The Unexpected Choices In Life
by Kylie-maree
Summary: Bella decided to move back to Forks,Washington,but why? What happenens when she meets Edward? Set during High School.Expanded summary included.All Human,Cannon Couples.Rated M,due to violence & adult themes
1. Summary

**A/N : **

**This is my first Fan Fic.  
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**I am from Australia and well i'll be using the Australian spelling of words, so please bear that in mind when you read my story. **

**I will be following the twilight story line to a certain point but it will be different. **

**I have already written the first 3 first two are relatively short but they will get bigger. I'm just going to break them up where I feel they need to. **

**Ok so i have expanded on the Summary a little.**

**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Summary:<strong>

Every decision we make impacts on our lives in one way or another. One decision can make your life a living hell, I should know. What I would do to change that one decision, well it's simple I literally would do anything. I, Bella Swan, have always been just your average girl never noticed by anyone. I was just another one in the many thousand that attends my school in Phoenix, no one ever really noticed me and I didn't mind. I kind of liked it like that. However one decision changed everything, I'm not the same girl anymore. I can no longer stand to be in Phoenix. I really didn't want to leave but I couldn't face going to that school every day and acting as if everything was ok, especially with the gossiping and pointing. So I decided – although it felt more like forced – to move back to where I was born, back to Forks Washington, leaving behind my mother and the life that I have known for the past 17 years.

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><p>Hopefully Bella can overcome her demons, deal with her past and handle what is to come next or will they follow her to Forks never letting her forget. How will she deal with that nightmare that happened? Will she find the courage to talk to someone and will Edward he her saviour that helps her deal with what happened and help her move on.<p> 


	2. Chapter 1:Leaving Phoenix

**A/N: Here is the first chapter. Let me know what you think. The chapters do get longer after this. **

**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: <strong>Leaving Phoenix

I was currently saying goodbye to my mother, Renee, she and Phil, her husband, are dropping me off at the airport, which was meant to be a quick and essentially painless activity however I was wrong. Renee was asking me for the hundredth time since we left the house if I was sure and I honestly nearly lost my nerve.

"Bella – you really do not have to do this, please just stay here, Isabella please." She pleaded

"Mom I want to do this, really." I replied, I couldn't risk saying anymore because I knew that I would eventually crack and tell her everything. I held it together, I had too and I was actually starting to believe myself. I am a terrible liar and I know it and so does Renee, but she wasn't fighting me on this so she must think that I am telling the truth. So I must be getting good. I almost laughed out loud at this, although that would be a dead give-away, luckily I was able to hide my laughter though a cough.

They walked me into the terminal and helped me check in my luggage, which wasn't much considering the weather in Forks was a 180 of what it is in Phoenix, so most of my clothes really weren't suitable. My luggage consisted of two suitcases and a carry-on bag, as I said not much. We decided to say our goodbyes before I went through security, I didn't want them to have to hang around and well I might lose my nerve and leave with them. Renee shed a few tears and I just comforted her and told her that she had Phil now and that I was going to go and spend some quality time with Charlie.

Phil assured me that he would take care of Renee, for which, I was grateful. Renee isn't one to remember to do things, once I remember she forgot to pay the electric bill and our electricity was cut off, of course I had to fix it and ever since then I took control of paying bills so that would never happen again, cold showers are so not nice! Renee now had someone to pay bills, go grocery shopping and eat her weird concoctions she calls food – that is one thing I will not miss her weird and wacky cooking skills. I was always the grown up in our little twosome that is until Phil came along. He made Renee so happy and could actually deal with her free spirited nature which was a bonus. So I felt that I wasn't letting her down or tying her down anymore and now she was free to travel with Phil.

My mother doesn't know why I have decided to leave Phoenix, she believes that I am doing it out of guilt because she has been forced to stay with me while Phil travels for Baseball. Phil is a minor league baseball player, he isn't any good really that's why he has to travel a lot. That wasn't the reason why, Renee did travel with Phil a bit but well I could see how it made her unhappy to be away from him when she chose to stay at home with me. Ok so there were really two reasons, well three reasons but I just threw the Charlie reason in for good measure so it wouldn't make her felt guilty about me leaving.

Once they left me I walked through security to wait for my flight it was only a four hour flight, well the first leg of the journey was, to Seattle. I settled into my seat to wait the 30 minutes before we could board.

The 30 minutes seemed to fly and the next thing I knew I was seated into my seat, a window seat no less and next to some business looking guy in a suit. The suit gave him away, he has to be some sort of business type guy, I mean who else wears a suit on a freaking plane. He probably would be on his computer most of the trip or something so the flight would be peaceful, thank god I didn't get seated next to a crying baby or old lady that could talk me ear off or something.

The four hours seemed to drag and I was able to really think about what I was doing. I don't know whether I was doing the right thing or not, well too late for that now but how can one make a big decision just to move like that. I think I scared Renee when I told her. I didn't really do it very tactfully and I wasn't thinking straight, I knew I just had to get out of there. I told her Thursday night that I wanted to go live with Charlie, I just walked out of my room blurted it out and walked back to my room. Definitely not very tactful and she probably thought that I had lost my mind. I know I would have thought that if I were her. I mean who in their right mind just decides to up and move all of a sudden with no warning.

So here it is Sunday morning and I'm on a flight to Seattle. I spent the whole flight to Seattle debating internally if I was doing the right thing, but the right thing for who exactly. Both my parents won in this, well I don't know what you would call it, my insane moment of instability. That'll work, sounds good. Renee wins because she can now spend time with Phil and not worry about leaving me home alone and Charlie wins well because he gets to see me on a more consistent basis, he has always missed spending time with me – not that he would actually say that out loud or anything. So the only one suffering through all of this is me, but I would be suffering regardless of the decision I made.

Now I was in the process of transferring to a smaller plane to head down to Port Angeles, this flight was a shorter one only 1 hour. This reminds me so much of when I was a kid and I'd be passed from one parent to the other during the Summer Holidays, although this time I am not a kid and I'm moving here well permanently, well for at least until I finish high school.

Ok so now the panic had set in. I was actually doing this, moving to Forks. I really didn't like coming here during the Summer, it was always too cold and too green. I love Phoenix, well I did until recently, the weather was my type of weather the sun was always out and it was always hot and Forks well was cold, wet, rained constantly and you know what it kind of goes with my state of mind at the moment so I can be miserable in the right kind of environment for being miserable. Maybe people won't notice as much here if I'm miserable they might just chalk it up to the weather. Things are looking slightly better already.


	3. Chapter 2: Arriving at Forks

**A/N: So I thought while I have finished chapter 2 might as well upload it. Please review and let me know what you are thinking so far, I already have chapter 3 and 4 done. Don't know when I will upload it yet.  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 2:<strong> Arriving at Forks

It only felt like 5 minutes we were in the air before the plane started to descend, well here goes nothing. I got out of my seat and grabbed my carry-on bag and headed out, well this sure is original it's raining - nothing new there just have to get use to it now more rain where that is coming from.

Charlie of course was waiting for me. I groaned internally. Charlie was the police Chief to the good old people of Forks and of course he drove the police cruiser and I of course got to ride with him home in it. First chance I get I'm buying a car, luckily I am a good saver and have a little put aside and could probably afford something small, and old, oh and something preferably that runs. Definitely need to look into it because I am not driving with Charlie in that. I shuddered at the thought.

I am not looking forward to the hour long drive back to Forks with Charlie. He was happy that I was coming to live with him but didn't really understand why and why now, just like Renee. Maybe they both thought I was losing my mind and they where humouring me while secretly having me evaluated by some doctor, ok paranoid much, I mean they both know I hate Forks and if that doesn't sound alarm bells I don't know what would. We I do know what would be I'm so not going there right now. I'm already depressed enough as it is not need to make them depressed too.

I was brought out of my inner thoughts by Charlie grabbing my carry-on bag and giving me an awkward one armed hug. Kind of made me jump a little and almost trip over. Charlie steadied me but I moved away quickly once I was standing on my own two feet.

"Good to see you Bells." He said smiling at me. "You haven't changed much since last time I seen you. How is your mother?"

"Yeah mom is fine. It's good to see you too Dad." I so wasn't really allowed to call him Charlie, well to his face anyway, behind his back was another story completely.

Charlie grabbed my bags and started walking towards the cruiser. Popping the trunk and placing them inside. I walked to the passenger side and got in as I waited for Charlie to finish putting my bags in the trunk.

"I got you a homecoming gift." Charlie stated.

Wow he really must be excited for me to be here but still he didn't need to get me anything.

"Um Dad you didn't need to do that really."

"Well I didn't think you would like driving around in my cruiser and well you do need to get to school and more times than not it is raining and I leave too early to take you to school, not that you would want that anyway." Charlie rambled out.

Ok double wow, longest sentence I have ever heard Charlie say and he got me a car, say what.

"Wow Dad you really really didn't need to do that, I was going to buy my own car when I got the chance."

"Well it's nothing fancy and it's the perfect car for you. "

Ok nothing fancy that's ok I can do nothing fancy but good for me, kind of interesting.

"Ok what year is it?" I inquired, I could ask that it's a simple enough question.

"Um yeah I think it is late 90's"

OK that's not too bad so it isn't ancient.

"What type of car is it?" Again another simple question.

"It's a ford pick-up." He looked at me then and probably seen the look on my face. "It's a sturdy thing and Jacob has kept it in top condition. "

"Oh ok, um how much was it?"

"Bells I said I would get it for you and now it's already paid for and everything." He stated looking concerned now.

I hated people buying me things, that just wasn't me. Charlie knew this as well.

"Look I got it cheap enough you remember Billy Black?" He asked.

I shook my head no, well I don't remember him. Should I remember him, I haven't been to Forks since I was like 12 years old and even then it wasn't as if I paid attention.

"Well he lives at La Push and went I went fishing I'd take you with me, you would play with his daughters Rachel and Rebecca." He looked at me again and continued, "Well Billy can't drive anymore and has been keeping it in his garage and well it's been gathering dust, Jacob however has been keeping it running and maintaining it. But well Jacob didn't want it and so Billy decided to sell it to me and well seen as how we are mates and all, well Bells you get the picture."

Ok so this is now officially the longest conversation I have had with Charlie and that's kind of scary. I was somewhat surprised that he did this for me. It took me completely off guard and also meant that I had extra money that I thought I would have to spend on a car.

"Um thanks Dad, I really appreciate it." I smiled at him and he nodded in acceptance.

Charlie and I are much the same, we don't really like to show our emotions and for him to do this for me meant a lot.

"Well I just want you to be happy here."

Little did he know that no matter how hard he tried I would never be the same and I definitely would not be happy. My life has taken a drastic spiral of well I don't know what you would call it but I feel like everything is out of my control. A week and a half ago I was fine living my life as the average girl at my school and not being noticed and then it happened and now everything won't be the same again ever. I had not let myself think too much about it I couldn't let Renee see me break down, although I think she knows something is wrong but she won't say anything unless I bring it up and for that I love her. Although why she wouldn't bring it up is a mystery to me. Your daughter decided to move to a different state and for no known reasons, wouldn't any normal parent ask why. But then again Renee is not your normal parent.

We finally pulled up at Charlie's house, well my house too now I guess. Nothing much had changed since the last time I was here, well except the new addition of my brand new pick-up, well it's new to me anyway. Charlie and Renee bought this house right after they were married, it is a cute two bedroom two story house. The house was in a quiet street, and it backed onto the forest behind. That's one good thing about Forks you don't live on top of your neighbours, there is a good distance between houses.

I got out the cruiser and grabbed my carry-on bag, Charlie insisted on carrying my two suitcases. Charlie unlocked the door and headed straight upstairs and I followed. Charlie placed my suitcases by the bed and stood there awkwardly. I thought I'd save him from this awkward situation, he probably didn't know what to say or do at this point.

"Thanks for bringing my things up."

"No problem Bells, um so I'll just head down stairs," He started heading to the door and paused in the doorway "Bells pizza good tonight, I thought we could order in?"

"Yeah sure sounds good." I said as I sat on my bed.

"Ok then well just yell if you need anything." Charlie said while shifting uncomfortably in the doorway and then he turned and went down stairs, probably to watch some sports on the flat screen.

Charlie was great. He wasn't like Renee, he didn't hover over me and ask me 20 questions, which if the situation was reversed and this was happening to Renee she wouldn't have been able to leave me alone to gather my thoughts.

He really wasn't use to situations like these, well me either, he was probably trying to figure out the best way to ask me why I decided to come. He actually hasn't asked me yet, but then again Charlie isn't one to pry.

I sat here looked at my room. Nothing much has changed. Typical Charlie he doesn't like change and he probably hasn't been up in my room that much. I am amazed that he didn't turn it into an office or something, obviously he hoped that I would one day come back. Well if he did he got his wish.

Looking around I noticed that the walls were the same colour we painted it one year when I came to visit, we only painted it because Charlie though that I might like a purple room and when I came one Summer I threw a hissy fit and refused to sleep in it until we painted it a different colour – as I remember I think I said something about I don't sleep in girl coloured rooms. That Summer we painted it light blue, which honestly was a much better colour than purple. My old dresser was in the corner next the closet, a small desk was by the window and it held a computer. Wait a computer well that's different and on closer inspection it looks somewhat newish. Ok so Charlie has bought more than just a new vehicle for me. He really must be happy that I am home. Ok wow I am already calling Forks home, this is bad. Things are looking better a computer at least I won't go completely insane here then and on closer inspection it was hooked up to the phone jack in the wall which meant that I had internet access, got to love Charlie, wonder how he came up with that idea.

My old rocking chair was by the other window that overlooks the road and the hideous yellow lace curtains – yuk I so need to do something about those curtains, maybe I could get a dark blue or maybe even purple to match the bedding. Ok maybe Charlie forgot my hate for purple, although honestly it isn't that bad. Maybe it might grow on me. The floor was hardwood with the addition of a dark blue shaggy rug on ground at the end of the bed. A full length mirror was next to the closet.

It was nice to finally be alone, it was a relief to not have to look happy and smile, I could just stare out the window at the rain that had picked up. A few tears escaped, damn emotions luckily no one was here to see. I wasn't in the mood to let my emotions get the better of me, I would save it for later.

I decided to pack things away before I went any further. Get the annoying stuff out the way first and keep myself busy. If I'm busy I can't think and if I can't think about it then I won't get upset. I can't let Charlie see me like that or he'll either have me committed or send me back to Renee. Nothing would make him freak out like having his teenage daughter who just arrived crying her eyes out hysterically, although would be interesting to see how he handled that one, probably would call Renee and freak her out which would end up in either me being sent home or her coming here.

So for the next hour I put my clothes away and my few belongings I brought with me, which were mainly books. Honestly I think I dragged it out by making sure everything was where I wanted it to be and I might have rearranged things a few times just to make sure. I put my bathroom supplies into the bathroom and I groaned internally at the thought of sharing a bathroom. I have to share the bathroom and with Charlie so not looking forward to this, At Renee's place I had my own bathroom and this was going to take some getting use to. Sharing a bathroom with a male, they are so not clean creatures, hopefully he remembers to put the seat down.

Once I had everything put away I decided to pay a visit to Charlie, might as well show him that I am in fact still alive and here and that I haven't got lost, though how I would get lost upstairs is a mystery to me. As I came down the stairs I noticed the television was on and Charlie of course was in his favourite lounge chair with his vitamin R in his hands. He looked up and noticed me and then turned the television down.

"Bells I ordered the pizza should be here in about another 10 minutes." He looked at me and smiled "You still like pepperoni?"

"Yeah Dad Pepperoni is fine." I replied as I took a seat on the couch.

Charlie watched the last 5 minutes of his football game, why anyone would find that interesting I have no idea. Then he changed the channel to some mindless sitcom. It wasn't half bad but I wasn't paying too much attention. Not long after the doorbell rang and our pizza was here.

I went into the kitchen and got myself a glass of water and some napkins, while Charlie paid for the pizza. We ate in silence in front of the flat screen while watching the sitcom. I honestly didn't know how hungry I really was, I had only had breakfast and didn't really have time to have lunch with all the travelling I've done today. I managed to eat 4 slices. Once we finished I cleaned up and put the rubbish in the bin. I told Charlie that I was going to shower and head to bed.

It was about 9pm by the time I walked upstairs to have my shower. I gathered my pyjamas and a towel from the hall closet and headed to the bathroom. I turned on the water to let it heat up while I undressed. I cringed as I took off my shirt; I think I could have some broken ribs, I've suspected this or the past week but every time I take my shirt off I still cringe with pain. I've broken some before when I was younger it was a bike accident I think I was about 10, it kind of felt like that. I looked down and the bruises were still their but fading a bit. I willed myself to not think about what happened, there was time for crying when I went to bed and when Charlie was asleep so he couldn't hear me break down.

I finished getting undressed, tied my hair up – I would wash it tomorrow when I had more time to dry it properly. I showered relatively quickly, only staying in long enough to wash myself and get out. In a rush I dried myself and got dressed, it was way too cold to take my time; I was worried I might get phenomena or something. Have people ever got that, I mean it doesn't take long to get out the shower and dressed but still weirder things are possible right like Vampires and Werewolves exist and run around pretending to be normal. I snorted at the possibility.

I put my dirty clothes in the hamper and hung up my towel to dry and then walked down stairs to say goodnight to Charlie. I walked into the living room and Charlie was still sitting in his favourite chair with a can of vitamin R in hand. He looked up as I approached.

"Good night Dad."

"Night Bells. Sleep well." He hesitated before continuing on "I probably will be gone by the time you get up. You know where the school is."

That's right Charlie got me signed up for school and everything. Must have done that Friday once Renee called him to tell him I was coming back to Forks. He really must have been excited for me to be here or maybe just didn't want to mess with my schooling.

"Yeah sure shouldn't be too hard to find." I replied and with that I walked back up the stairs to my room.

Once in my room I closed the door at turned on the bedside lamp. I couldn't sleep without the light on anymore, ever since, the dark it scares me. It's only been a week and well I tried not to think about it but subconsciously I know that deep down, I can't not think about it. With that the tears started to fall.

I didn't sleep well that night, even after I was done crying. I cried about being in Forks, about what had happened, about missing my mother and about my new life here in Forks. The constant whooshing of the rain and wind across the roof wouldn't fade into the background. I pulled the quilt over my head, and later added the pillow, too. But I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight, when the rain finally settled down into a quieter drizzle.

Even then I still woke up during the night. Sweating and Screaming into my pillow. How anyone can sweat in Forks is beyond me but I was. For the past week I haven't had a good nights sleep and every time I woke up it took me longer to fall back asleep. The last time I looked at my clock on the nightstand it said 5am and I swear I heard Charlie up already.


	4. Chapter 3: First Day At Forks High

**A/N: Ok so here is Chapter 3, it's longer than the previous chapters. **

**Let me know what you think. So please review.  
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**So far I have finished Chapter 4 and have an idea where chapter 5 is headed - haven't started writing it yet.  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: <strong>First Day At Forks High

My alarm clock went off at 6.30am; I groaned and turned it off. I could really do with another 1 hour or even 5 more minutes would be nice. So I rolled over and hoped that by some miracle I could turn back time to just over a week ago or that my comforter would just swallow me whole. My life was average I was happy but now it felt like I was living a nightmare. Eventually I looked at the clock again ok so maybe more than an extra 5 minutes, it was now 6.45am. I quickly jumped out of bed and winced, not such a good idea to move too much with broken rib or is it ribs, who knows and who cares really.

I looked around trying to remember where I was, this wasn't my room in Phoenix and then it hit me, I moved to Forks yesterday – hmm so that actually happened and I didn't just dream it up. I walked over to my window and pulled the curtains back, definitely still in Forks thick fog was all I could see. Wouldn't see something like this in Phoenix that's for sure. I wonder if a person could get claustrophobic here, I mean I have yet to see blue sky and I don't know but I feel like I'm trapped in a cage not being able to see the sun. It's not normal.

I went down stairs and found Charlie finishing up his breakfast. He wished me good luck at school, little did he know that luck tended to avoid me, and said he would be home in time for dinner. He left soon after this, off the Forks Police Station that had been his wife and family since we left. Renee left with me when I was only a baby, she never liked Forks and was never one to just be a normal housewife and stay home especially in quiet little Forks. I felt sorry for Charlie being alone, he never found someone to be happy with after Renee left.

After he left, I sat down at the old oak table in one of the 3 non-matching chairs and looked over the kitchen. Nothing had changed, the cabinets were still the horrid bright yellow, dark panelled walls and the white linoleum floor. Renee had painted the kitchen cabinets when they first bought the house, she was attempting to brighten the place up and make it seem less dull and gloomy, little did she know that nothing could help that.

I decided to get myself some breakfast. Looking through the cupboard I found some cereal. Grabbed a bowl and the milk and sat down at the table to eat. While I ate I looked over the house noticed small little details.

I looked over to the small fireplace in the adjoining living room to the row of pictures. Charlie still held onto memories of Renee you could tell. There was a picture from their wedding day, my parents got married in a quickie ceremony in Las Vegas, then there was another picture from the day I was born, they both seemed so happy in that picture and then to my dismay there were my school pictures every one right up until last year. They were seriously embarrassing to look at, you could tell Charlie missed me and for that I felt bad. I wonder if I could get him to move them, well until at least I no longer am here, I don't like looking at my own pictures at all and seeing them every day so no fun.

It is impossible, being in this house, not to realise that Charlie had never gotten over Renee, it was kind of uncomfortable to know this and to know that he never moved on.

I decided to go and get ready for school. I rinsed my bowl, put the milk away and headed upstairs. I walked to my closet and pulled out my favourite pair of jeans and a simple long sleeved shirt. I quickly pulled out a bra and panties and got dressed. I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. That's when I started to think about the day ahead.

Forks High School had only three hundred and fifty seven – now fifty eight – students; there were more than seven hundred students in my junior class alone back in Phoenix. All the kids here probably grew up with each other – their grandparents had been toddlers together – they had their own groups and friendship bonds. I mean who in their right mind would move to Forks, your parents were born here and they never just moved here for the sake of moving here, there is nothing to move here for and if they did then you would seriously question their sanity. Ok so the same could be said for me but hey I am moving to spend time with Charlie, that's a relatively believable reason – isn't it.

I picked up my tooth brush and started to brush my teeth as I thought about how people would perceive me today. I am the new girl from the big bad city, a curiosity, a freak. I definitely did not look like a girl from Phoenix should; maybe if I did could use this to my advantage – ah who was I kidding I am nothing special. I physically I would never fit in anywhere, not even here in quiet little Forks. I should be tan, sporty, blonde – a volleyball player, or a cheerleader, maybe – all the things that you associate with living in the valley of the sun.

But honestly who was I kidding, I was ivory-skinned, without even the excuse of blue eyes or red hair, despite the constant sunshine. I have always been slender, but soft somehow, obviously not an athlete; I don't have the necessary hand-eye coordination to play sports without humiliating myself – and harming both myself and anyone else who stood to close to me.

I abruptly spit and rinsed my mouth out, I hate the taste of toothpaste, and I looked at my face in the mirror as I brushed through my tangled bed hair. Maybe it was the light, but I already looked sallower, unhealthier but for the last week I have looked like that but here it was one hundred times worse. My skin could be pretty – it was very clear, almost translucent-looking – but it all depended on colour. I had no colour here.

Facing my pallid reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself. It wasn't just physically that I'd never fit in here or anywhere for that matter. I mean I couldn't even find a niche in a school with three thousand students, seriously what are my chances here? When there are only just over three hundred.

In all honesty I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people in general. Even Renee, my own mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the plant, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. I sometimes wondered if something was wrong with me like I wasn't seeing things the same as other people. Maybe my view of the world is completely different and my reactions and actions are not deemed normal. No I've got it there is like some glitch in my brain that makes me different. But really the cause doesn't matter. All that mattered is that the effect and today is just the beginning of the inevitable.

I knew then that I was time to get out of the house before I psyched myself out of going to school. Charlie definitely would not be pleased if I did that on my first day. Hoping that the change of scenery would improve my mood. I didn't want to be early to school, but I couldn't stay in this house any longer.

I hastily finished brushing my hair and put it up into a messy pony tail. I went into my room and grabbed my book bag and headed down stairs. I collected my jacket – which had the feel of a biohazard suit – from the closet and headed out the door and into the rain.

It was just drizzling, not enough to soak me through immediately. I made sure to lock the door, not that I think I needed to I mean everyone knows where Charlie is and well he is the Police Chief so you either had to have a death wish or be really stupid to try to break into Charlie's house. The sloshing of my new waterproof boots was extremely unnerving. I missed the normal crunch of gravel as I walked not this wet sounding sloshing sound. I didn't have time to inspect my vehicle as I wanted to; I was in a hurry to get out of this misty wet that swirled around my head and clung to my hair under my hood.

Inside my truck, that's what it is right it's a pick-up truck, but it needs a name. Ok am I seriously going to give my ride a name. Wow I was about to give an inanimate object a name. Moving on, it is actually pretty tidy inside and better than being out side at the moment in the rain. Someone must have cleaned it, Billy maybe or Charlie. The seats still smelled faintly of tobacco, gasoline and peppermint. Charlie was hoping that this would help make me happy here, having a vehicle to get around, little did he know that deep down inside it feels like I'm slowly dying and one day I'm just going to lose it completely. But I can't it wouldn't be fair to him or to Renee, just keep moving forward get up and go about my day and act as if everything is great, I can do that right. I mean I have so far and no one has called me out yet.

The engine started quickly, to my relief, I thought it might take a few tries considering how cold it was. By the looks of it everything seemed to work, the radio was already tuned into a local station, might need to change that wonder how the reception on this thing is. I honestly thought that something might be wrong with it considering that Charlie said he got it cheap, but he also said that it was in good condition.

Finding the High School wasn't too difficult, even though I've never been here before. The school was, like most other things, just off the highway. There really wasn't much in the small town, just the essentials. It was not that obvious that it was a school; I was only aware that it was because a sign out the front declared that it was Forks High School, so with that I turned into the driveway. It really only looked like a collection of matching houses, that were built the same nothing really gave the impression that it was actually a school. There were so many trees and shrubs that I couldn't really see its size at first. This is definitely different it didn't feel like a school should, where was the institutional feel, chain-link fences and the metal detectors? Oh wait its Forks I doubt the students would do something to warrant the school needing such devices.

I scanned the buildings looking for any indication of where the office would be. I found it and quickly parked in front of the first building, which indicated that it was the office. I wasn't sure if I should park my truck here but I was only going to be a minute or two and plus I had no idea where students parked their cars. I'm sure the office person would be able to tell me where to park my truck, I don't want to look like a total idiot trying to find where to park, nothing says I'm the new student like circles around aimlessly.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the panic that I could feel slowly starting to spike. I use to like school and enjoy learning but now I would prefer it if I could just stay at home and hide under my comforter. I stepped unwillingly out of my truck forcing my feet to move and walked up the little stone path lined with hedges to the office. I took one last deep breath, no turning back now, before I opened the door.

Inside, it was bright and warmer than I had anticipated. It was a small office, compared to the my school in Phoenix, there was a little waiting area with those annoying padded folding chairs that are always uncomfortable to sit in, grey dull carpet, notices and awards covering the walls, a big clock that ticks annoyingly loud for such a tiny thing. Plants grew everywhere in large plastic pots, not sure if they were real or fake, but really does there need to be more green isn't there enough of that outside. The room was cut in half by a long counter, cluttered with wire baskets full of papers and brightly coloured flyers taped to its front. There were three small desks behind the counter, one of which was occupied by a large, grey haired woman wearing glasses. She was wearing a green t-shirt, ok seriously what is with green in this town isn't there enough of that outside.

The grey haired woman looked up then and noticed me standing at the counter.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm Isabella Swan," I informed her, hiding my grimace I hated using my full name, I saw the awareness in her face. I was expected, a topic probably of hot gossip no doubt. It's a small town and well people in small towns always talk and know everything – I mean they do in movies right. Of course people would know I was coming I am, after all, the daughter of the Police Chief finally coming back to where she was born to live with her father.

"Of course," She said.

She dug through a rather large pile of documents on her desk; I'm amazed they didn't fall over. She obviously found the ones she was looking for because she stood up and came over to the counter with them.

"I have you schedule right here, and a map of the school grounds."

She pointed each one out to me and then proceeded to go through my classes, showing me the best way to get to each and she also gave me a slip to have the teachers' sign which I was to bring back to the office at the end of the day. She smiled at me and hoped, like Charlie, that I would like it here in Forks. I smiled back as convincingly as I could, which I don't think was very convincing.

I walked back out to my truck and noticed that other students were starting to arrive. I drove around the school, following the line of traffic. I was glad to see that a few other people had a pick-up truck like mine, that's good, so my truck wouldn't stand out.

In Phoenix I lived in one of the few lower-income neighbourhoods that were included in the Paradise Valley District. It was common to see a new Mercedes or Porsche in the student parking lot. The nicest car here was a shiny Volvo, and it stood out.

I quickly found a parking space and turned off the engine. I grabbed my bag of the passenger seat, looked at my map one last time before shoving it into my bag and then I looked out the window. The panic that I had pushed down and tried to suppress came to the surface full force. It felt like I couldn't breathe and that someone was standing on my chest. _Everything is ok, nothing is going to happen, this is not Phoenix, he is not here, he cannot hurt me._ I kept that mantra going in my head, I just kept saying it. Trying to calm myself down, I took a few deep breaths. I opened my eyes and new that it was now or never, so I opened my door and stepped out into the cold.

I threw my bag over my shoulder and pulled my hood over my head as I walked to the sidewalk that was crowded with teenagers. I noticed that my plain black jacket didn't stand out, I noticed with relief, that's one less thing to worry about – that was the stupidest thing to worry about I know.

Once I got around the cafeteria, building three was easy to spot. A large black "3" was painted on a white square on the east corner. I felt my breathing gradually creeping towards hyperventilation as I approached the door, I can do this it's not like anything bad is going to happen it just walking through a door. I tried to steady my breathing as I followed two unisex raincoats through the door.

The classroom was small. The people in front stopped just inside the door to hang up their coats on a long row of hooks, I copied them. They were two girls, one a porcelain-coloured blonde, the other also pale with light brown hair. Well I guess that is one thing my skin definitely won't stand out here.

I took the slip up to the teacher, a tall, balding man whose desk had a nameplate identifying him as Mr McDonald. He gawked at me when he saw my name – not an encouraging response. I flushed tomato red. Then he sent me to an empty desk at the back of the room, at least he didn't make me introduce myself and give a little speech about why I came here or about myself – now that would be embarrassing. Being at the back of the room it was harder for the other student to stare at me, but they still managed, they must have found me somewhat of interest. I guess they would, seen as how I am the new girl and all; hopefully it would wear off by tomorrow or the end of the week at the latest. I really hated attention at the best of times but now more so. I just wanted to be invisible again, I liked invisible it was safe and comfortable.

I managed to keep my eyes down on the reading list that the teacher had given me. Honestly I had read them all and it was fairly basic stuff: Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer and Faulkner. Well it was comforting to know that I already know the material but also boring. Couldn't actually read something new and keep myself occupied. I wondered if Renee would send me my old school stuff with my essays, or if she would think that it was cheating. I decided to go over the arguments in my head as to why it would be a good idea and it helped to drown out the teachers ramblings.

The bell pulled me out of my inner debate; I was surprised that I managed to keep my mind on my inner debate during the whole class. All of a sudden a boy with really bad ache and black hair leaned across the aisle to talk to me. Great just want I need.

"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" He looked kind of like the chess club type, overly helpful.

"Bella," I corrected automatically. Of course everyone in a three seat radius turned to look at me. Oh great, I hoped that this wasn't going to start a long conversation, I wasn't ready for the whole get to know the new girl stuff.

"Oh ok then Bella. So where's your next class?" he asked eagerly.

I of course had no idea so I had to check my schedule. "Um, Government, with Mr Hobson, in building six."

There was nowhere to look without meeting the curious eyes of my overly interested classmates, I looked down to avert my gaze, I really hated being the centre of attention. Some would say that I hate attention like a cat hates water.

"I'm heading towards building four, I could show you the way there if you like?" He is definitely the overly helpful kind of boy, hopefully that is all it is. "I'm Eric," he added.

I smiled tentatively. "Thanks" Well what could I say no I'm good I can find my own way I don't like you and stop looking at me and just don't talk to me for the rest of my self imposed imprisonment here. Wow ok yeah I didn't use to be like that, kind of mean, he didn't mean anything by it.

We stood up and retrieved our jackets from the hooks and headed out into the rain, which of course was still there but only heavier than before. I swear some of the other students were walking closer than what any normal person should, or was that just my imagination being paranoid again.

"So, this is like different from Phoenix, yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah"

"It doesn't rain much there does it?"

"Not really"

"Wow I can't imagine what that is like" He stated.

"Sunny." Wow harsh much. I mean if it didn't rain of course it would be sunny. Ok I'm letting my own depressed mind take over here.

"You don't look very tan." He commented.

Yeah really who says something like that to someone and someone you just met.

"Oh yeah well my mother is part albino."

He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. Yeah well it looks as though this weather has induced a state of no sense of humour. Honestly I am surprised that I even had a witty comment to come back at him with.

We walked around some buildings, to the south buildings by the gym. Eric walked me right up to the door to my classroom, even though I could plainly see it, as it was marked. I don't think I was that much of an idiot that I would have walked straight past it. I so hope he doesn't get any ideas, I mean he seems harmless enough but really, ok why would I think that. _He_ was harmless enough and look what happened, in Phoenix. I felt a surge of panic bubble and almost take over but I managed to rein it in and keep the smile on my face. Anyway being helpful won't help him, I don't date not anymore and I won't ever again.

"Well, good luck," He said as I went to walk into the classroom. "Maybe we'll get lucky and have some other classes together." Oh no he sounded hopeful, not good.

I smiled at him vaguely as I continued to walk inside. Class of course was boring. Government how much boring can you get and well the teacher didn't make it any more interesting in fact he actually made it even worse. Mr. Hobson didn't make a fuss just signed my slip and sent me to an empty seat. So far two great teachers, no fuss about the new student, which instantly made me like them just a little.

The rest of the morning passed rather quickly and in the same fashion. My Trigonometry teacher, Mr. Schofield, who I would have hated anyway due to the subject he taught, made me stand in front of the class and do the whole get to know the new student thing. So not cool, why do teachers do that to students, I swear it is just to humiliate them and embarrass them. I stammered and blushed my way through my little spiel about myself, not really giving too much away. Just saying the bare essentials to make the teacher happy, then of course me being the klutz that I am tripped over my own boots on my way to my seat – way to go there genius.

After about two classes, I started to recognise several of the faces in each class. There was nothing else to do really. The of course there was always someone braver than the rest who would introduce themselves and ask me stupid questions about how I was liking Forks. Oh really how do you think I like it here. I tried to be nice and diplomatic, it wasn't their faults that I was in a depressive downward spiral, but if I was honest I lied a lot just to keep the peace.

One girl sat next to me in both Trig and Spanish, and she walked with me to the cafeteria at lunch. She was tiny, a few inches shorter than me, but her wildly curly dark brown hair made up a lot of the difference and it seemed like we were the same height. I for the life of me couldn't remember her name, I think she told me. Anyway, I just nodded and smiled at her as she talked about the school and the teachers. I honestly couldn't keep up with what she was saying, I wasn't really interested.

To my dismay we sat at the end of a full table with her friends, who she did introduce me too. I wasn't paying close attention so I forgot them as soon as they left her lips. I didn't want to sit with a large group but I also didn't want to sit alone, honestly I don't know which one would have been worse. The rest of the students at our table seemed to be impressed that she was actually talking to the new student and somewhat taking me under her wings so to speak. And of course the boy from English waved to me from his group of friend, I can't even remember his name, I think it starts with an E, maybe. I quickly was distracted by a little pixie like student walking in front of him to her group of friends. I looked at her table and I saw them.

They were sitting in the corner; far far away from everyone else, even the table next to them was empty. There were five of them. They were making quiet conversation with each other. They also didn't seem to be staring at me like everyone else in this damn cafeteria. They each were picking at their lunches slowly eating the items on their trays. Since they weren't looking at me it was safe to look at them without being seen by them. Something about them caught my attention; I can't put my finger on it. I've never been one to stare at others but they held my attention.

They didn't really look anything alike. There were three boys, one of them was big and I mean big be could be like a pro wrestler or something that you see on that stupid WWE, yeah I know kind of sad I know that but Phil watched it what can I say. The big guy had dark curly hair and he really was scary looking. Another one was taller, leaner but looked muscular and his hair was honey blonde and wavy. The last one was lanky looking, less bulky than the other two and his hair was untidy, bronze coloured. He was more boyish looking than the others, seemed to have an innocence about him maybe. Ok really I'm analysing the other students and male students no less. I'm not the type of girl to do that but still they were all handsome looking.

The girls of course were complete opposites. The tall one was statuesque, she looked beautiful and was the type of girl you seen in magazines, she was the type to make me look below average looking. Girls would take a self esteem hit standing next to her. That's kind of harsh I shouldn't judge a book by its cover an all that but really she was gorgeous. Her hair was a stunning golden colour, long and wavy. The other girl, the one I seen before, the pixie looking one. Was short, extremely thin – maybe she is anorexic or something. Her hair was deep black, cropped short and pointing in every direction.

They all had the same type of skin tone, chalky pale; they were my type of pale. They all had beautiful eyes, the two blondes; had bright blue eyes and the other three had green eyes. Maybe they were related or something I mean they kind of look the same in a weird way.

They actually held my attention and I couldn't look away. I've never had this feeling before it is somewhat weird. I stared because they were all so beautiful, I've never seen anyone with that amount of pure beautify let alone five of them. Those faces are ones you would only ever expect to see on the cover of magazines or in LA. It was hard to decide which one was more beautiful. Maybe it was the blonde haired girl or the bronze haired boy.

It was like they were bored with each other or something, they weren't looking at each other but they weren't looking at the other students either. They were in their own little bubbles. The pixie looking girl got up then, she looked rather annoyed, and she put her rubbish into the closest bin and glided out through the back of the cafeteria. I wondered who they were.

"Who are they?" I asked the girl from my Spanish class, whose name I had no idea.

She looked up to see who I had been talking about – she probably already knew but was just humouring me. Then all of a sudden like he could feel that he was being watched he looked around the cafeteria and then landed on us and stared. He looked quickly at the girl next to me and then to me, he kind of looked annoyed. Then he turned back to his table and forgot about us. I instantly was embarrassed at being caught staring at him, I blushed and dropped by gaze to the table.

My neighbour thought it was funny and started to giggle at being caught staring at him. She then averted her gaze to the table as I did before telling me who they were.

"That is Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The other one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." She said under her breath.

I glanced sideways at the bronze haired boy; he was now looking at his tray and picking at his food, not really eating it. He was talking to the others at his table but it was unclear if they were actually paying attention to his as they were looking away from him.

They were strange, unpopular names, I thought. The kinds of names that grandparents or great grandparents would have. Maybe their parents are old fashioned or names them after relatives or something. I finally remembered the girl sitting next to me had a relatively common name, Jessica. There were about 6 Jessica's in my year back in Phoenix.

"They are ... very nice looking." I struggled to come up with something that didn't sound like I was ogling the boys, that was perfectly acceptable, I mean it was true.

"Yes!" Jessica agreed with another giggle. "They're all together you know like together – Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they all like live together. Like totally weird." Her voice held all the shock and condemnation of a small town, I thought critically. But, I have to admit everywhere that would be the top of everyone's gossip and rumours.

"But aren't they like related and that like illegal?" I asked, "I mean some of them look like they could be related."

"Oh, well some of them are. Alice, Emmett and Edward are brothers and sister. Alice and Edward are twins. Jasper and Rosalie are foster kids or adopted, not sure which one, but they are twins as well. Their parents like died in a car accident or something but they are dead, the Cullen's' knew them I think, their parents I mean."

"Well that's really nice of the Cullen's' to take on more teenage kids, when they already have 3 of their own." I defended.

"Yeah I guess so," Jessica admitted reluctantly, and I got the impression that she didn't like the doctor or his wife for some reason – I have no idea why though. With the glances and looks she was throwing towards their kids, I would have to take a guess that it has something to do with jealousy.

"Have they always lived here in Forks?" I asked. Surely I would have noticed them on one of my Summers here.

"No," She said in a voice that implied that it should be obvious, even to me – a new arrival at the school. "They moved down like 2 years ago from somewhere in Alaska or was it Canada, I can't remember but it was one of those places. So they must like the cold, why anyone would want to move here I have like no idea." She looked at me then, "Um like no offense or anything. But you like had a reason, your Dad right."

I just smiled at her and nodded. She obviously didn't like living here.

I felt a surge of pity, and relief. I felt pity because, as beautiful as they are, they were still considered outsiders, and clearly not fully accepted. I felt relief that I wasn't the only newcomer here and certainly not the most interesting by any standard.

As I examined them, the bronze haired boy looked at me again. He just stared at me. Do I have food on my face or something, quickly I grabbed a napkin and wiped my face and looked away. Why was he staring at me, ok well I was staring first but still.

"Which on is the boy with the bronze hair?" I asked. I peeked at him from the corner of my eye, he was definitely still staring at me. Ok still kind of weird and freaking me out. Was he like the stalker kind. I wondered why he was looking at me, I wasn't anything special but then again I am the new girl and everyone was staring at me today. His stares were not the same as the others though, he wasn't gawking or pointing.

"That's Edward. He is gorgeous, of course, but seriously don't waste your time. He doesn't date anyone. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him. He is the captain of the Baseball team though but he isn't like to total popular guy it's weird he doesn't really talk to many people besides his family or team mates." She sniffed, a clear case of sour grapes. I wondered if he had turned her down or something.

I bit my lip to hide the smile that was forming on my face. She really didn't like the Cullen's and Hales very much by the sounds of it. Maybe there is a reason for it.

After a few more minutes, the four of them left the table together. They were all so graceful and were mucking around, the big guy was trying to hit Edward with some rubbish. Edward didn't look at me as he left the cafeteria. I sat at the table with Jessica and her friends a little longer than I would normally, well if I had been sitting alone. I was anxious not to be late to my next class, especially on my first day, I mean what if they knew Charlie and told him, that so would not be cool. One of my new acquaintances, who considerately reminded me that her name was Angela, had Biology II with me now. We walked together to our class in silence. She was obviously shy too.

When we entered the classroom, Angela went to sit at the black-topped lab table exactly like the ones I was used to in Phoenix. She already had a lab partner. In fact, all the tables were taken but one. Next to the centre aisle, I recognised Edward Cullen straight away by his unusual hair, sitting next to the only available seat in this class.

I walked to the teacher to introduce myself and to get my slip signed. Edward Cullen was watching me, well he must know that I am going to be his lab partner, I hope he wouldn't mind – I remember Jessica telling me that he doesn't like to talk to the other students. Would he have a problem with me being his partner, I mean there was no other available seat so he couldn't like say no or anything. I suddenly started to feel really self conscious. I normally don't really care what people think of me. So why did it matter what he thought. I never thought I would care ever again how a guy thought of me. I was seriously over thinking this. The teacher brought me out of my inner thoughts when he handed my slip back to me, gave me my textbook and told me to go sit in the only available seat.

I'm glad the teacher, Mr. Angel, didn't make me introduce myself to the class. He at least had some compassion. I could tell we were going to get along very well.

I kept my eyes down as I made my way over to sit next to him, in the process I managed to stumble over a book but was able catch myself on the table. The girls at that table started to laugh at me. I continued on towards my new desk and lab partner.

I didn't look up as I set my book down on the table and took my seat, but I saw his posture change from the corner of my eye. He moved further away from me, as far as the desk would allow. Wow that was a bit extreme, not that I really cared I mean it's good he isn't the overly get to know you wanna be right up on you type of guy but then again I was just well average. I sniffed my hair, I know I didn't wash it last night but it still smelled like my favourite shampoo, strawberry. Ok remind me again why I care, it's not like I'm looking for a boyfriend or anything. I definitely do not ever want to go there again. So do not want to think about that here. I moved so that my hair was creating a curtain between us and I tried to pay attention to the teacher.

To my dismay the lecture was actually on something that I had previously studied in Phoenix. I still took notes and doodled on my book. I never looked up, keeping my eyes on my book.

I still occasionally looked at him he seemed really stressed out and it must have been about something else, it couldn't be me and the fact that I was now his lab partner could it. If it was it seems like a trivial thing.

During the class I had enough of a chance to look at him more closely. He had the long sleeves of his blue shirt pushed up to his elbows and he was surprisingly muscular. Compared to his brother, he didn't look that muscular but I was probably because his brother was huge.

For some reason this class seemed to drag on and I don't know if it was due to having already studies it or the fact that Edward never really seemed to relax during the whole class. Maybe it was just that it was almost the end of the day and classes tended to really drag at the end of the day, well that is what I have noticed anyway.

I wondered if this was his normal behaviour, I mean I hope it wasn't or else the rest of the year would not go well. I questioned my judgement on Jessica's bitterness towards him at lunch today. Maybe she was not as resentful as I'd thought. Maybe this is how he acted towards everyone. She did say that he only talked to his family and his team mates. Maybe he was a jock that was too good for everyone else.

I looked at him one last time, and I think I regret it. He didn't look happy, kind of like he was in pain or getting electrocuted. Why was he so hostile towards me I hadn't even spoken to him. I honestly don't care.

At that moment, the bell rang, making me jump – I wasn't expecting it. As soon as the bell rang Edward collect his belongings quickly and was out the door before I had even zipped up my bag.

I sat in my seat frozen for a moment, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. I couldn't explain it. Before I could get any further with my thought process I was interrupted.

"Aren't you Isabella Swan?" a male voice asked.

I looked up to see a cute, baby-faced boy, his pale blonde hair carefully gelled into orderly spikes, smiling at me in a way that was more than just friendly. Oh no, are you serious. In Phoenix no one cared about me and I could go on about me day as if I didn't exist but here it was like I was fair game.

"Bella," I corrected him automatically.

"I'm Mike" He replied back all too eagerly.

"Hi, Mike."

"Do you need any help finding your next class? I could help you."

Oh great overly helpful but in a creepy way.

"Um I'm headed to gym, actually, but don't worry I can find it." There maybe that would deter him.

"Hey you know what, that's my next class too." Great he seemed like that was the best thing that has happened to him all year. Mind you it didn't seem like much of a coincidence considering the school was so small.

We walked to class together; he was a chatterer – he supplied most of the conversation, which made it easier for me but I honestly didn't want to talk to him and I certainly did not want him to think anything of this – not that this was something. I found out literally almost his life story. He was from California and lived there until he was 12, so he knew how I felt about the sun. It turned out that he was in another one of my classes, English. He was nice enough but maybe a little too nice and friendly.

As we walked into the gym, he asked "So, what did you do to Edward Cullen? Did you like murder his kitten or stab him with a pencil or something?"

I cringed . So that obviously wasn't the only one who had noticed. And, apparently, that wasn't Edward Cullen's normal behaviour. I decided to play dumb..

"Was that the boy I sat next to in Bio?" I asked.

"Yeah that would be him." He said. "He looked like he was in pain or something."

"I have no idea." I responded. "I didn't even speak to him so I don't know what his problem was."

Why did I have to be the cause of his unusual behaviour. I mean was it that obvious.

"He is a weird guy. He sometimes acts like that around the other girls but not that bad really. I mean that yeah was weird hey." Mike lingered by me instead of heading to the dressing room. "You know if I had been the lucky guy to have sat next to you I definitely would have talked to you."

I smiled at him before walking through the girls' locker room door. He was too friendly and clearly admiring. I mean really just because I was new meat didn't mean that I would date him or anything. He didn't even ask if I had one but even if I did, which I don't, I so would not date him. He is kind of creepy weird.

The gym teacher, Coach Jackson, found me a uniform but didn't make me dress down for today's class, for that I was grateful. My bruises were still there and well I didn't have an undershirt on to hide them and I didn't want the other girls to see them or question me about them. In Phoenix, only two years of PE were required but just my luck PE was mandatory for all four years. Forks was literally my personal living hell on earth. I wish there was some way to get out of it but what I have no idea.

I watched four volleyball games running simultaneously. Remembering all the injuries I had sustained and inflicted playing volleyball. I was lucky that the Coach didn't make me play I honestly don't think I would have been able to handle it.

Finally my saviour, the bell, rang. I walked slowly to the office to return my paperwork. The rain had drifted away, but the wind was still strong and it was remarkably colder. I wrapped my arms around myself and winced as my ribs started to hurt.

I finally made it to the office, which thankfully was nice and warm, but that was short lived. There standing at the counter was the one and only Edward Cullen and I almost turned around and walked straight back out. Seriously could my day get any worse – ok let's not answer that one.

He didn't notice me arrive. I stood face away from him as the small office would allow, I was still debating whether or not I should just walk out and come back once he had left. I decided to wait for the receptionist to be free, as I didn't want to wait out in the cold.

Edward seemed to be arguing with the receptionist. Wow he has a really nice, attractive voice. Ok now where did that come from. I quickly caught the jist of his conversation or more like argument. He was trying to change classes, Biology none the less, to any other time.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing, this so couldn't be about me. Something had to have happened before I can into the classroom, right, I mean I'm not so self absorbed that I would like it was about me but yeah weird. He must be upset about something else. It was impossible for me, a complete stranger, to have done something – he couldn't hate me, when he doesn't even know me. If anything I should be able to hate everyone here and be able to get away with it considering. I should be that one that doesn't trust or want to have a male lab partner, but that would involve telling people and that I could not do – not now and not ever. It was best forgotten, ha easier said than done.

Suddenly another girl came into the office and bumped into me. I almost have a panic attack, I jumped and held onto myself. I can't freak out here, it was innocent enough. She didn't mean to. She apologised and put her note into the basket and walked out.

But of course that meant that Edward Cullen now knew that I was here as he turned around to see the commotion then he quickly glared at me – his face was absurdly handsome – then he turned back to the receptionist.

"Never mind then," He said hastily in a voice much like velvet. "I can see that it's impossible. I'll just have to deal with it then. That you so much for all of your help." And with that he turned without looking at me and walked out the door.

I went meekly to the desk, my face white for once instead of red, and handed in my slip that all my teachers had signed.

"How did your first day go, dear?" the receptionist asked.

"Fine" I lied, my voice week. She really didn't look convinced but I, at that moment didn't really care.

When I finally made it to my truck, it was almost the last on in the lot. It seemed like a little haven, already the closest thing to home I had in this god forsaken damp little hell hole called Forks. I sat inside for a while, just staring out the windshield blankly, replying the day in my head. I mean most of the students were ok. Yes Jessica seemed kind of fake, Mike was plain creepy and I would try to either stay away from him or give him the hint that nothing more than friendship was ever on the table, Eric seemed nice enough and well Angela, I didn't really know about her we hadn't really talked or anything. Soon it started to get cold and needed to turn the heater on, so I decided to head back to Charlie's, I however was frighting tears the whole way there.


	5. Chapter 4: Edward No Show

**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>: Edward No Show

When I got home I pulled my truck into the driveway and headed inside. The weather started to get worse and I was glad that I was finally home. Yes I am aware that I am calling Forks home, and well it is for now at least. Charlie wasn't back yet, he wasn't due home until 6pm. So I was left to my own devises. I went to double check the lock on the door, I was a bit paranoid about it. Once I checked the door again, I decided to head upstairs and get started on my homework. It's not like I have anything else to do and the teachers were just mean giving homework to the new student on the first day. Lucky I didn't have anything better to do.

I pulled myself up the stairs, they were going to get old and quick, in Phoenix our house was single story – this was going to get some getting use to, I already see a love hate relationship developing here. I wonder how long it will be before I manage to trip up or down them, knowing me I'd trip down them and break my leg or something.

Once I got to my room I threw my things on the bed and pulled out my books. I noticed that it was a little too quiet. I pulled out my old cd player that was shoved at the back of my cupboard and found my cds. I had only brought a few with me, not that I had a large collection or anything. I pulled out my Paramore cd and put on my favourite song, Decode. While that was playing I started on my homework.

I lost track of time and next thing I knew there was a loud banging on the front door and Charlie was yelling. Oh yeah that's right I locked the door from the inside using all the locks which meant Charlie was now stuck outside, crap. I quickly yelled that I was coming and ran down the stairs to let him in. I'm surprised that I didn't face plant the ground on my way down.

Once I did that Charlie looked at me with a weird expression. It was a mixture of worry, confusion and fear. Probably wondering why in this backwards town that I felt the need to lock the door.

"Bells why did you lock the place up like Fort Knox?" He inquired.

"Um I don't know ... Um I normally do in Phoenix I just forgot I guess." Crap I kind of stumbled my way through that explanation.

Charlie just looked at me, probably debating whether or not to believe me.

"Ok well it's Forks Bells, and I'm Police Chief I doubt anyone would want to break in or be stupid enough to try it."

I just nodded. Charlie continued through to the living room. He turned the TV on to some game, then he glanced at me and then changed it to some comedy that was on. I wasn't too fussed at watching TV.

"Bells you good with bacon and eggs for dinner?"

"Yeah sure, sounds good."

I don't mind bacon and eggs but really, for dinner. I wonder how good Charlie's cooking skills are, I can't really remember.

Charlie wandered into the kitchen and proceeded to make dinner, or um breakfast. I decided to stay in the living room, I didn't really feel like making small talk. I'd save that for dinner. I continued to watch TV while Charlie cooked, eventually he called me into the kitchen. I proceeded to get us drinks and set the table while Charlie served dinner.

During dinner we made small talk. Charlie asked about my day and I gave him most of the details leaving out the information about Edward and his behaviour, didn't really seem like a necessary detail to tell him. I asked Charlie about his cooking skills, and found out that what we had for dinner tonight was the extent of his knowledge on cooking. I informed him that I was the one who cooked when I lived with Renee, he seemed somewhat sceptical of me taking over the cooking duties but he relented, eventually. I wondered if he remembered Renee and her cooking skills, maybe that was why he was so reluctant to let me cook.

Soon after dinner I excused myself to go have a shower. I decided to shower early tonight so I could wash my hair. So I quickly grabbed my pyjamas and headed to the bathroom. I turned the water on and took off my clothes and threw them in the hamper. Yeah my ribs still hurt like crazy but I was starting to not notice them as much. I jumped in and quickly showered.

Once I was finished I quickly dried and got dressed. Blow drying my hair was going to take a while, I guess that's what I get for having thick hair. Wow it was cold, I wonder if it was better having a shower in the morning or in the night. After what felt like a lifetime I was finished.

I suddenly decided to look through the cupboard to see what I could make for dinner tomorrow night. I was honestly surprised what I found in the cupboards, well lack of what I found. Charlie's cupboards were poorly stocked to say the least. So I grabbed the notepad near the phone and proceeded to make a list of items that I would need.

Once I finished my list I decided to say goodnight to Charlie now and use an excuse of homework to stay in my room. Charlie didn't seemed fazed by me wanting to spend time in my room, much in part to my homework excuse. He was probably happy that he could watch some sports game on TV.

I had done all of my homework but truth be told I didn't know what to say to Charlie or really how to make a conversation with him. I know he is my Dad and all but we really haven't spent much time together, don't get me wrong I love him and all but I am still getting use to being here. So with nothing to do I decided to read a book. I just picked up some random thing that was closest, it happened to be my much abused copy of Wuthering Heights.

I don't remember falling asleep but I must have at some point because the next thing I hear is Charlie banging on my door telling me to get up and that he is leaving for work. What is with that man and banging on doors, seriously. Wait he said he is leaving. I quickly rolled over to check my clock, oh no. I was so running late.

I honestly don't know how I managed to get out of the door and to school in time but I did. I managed to grab a cold pop tart on my way out too. I normally didn't sleep in but the past week and a half I haven't been sleeping well. I guess it finally caught up to me.

I had a feeling that today was going to be better but also had a nagging feeling that it was going to get worse before it got better.

It was better because well, when I walked out the door it wasn't yet raining. However it did look like it might rain eventually. I drove up to the school and parked in a vacant spot and had to run to my first class in order not to be late.

My first class was English and of course Mike came to sit with me, I tried not to encourage him and sat as far from him as the desk could allow. This reminds me of Edward and his behaviour towards me. English passed without anything too interesting happening besides Mike trying to talk to me and pass notes. He walked me to my next class, even though he didn't have it, Chess Club Eric was glaring at him the whole time, which was somewhat annoying. Seems I'm somewhat of a novelty at the moment.

I noticed that the other students didn't quite look at me or stare as much as they had the first day. Which was better, I hate people looking at me. My other classes that morning went on much the same. In Trig Mr. Schofield called on me when my hand wasn't raised and of course I wasn't really paying attention so I got the answer completely wrong. For the rest of that class I made sure to pay attention in case Mr. Schofield called on me again. Luckily I was saved by the bell. I swiftly gathered my books and headed towards the cafeteria.

On my way Jessica caught up to me and decided to walk with me to the cafeteria. I tried not to look at his table, why was I thinking about him anyway. He was completely rude to me yesterday for no reason. However I still looked over, he wasn't there but his family was, maybe he was running late or something. The pixie looking one met my eyes and smiled at me before the other girl threw something at he, she looked kind of pissed – the blonde one. Seriously I had been worried all day for this moment, and he wasn't even here I got myself worked up for nothing. I don't even know why I care. I shouldn't.

I just wanted to know what his problem was. While I was reading, or not reading last night, I contemplated what I would say to him. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind, who was I kidding, I know I wouldn't have done that. I didn't have enough courage or guts to.

Mike of course found us and steered us to his table. Jessica seems pleased at this, maybe she likes him or just likes the attention. Oh well she can definitely have the attention. A few of Jessica's friends joined us then. It was actually a big group that eventually sat down, which wasn't like me but they were nice enough. There was Mike, Eric, Jessica and several other students' that I really didn't know or remember their names.

I suppressed a sigh. For some reason I still felt like I was drowning, not even treading water. I didn't want to be here, well in a perfect world I'd be in Phoenix and getting on with my life. I wonder if I will ever feel as if I am treading water instead of drowning in my life.

I tried to be nice and pay attention to the conversation that was going on at the table but my mind was still on Edward. Why did he invade all my thoughts, it wasn't right nor was it normal. I mean especially after everything I've been through why would a guy capture my attention like that. It wasn't that I liked him, no definitely not, it was the way he acted towards me. I wanted to know why. For some reason I was nervous and uncomfortable waiting for the moment he would walk in. I hoped that maybe he was having a bad day yesterday and that's all it was and he took it out on me maybe. Hopefully he would just ignore me and prove that I was just reading way too much into the situation. But that is just me though. I tend to over-think and over-analyse everything. Probably a bad trait I had but never the less I couldn't stop it, it was a habit and habits are hard to break.

He never did come to the cafeteria for lunch, but as the time passed I got more and more tense waiting for that moment that he would walk through those doors.

I walked to Biology, still slightly on edge but with a little more confidence, he didn't show at all during lunch so maybe he wasn't here. Mike, who was starting to take on the qualities of a golden retriever, walked faithfully by my side to class. Finally we were at the door and for some reason I held my breath, but Edward Cullen wasn't there, maybe he did have the day off. He could be sick or something right. Finally I exhaled and walked to my table oh but of course Mike had to follow me. God another thing that is going to get old and fast, Mike and his puppy dog attributes. Mike was chatting away, little did he know I wasn't really paying attention. Although I did catch something about a beach trip, really a beach trip in this weather, is he crazy. He stayed at my desk a little too long for my liking, once the bell rang he reluctantly went to his own table. Before he left however he smiled at me and nodded, ok now he is just plain creepy weird. He was seated next to some girl that had a really bad perm job and braces.

Honestly it was looking like I was going to have to do something about Mike, and somehow I don't think it was going to go over very easy. I mean the town is small for Christ sake, everyone knows everyone else and well diplomacy was essential to your survival here – especially since it seemed like Jessica had a thing for him. I wonder if he figured this out or maybe he was just blind to how girls act. You know I am not really that tactful, not that I have had guys like me or anything, oh well except one but he was, no still is, a basket case but I so did not know he was at the time. I no practice what so ever in dealing with overly friendly boys, maybe I could get Charlie to scare him – um no on second thought that would be bad.

I was actually relieved that I had the desk to myself, and that Edward was absent. I repeatedly told myself this. For some reason I couldn't get rid of this stupid nagging feeling I had that somehow it was my fault that he wasn't here but honestly how could that be. Argh it's kind of ridiculous, and egotistical, of me to think that I was the reason. It really impossible but for some reason I couldn't shake the feeling.

Biology actually went rather fast, surprisingly, maybe it was due to the fact that I didn't have someone next to me acting weird. Now it was gym. Oh my favourite subject in the world. I changed quickly, luckily I had a single shirt on underneath so no one could see my bruises. I had to play volleyball today. I managed to stay away from the ball most of the time but the one time when I wasn't fast enough, I accidently hit my teammate in the back of the head with it. I blushed a bright red and apologised. Me and sports do not mix, I mean come one world what else can you throw at me. You have already screwed my life up enough already why do you insist on torturing me. I so am going to throw my own pity party tonight. I definitely need some chocolate.

Once class was over I quickly changed back into my jeans and navy blue sweater. I hurried from the girls' locker room, I was extremely please to know that I had missed my puppy dog friend, well at least for now. I walked swiftly out to the parking lot. It was crowded now with students hastily trying to get out of school grounds. I opened my door and quickly got in. I looked through my bag to double check that I had what I needed.

Last night when I found out the extent of Charlie's cooking skills or lack thereof, I decided to take over cooking and shopping duties for the duration of my stay. Since I noticed that Charlie had no food what so ever in the cupboards, I made a shopping list last night and was on my way to the local Thriftway.

I gunned my engine to life, ignoring the heads that looked my way, and backed carefully into a place in the line of cars that were waiting to exit the parking lot. As I waited, I saw the two Cullen's and the Hale twins getting into their car. Of course, I thought, it was the Volvo. I hadn't really paid too much attention to how they dressed before – I'd been too stunned by their faces. Now that I had the time, it was obvious that they were all dressed exceptionally well; simply, but in clothes that looked somewhat designer maybe – not that I paid too much attention to what designer labels are or anything. Really they could have walked around in potato stacks and still look amazing. It seemed a bit excessive for them to have both the good looks and money to boot. But really life generally worked that way, you either had it all or nothing, I don't think there was an in-between.

But really I don't think they used this to their advantage or anything. I hadn't seen them interact with other students yet, only their family. Obviously their money and good looks didn't get them any acceptance here. On second thought I guess they could use it if they wanted to, I mean Jessica seemed the type to just like someone for superficial or material things. Maybe they like being isolated.

They looked at me, of course, when I passed them. The blonde one glared, the pixie smiled and the two guys well it was hard to determine what their expressions were, somewhere between compassion and contempt. It was a weird combination really.

I quickly turned my eyes back to the car in front and I was extremely relieved when I was finally free of the school grounds.

The Thriftway was not that far from the school, just a few streets south, off the highway. It didn't take long to locate it. It was actually nice to be inside the supermarket; it actually felt somewhat normal. I did the shopping back in Phoenix, Renee couldn't shop for groceries to save herself and would always come back with items that you had no idea what to do with. I fell back into the routine of shopping quite easily, it was somewhat comforting. The store was big enough that I couldn't hear the tapping of the rain on the roof to remind me that I was in fact in Forks and not Phoenix. I am actually very efficient shopper, in and out getting the items that are on my list. Maybe I did sneak a few extra things in there for me. I packed the trolley with the items and went to the check out. I had just enough money to pay for everything I purchased. I hurried to load all the items into my truck, the rain seems to pick up at the worst times, then I ran around to the drivers' side and swiftly jumped in. It didn't take long to get back home. Didn't seem to take long to get anywhere in this town, I swear you could drive from one end to the other in under 15 minutes.

When I got home, I unloaded all the groceries, stuffing them in wherever I could find an open space, there really wasn't much space. I hoped that Charlie wouldn't mind. One day if I get bored enough, which probably won't take long, I'll rearrange the cupboard and go through everything. Honestly there really wasn't much in the cupboard in the first place, I figured as much seen as how Charlie hardly ever cooked. I'm surprised he has lasted this long without dying from starvation or lack of nutritional food. I decided that I might as well start dinner. So I wrapped potatoes in foil and stuck them into the oven to bake, covered the steaks in marinade and balanced it on top of the containers in the fridge.

When I finished that, I took my bag upstairs to my room. Before I started on my homework for the night I decided to change in some more comfortable clothes. So I found an old pair of sweats and pulled my hair up into a pony-tail. I moved towards my desk and noticed the computer sitting there. I forgot Charlie got that for me. I decided quickly to check my emails before starting my homework, it wouldn't take long. Probably only had emails from Renee.

Surprise surprise, I had four emails and guess who they were from, well three anyway. Renee she sent three emails in the space of like 2 days. The other email was from _him_and I immediately hit delete.

_"Bella" Renee wrote ..._

_ Write me as soon as you get in. Tell me how your flights were and the drive with your Dad._

_ Is it raining there? I miss you so much already baby girl. I've almost finished packing for _

_Florida, but I can't seem to find my pink blouse. Do you know where I put it? Oh Phil says hi too. _

_Love you _

_Mom._

I sighed and immediately went to read the next one. It was sent six hours after the first one.

"_Bella" she wrote ..._

_Where are you? Why haven't you emailed me yet? Are you alright? What are you waiting for? Did Charlie not get you a computer? He told me he was. Write back as soon as you read this._

_Love you_

_Mom_.

The last one was from this morning.

_"Isabella" she wrote ..._

_ If I have not heard from you by 6pm today I am going to call Charlie. _

_ Love you_

_Mom._

I checked the clock. I still had an hour until it was 6pm, but Renee was well known for jumping the gun. She was rather impatient.

_Mom,_

_ Calm down. I'm writing you right now. Don't do anything rash. _

_Bella_

I sent that, and began again.

_Mom,_

_Everything is great. Yes of course it is raining, it is Forks after all. I was waiting for something interesting to happen before I wrote you. If something was wrong then you would have heard from Charlie. School isn't bad, just a little repetitive. I met some other students, they seem nice enough and I sit with them at lunch._

_Your blouse is at the dry cleaners, remember you spilled something on it and needed to get it dry cleaned. You were meant to pick it up on Friday. _

_Did you know Charlie bought me a vehicle, can you believe it? I love it. It's nice and gets me around, don't think I would be able to drive around in the cruiser with Charlie. _

_I miss you too. I'll write again soon but I'm not going to check my emails every ten minutes. Relax, breathe and calm down. Tell Phil I said hi. I love you._

_Bella._

I decided to continue read Wuthering Heights – turned out we were studying that one at the moment in English. I've already read it like 100 times, that's what I was doing when Charlie came home, this time I didn't lock the place up like Fort Knox. I must of lost track of time, I couldn't have been reading for that long, obviously I did. I hurried downstairs to take the potatoes out and put the steak on. I really hope I didn't burn the potatoes now that wouldn't go down well, I told Charlie that I could cook after all.

"Bells?" Charlie called out, when he heard me on the stairs.

Like seriously who else would it be. I rolled my eyes –seriously he was weird sometimes.

"Hey, Dad, Welcome home."

"Thanks." He hung up his gun belt and stepped out of his boots as I hastily made my way to the kitchen to organise dinner.

As far as I was aware Charlie had never had to actually to shoot his gun on the job. However he did keep it ready just in case, although I honestly don't think that there was a reason to have the police carry guns in Forks. I guess he considered me old enough now not to shoot myself by accident, and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose. Maybe I should tell him to take the bullets out in case I get any ideas, not that I would but better to be safe than sorry right. I mean I have every right to be depressed after everything that happened. However I wouldn't be stupid enough to actually use Charlie's gun, it would literally kill my parents and I wasn't that selfish to make them suffer along with me.

"What's for dinner?" He asked warily, interrupting my thought process.

My mother was an imaginative cook, and well her "experiments" as she liked to call them, I referred to them as "disasters" – honestly they were – they were never really edible. I was surprised somewhat and sad that Charlie still remembered but I guess that's something that one would not forget after tasting her creations.

"Steak and potatoes," I answered, and he looked relieved more than anything.

He seemed to feel awkward standing in the kitchen doing nothing; he lumbered into the living room to watch TV while I worked. We were both more comfortable that way, we really didn't need to always make conversation but sometimes it did get awkward. I started to make a salad as the steaks cooked, and set the table.

I called Charlie once dinner was ready, and he sniffed appreciatively as he walked into the room. He was obviously satisfied with my efforts.

"Smells good, Bells."

"Thanks"

We ate in silence for a few minutes. As I said it wasn't really uncomfortable. Neither of us was bothered by the quiet. In some ways, we were well suited for living together. He wasn't like Renee, she would have to constantly talk and ask a million questions about my day. That's one reason why I couldn't stay with her anymore. Sooner or later she would have noticed my behaviour and asked a million questions until I answered her and eventually I have no doubt that I would have.

"So, how did you like school? Have you made any friends?" He asked as he went for seconds. Hmm ok maybe he might ask 20 questions but then again it is probably a normal question to ask especially since I was just starting school.

"Well, I have a few classes with a girl named Jessica. I sit with her friends at lunch. And these's think boy, Mike, who's very friendly. Everybody seems pretty nice." Well there is one very outstanding exception, although I decided to leave out that minor detail. He really didn't need to know that.

"That must be Mike Newtown. Nice kid – nice family. His Dad owns the sporting goods store just out of town. He makes a good living off all the backpackers who come through here."

"Do you know the Cullen family?" I asked hesitantly, maybe Charlie can give me some insight into the Cullen's.

"Dr. Cullen's family? Sure. Dr. Cullen's a great man."

"They .. the kids .. are a little different. They don't seem to fit in very well at school."

Charlie actually surprised me by looking a little angry.

"People in this town," he muttered. "Dr. Cullen is a great surgeon who could probably work anywhere in the world and make a hell of a lot more money than he does here in Forks," he continued, getting a little louder and angrier. "We are damn lucky to have him here. Not many wives would like to live in a small town especially when their husband could work at any hospital. He is a great asset to our community, and their kids well they are extremely well behaved. I was a bit worried you know, since there were 5 of them, thought they might cause problems but no. I haven't heard a peep out of them, never had any trouble with them. The two of the boys actually play for the school teams, one I think is the captain of the baseball team and the other plays football. They all seem very mature, Dr Cullen and his wife raised wonderful law abiding kids. They are very polite. That's a lot more than I can say for some of the locals, whose families have lived here for generations. That family sticks together as a family should. They do things together all the time, camping trips and all that. People in this small town just have to talk and start rumours just because they are newcomers."

Wow, I was a little shocked, that was the longest speech ever that I have heard Charlie say. He must feel strongly about whatever people were saying. I quickly back pedalled. I didn't want Charlie to think I was like everyone else.

"They all seemed ... um nice enough to me. I just noticed that they kind of keep to themselves. They're all very um attractive looking." I added, trying to be more complimentary, Charlie seemed to like the Cullen's.

"Yeah, well you should see the doctor," Charlie said, laughing. "It's a good thing that he is a happily married man. A lot of the nurses at the hospital have a hard time concentrating on their work with him around."

We lapsed back into silence as we finished eating our dinner. Charlie cleared the table while I started on the dished. He went back to the TV, and after I finished washing the dishes but hand – no dishwasher – I went upstairs unwillingly to work on my math homework. I could feel a tradition in the making – my nights spend alone in my room doing homework.

I went through my normal routine, showering and homework before bed. That night it was actually quiet. I tossed and turned a little before settling down and falling asleep.

The rest of the week was very uneventful. I got use to the routine of my classes, new my timetable off by heart. By Friday I was able to recognise, if not name, almost all the students at the school – that's what you get when you go to a small school. In gym, the other students knew not to pass me the ball and to step in quickly if the ball was coming my way. The other team soon caught on and tried to use this to their advantage. I was happy to let them take over and I stayed out of their way as much as possible.

Each day that passed I waited to see if Edward would come back to school. He never did, which was somewhat weird. The rest of the Cullen's were there, they still all looked at me the same way. The pixie smiling, the blonde glaring at me and the boys well I gave up trying to figure out what their expressions were. Once I was satisfied that he wasn't going to walk into the cafeteria I joined into the conversations at lunch. Mostly everyone was talking about the beach trip to La Push Beach in two weeks that Mike was organising. I was of course invited, and had agreed to go but really beaches were meant to be hot and dry. I felt bad if I had said no so I just agreed it was easier than saying no.

By Friday I was comfortable entering my Biology class, no longer worried that Edward would be there. For all I knew, he had dropped out of school – but why were his brothers and sisters still here. I tried not to think about him, but I couldn't totally suppress the worry that I was responsible for his continued absence, ridiculous as it seemed. I knew I couldn't be responsible ... I mean how could I, he didn't even know me!

For some reason thinking about Edward and why he wasn't at school made me forget the reason for me moving here. It was weird, but I welcomed it anything to make me focus on anything than what happened. I don't care if it was something trivial, like why some boy I don't know isn't at school. It made me wonder why I was so caught up on it. Honestly I had no idea and that's why I was so focused on it. I know I over analyse everything but I couldn't work this out. Maybe I could clear my head with some distance from school, I had the weekend to clear my thoughts.


	6. Chapter 5: First Weekend In Forks

**A/N. Here is Chapter 5. Please review and let me know what you think. I have chapter 6 done and am currently working on chapter 7. **

**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5:<strong> First Weekend In Forks

I woke up Saturday morning, early - what a waste of a sleep in. I tossed and turned all night not really getting a decent amount of sleep. I don't know if there was just one reason why I couldn't sleep, between the whooshing of the wind, the rain on the roof or my endless nightmares – well between them all I couldn't get into a deep sleep.

I was just laying in bed, at 7am on a Saturday morning, wide awake looking at the ceiling analysing the past week. It had been somewhat interesting and weird to say the least. My life was now completely different than when I was in Phoenix. I don't know if I'm happy about it or even if I've done the right thing but I've made my choice and now I need to deal with how life unfolds here. Don't think anything too interesting or out of the ordinary would happen in a place like Forks, which is an extremely pleasant change from Phoenix.

So school wasn't too bad, the teachers are nice enough and the other students were, well nice and some were are little too helpful. There was one exception to all of this, Edward, I am still paranoid that it has something to do with me – why he isn't at school. I have friends here, I could call them that I do sit with them at lunch. In Phoenix I really kept to myself and didn't really have a group of friends or anything, they all seemed somewhat fake as well. If you take out the Edward situation and well Mike as well school is ok.

Living with Charlie is actually great. I was worried that it might be weird or awkward but it wasn't. Charlie was hardly ever here and when he was he was watching TV, doing work stuff or asleep. He generally left early and got home right before dinner, honestly I hardly ever saw him.

I honestly never want to go back to Phoenix again, too many bad memories. Small things remind me of what happened, even here in Forks. I almost lost it a few times in school when Mike would get too close and one of the students that sits near me in Trig wears the same cologne, it makes my skin crawl. I actually spent the first week in Phoenix, after, hardly ever leaving the house, I think Renee thought I lost it. Which I think I somewhat did and have to a certain extent. I only made it half a day at school before I completely freaked out and had to go home. I knew that I couldn't stay there anymore, I mean if I couldn't leave the house and Renee would get suspicious and ask questions. I couldn't deal with that. I just wanted to forget, I didn't want anyone's pity or people feeling sorry for me. I knew that Charlie wouldn't notice, he doesn't really know me that well and he wasn't use to the way that I act so how would he know if something was wrong. I could hide my pain here a lot easier.

I rolled over and looked at the clock, wow it was now 9am, I didn't think I was laying here that long. I needed to get up and get moving, no need to keep wallowing. Nothing is going to change what happened, oh what I would give to turn back time. I forced myself to get up and get the day started.

I got dressed in old sweats, I didn't think I would leave the house today. I had noticed that the house was in desperate need of a really good clean. I walked down the stairs and noticed that Charlie wasn't here, he said something about going into work. Honestly did he ever not work, I guess he was use to being single and living alone – not needing to worry about his daughter.

I grabbed a quick breakfast, just some cereal. I wasn't really in the mood to make anything more involved. Washed my dishes and put them away. It really was quiet here, not like Phoenix. It just made me more aware of how far away from my life I was, well my old life.

I decided that it was time to start cleaning this house up a bit. I went into the laundry room and found a bucket and cleaning products. I thought I might as well start in the bathroom. I don't know how long I spent cleaning, the house looked like it hadn't been cleaned properly in forever. I managed to get all the cleaning done in about a few hours, cleaned it from top to bottom literally. I think I inhaled a little too much cleaning product as well.

Once I finished with the cleaning, I changed into a pair of jeans and a sweater and decided to go out to get some lunch. I drove around until I found the little bakery that was nestled in between the library and the post office. I finished my lunch and decided that I'd check out the library. Maybe I could see if they have any good books, considering there wasn't much too do here I could catch up on some reading.

Turns out the library was a waste of my time, well not really it kept me occupied for oh about 10 minutes. It was extremely poorly stocked. My own collection seemed better than theirs. I didn't even bother to get a card for the damn place, so wasn't worth it. I decided that if I was spending annoyingly large amounts of time in this small town that I would eventually need new reading materials so I guess I might just have to make a trip to Olympia or Seattle sooner rather than later if I wanted to keep what little sanity I had left.

The afternoon was unproductive on my part. I couldn't be bothered to actually do any homework, I still had Sunday to do that. Not that it would actually take long to do or anything, might need to actually drag it out. So the rest of Saturday afternoon consisted of watching TV and organising dinner. I figured I'd make a casserole for dinner.

Dinner passed quickly. Charlie informed me that he would be going fishing tomorrow, did this man honestly spend time in this house. I swear when he is here the majority of the time he is asleep. I excused myself after I cleaned the dishes and went upstairs to get ready for bed.

Sunday morning I actually woke up screaming. I had sweat pouring off of me. I looked around trying to figure out where I was. The nightmare seemed so real, it felt real. I shuddered at the thought. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die, really I did. Luckily Charlie must have left already or else I swear he would have barged in with his gun ready thinking someone was in the process of murdering me.

I decided to stay in my pyjamas it seemed like that sort of a day. I decided to do my homework and check my emails. I had a few from Renee. So I replied back to her. I was hoping that my depressed state wasn't coming through in the emails. I didn't want her to worry about me. To me they sounded cheerful, maybe too cheerful. I wonder if she will call me on it. I also wasted time on the computer searching random things on the internet. Need to do something to pass the time here.

Once there was nothing else to do I sat on my bed at 3pm staring at the wall. I literally was going to go insane. I didn't realise how quiet Forks was. I looked at the journal I brought with me. It was empty; I hadn't written a thing in it. Renee got it for me for my last birthday. I never felt the need to write in it, maybe I should start.

I sat there contemplating the thought for a while. I needed to somehow deal with what happened but I couldn't talk to anyone about it, maybe I could write it in my journal. Maybe at least if I am able to get it out I might feel better. I mean I couldn't feel any worse that is impossible. It's not like anyone else is going to see it. What the hell might as well use it for something.

* * *

><p><em>Ok so I don't know how to start this or even what to write. I moved to Forks to live with my Dad, Charlie, it wasn't that I was running away from my problems or not dealing with them. Ok so maybe that is a little lie. I couldn't stand being in Phoenix anymore. Too many reminders. I didn't want Renee to find out, although she knows something is up but it's not fair on her. I'm not the same girl anymore, I never will be. This has completely changed me and I don't like it. I should have realised sooner, I should have done something. Why didn't I see what was happening. I feel like an idiot, I'm smarter than this I should have realised. <em>

_I didn't know what he was like, he seemed nice enough, maybe too nice. I just didn't see what he was really like. I mean how stupid could I have been. Ever since he started coming to my school, looking back, he was just always there. Every time I turned the corner, went to my locker, at lunch or at the gate at the end of the day he was always waiting. It was kind of stalkerish, no it was stalkerish. I should have seen it, after all I am a police chief's daughter. _

_Honestly it seemed innocent enough. He was interested in me. The first guy to be really interested in me and he only wanted one thing. I never saw it. It was too good to be true, I mean who would be interested in me. I'm nothing special. Just average. But then again an easy target for him then. He must have seen it. He did all the right things though but looking back he there was always a creepy vibe about him. The way he would look at me sometime, it wasn't normal. The way he would always try to touch me or brush up against me. He tried to make it look like an accident but a few times it just I don't know didn't seem like an accident. _

_That day I remember like it was yesterday. It was a normal school day. The weather was nice, nothing compared to Forks. I walked to school, I always walked. He was there waiting for me at the gate as I got to school. I always thought it was weird that he always waited for me. He always tried to put his arm around me and I had gotten use to it and didn't try to shrug him off. He would get annoyed for some reason. The school day passed without anything too interesting happening. He sat with me at lunch, a little too close for my liking. Once the end of the day came around I walked out the school gates and he of course was waiting for me. He smiled at me and started to walk with me. He had never done that before. I asked him what he was doing and he said he wanted to walk me home. I at the time didn't think anything of it, but I knew deep down something was up. I mean he never walked me home. _

_I let him. That was stupid. He never had shown me any reason why I shouldn't trust him. I mean he had never tried anything. I didn't think anything of it. I know now I should have. _

* * *

><p>I jumped when heard the front door open and close I knew Charlie was home. He was gone most of the day, I was beginning to see a pattern here. He was gone first thing in the morning and back by dinner. Maybe he didn't like the reminders that this house held for him. Poor Charlie. I decided to finish writing this later. I didn't have to keep writing it all at once. I decided to hide it under my floor board. I have a loose one that I use to hide things in when I was a kid. No one would find it there. I quickly made my way down stairs to start dinner.<p>

All in all my weekend was extremely uneventful. Hey that's what you get when you have no friends. No friends equals no social life. I was use to it though so it really shouldn't bother me.

Sunday night I went to bed wondering if Edward Cullen would be at school on Monday. Part of me wished he would be so that I could prove that it wasn't my fault that he wasn't at school and part of me was worried about what would happen if he did come back. I mean would he still look at me that way, I did nothing to him. Well I guess I will find out tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 6: Edwards Return

**A/N Chapte 7 and 8 are almost done. Might upload Chapter 7 in the next day or two depending on when I get a change to edit it.  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6:<strong> Edwards Return

I woke up in a really bad mood. I don't know why, maybe it was because I didn't sleep well. I kept tossing and turning all night thinking about two things. It was weird. I had nightmares about what happened but then they would turn into dreams about Edward. It was somewhat confusing. I didn't know what to make of it and that's why I spent half of the night awake analysing my nightmare/dream. I went through the mundane task of getting ready for school.

The other students actually acknowledged me today when I got out my truck at school. That was a first. I didn't know half of their names, but of course being polite I tried to smile and wave back. I swear it was getting colder here, if that is even possible. Thank god it wasn't raining, well yet anyway.

The morning went by quickly. In English my retriever friend sat next to me, marking his territory. Not that I was his or anything but I did see Eric give him a look. I honestly didn't know what that was about. We had a pop quiz on Wuthering Heights. It was straightforward, very easy. I could probably almost retell the book in my sleep word for word.

All in all a "normal" school type day. I don't know there was something about this place. It made you feel as if nothing else existed outside of this town, which I don't know if it is a good or bad thing. However it was helping with the whole numbing and forgetting thing I had happening. I was feeling more comfortable here than I had felt in Phoenix, even before everything.

When we walked out of class, the air was full of swirling bits of white. I heard the other students shouting excitedly to each other as well as seeing a few students running.

"Wow," Mike said. "It's snowing. Hell yeah gonna have some fun with this later."

Well really point out the obvious there. I looked at the little cotton fluffs that were building up along the sidewalk and swirling past my face. Great it just had to snow here.

"Eww, great." I thought that I was going to be having a good day.

He looked somewhat surprised by my lack of enthusiasm. "What? Don't you like the snow? Oh come on it's great."

"No. That means that it is too cold for it to rain." Obviously. I so would take rain over snow any day of the week. "Besides, I thought that snow was meant to come down in flakes – you know, each one unique and all that. These just, well look like Q-tips."

"Wow snow isn't like that at all. Haven't you ever seen snow fall before?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah sure I have." I paused. "On TV." I mean that has got to count right. I mean I lived in Phoenix it's not like it ever snowed there. He would know that right, he can't be that stupid.

Mike started to laugh then. All of a sudden a big round white ball of snow slammed into the back of Mike's head. We both turned to see who threw it. I had a sneaking suspicion that it was Eric, who was walking away from us and away from his next class.

Mike apparently was up for a snow ball fight between classes. He bent over and started to make a snowball.

"I'll see you later Mike." I quickly keep walking towards my next class. " Once people start throwing wet stuff I go inside."

He just nodded, not really paying attention. He was more worried about Eric.

Throughout the rest of the morning, everyone chatted about the snow; apparently it was the first snowfall of the New Year. I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want the others to know about my dislike for the snow, that would make me a target for their snowballs.

I walked alertly to the cafeteria with Jessica after Spanish. Snowballs were flying everywhere. I kept my binder in my hand in case I had to shield myself from the series of wet balls flying around. Jessica thought that I was hilarious, but something in my expression kept her from lobbing one at me herself. I made sure to walk swiftly but safely as possible, well for me anyway, to the cafeteria. I almost fell a few times but managed to steady myself just in time.

Mike caught up to use quickly, just as we were walking through the door to the cafeteria. He seemed pretty proud of himself. Laughing loudly and shaking his head to get the melting ice out of it. He and Jessica started up a very enthusiastic conversation about the snowball fights as we were waiting in line to buy our food. I glanced toward that table in the corner, just out of habit – which I had picked up over the last week. I don't know why I was in the habit of looking, it honestly was just an automatic thing that I did. You know how you just keep doing something and then you don't really even notice that you're doing anymore because you do it so much –well that is what it is like. I looked away quickly and then I couldn't believe it. I froze. I'm sure I counted right. There were now five people at that table now instead of four that I had been use to for the past week.

Jessica pulled on my arm, to get my attention. I jumped at little as I instantly pulled my arm back.

"Hello? Bella? Sorry I scared you. Jeez jumpy much. What do you want for lunch?"

I looked down; my ears were hot. I had no reason to feel self-conscious, I reminded myself. I hadn't done anything wrong. Oh crap Jessica noticed that I jumped, it was innocent, she just grabbed my arm. God Bella over-react.

"What's up with Bella?" Mike asked Jessica.

Yeah I'm standing right here don't ask me or anything.

"Nothing," I answered. "I'll just get a soda today." I caught up to the end of the lunch line.

"Aren't you hungry?" Jessica asked.

"Actually, I feel a little sick," I said, my eyes were still on the floor.

I waited for them to finish getting their food, and then followed them to our usual table, my eyes always stayed on my feet. I didn't want to look up to see him glaring at me.

I sipped on my soda slowly, my stomach churning. This so wasn't happening. What was I kidding he was still a student here and I knew he'd have to come back eventually. Twice Mike asked, with unnecessary concern, how I was feeling and if I was ok. I told him it was nothing, I was wondering if I could play it up a bit and escape to the nurse's office for the next hour. I mean no one would question it. I could do it if I wanted to and be a coward.

Who was I kidding this is ridiculous. I shouldn't have to run away and I'm being childish.

I decided to permit myself one glance at the Cullen Family's table. If he was glaring at me, I would skip Biology, like the coward I was. I kept my head down so that it didn't look like I was looking at them. Not one of the Cullen's were looking this way, which was different. Normally they would notice and glare at me, well except the pixie looking one.

They actually seemed happy, first time I have seen them like that since I came to this place. They were all laughing. All the boys had their hair entirely saturated with the melting snow from outside. The girls were leaning as far as they could away from them, especially since Emmett was trying to wet them with his hair. They must have been happy about the snow like everyone else was, well they did come from a place that was known for snow, Jessica did say they moved from Alaska or Canada.

Edward looked different. I don't know how to explain it. His facial expression looked happy but it didn't reach his eyes. It was like he was putting on a brave face for everyone. I wonder why.

"Bella what are you staring at?" Jessica inquired, her eyes following my stare, I thought I was being inconspicuously. Obviously not.

I dropped my head, and averted my line of sight.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," Jessica giggled into my ear. "Why is he staring at you?"

"He doesn't look angry does he? And how would I know I don't know him" I asked.

"No," she said, sounding confused by my question. "Why should he be? If you don't know him why would he be angry at you?"

"I don't know. I don't think he likes me." I confided. I felt queasy. I put my head down on my arm and kept thinking about not bringing up the soda I was currently drinking.

"The Cullen's really don't like anybody ... well, they don't notice anyone enough to like them. Except for their team mates, they talk to them. But he's staring at you. It's weird. Why would he be staring at you. I wish he would stare at me, I want him to I wouldn't mind."

"Stop looking at him," I hissed at her.

She snickered, but did as I asked. For which I was thankful. I didn't want him to know that I knew he was staring at me. What did it matter.

Mike interrupted us then – he was planning an epic battle of the blizzard in the school parking lot once class was out for the day. He of course was recruiting students for his team and wanted us to join. Jessica of course agreed, it wouldn't take much for her to agree to do anything with or for Mike. I kept silence, hoping that they would either forget about it by the end of the day or I could escape before anyone got to the car park.

For the rest of lunch I tried to listen into the conversation at our table and I would occasionally nod or mumble in agreement to whatever was being said, I also threw in a few "yeahs" and "ok".I decided to go to Biology, Jessica said he didn't look angry so there was nothing to be worried about – right. I wondered how he would act in class today. Hopefully class will pass quickly.

I didn't really want to walk to class with Mike as usual – never really wanted to walk with him in the first place – but today especially with all that snow, he seemed to be a target for everyone - probably because he started it first. My day was looking up when we walked out of the cafeteria but to the dismay of everyone else around the snow had melted. One time I am actually happy for it to rain. The rain was washing the snow away, not that it was covered in snow but hey it was enough for the students to make wet balls of snow to throw at people. I pulled my hood up, smiling to myself. Wow I am actually smiling, without it being forced. I wouldn't have to hide out or rush to be the first one to the car park at the end of the day.

Mike of course was so devastated that the snow was gone, I almost felt sorry for him. If he didn't complain about it all the way to the next class I might have.

Once we were safely inside the classroom, I saw with relief that my table was still empty. Mr Angel was walking around the room, placing a microscope and a box on each table. Class didn't start for another 3 or so minutes, and the room was buzzing with different conversations. I kept my eyes from the door, doodling idly on the cover of my notebook.

Then I heard it clear as day. The chair next to me scraped on the floor as it was being dragged back. I made sure not to look but to keep my eyes on the notebook in front of me and the pattern that I was creating.

"Hello," said a quiet, velvet voice.

I looked up, somewhat stunned and shocked, he was sitting as far as the desk would allow. Why is he speaking to me. Maybe it had nothing to do with me why he acted the way he did. I guess at least he is speaking to me. Why does it matter so much. He was watching me, he face was dazzling and he had a friendly expression, a slight smile on his perfect lips. But his eyes, something was wrong with his eyes. They looked guarded and distant but also held pain.

"My name is Edward Cullen," he continued on, I must not have responded quick enough, not much time had passed I thought. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

Ok did last week actually happen. Maybe my head was so screwed up or was it that I needed to focus on something else that I imagined the whole incident. What incident there wasn't an incident, he just didn't talk to me. He was nice enough now. Oh crap he was waiting. My mind was blank, still reeling from the new situation.

"Um how to you know my name?" I finally got out.

He laughed a soft, musical laugh.

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town knew you were coming and have been waiting for you to arrive. You have been the talk of the town."

I grimaced. I knew it was something like that. I wondered what else they had been discussing about my impending arrival. Small towns and gossiping, nothing ever goes unnoticed.

"Oh no really?" I asked. "Please tell me they haven't been talking about me"

He looked at me and seemed somewhat confused. "Yeah. They have been talking every since Chief Swan said you were coming. Why is that a problem?"

"No, no it's not a problem." I said. "But I just wonder what Charlie – I mean my dad – must have said about me," I tried to explain, but in the process felt like an utter moron. I didn't like people talking about me. I wonder what they thought about me.

"Oh don't worry." He said sweetly. "Nothing bad was ever said I promise, well that I heard anyway. It seemed that he is happy to have you here."

Before I could respond, Mr Angel started the lesson. I really did try to concentrate on what the lesson was about and the lab that we would be doing today. The slides in the box were out of order. We had to work together as partners and separate the slides, that contained onion root tip cells, into the phases of mitosis they represented and label them. We couldn't use our textbooks and we only had twenty minutes. Once he finished telling us what to do he left us to it.

"Ladies first, partner?" Edward asked. I glanced up to see him smiling a crooked smile, it took my breath away. Oh crap wait what. I don't think that about guys, what the hell.

"Or I could start first if you wish." His smile slowly started to fade, oh great now he thought I was an idiot.

"No," I said blushing a bright red. "I'll go first."

I really just wanted to show off a little. I had done this lab already in Phoenix, so I knew what to look for. Hopefully I would remember and it would be easy. I snapped the first slide into place under the microscope and adjusted it quickly to 40X objective. I studied the slide briefly. I was confident that I knew what it was.

"Prophrase." I stated.

"Do you mind if I take a quick look?" He asked as I was about to remove the slide. His hand came out to stop mine before I took the slide out. I jumped back and the contact. I almost actually fell off my seat. He looked at me for a moment, probably surprised by my reaction. It was simple and innocent enough but still I get a bit jumpy. I can't help it, it's kind of a reflex reaction I have these days. A defence mechanism I guess you could call it.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled as he continued to look through the microscope.

"Prophase." He agreed as he wrote it down on our worksheet. I noticed that his handwriting was extremely neat. He swiftly switched the slides, and then glanced at it cursorily.

"Anaphase," he murmured, writing it down on the worksheet as he spoke.

I was annoyed the he wrote it down without letting me look.

"May I?" I asked.

He smirked at me and pushed the microscope towards me. I looked through the eyepiece, hoping to prove him wrong. Boy was I disappointed.

"Slide three?" I held out my hand without looking at him. He handed it to me, when he did it seemed like he was trying not to touch me. I still flinched a little when he placed it into my hand, but I was expecting it so it wasn't as bad. I looked as swiftly as I could making sure I was right.

"Interphase." I passed him the microscope before he could ask for it. He took a brief look, then wrote it down. I would have written it but his writing was so much neater and elegant than my scribble. We finished quickly before the other students. I could see Mike and his partner switching slides numerous times. Another pair had the textbook under the table. Which left me nothing to do but to try not to look at him ... which I did unsuccessfully. I glanced up, and he was staring at me, which was kind of weird.

"What?" I asked him.

"Oh nothing." He replied and then looked away.

Mr. Angel came to our table then, to see why we weren't working. He looked over our shoulders to glance at the completed lab, then checked the answers.

"So, Edward, didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?" Mr. Angel asked.

"Bella," Edward corrected automatically. "Actually, she identified three out of the five." Edward stated.

Mr. Angel looked at me now; his expression was somewhat sceptical.

"Have you done this lab before?" He asked.

I smiled sheepishly. "Not with onion root."

"With whitefish blastula?"

"Um Yeah."

Mr Angel nodded. "You were in the advanced placement program in Phoenix." He stated.

"Yes."

He stood there looking at me for a moment. "Well I guess it's good than you two are lab partners then."

And with that he walked away. Once he left I resumed doodling on my note book, I had nothing else to do and it was somewhat distracting.

" It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?" Edward asked. I had the feeling that he was forcing himself to make small talk with me. Why was he even bothering, we could just sit here and not talk to each other. I mean he didn't talk to me my first day, so what is different about today.

"Not really," I answered honestly, instead of pretending to be normal like everyone else. For some reason I didn't feel the need to give to normal answers that I would just to please whoever I was talking too.

"You don't like the cold." He stated.

"Or the wet."

"Well then Forks must be a difficult place for you to live then. " He mused.

"You have no idea," I muttered under my breath.

He looked fascinated by what I said, for some reason I couldn't imagine. His face was such a distraction that I tried not to look at it any more than courtesy absolutely demanded.

"Why did you come here, then? I mean you must have known about the weather situation here and all."

No one had asked me that — not straight out like he did, demanding.

"It's… complicated." Well that is a freaking understatement of the century there Bella.

"I think I'm capable of keeping up," he pressed.

I paused for a long moment, and then made the mistake of meeting his gaze. His dark green eyes confused me, and I answered without thinking but only giving him an edited version.

"My mother got remarried," I said. Well it was true at least and it was part of the reason why I left, just not the main reason.

"That doesn't sound so complex you know," he disagreed, but he was suddenly sympathetic. "When did that happen?"

"Last September." My voice sounded sad, even to me, this wasn't normally me.

"And you don't like him," Edward surmised, his tone still kind.

"No, Phil is fine. Too young, maybe, but he's nice enough. He is good for her."

"Why didn't you stay with them?"

I couldn't fathom his interest, but he continued to stare at me with penetrating eyes, as if my dull life's story was somehow vitally important. Somewhat weird, but I guess he was just trying to make conversation to help pass the time.

"Phil he travels a lot. He plays baseball for a living." I half-smiled.

"Have I heard of him?" he asked, smiling in response. Oh yeah he is after all the baseball team captain so he is in to that and probably knows the pro teams and players. He definitely would not know Phil that is for sure and if he did that would be kind of weird.

"No, probably not, actually definitely not. He doesn't play well. Strictly the minor league. He has to move around a lot."

"Yeah you're probably right. I don't keep up with the minor league that much. And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him." He said it as an assumption again, not a question.

Damn him and his statements. It is somewhat annoying. My chin raised a fraction, he was so irritating coming to conclusions like that.

"No, she did not send me here. I sent myself." I replied back angrily. Where did he get off assuming that.

His eyebrows knit together. "I don't understand," he admitted, and he seemed somewhat frustrated by that fact.

I sighed. Why was I explaining this to him? He continued to stare at me with obvious curiosity. What could it hurt to just tell him, it's not like it matters to him. He will probably just forget it anyway. I don't want him to feel sorry for me.

"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him. It made her unhappy… so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie." My voice was glum by the time I finished.

"But now you're unhappy," he pointed out.

"And?" I challenged. What does it matter to him if I am unhappy. I am going to be unhappy no matter where I went. Here at least my mood goes well with the weather.

"That doesn't seem fair at all you shouldn't have to move just because you mother remarried." He shrugged, but his eyes were still intense.

I laughed without humour. "Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair." God don't I know that. Life seems to want to really screw with me this year. I wonder what else can go wrong for me.

"I believe I have heard that somewhere before," he agreed dryly.

"So that's all there is to tell," I insisted, wondering why he was still staring at me that way, hopefully my edited version was enough to satisfy him. He didn't need to know any more than that. I already had his pity because I moved here to let Renee move around with Phil, imagine what he would be like if I told him what happened, the real reason for me being here.

His gaze became appraising. "You put on a good show you know," he said slowly. "But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see."

I grimaced at him, resisting the impulse to stick out my tongue like a five-year-old, and looked away. How did he come to that conclusion, I didn't think I looked that sad. I mean I know I am but I thought I was doing a good job at hiding it. I must not be as good as I thought.

"Am I wrong?"

I tried to ignore him, this was getting annoying.

"I didn't think so," he murmured smugly.

"Why does it matter to you?" I asked, irritated. I was so mad at him for making that assumption, however right he was. I kept my eyes away, watching the teacher make his rounds. I knew if I looked at him I might get angrier or tell him more of my sad story.

"That's a very good question," he muttered, so quietly that I wondered if he was talking to himself. However, after a few seconds of silence, I decided that was the only answer I was going to get. I didn't care anyway. He was rather annoying. It was frustrating.

I sighed, scowling at the blackboard. I knew why I was angry.

"Am I annoying you?" he asked. He sounded amused.

I glanced at him without thinking… and told the truth again, why do I tell him the truth when he asks. "Not exactly. I'm more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read — my mother always calls me her open book." I frowned.

"On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read." Despite everything that I'd said and he'd guessed, he sounded like he meant it.

"You must be a good reader then," I replied.

"Usually." He smiled widely, flashing a set of perfect, ultra white teeth.

Mr. Angel called the class to order then, and I turned with relief to listen. I was in disbelief that I'd just explained some of my dreary, messed up life to this bizarre, beautiful boy who may or may not despise me. He'd seemed engrossed in our conversation, but now I could see, from the corner of my eye, that he was leaning away from me again, his hands gripping the edge of the table with unmistakable tension. What was with him? It must be something else that is bothering him. He actually talked to me and was nice enough.

I tried to appear attentive as Mr. Angel illustrated, with transparencies on the overhead projector, what I had seen without difficulty through the microscope. But my thoughts were unmanageable. I was trying to get rid of the nagging feeling that this situation somehow resembled what happened in Phoenix. I mean Edward watches me just like he did but I don't know it seems different somehow. My thoughts were interrupted by the bell.

Mike, of course, skipped quickly to my side and picked up my books for me. I imagined him with a wagging tail. Why is he picking up my books for me. Ok out of Edward and Mike, Mike is more like him – I mean in the way he follows me. Something to watch out for.

"That was awful," he groaned. "You know they all looked exactly the same. Why did he make us do that? You're lucky you had Cullen for a partner."

"I didn't have any trouble with it," I said, stung by his assumption. Where did he get off. I regretted the snub instantly. "I've done the lab before, though, in Phoenix," I added before he could get his feelings hurt. I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"Cullen seemed friendly enough today, talking to you and that," he commented as we shrugged into our raincoats. He didn't seem pleased about it, what did it matter to him. Did he have something against Edward.

I tried to sound indifferent. "I wonder what was with him last Monday, he seemed ok today, nice even."

I couldn't concentrate on Mike's chatter as we walked to Gym, he didn't do much to hold my attention, either. He liked to talk about himself too much. Mike was on my team today, great this was going to be interesting. He chivalrously covered my position as well as his own, so my woolgathering was only interrupted when it was my turn to serve; my team ducked warily out of the way every time I was up. I was glad when gym was over. I hated the class so much, mainly due to the fact that I have no coordination.

The rain was just a mist as I walked to the parking lot, but I was happier when I was in the dry front seat of my truck. I got the heater running, swear it was getting colder if that is at all possible. I unzipped my jacket, put the hood down, and fluffed my damp hair out so the heater could dry it on the way home. I didn't want to get sick and in Forks that somewhat was hard to escape with the weather being so cold and wet.

I looked around me to make sure it was clear. That's when I noticed Edward. Edward Cullen was leaning against the front door of the Volvo, three cars down from me, and staring intently in my direction. I swiftly looked away and threw the truck into reverse, almost hitting a rusty Toyota in my haste. Lucky for the Toyota, I stomped on the brake just in time. It was just the sort of car that my truck would make scrap metal of. I took a deep breath, still looking out the other side of my car, and cautiously pulled out again, with greater success. I stared straight ahead as I passed the Volvo, but from a peripheral peek, I would swear I saw him laughing. Great just all I need him laughing at me.

I couldn't wait to get home. Once I was home I set to work on dinner. For some reason I was really angry. I have no idea why. I think it could have something to do with him laughing at me. I wondered if he would say anything about it tomorrow. I think Charlie knew something was bothering me at dinner. He didn't try to make small talk, for which I was thankful. After the dishes were done I excused myself to go upstairs.

I got ready for bed, showering quickly and putting on my pyjamas. I had already done my homework when I got home so I decided to listen to some music. I laid down on my bed and I placed my ear buds in and closed my eyes. As soon as I closed my eyes I say Edwards face. Normally when I close my eyes I see his face, this was a nice surprise. Weird, but nice. Why am I thinking of Edward. It is like he is taking over my thoughts. I shouldn't be thinking about him. Why, it's weird. It's frustrating too. I can't figure out why I am so fascinated by Edward Cullen. It's not like he likes me and it's not like I like him. I don't, I know I don't. I mean I can't like him.

With that I pulled my ear buds out and placed them on the nightstand. I needed to sleep. All this thinking is giving me a headache. Maybe tomorrow will be different. I know that I needed to stop thinking of Edward Cullen.


	8. Chapter 7: Realisation

**A/N Here is the next chapter. I already have chapter 8 written and ready to post, will probably post it later in the week.  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 7:<strong> Realisation

I woke up Tuesday morning wondering what I would have to deal with at school today. Was I going to get nice Edward or non-talking Edward? I honestly didn't get much sleep last night and I really wasn't in the mood to deal with Edward if he was going to be a pain today. I quickly got up and dressed, I briefly looked out the window to see the weather, to my horror there was a thin layer of snow on the ground. Why did I have to move to the coldest, wettest place in the whole country? I decided to wear my favourite jeans and long sleeved blue shirt and threw on a sweater over the top. I looked at the clock and ran downstairs, I was running late. I grabbed a quick breakfast, toast and juice, and headed out to my truck. The drive to school was uneventful, as it always is.

When I got to school I parked quickly and jumped out. Edward and his siblings were already there. He was standing next to his car watching me. His sister, the pixie one, was standing next to him and she too was watching me. I think I'm starting to get a bit self conscious here. I shrugged it off and made my way to my first class.

The morning went without anything interesting happening. I was too tired to actually pay a lot of attention in class. Luckily I didn't get called upon to answer any questions. I was thankful the teachers seemed to ignore me. The other students talked to me throughout the morning briefly. Eric and Angela were nice and of course there was Mike. The morning did however seem to drag. Every time I looked at the clock it seemed that it had only been a minute since the last time I looked. It was rather annoying.

At lunch I sat at a table with a large group of students, something that I was still getting use to. I was use to either sitting alone or sitting with just one or two other students. Jessica really seemed to love the attention and tried to take most of it for herself, which I really didn't care. She could have all the attention. The Cullen's were there, of course. Edward and the Pixie kept looking at me during lunch. The blonde girl, I think her name is Rosalie, seemed really pissed off and at one point she glared at me and then stormed out of the cafeteria with the big bear one, Emmett I think his name was, following her. At that point I decided to not look at their table for the rest of lunch.

I decided it was time to make a move and head to biology. I got up and threw my rubbish in the bin and made my way to class. I of course got there before Edward, for which I was grateful. I sat down and started my usual doodling on my notebook waiting for class to start. Edward came in not too long after I did.

"Hello Bella" Edward's velvety voice said.

"Hi Edward." I replied.

"How are you today? Liking the snow?" He asked with a laugh.

"Um I'm good. Not really too fussed about the snow though. How are you?"

"I'm doing ok. Can't wait for the day to be over."

At that point Mr. Angel walked in and started class. It was weird this class actually seemed to go faster than the others. It was rather frustrating. As with the other classes today I didn't really pay attention and it wasn't because I was tired. It was because I was well aware that I was sitting next to Edward Cullen and I couldn't get my mind off him. Throughout the class Edward would look at me and a few times I caught him he instantly turned to face the front of the classroom again. Well at least he is talking to me. All too soon the class was over and Edward was out of his seat and out of the classroom before I had a chance to even collect my books.

For the rest of the day I was on auto-pilot going through the motions of class. In Gym it was the usual, I tried to stay away from the ball but that didn't happen, the other team seemed to aim for me. I managed to not hurt anyone but myself this lesson which was good. I was trying to figure out Edward Cullen, analysing his behaviour today. Then I'd get annoyed with myself because I shouldn't be worried about that. I had other things to deal with first. By the time I made it to my truck at the end of the day I had decided to not think about Edward Cullen or more like try not to. I needed to deal with my own stuff before I could even deal with him or try to figure out what his issue with me is.

I made my way home. I went through my usual routine – organising dinner and starting on my homework. I could see that this is what my life would be like for me here. Looking after Charlie and homework, I have no social life, not that I want one really. I am happy by myself. Prefer it even. I am much like Charlie. When Charlie finally got home I started cooking dinner. The rest of the night went quickly and before I knew it I was in bed staring at the ceiling.

I don't know how long I stared at the ceiling before I actually fell asleep but once I did it was a bad decision. I woke up I don't know how long after I fell asleep in a sweat. I just had the most vivid dream ever. I felt like I was back there. My dreams were getting more and more real, well to me they felt real, as if it was happening again. It was somewhat scary. I don't know why I was having them. It took what felt like forever for me to actually fall back asleep.

#######

The rest of the week went on in the same fashion. The whole school day would drag until I got to Biology and then the one class that I wanted the time to go slow it felt like I was in class for 5 minutes before the bell would ring. Edward Cullen spoke to me every biology lesson. It was the only time he would talk to me. He would not acknowledge me outside of that class but he would stare at me during lunch in the cafeteria, as well as his sister, Alice.

I found out that Edward didn't really like to talk about himself. He would only talk about general things. He didn't really ask me in-depth questions or anything, he never really asked anything personal besides the first day he started talking to me. Every time I tried to direct the conversation to him he would either stop talking to me altogether or deflect the question back to me. I still did not know what to make of the whole situation. I mean at least he was talking to me. Ok so to be honest I don't get Edward Cullen at all. He is just in the too hard basket at the moment and I have other things to worry about, not some boy at my school who is acting weird.

So the rest of the school week was uneventful. Nothing too interesting happened. Mike continued to follow me like a lost puppy. Mike and Eric shot daggers at each other when the other was with me. Jessica was starting to get annoyed with me because Mike was paying attention to me. In Gym I was still clumsy and managed to hit the other students with the ball numerous times. They were actually starting to get annoyed with me because I was making them work harder or I was hitting them with the ball. In my defence they were all accidents.

Once Friday afternoon came I was thankful. I needed to weekend to myself. Between Edwards weird behaviour, Jessica being annoyed at me and Eric and Mike's boyish rivalry it was getting on my nerves. I was just glad for the peace and quiet.

###########

Saturday passed without much happening. I spent the day reading and doing homework. The weather wasn't the best and I stayed inside and of course there is only so much you can do. Charlie was at the station. I really do not know why he has a house he might as well sleep at the station.

So here it is Sunday morning and I am trying to get the energy to actually get out of bed. I figured I might as well get it over with so I jumped up and went to have a shower. I turned the shower on and got undressed. It takes forever for the water to heat up in this house, probably because it's always so freaking cold. Once the water had heated up I got in. I went through the mundane task of washing my hair. I decided to shave my legs, only to realise that I threw out my old razor. I debated about leaving it or getting out the shower to get another. I figured I could waste some time by actually doing it so I got out to get a new one. I found my bag of toiletries in the bathroom cabinet. I searched around for a new razor, before I found it I stumbled upon a blue box. I froze. Suddenly I found breathing hard. No no no no, I kept chanting in my head.

I don't know how much time passed but I managed to get up turn the shower off and make my way to my room. I found some old sweats and put them on and just sat on my bed staring at the blue box. I am wrong, I have to be wrong. I slowly stood up and made my way to my calendar on the wall. I counted the days. No it's wrong; I lost count on how many times I counted the days. Shit. I turned and slid down the wall and curled up into a ball on the floor.

I was late. I was never late. I was always on time like clockwork. Maybe there is a reason, something simple. Who was I kidding? I was hoping that I would never have to tell anyone what happened. I didn't and I still don't want anyone to know. But how can I keep this from people. I mean they are going to notice. Maybe I'm not. I mean I could just be late. I kept thinking over and over in my head the other reasons I could be late. I came up with one thing. It was the only reason really. What am I going to do? I just wow.

I moved to get my journal out. I needed to write. I felt better when I wrote. I needed to put pen to paper. To vent, to get this out of my system. I reached for the floor board and pulled it back and removed my journal. I started to write whatever came to mind.

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_My life is so messed up. I have read stories and heard on the news about women that were raped and they hid it from everyone, and I always thought they were stupid for doing that. But you don't understand until you have lived through it, the thought of telling anyone about what happened, seemed completely incomprehensible. I don't want to be known as __the girl that was raped. __ I definitely don't want anyone's pity or for them to feel sorry for me, I don't want anyone to treat me or look at me differently, but most of all, I don't want Charlie or Renee to know. I mean what happened, happened, and there wasn't anything anyone could do about that now. It had already happened. What good would it do to have people know? I already felt dirty, used and broken. What good would it have done to tell people and for them to know this? It would only make Charlie and Renee upset. I don't want anyone else to suffer because what James did. I feel guilty enough as it is. I was my fault I was stupid to not see it. Why didn't I see it? _

_There was no way around this now. I mean if I am and I think I am, then everyone was going to find out it is only a matter of time now. I need to find out though. To make sure. I couldn't do anything here in Forks because Charlie would no doubt find out. What am I going to do? Can I do this? What are my parents going to think? Will they hate me? I hate me so they should hate me. I was stupid, I am stupid. I shouldn't have let this happen. This can not be happening. It is bad enough that he raped me but now I could be pregnant. I hate myself but more than anything I hate James. _

_#####_

I could no longer see what I was writing. My eyes were all blurry and I had tears running down my face. This could not be happening. I stared at the word raped. It is the first time I ever said it in a sense. Every time I thought about what happened I never acknowledge it. I tried to forget and not deal with it. It wasn't the best thing to do; I don't know what the best thing to do is. I just wished it never happened.

The next thing I heard was Charlie calling out. I don't know how long he had been calling out but it must have been a while because he was now knocking on my door.

"Bells, are you in there?" he asked.

I couldn't find my voice to respond. He would know that I had been crying. How long was I up here for. I turned to look at the clock and it read 6pm. Crap I had spend the whole day up here crying.

"Bella are you alright?" He asked concern and worry lacing his voice.

If he only knew how I was he probably would have a heart attack.

"Um yeah I'm fine." I said, crap my voice was hoarse from crying. I hope Charlie didn't notice or if he did he wouldn't say anything.

"You sure Bella? If you want I could order pizza for dinner?"

Ok so he must think something is up.

"Um I'm good really. Pizza would be great." I said.

I hadn't started dinner, it completely slipped my mind. Charlie must have noticed.

"Ok then. I'll be downstairs." He said and with that I heard him walk down the stairs.

I needed to pull myself together if I wanted to be able to face Charlie tonight. I didn't want him to know that something is wrong. I just I don't know anymore. I just sat on my bed staring at the wall thinking about what I am going to do. I honestly don't know. I wanted to scream, to hit something or someone. Why me? I had always thought that. Why did he have to pick me? Was I an easy target? I rolled over on my bed and I screamed into my pillow.

Eventually I calmed down enough to face Charlie when dinner arrived. We ate dinner in front of the TV, Charlie put it on something other than sports. I couldn't tell you what, I wasn't exactly paying attention. I did notice Charlie glancing at me every so often, he looked concerned. I felt bad that he was worried about me but I couldn't tell him I was fine – not to his face anyway – I don't think I could keep a straight face if I had to look at him. As soon as I could I made my way back upstairs. I couldn't stay downstairs with Charlie, if I did he probably would have worked up the courage to ask me what was wrong. I couldn't risk that. So I went upstairs to hide. I just laid on my bed numb. I was emotionally drained. This was the worst nightmare ever and I wished that I would wake up. I wished that it was a dream. I don't know what time but it was sometime in the AM that I managed to fall asleep. It wasn't a deep sleep. I tossed and turned and couldn't get to sleep properly.


	9. Chapter 8: The Accident

**A/N I may not get a chance to update for another week and a half, I'm working everyday, which isn't fun! Also I've only written half of the next chapter, was hoping to have it done by today so I could edit it on Sunday and post it but I haven't so hopefully next weekend I'll be able to post it.  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 8:<strong> The Accident.

When I woke up this morning, I don't actually think I really slept last night, something felt different though and it wasn't my lack of sleep. It was light. There normally isn't light. It was still gray-green light but it was light none the less. However when I got to my window I realised that there was no fog this morning, which was a surprise. What I was not looking forward to seeing was the fine layer of snow that was still covering the ground. Oh come on are you serious. Snow, really, it has been like this for the last week. I am going to fall down for sure today, like I really needed to do that today. Even better, there was ice. This definitely was going to be an interesting day. Maybe no one will notice if I just don't go. It is safer inside that it is if I go out there. It was safer in more ways than one. I don't want to face reality. I didn't like reality. If I stayed here I could just ignore it for a while but who was I kidding. I couldn't stay home, Charlie would find out and then he would definitely think that something is wrong.

Charlie had left for work before I got downstairs, for which I was extremely thankful for. He generally is gone before I get up.

I had a quick bowl of cereal and grabbed a glass of orange juice. I didn't really feel like eating but I knew I wouldn't make it until lunch. I was actually nervous to go to school and that scared me. I really didn't feel like pretending anymore. Everything wasn't fine and I was kidding myself thinking that it was. I don't think I could keep up with the charade I had going anymore. I almost slipped last night and let Charlie see that something was wrong. What if someone asked me if I was ok, would I be able to lie and say everything was fine. Maybe they would just think I'm having a bad day, I could have a bad day and that would be perfectly normal. Everyone has a bad day every now and then.

I walked out the house locking the door on my way out. I started to walk down the path to my truck. It was really slippery. Of course I didn't make it to my truck unharmed. I managed to slip down the driveway on the way to my truck. I slipped on the ice and fell hard on my butt. I cursed under my breath. I normally don't curse but hey it hurt a lot. I slowly got back on my feet, rubbed my butt and carefully made my way to the side of my truck and got in. Today seriously was going to be nightmarish.

I made sure to drive carefully to school, I didn't want to cause an accident or crash due to the road being slick with ice. I kept my attention focused on the road ahead, even though I had a million other thoughts in my head. I parked my truck in a spare parking space, happy that I didn't leave behind me a path of destruction.

I sat in my warm truck for a while thinking about the reactions of the boys here. It was somewhat weird. No boy had every really looked at me in Phoenix, although they had all seen me grow up and I was always clumsy and not pretty enough so why would they be interested in me. There was one exception to that, James. Just thinking his name made me want to hit or throw something. I'm not a violent person by any means but thinking his name makes my skin crawl. He was interested but I was too stupid to see him for what he was. I was now going to have to live with that for the rest of my life. It made me wary of all guys. So now here in Forks it's like the boys are programmed differently. They responded to me differently, Mike, Eric and even Edward. Maybe it was just a phase and they would get bored, the novelty would ware off eventually. I hoped so. Well hey on the upside if I am pregnant then that would scare them all off. I honestly do not like Mike and how he acts, it's kind of pathetic – following me around like a little lost puppy. It seemed like there was either a competition or some rivalry happening especially between Mike and Eric. I think I liked being ignored. Maybe I might get my wish.

I looked at my watch, it was time to get out of my truck and start making my way to class. When I got out of my truck I seen why I didn't have any trouble with the icy roads. There were thin chains crisscrossed in diamond shapes around them. I don't remember them being on there the other day. Charlie was the only person who could have done that. Why did he do that for me? No one has ever done something like this for me. Wow. I wasn't used to being taken care of, and Charlie's unspoken concern caught me by surprise. I smiled it was nice, I would have to thank him for that when he gets home tonight. Well at least one positive thing happened today.

I made my way over to the side walk. I passed Edward Cullen's nice shiny Volvo as he parked it. Great so he is here today. They all got out of the car and walked started to walk behind me. All of a sudden I heard an odd sound.

It was a high-pitched screeching, and it was becoming increasingly loud. I looked up abruptly. I saw several things at once. Everything was moving extremely fast, not slow like you see in movies. Even though everything was moving so fast for some reason I was able to absorb in clear detail several things at once, maybe it was due to the adrenaline rushing through my veins that made me see everything in fine detail.

Edward who was standing a few metres from me looked at me in absolute horror. The other students standing around the parking lot had shock written all over their faces. It scared me, why were they looking like that. Then all of a sudden Edward Cullen came running for me, yelling something I couldn't make out. Why couldn't I hear him. I turned my head slightly and seen a dark blue van sliding out of control, the tyres couldn't get a grip on the road due to the ice. The tyres were locked and squealing against the brakes and it started to spin. Then it hit me, it was heading straight for me. I couldn't move. Why couldn't I move? I needed to move.

Then something hit me hard. Had the van finally hit me. My head was smashed against the pavement, I felt someone's arms wrap around me and they pinned me to the ground. It definitely was not the van. I opened my eyes and I found myself being pinned down my Edward Cullen. We were laying on the pavement huddled in the corner of the brick wall, the van had blocked us in here. Thankfully the brick wall stuck out, due to the stairs heading up towards the classrooms, to stop it from slamming into us. All I heard after the van stopped was people yelling and screaming. They were calling my name as well as Edwards. Then I heard Edward Cullen's low, frantic voice in my ear. I turned my head slowly towards his voice, ok not such a good idea my head was killing me.

"Bella? Are you alright?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I replied, that was my normal automatic response. I tried to sit up, but soon realised that Edward still had his arms wrapped around me.

"Be careful Bella." He warned me as I struggled against his grasp. "I think you hit your head pretty hard."

Ok my head was getting worse. I didn't think that was possible. I moved my hand to my head and winced.

"Oww," I said as I gently felt my head.

"Yeah that's what I thought. Sorry I didn't mean for you to hit your head I just had to get you out of the way of the van. It's a better alternative than getting squished by the van. You ok other than your head." He asked.

I checked myself over as effectively as I could in this small space. I don't think anything was broken. I'd had broken bones before and nothing felt broken.

"No I think I'm ok." I replied. "Why did you help me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He responded.

That was a shock. I didn't know how to respond to that. Maybe it would have been better if he had of let the van squash me. Then I wouldn't have to deal with my life. Ok he doesn't need to know that.

"I don't know." I honestly didn't. "You could have gotten hurt and badly if we didn't get out of the way in time and it's not like we are friends or anything." That was actually a good response.

Edward looked over at me intently for a moment. He looked confused, then angry and then upset.

"Well I couldn't just stand there and watch you get hurt." Then he shook his head and mumbled something that I couldn't quite catch.

And then the rest of the world came back into focus. A crowd of students and teachers were all yelling different instructions.

"Don't move," someone yelled.

"Someone help Tyler out of the van and be careful of the glass. Be careful you don't cut yourself." Someone else instructed

There was a flurry of activity around us. We couldn't see them yet as the van was blocking our view. I tried to move, I was uncomfortable in the position I was in.

"Just don't move yet, you could be hurt." Edward instructed, holding me down.

"I need to move. I'm uncomfortable like this." I complained. He started laughing at me and shaking his head. Maybe he was right, I shouldn't move just in case.

"You want to move because you're uncomfortable." He looked at me and smiled. "Don't move until an EMT looks at you. My dad is a doctor you know so better listen to me. You shouldn't move just in case."

I rolled my eyes. Ok right. Maybe I shouldn't argue with him. He was actually being nice and he did just save my life.

All around us was total and utter chaos. I could hear voices all muffled together. I couldn't make any sense of what people were saying and my head was pounding. I moved a little, well as much as I could in this small space, and all of a sudden there was a sharp pain in my stomach. I screamed and curled my legs up to my chest. My hands went to cradle my stomach. Edward looked at me with a panicked expression.

"Bella, what's wrong? Are you ok? Where does it hurt?" He fired off the questions so quickly that I hardly even heard them.

"I don't know." I said through clenched teeth. "It hurts."

"Bella, what hurts?" He asked.

"My stomach." I said as a tear escaped and rolled down my face. It was a sharp stabbing pain.

"It's ok Bella just don't move they should get us out soon." He said. Trying to sooth me.

It was then that I heard the sirens. Then there was more yelling, a lot more yelling. I don't know how much time passed. I just wanted to get out of here. It took six EMTs and two teachers – Mr Schofield and Coach Jackson – to shift the van far enough away from us to bring the stretchers in. Edward of course refused his, saying that he was ok. He of course told them that I had hit my head and that I had sever pains in my stomach. If I wasn't in pain I would have been concerned about the fuss they were putting up, the neck brace and stretchers, but I honestly didn't care. I knew everyone was watching as they loaded me into the back of the ambulance. Edward still came to the hospital but didn't have to be strapped to one of these stupid things and he got to ride up front. My day just had to get better, Charlie turned up before we even left the school grounds.

"Bella!" He yelled in a panic, when he seen me strapped to the stretcher.

"I'm ok Char – Dad," I sighed. "I'll be fine." Ok seems as though that is my automatic response to that question. I wasn't fine, not physically or emotionally, but I could pretend that everything was fine. I wonder just how long I could keep that going though.

He turned to the closest EMT for a second opinion. They spoke for a while. I don't know what they were saying I couldn't hear properly. I looked around and saw that Edward's family was looking on, they looked concerned. Obviously Edward was ok, he was after all walking and not strapped to a stretcher, like I was.

Of course I was lucky enough to get a police escort to the county hospital. The pain in my stomach wasn't there anymore but my head felt like someone was playing the drums in there. When we arrived they unloaded me off the ambulance as Edward just walked through the doors. He was the lucky one. I hated him right now.

They put me in the Emergency room, a long room with a line of beds separated by annoying curtains. A nurse put a pressure cuff on my arm and a thermometer under my tongue. The nurse wrote something down on my chart and then walked away. I decided that this neck brace was getting annoying so I took it off and threw it under the bed.

Then there was a group of hospital personnel bringing in another stretcher. They placed the patient next to me in the spare bed. I recognised that it was Tyler Crowley from my Government class. He was there under bloodstained bandages wrapped around his head, he was barely recognisable. Tyler looked a lot worse than I did, at least I wasn't bleeding. He was staring at me anxiously.

"Oh Bella I am so so sorry. I didn't mean to, I tried to not hit you. It's just ... oh I'm just so sorry."

"I'm fine Tyler. You don't look so good yourself, are you alright?" As we started to speak a nurse started to take off his bandages showing the extent of his injuries. They weren't that bad which was good.

He completely ignored me and went on with his ramblings. "I thought that I was going to kill you! I was going way too fast and I hit the ice wrong and I couldn't correct it, I just kept sliding." He winced as the nurse started to dab his face.

"Don't worry about it. You didn't hit me."

"I'm glad that Edward was there to push you out of the way. I'd thankful that I hit the wall and not you and Edward."

"Yeah me too."

"Where is Edward? Is he ok?" he asked concerned, trying to look around the emergency room.

"I think he is ok. He didn't have to come in on a stretcher. He is here somewhere though."

Then a nurse came over, pulled the curtain between Tyler and my beds across blocking Tyler and my view, and said that they wanted to take me off to X-ray. I panicked. I can't have one, can I? I started to hyperventilate. The nurse tried to calm me down. I couldn't tell them but they needed to know that I could be.

"I ... I can't." I finally stammered out.

"You can't what Sweetheart?" The nurse asked looking at me anxiously.

"X-ray. I can't."

"Why can't you?" The nurse looked concerned and confused. Then realisation hit her. "Oh honey, are you pregnant?"

I just looked at her. I couldn't say it out loud. I just couldn't that would be admitting it. Admitting what happened. A tear fell down my face. The nurse looked even more concerned than she did before.

"Sweetheart do you think you could be?" She asked.

I couldn't speak yet so I just nodded. I closed my eyes to try to stop the onslaught of tears that threatened to fall. The nurse patted my arm.

"It's ok. I'll talk to the doctor and get a blood test done. In the mean time you can still have your x-ray. It is completely safe I promise you." The nurse informed me encouragingly.

With that they then wheeled me away to X-ray my head. I was right my head was fine, not even a concussion. Once that was done the nurse took some blood to check to see if I was pregnant. I had to wait a while before I could leave. They didn't want me to leave just in case, which I didn't know if I was completely happy with that decision. Also I had to wait for the doctor to see me. So for now I was trapped in the ER, waiting. Then I started to worry, I hope that they didn't tell Charlie about the blood test.

I was trapped in the ER, waiting, all the while being harassed by Tyler and his constant apologies and promises to make it up to me. I tried to convince him that I was fine. He wouldn't hear it. He seemed dead set on tormenting himself over what had happened; I mean it wasn't like he hit me or anything. Well he would have if Edward wasn't there. I figured that I couldn't do anything to ease Tyler's guilt at the moment so I decided to close my eyes and try to ignore him. He still kept up his remorseful mumblings.

"Is she sleeping?" a musical voice asked. My eyes automatically flew open. Edward was standing at the end of my bed, he looked concerned. I couldn't help it, I glared at him.

"Hey, Edward, I'm really sorry I didn't –" Tyler began.

Edward lifted a hand to stop him from continuing.

"No blood, no foul. I'm fine really. You two have the worst of it." He said, flashing a dazzling smile. He moved and sat on the edge of Tyler's bed, facing me.

"So what's the verdict?" He asked.

"Um my head is fine." I replied. "How come you aren't strapped to one of these like us?"

"It's all about who you know." He replied smirking. "But don't worry, I hopefully came to spring you."

Then a doctor walked around the corner, and my mouth fell open. He looked young for his age, he was blonde ... and he was handsomer than any movie star I'd ever seen. He looked tired though, probably had been working for a while already. There were similarities between Edward and the doctor. Remembering Charlie's description, this had to be Edward's father.

"So, Miss Swan," Dr Cullen said "how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I lied, for the last time, I hoped.

He walked to the light board on the wall over my head, and turned it on.

"Your X-rays look good." He said. "Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard."

"I'm fine," I repeated with a sigh, throwing a quick scowl towards Edward.

The doctor's cool fingers probed lightly along my skull. He noticed when I winced.

"Tender?" He asked.

'Not really. It's fine." I'd had worse.

I heard a chuckle, and looked over to see Edward's patronizing smile. My eyes narrowed at him. What was his problem?

"Well, your father is in the waiting room – you can go home with him soon."

"Can't I go back to school?" I asked, imagining Charlie trying to be attentive.

"You should take it easy today." Dr Cullen replied.

"Does he get to go back to school?" I asked annoyed.

"Someone has to spread the good news that we all survived." Edward said smugly.

"Actually," Dr Cullen interrupted, "most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

"Oh no," I moaned, covering my face with my hands.

"If you like I can let you stay longer than you have to." Dr Cullen said raising his eyebrows.

"No, no I just want to get out of here as quick as I can please." I responded.

"Ok. Edward why don't you go and let everyone know that Isabella and Tyler are fine?" Dr Cullen asked his son.

"Yeah sure no problem I'll go do that now then." And with that he turned and walked out of the ER towards the waiting room.

"Isabella" Dr Cullen started.

"Bella, please." I interrupted.

"Ok then, Bella, the nurse informed me that you thought that you might be pregnant." He stopped and looked at me before continuing. "Do you want me to go get your father?" He asked.

"Um no." I said shaking my head. That was a bad decision my head was still hurting. I couldn't have Charlie here, not yet anyway.

Dr Cullen nodded and continued. "Well we took some blood and ran a blood test. It came back positive."

Everything around me disappeared. I thought it was a possibility because I was late. Why didn't I notice before or think about the possibility at the time. I am smart I should have realised. I don't know how long I zoned out for because Dr Cullen's voice started to become clearer and appeared to be somewhat panicked.

"Bella, Bella talk to me." He kept saying. "Come on Bella look at me."

My head snapped up to look at him. He looked concerned and worried. He seemed to realise that I was paying attention now.

"Bella. Are you alright?" He asked carefully.

"I ... I" I couldn't say anything. I wasn't alright. I thought I was but I wasn't. I broke down then and just cried. I didn't care who saw me I just needed to cry. Dr Cullen came up and hugged me. He let me cry. He didn't care that I was crying all over him. He rubbed my back soothingly. I didn't care that I was crying over a stranger, it didn't feel weird or uncomfortable. I don't know how long we were like that before my tears stopped. Dr Cullen pulled me back from him and laid me back down on the bed. He took a seat on my bed. He seemed to be trying to decipher my reaction.

"Bella, I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything. But I am taking it that this is something that you didn't want?" He asked.

I couldn't find my voice so I just nodded. I was looking down fidgeting with my ring. I didn't want this but what was I going to do now. My head was spinning out of control at the moment. Having it confirmed made it seem all the more real.

"Bella, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions now. You can just nod; you don't have to answer verbally, alright?" He asked looking at me, I nodded my acknowledgement. "Ok I do you know who the father is?"

I looked up angry what did he think I did, sleep around. I nodded. What was with his question.

"Ok. Do you want to contact him?" He asked, looking on carefully.

I shook my head no. He can't know. I didn't want him to know. I started to have trouble breathing.

"Bella it's ok. You don't have to tell him. Calm down." He tried to reassure me. "Take deep breaths, in through your nose and out through your mouth." I did as he asked. "Good that's it."

Eventually I got my breathing under control. Dr Cullen looked at me. It wasn't like he was judging me or anything. He looked concerned.

"Bella I am going to ask you something difficult. Remember you can just nod." He seemed to pause to take a breath and then continued. "Bella were you sexually assaulted?"

Just looked at him stunned, I couldn't move. I didn't know how to respond. If I did everyone would know why I came here and know what happened. It would kill Charlie and Renee. No I couldn't do it. I couldn't let them suffer too.

"Bella, It's ok. Just nod. No one is going to think of you any differently." He said reassuringly. I looked at him and he nodded encouragingly. "It's ok Bella. Take your time. Were you raped?"

I looked down and played with my ring again. Maybe I would feel better if I let other people know. I looked up and nodded at him. I dropped my gaze back down. I didn't want to see his face to see him feel sorry for me. I didn't want that.

"It's going to be ok Bella." He said reassuringly. "Now I just want to examine you. Edward said that you were having severe stomach pains. If you want I can go and get you a female doctor. I am trained as a gynaecologist as well as a general surgeon but it is completely up to you. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"It's ok. I feel comfortable with you." I replied.

"Ok then. I'll have the nurse come and take you to another room, somewhere more private." He stated before walking off to get the nurse.

I can't believe I had just told someone. I don't know why I did. He is going to tell Charlie for sure. He can't though doctor patient confidentiality and all that. Maybe it is better if he told him. I don't think I could. Before I could dwell on it too much the nurse came to take me to a more private room.

Dr Cullen walked into the room then. He was talking to me but I couldn't quite register what he was saying. I just nodded every now and then and I'm sure he realised I wasn't paying attention. The nurse came and held my hand through the whole exam. It was uncomfortable and felt weird but that was the least of my problems. Once Dr Cullen was finished he stood up and took his gloves off.

"Bella, everything seems to be ok. But you have been in an accident and fell pretty hard. There is no guarantee that everything will be fine and you aren't that far along only a few weeks. Due to the trauma of the accident you could miscarry. You were experiencing pain in your abdomen before. Is it still there?" He asked.

"Um no I'm fine." I actually was there wasn't any pain anymore so I wasn't lying about that.

He looked at me for a moment, probably trying to figure out if I was lying or not. He seemed to believe me. "Ok then that is good. Just be careful, take it easy for a while. I suggest spend the rest of the day in bed and take it easy over the next week or so. But I want you to come back immediately if you feel dizzy, have trouble with your eyesight or if you have any cramping, bleeding or any discomfort at all."

"Ok I will. Can I go home now?" I asked. I really was drained and I just wanted to go home.

"Bella I just want to talk to you for a moment about a few things." He said cautiously. I nodded indicating for him to continue. "I'm guessing that I am the first person that you have told and admitted what happened to you."

I nodded. He was the first person I have said anything to.

"I think it is best if you take to someone about what happened. A counsellor or a psychiatrist, just someone Bella. It is not a good thing to keep it all inside. I can recommend someone for you to talk to if you would like. You don't have to go straight away but please just consider it. It may actually help you, to talk about it with a stranger. Someone that doesn't know you and can help you." He looked at me concerned.

I nodded. I couldn't find my voice to talk. Nodding was good at least he knew that I was listening.

"Ok well I can get you the number or I can set up an appointment with one of my colleagues for you." He paused for a moment and that made me look at him. "Bella I think that you should tell your father."

I shook my head. I couldn't tell him. What would he think? He would hate me especially now. I was after all pregnant.

"Bella, it's ok. He is your dad, he is probably worried about you. He needs to know Bella and he is probably going to figure out or already know that something is wrong."

What did he mean by that. I looked at him confused.

"Bella you are pregnant I think he is going to notice that."

Realisation hit me. He is going to know something happened. I closed my eyes wishing that this was just a nightmare and I'd wake up.

"Have you decided what you are going to do?" Dr Cullen asked.

"What do you mean?" I had no idea what he was talking about.

"The pregnancy. Are you going to go through with it or do you want to terminate? You don't have to decide right now but you do eventually need to make a decision and the sooner the better." He asked.

I hadn't even considered what I was going to do. I didn't know what to do. Could I live with myself if I got rid of it. I don't know. It was bad enough what I went though. It wasn't the baby's fault. How could I do something to it? The answer is I couldn't.

"I'm keeping it." I whispered.

Amazingly enough Dr Cullen heard me and nodded.

"Ok then. Bella I think it is a good idea that you tell your father." He looked at me for a moment before continuing. "Or I could tell him if you like? I could just tell him what I know. It isn't much but at least he would know something."

I nodded. "Please." I responded.

"Not a problem Bella. I'll go talk to your father now. It will be alright." He said reassuringly.

I don't know how long Dr Cullen was gone but it felt like forever. I just sat in this room alone thinking. Every so often the nurse would come back in and check on me. She smiled reassuringly at me but I could see she felt sorry for me. This is what I didn't want.

All of a sudden there was a knock on the door and it was Dr Cullen. He peeked his head in.

"Bella, your father is here." He stated.

I nodded acknowledging what was about to happen. In walked Dr Cullen and Charlie. Charlie looked like he had been crying. His eyes were a little red and puffy. Charlie never cried. I didn't want this. I didn't want other people to suffer with me.

"Bella, I have told your father what you have told me." He said. "I have also told your father that I suggested that you talk to someone about what happened."

Charlie spoke for the first time then.

"Bells I think Dr Cullen is right. You should talk to someone." He looked sad. "Bella I wish you had of told me." A tear fell down his face.

"I'm sorry." I said looking down. I disappointed him. I didn't want to do that. I know Charlie and I have never really had the best relationship but I didn't want him to hurt or be disappointed by me.

"Oh Bells you have nothing to be sorry for. That ... that monster that did this to you should be." He said and then he said under his breath "If I ever find him he'll be really sorry."

I just nodded I didn't have the energy to say anything. Today had been draining.

"Bella." Dr Cullen said. "I also told your father about the pregnancy."

I looked at Charlie, he turned his head so I couldn't see his face but then he faced me. His facial expression was hard to figure out. It was like he was forcing himself to remain calm. I hope he wasn't mad at me. He probably was.

"It's ok Bells we, we will get through this. It will be fine." Charlie said, trying to reassure me. It wasn't working. Nothing was going to be fine. I was never going to be fine again.

Charlie and Dr Cullen spoke for a few minutes. I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. I did notice Dr Cullen handing papers to Charlie. Some more talking. Then they addressed me.

"Ok Bella remember what I said earlier. If you have any dizziness, cramping or bleeding, anything at all come back. Bed rest for the rest of the day and maybe even take tomorrow off school, I'm sure the school would understand." Dr Cullen instructed.

"Don't worry Dr Cullen I'll make sure she takes it easy." Charlie responded.

"Ok then. Bella, your dad has all the information of one of my colleagues that you can talk to. If you need anything I am always here. You dad has already signed your discharge papers so you are free to go." Dr Cullen said while he shook Charlie's hand.

"Thank you Dr Cullen, for everything." Charlie said.

"Thank you Dr Cullen." I said. I was thankful, he told Charlie for me and I didn't have to. I felt relieved that I didn't have to tell him. I wouldn't have known where to start or what to say or how to say it to him.

I got up off the bed. I stumbled a little. Dr Cullen and Charlie both reached out to steady me.

"You alright there Bella? Do you feel dizzy?" Dr Cullen asked me.

"No I'm fine, just got up too quick, that's all." I replied. Dr Cullen nodded in acknowledgement.

"Ok Bells. Lets get you home." Charlie said.

Charlie put one arm behind my back, not quite touching me, and led me towards the exit. We walked through the waiting room quickly. I waved sheepishly at my friends, hoping to convey that they didn't need to worry about me. It was a huge relief – the first time I ever felt this way – to get into the cruiser with Charlie.

We drove home in silence. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I barely knew that Charlie was there or that we had arrived home. Charlie came around and opened up my door for me. We walked up the path in silence, he unlocked the front door and we walked inside.

"Bells why don't you head upstairs and I'll bring you up something to eat or some hot coco." Charlie said.

If he wanted to do this, to fuss over me, I would let him. I just nodded and then turned and went upstairs. I quickly changed out of my clothes and into my pyjamas, and then got into bed. Charlie came up after a few minutes and brought me a sandwich and some hot coco.

"I hope you like your coco like you did when you were little." He said smiling at me.

"Yeah thanks." I replied.

"Bells, I just ... I don't know what to say." He said as he sat on my bed.

"It's ok dad."

"No Bella everything is far from ok." He said looking at me. "Is that why you moved here with me?"

I nodded. Charlie rubbed his hands over his face. I sat up in bed, I had a feeling that Charlie wanted to talk about it. Charlie grabbed the plate off the nightstand.

"Bells, you need to eat." He said as he handed me the plate. I picked up the sandwich and started to eat.

"If you don't want to talk about this now that is ok, but we do need to talk about it eventually." He paused for a moment. "Does Renee know?" He asked.

"No." I replied after swallowing a bite of my sandwich. Charlie nodded in acknowledgement.

"Ok well you need to get some rest. I'll organise to get your truck back here for you. Don't even think about going to school tomorrow. Dr Cullen said you should take the day off." He lectured.

I just nodded. I was doing that a lot lately. Charlie got up and walked to the door.

"I'm not going back into work today. If you need anything just yell. I'll be downstairs." And with that Charlie walked out of my room and downstairs.

I was actually tired. I quickly finished my sandwich and drank my hot coco. I laid down in bed and wrapped myself up in the blanket. I was tired, numb and overwhelmed. I don't know how long it was but I eventually fell asleep. It wasn't a deep sleep but I was asleep. I swear I heard my bedroom door open and close a few times but I couldn't find the energy to open my eyes.

I didn't know what time it was but it was dark inside my room when I woke up. I was woken up due to hearing a raised voice. I rubbed my eyes and slowly got out of bed. I made my way to my door and opened it carefully. I could hear Charlie talking, I couldn't hear another voice so I assume that he is on the phone.

"How could you not have noticed Renee?" He said. "Our daughter was raped Renee. Do you understand? How could you not have been able to notice that something was wrong?"

There was silence for a while. "Renee, listen please ... No she is doing ok. Renee there is more ... Would you just calm down and listen, " More silence. "Bella, is pregnant."

Oh no, he was talking to Renee. This is going to kill her.

"Renee, no she is not going back to Phoenix. She came here for a reason, it was her choice." Charlie yelled into the phone.

More silence. This was killing me.

"Look she is asleep at the moment. I just thought that you should know." Silence. "Lets let Bella decide that. I'll get her to call you tomorrow. She has the day off school. Ok Renee. Yeah, Bye."

I turned around and went back to my room. I didn't want Charlie to know that I heard part of the conversation. I was still tired so I got back into bed and closed my eyes.


	10. Chapter 9: The Day After

****A/N ok so I had time to finish this chapter a bit earlier than anticipated so you are getting it early.****

****Want to thank TheCryingDevil for being the first to post a comment/review it means a lot so thank you.****

****So please post a comment/review and let me know what you think of my story!  
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****Disclaimer: ****All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: <strong>The Day After

I woke up the next morning, after a restless night's sleep, extremely exhausted. It didn't help matters much that during the night Charlie decided to come in and check on me, what seemed like one hundred times. Ok I am probably exaggerating, but I heard the door creak every time he opened and closed it. It was nice that he cared enough to check on me during the night.

I decided it was time to get up. I couldn't lay in bed all day and Charlie was probably already gone. I wasn't looking forward to having to talk to him this morning. With that I slowly got myself out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I had dark circles under my eyes and I looked even more pale than normal – I didn't think that it was even possible. I quickly washed my face and walked down stairs.

I was shocked when I reached the bottom of the stairs. I could smell bacon coming from the kitchen. I walked in and was surprised to see Charlie standing in front of the stove cooking. He was meant to be at work, he was always at work. I notice that he wasn't wearing his uniform, which was kind of weird. He noticed me then and he smiled.

"Morning Bells. I'm making bacon, eggs and sausages." He said, he continued on when I didn't say anything, "Sit down and I'll get you a plate."

With that I sat down. I didn't know what to say, it was too weird. Charlie started plating breakfast. I looked at the table; Charlie had already set the table and placed two glasses of juice for us. He must want to talk, that was why he was going through so much effort this morning with the making of breakfast. He normally doesn't cook anymore so he must really want to talk. Charlie placed a plate in front of me and one for himself and then sat down. We both started to eat in silence, but every now and then he would look up at me. It was like he was trying to figure out what to say and how to say it as his mouth would open and close, or maybe he was trying to figure out if he actually wanted to have this conversation. I knew it was coming there only was a matter of time before it did.

"How are you feeling this morning Bells?" he asked. Well that's fairly simple, probably going to start off slow and ease his way into the harder questions.

"I'm good." I replied. I was my head hurt a little but other than that I felt good. I wasn't lying to him; I did feel as good as can be expected.

"That's good. You are still having the day off. I already called the school and let them know." He informed me.

"Oh ok thanks." I guess I could find something to do around the house or maybe catch up on homework.

"Bella. I have something to tell you." He said as he looked out the window.

Oh no, this can't be good. He can't look at me; it has to be something bad. He can't send me back to Phoenix. He doesn't want me to stay here anymore. He probably doesn't want to deal with this. Maybe everyone knows what happened, maybe Edward overheard and now the whole town knows. Maybe he is going to warn me to be ready for the small town gossip. What else could he want to tell me, it has to be one of those right? My mind was going one hundred miles a minute trying to figure out what he could want to talk to me about.

"Ok," I said cautiously, I just wanted to get this over with.

"I called Renee last night, while you were asleep," He said warily. I just nodded. I already figured that out last night, but no need to tell Charlie that. "I told her what I know. She is your mother and I thought she had a right to know. I know if I were in her position I would want Renee to tell me."

"It's ok. I guess she had to find out sooner or later." I said smiling at him. I hope I was convincing I didn't want him to feel bad for telling Renee. It was the right thing for any parent to do.

Charlie just nodded and kept eating. I decided to do the same. It was nice that Charlie cooked breakfast.

"Bells, there is more. Your mother wants you to ring her. I told her that you were taking the day off school and that I would get you to ring her." I looked up and nodded. I heard that part of the conversation last night. "Knowing Renee if you don't ring her soon she will ring here first."

With that the phone started ringing.

"I bet you that is Renee." Charlie said as he got up and answered the phone. "Hello ... Yes Renee she is up ... Hold on a moment and I'll get her for you."

Charlie handed me the phone and started cleaning up the table.

"Hello Mom,"

"Oh Sweetheart. How are you? Are you alright? Do you want to come home? Bella honey you should have told me. Do you want me to come to Forks? I could come if you want me too. Phil won't mind. Oh Bella I'm so sorry I should have realised something was wrong." Renee rambled.

She fired off so many questions that it was making my head hurt even more.

"I'm doing ok Mom. I am home, Forks is my home now. I didn't know how and I guess I just didn't want to talk about it. I wasn't ready to talk about it. I'm still not ready to talk about it. You should stay with Phil, I already have Charlie here. I'm fine really." I rambled out in one breath. I hoped I answered all of her questions. I didn't want her to worry.

"Bella. I just ... I don't know what to say. Charlie said that you know who ... who it was. Bella you need to tell Charlie. The person that did this needs to be in prison."

I can't tell them. I didn't want him to know about the baby and he might find out if I tell Charlie. I didn't want him to know he can't know.

"Bella, Honey are you there?" Renee asked.

"No." I replied sternly.

"No what honey?" Renee asked.

"No, I'm not saying who." I replied.

"Why Isabella? We need to know. He needs to be held accountable for his actions. He can't get away with what he did to you. He made you leave your home Bella. He made you leave. I don't have you here because of what he did. "Renee started crying then, "I should have known something was wrong. Bella I let you down. I know I should have paid more attention been more of a mother figure for you. I'm sorry I let you take on so much responsibility at a young age. You should have had to deal with that. I let you down. I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could talk to me."

"Mom, it's not your fault. You didn't let me down." I tried to comfort her. I didn't want her to feel bad or guilty. She has nothing to feel guilty for.

"I do feel some guilt, nothing you say is going to change that but Bella please just tell Charlie." Renee said.

I just couldn't deal with this anymore. I already said I wasn't going to tell him or anyone. Why can't they just listen to me? With that I hung up the phone and walked back up to my room. I couldn't deal with this right now. Why couldn't they get that? The only just found out and now she is pressuring me to talk about it. I just can't yet. Once I made it to the top of the stairs, I heard the phone ring. I walked into my room and closed the door. I couldn't deal with this right now. I just wanted to lock myself in my room forever and forget this ever happened but I can't, not now anyway.

I decided to go have a shower, something to pass the time. When I got out I changed quickly and looked out the window. My truck was now in the driveway and Charlie's cruiser was parked out the front as well. I thought that I could just hide out in my room until Charlie left. He had to go to work soon, he is always at work. I put on some music and started cleaning my room.

Not too long later there was a knock on my door and then Charlie walked in. He still wasn't dressed in his uniform. I went back to cleaning my room.

"Bells." Charlie said trying to get my attention. "You shouldn't be doing too much; Dr Cullen said you need to take it easy."

I just nodded and kept cleaning my room. I didn't feel like talking especially if he is just going to be like Renee and pressure me into telling him. I wasn't ready why couldn't anyone get that. It happened to me and all they care about is answers. Like I have the answers, I was still trying to deal with this myself in my own way even if it wasn't the best way. I don't think there is even a best way to deal with something like this, you just have to deal with it whatever way you can I guess. Charlie continued on when I didn't say anything.

"Bells, Renee called back." I looked at Charlie then, obviously he wanted to talk about me hanging up on her. "I convinced her not to come to Forks; she was ready to get on the next flight to Seattle. She is worried about you Bells. I also told her that you would call her back when you were ready. I said it might not be today but I promised her that you would call her when you were ready."

"Thanks." That was nice of him; at least I didn't have to talk to Renee right away. That was a relief.

Charlie cleared his throat and rubbed his hand over his chin. He was nervous. I noticed that he did this when he is nervous. What could he be nervous about?

"I know you don't want to talk about it." He said.

I started to get angry. I had the same conversation with Renee. I slammed my book down on my desk with a little too much force.

"Bella please just listen to me for a moment please." Charlie said quickly.

"Fine." I said angrily.

"I know you are not ready to tell me who it was but Bella please I would like it eventually if you told me." He looked worried. I felt bad but I couldn't tell him. "I am only asking as your father Bella."

I didn't know what he meant by that. What is he talking about? I shook my head. This was getting messy and complicated. I didn't like it. This is why I didn't want people to know.

"What do you mean?" I asked him. I needed to know what he meant.

"I'm not asking as a law enforcement officer Bells, I'm just asking as your Dad. If you don't want me to act on the information I won't. It goes against what I believe but if you do not want to press charges or take this further I will respect your decision, " He pleaded, he sighed before continuing on, "You have been through enough and the last thing I want to do is upset you. If you don't want to tell me now, then that's fine, but I do hope that eventually you can tell me."

He looked, well I don't know how he looked, but he looked drained. I guess at least he was willing to respect my wishes.

"Ok." I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Charlie sat down on my bed; he obviously had more to say. This is like the longest, weirdest and most awkward conversation that Charlie and I have ever had. He just sat there and just looked at me. I didn't know what to say to him or what to do. He looked so sad. I've never seen him like this.

"Bells I understand if you don't want to stay here, if you want to go and live with Renee." He paused before continuing, "Don't feel like you have to stay here because of me. I want you to be happy. I like having you here and I understand if you need your mother, especially now."

"No, I want to stay here." I said. I wanted to stay here. I couldn't go back to Phoenix. I couldn't go back not only because of the memories but Renee wasn't there, she was with Phil travelling the country. Phoenix wasn't home anymore and it never will be again.

"Ok then. Well I'm going to head into the station for a while. I shouldn't be long."

"You don't need to hurry back because of me. I'll be fine." I replied.

"Ok, I'll see you when I get back."

With that Charlie got up and walked out of my room, I heard his bedroom door open – he probably was getting changed into his uniform. I eventually heard the creak of the 3rd step as Charlie headed downstairs. I stood at the window and watched Charlie drive away and then I sat down on my bed. I was finally alone.

The flood gates opened and I couldn't stop. I just cried. I cried because I felt sad, guilty and relieved. I felt sad and guilty for the fact that everyone now knows and they all feel this too, it wasn't fair I didn't want this to happen. I felt relieved because everyone now knows and I don't have to tell them. I cried because I could without anyone seeing or hearing me.

I needed to write. I know it wasn't the same as talking about it with someone but this was my own way of coping, if that is what I was doing. I pulled out my journal from under the floor board and sat on the floor leaning up against my bed and started writing.

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><p><em>I can't believe what my life has become. Everyone now knows. Renee and Charlie, probably Phil too as well as Dr. Cullen, they all know. I feel relieved as well as scared. At least they know and I don't have to tell them. Dr. Cullen told Charlie for me and Charlie told Renee. But they still want to know what happened. I can't tell them that. I don't want to relive it out loud. It is bad enough I see it every time I close my eyes, I have nightmares every night about it. But to actually say the words I don't think I'm ready for that, I don't think I'll ever be ready for that. <em>

_They know I'm pregnant too. It was an easy decision to keep the baby. It wasn't its fault. I can't take away a life. I couldn't live with myself. I don't know what I'm going to do though. I'm going to have the baby but I don't know what will happen once it gets here. It's just too hard to decide at the moment. Would I be able to cope with a baby, I'm only 17. I don't know if I can do this. _

_I don't understand how someone could do this to another person. Did he think that I liked him that way? I mean he was nice but I wasn't interested in him. Why did he think it was ok for him to do this? Did I do something to make him think I liked him? Was it my fault?_

_I don't know anything anymore. I don't think I can trust anyone completely again. All because of him. One moment can change everything. I decision can change everything. I am unable to change what has happened I know that but how do I deal with it, I mean does anyone ever get over it. It feels like yesterday that it happened and now I will never be able to forget what happened. I am pregnant and there is no going back from that. I was going to be a mom and that in itself is scary._

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><p>I threw my journal against the wall in front of me. I was so angry, scared, upset and I couldn't stop the tears running down my face. I finally calmed down and decided to finish cleaning my room. I was up to the point of dusting when I decided to give up. My room really didn't need to be this clean and I was running out of things to clean.<p>

I went through my bookshelf that housed my limited amount of books I had with me as well as a few dvds, I pulled out one. I didn't pay attention to what one I picked up, I probably wouldn't pay attention anyway. I walked back downstairs to the living room to watch the movie.

I put the movie in and decided to go and grab a drink and something to eat while the dvd loaded. I took out a can of coke and quickly made a sandwich, I decided to make peanut butter and jelly while I was looking for the peanut butter I found a packed of chocolate chip cookies that looked too good to pass up so I took them out too. Once I finished making my sandwich I made my way back to the living room and settled down on the couch to watch it.

The next thing I hear is the front door open and close. I woke up startled, it was just Charlie. I must have fallen asleep during the movie.

"Sorry Bells did I wake you?" Charlie asked.

"No it's alright I probably wouldn't sleep tonight if I stayed asleep now." I replied a little groggily, "What do you want for dinner?"

"Bells you don't need to cook. I'll cook something." I said.

I laughed "Sorry. I don't mean to laugh but I honestly don't know how you survived before I came here."

"Yeah my cooking skills are somewhat limited." He said smiling at me.

"I'll find something to make." And with that I got up and made my way to the kitchen to make dinner. I took out some frozen pizzas and decided to just put them in the oven. It was simple enough, they weren't as good as homemade pizza or the local pizza place but it would do and involved limited amount of effort.

Once dinner was ready I called Charlie to the table and we ate in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable or anything, Charlie and I had actually had the longest conversations ever the past 2 days and the silence was welcoming. I know he was still worried about me but he knew to let me be.

The rest of the night was uneventful. I washed the dishes shortly after dinner and the headed up to get ready for bed. I wasn't tired, so I decided to read for a while, to pass the time. I knew that I needed to get to bed early because I was going to school tomorrow and that is going to be an interesting day to say the least.


	11. Chapter 10: The First Step

****A/N Ok so here is chapter 10, Hopefully I will update again in a few days depending on how I go. I haven't had time to edit this chapter its 12am here in Australia and I just finished writing it, so please forgive me if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes!  
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****I wanna thank everyone that has added my story to their favourites/story alerts means a lot to me!  
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****Disclaimer: ****All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: <strong>The first step.

In my dream it was very dark. I couldn't really make out what my dream was about but I could tell people were walking away from me. I couldn't tell who, because all I could see where their backs as they walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't catch up to them; no matter how loud I called, they never turned around. Troubled, I woke in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep again. After that, I decided to listen to music. I knew there was no way I could get back to sleep. In my dream it felt like everyone was abandoning me and I couldn't shake that feeling.

I went through my morning routine quickly not really concentrating on what I was doing, I was way too tired to care. Charlie was still here when I went back down stairs to have breakfast. He was on his way out though, as he was putting on his boots.

"Bells if you're not ready to go to school today you can have the day off." Charlie said.

"No I'm fine. I should go." I replied, "I can't stay home forever."

Charlie smiled at me although it looked forced. He got up then and headed for the door.

"If you feel like you need to come home at all or you find you're not ready you can come back home." With that he walked out the front door.

I made my way out to my truck not too long after Charlie left. I might as well get this over with. To my dismay, as soon as I got to the school parking lot and got out of my truck I was literally pounced on. The other students were all crowding me and asking if I was ok. I honestly couldn't tell you who asked because I wasn't really paying attention. I just kept up with I'm fine, everyone seemed to accept that – well at first.

The morning passed in a blur, everyone was concerned about me. It was weird but then again nothing much really happens in Forks so this was probably the highlight of their month. They probably just wanted some information they could use to spread gossip around town or something. No one mentioned the fact that I was pregnant, for that I was grateful.

Tyler Crowley was impossible, he followed me around, obsessed with making amends to me somehow. I tried to convince him what I wanted more than anything else was for him to forget all about it — especially since nothing had actually happened to me, I was fine — but he remained insistent. He followed me between classes and sat at our now crowded lunch table. Mike and Eric were even less friendly toward him than they were to each other, which made me worry that I'd gained another unwelcome fan. I hoped that it only lasted for today there was no way I could deal with this behaviour for longer than today, it was really driving me insane.

No one seemed too concerned about Edward, even though I explained over and over that he was the hero — he had pulled me out of the way and had nearly been crushed, too. I tried to be convincing, maybe if I convinced them they might start to crowd Edward and treat him as a hero and leave me alone. Mike, Eric, and everyone else always commented that they would have done the same thing if they had been close enough to do something. It seemed like everyone wanted to avoid giving Edward the hero title. It was weird, they didn't want to acknowledge his involvement. I couldn't figure out why though.

Edward was never surrounded by crowds of curious bystanders eager for his firsthand account. People avoided him as usual. The only ones that really walked up to him were his team mates. I don't know if they were talking about baseball or if they were discussing the accident. It was hard to tell as Edward was only ever seen with his team mates or his family. I felt somewhat sorry for him. He didn't seem to have many friends besides his team mates, you couldn't really class family as friends as they had to like you no matter what because you are family. The Cullen's and the Hales sat at the same table as always, talking only among themselves. None of them, especially Edward, glanced my way again. It was odd that Edward didn't come up to see me at all. He was so nice the day of the accident but it seemed like now he was avoiding me. Did his father tell him, maybe he knew. No his dad couldn't have said anything about it. He couldn't due to the confidentiality thing, doctors couldn't say anything to anyone right, that's how it works. Ok well maybe his father didn't tell him but maybe he told him to stay away from me. He could have without telling him why, I mean I would understand if he did. I wasn't looking forward to biology after lunch I had a feeling it was going to get worse.

He was already seated when I got to Biology, looking straight ahead. I sat down, expecting him to turn toward me. He showed no sign that he realized I was there.

"Hello, Edward," I said pleasantly, to show him I was going to behave myself.

He turned his head a fraction toward me without meeting my gaze, nodded once, and then looked the other way.

He sat as far away from me as possible. He didn't look at me at all during the class. Maybe he was regretting saving me from Tyler's van, I mean what else could it be, well aside from his father telling him to stay away from me. I wanted to talk to him to find out why he was avoiding me. I couldn't work up the courage to. I didn't like the two reasons that I thought up as to why he would avoid me. I didn't try to talk to him.

I couldn't take it anymore, Edward avoiding me and everyone fussing over me, I just had to go home. I just couldn't deal with everyone anymore. Charlie said it was ok if I went home, he wouldn't mind if I skipped the last class. So that's what I did. I just left and went home. I had a feeling that things were not going to get better any time soon and I of course was right.

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><p>The next month that followed the accident was uneasy, tense, and, embarrassing. I thought after the first day back everyone would be fine and everything would go back to normal, well as normal as my life is, boy was I wrong.<p>

Every biology lesson when he sat next to me in class, as far from me as the table would allow, he seemed totally unaware of my presence. He didn't even acknowledge me. I was fine with that. It's not like I was interested in him in that way. I wasn't interested in anyone and I would never be, also no one would be interested in me like that after all I was pregnant and once they all found out I bet they would all avoid me.

However even though we did not talk I couldn't help myself from looking at him. He was there all the time and I couldn't help but watch him. I was fascinated by him and I still had no idea why, was it because he saved me or because he was so incredibly handsome – I would like to think it was reason number one. But in class I gave no more notice that he existed than he showed toward me.

I was miserable. And the dreams continued, but they got more and more disturbing. The all focused on people leaving me. I don't know why, I couldn't figure them out. They always made me wake up during the night and it took forever for me to get back to sleep. It was every night for the past month. I didn't get a peaceful night's sleep and it was starting to get to me.

I sent Renee a few emails during the past month to try to prove that I was fine. Despite my outright lies, the tenor of my e-mails alerted Renée to my depression, and she called a few times, worried. She tried to convince me to go back to Phoenix and a few times she even suggested that she come to Forks. I couldn't face her yet; it was just too hard, so I convinced her to stay away. She didn't push me or try to force me to tell her anything. For that I was thankful. Charlie must have said something to her about it. I know Renee and she must have been trying extremely hard to not bring it up. She didn't talk about the pregnancy either. I was glad that she was giving me my space. I know that in time I would talk to her about what happened and the baby but right now I wasn't ready.

Charlie had been at home a little more lately as well. He must have been worried. I actually had to force him to go fishing with his buddies. He was trying to be supportive and there for me. He hadn't really spoken about what had happened or the pregnancy either. It was probably an uncomfortable conversation for him to have. It was nice to have him around more, we never really spent enough time together and having him around more made me realise this. I actually missed having my dad around. This was a nice change for once, something positive.

Mike, at least, was pleased by the obvious coolness between me and my lab partner. I could see he'd been worried that Edward's daring rescue might have impressed me, and he was relieved that it seemed to have the opposite effect. He grew more confident, sitting on the edge of my table to talk before Biology class started, ignoring Edward as completely as he ignored us. I felt like telling him my secret because I knew if I did he would run but I wasn't quite ready for that one yet. I was amazed as it was that someone from the hospital hadn't said anything. But then again they couldn't due to patient confidentiality.

The snow washed away for good after that one dangerously icy day.

Mike was disappointed he'd never gotten to stage his snowball fight, but pleased that the beach trip would soon be possible. The rain continued heavily, though, and the weeks passed.

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><p>So here I was, at school on Thursday, at lunch sitting down with my group of friends. Hoping that the rest of the day would go by quickly. I so wasn't looking forward to this afternoon. I just wanted the day to be over and be wrapped up in my blankets in my warm bed. However I wasn't so lucky and right now Jessica was going on and on about some upcoming dance. I was trying to ignore her but she was relentless. She was rambling on about the girls' choice spring dance, which was in two weeks.<p>

"So you're not going to ask him?" Jessica whisper asked me, we were sitting at a full table and he was sitting a few seats down. The him she was referring to was Mike, she was worried that I was interested in him because he was spending so much time following me around like a lost little puppy. I can't believe Jessica thought that I was interested in him.

"No I'm not going to ask him. You go ahead." I replied.

"Are you sure you don't mind… you weren't planning to ask him?" she persisted when I told her I didn't mind in the least.

"No, Jess, I'm not going," I assured her. Dancing was glaringly outside my range of abilities and I didn't feel like going with a guy.

"It will be really fun." Her attempt to convince me was half-hearted. I suspected that Jessica enjoyed my inexplicable popularity more than my actual company.

"You will have fun with Mike, don't worry about me." I encouraged and I knew she would completely forget about me when she was there, she just wanted to make sure that I wasn't interested in Mike. I know how girls like her work.

With that the bell rang. I got up and dumped my tray in the bin, then headed for my next class – biology. I knew it would be like the past month, Edward would totally ignore me and I would ignore him. It was like we had an invisible feud going and I had no idea why. It was somewhat annoying especially if we had to do a lab and actually communicate. Thankfully today it seemed like we would be just listening to the teacher talk, good, so I can just take notes and I don't have to look at him.

I noticed that my leg kept jumping up and down, it's a nervous twitch I have, and let me tell you I was definitely nervous today. I also kept staring at the clock. I was nervous about this afternoon's appointment. Charlie had convinced me to go see one of Dr Cullen's colleagues and talk about what had happened. I wasn't looking forward to it but it was making Charlie happy. I didn't want him to worry about me and this seemed like a way to help him stop worrying about me.

I went through the rest of the school day hardly paying attention. I was on auto pilot as I made my way out to my truck. I didn't want to go I don't think I was ready to talk but it had happened 7 weeks ago, well almost 8 weeks, I don't know if I'd ever be ok with what happened or if I would ever be ready to talk but I guess you never know if you don't try. All Charlie asked me to do was try and I was going to do that for him. I started my truck and headed towards the hospital.

I sat in my truck for a while just staring at the hospital. I wasn't ready to do this, I didn't feel ready. I started to hyperventilate; there was no way I could do this. I put my head down on the steering wheel. I tried to even out my breathing but nothing was working, I was going to be late if I didn't go in now. I just couldn't get my brain to work properly. Then all of a sudden there was a tapping at my window. I jumped and looked up, it was Dr. Cullen. I opened my door to see what he wanted.

"Hello Bella. Are you ok?" He asked me with a concerned look on his face.

"I'm fine." I replied.

"You have been sitting out here for a while. You sure everything is ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine just working up the courage to go in." I said. "I have an appointment."

"I see. Would you like me to walk you in?" He asked. "I can show you where to go."

"Um, sure. That would be good. Thanks."

Dr Cullen seemed like a nice man. Shame his son wasn't the same. Dr Cullen helped me out of my truck and walked me into the hospital. We made our way through the corridors until we came to the waiting room for Dr. Stewart's office.

"Take a seat Bella, I will go and let them know that you are here."

I just nodded in acknowledgement and took a seat. Then after Dr Cullen spoke to the lady behind the desk he came and took a seat next to me. He didn't say anything more, he just waited with me. It was nice of him to do that. He honestly seemed like he cared.

Not too long later someone called my name. It was finally time, I didn't want to get up. Dr Cullen must have noticed because he squeezed my hand and helped me to stand. I turned to face him and he just nodded and smiled. I took a deep breath and followed the lady into the office.

I walked into a small room, the room had a two couches in the middle as well as an office desk off to the side. It was pained a neutral beige colour. The lady who walked in told me that Dr Stewart would be here in a few minutes and to take a seat. I sat down on one of the couches and just took in the room, looking at the diplomas and artwork on the wall.

Dr Stewart walked into the room then, she was dressed professional in a pencil skirt and white blouse. I didn't know if I could do this anymore. I wish I didn't come.

"Hello Bella," Dr Stewart said, "You don't mind me calling you Bella do you? Dr Cullen said you prefer it."

"Hi and Bella is fine." I replied nervously.

"Ok so Dr Cullen hasn't told me anything about you or why you are here." She stated. I just nodded. "It's up to you how much you want to tell me and when you feel like you can tell me. I won't push you. You have taken the first step in actually coming here." With that she smiled at me.

I didn't know what to say or how to start. It was overwhelming. I decided to just tell her that I had no idea what to say, honestly was best right.

"I um don't really know what to say or how to like start." I said

"That's ok Bella. Why don't you start with telling me a little about yourself, it doesn't have to be about what made you come here just anything in general."

I seemed like a good idea. I guess she was trying to make me feel comfortable with her.

"Ok well I just moved back to Forks to stay with my Dad, Charlie. I use to live with my Mom in Phoenix. She remarried, Phil he plays baseball and they move around a lot, so I decided to move back here. It's nice here, I like it." I rambled. I hated when I rambled but I couldn't help it.

"So what made you move back here, just your Mom remarrying or something more?" Dr Stewart asked.

Ok so it is an innocent question but I think she knew that it would be a major reason not just because of Renee and Phil.

"There is another reason." I said as I looked away and fidgeted with my ring.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" She asked.

I just looked at her I don't know if I could. Oh screw it, Charlie, Renee and Dr. Cullen knew what harm could it do if one more person knew, so I nodded. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves.

"It was because of a guy." Wow, I so chickened out. I looked at Dr Stewart and she didn't look like she was judging me like I thought she would be she was just listening. I guess it could just be like ripping off a band aid you had to do it fast and just get it over with quickly. That would work, I know I needed to talk about it and she was here to listen and help me. I know I was stalling.

"He was a little too interested in me and I didn't like him like that, he was a bit creepy now that I think about it. I was so stupid. I didn't like him and he didn't get it I guess. He forced himself on me." I took a breath and continued, "He wouldn't take no for an answer. Why does someone do that? How come he didn't stop when I asked? He just wouldn't stop, I screamed at him to stop but he wouldn't. He raped me and it wasn't fair. I didn't want to. He forced himself on me and now he doesn't have to deal with the repercussions of it. I do and it's just not fair."

I didn't notice that I was crying. I had tears streaming down my face. Dr Stewart handed me a tissue and I wiped my eyes and blew my nose. God this was embarrassing. I can't believe I just blurted it out like that.

"Bella it is good that you are admitting what happened. If you need to cry then cry, don't keep it bottled up inside of you. It will eat you up inside. Now I don't know what it feels like to go through something as traumatic as you have and I will not try to act like I have." She said, "Nothing anyone says or does is ever going to change what happened to you. Talking about it is one way to start to come to terms with what happened."

She paused for a moment before continuing. " Bella what do you mean that you have to deal with the repercussions of it" She asked.

Well she might as well know everything I guess. She probably would find out sooner or later and I guess I was going to need to talk about this at some point.

"I um I'm pregnant." And with that I started balling my eyes out. I couldn't stop, the tears they just kept falling. I felt like a total idiot but I couldn't make myself stop. Dr Stewart handed me the whole box of tissues at that point, she must have know that one tissue wouldn't be enough this time.

"Bella." She said trying to get my attention. I looked up at her then. "How far along are you?" She asked.

"Um about 7 weeks or so." I stuttered as I wiped my eyes.

"Have you made any decisions yet?"

"Yeah I'm keeping it." I replied.

She just nodded. It seemed like she was thinking of something. I decided to beat her to the chase. I knew what she was thinking.

"You must think I'm an idiot for keeping it." I said laughing. I thought I was an idiot and I guess everyone would too.

"I don't think you are an idiot Bella, I think you are very brave. Not only are you in the beginning stages of talking about what happened but you are doing something incredible by keeping that baby. Not everyone can do that. It shows that you are a strong young woman to go through with the pregnancy." She smiled at me. "Do you feel like talking more or have you had enough for today? It's ok if you don't feel like talking more today. You have done really well. You have turned up here today and also admitted what happened and those two things right there are two big steps that you have taken to dealing with what happened to you."

I honestly didn't feel like talking. The lack of sleep, my crying jag I just went on and the stress of actually being here, I felt like I was drained and I couldn't take anymore.

"Um I've had enough?" I said, well it was more like a question.

"That's fine Bella. I want you to do something for me. How do you feel about writing?" Dr Stewart asked.

"Yeah it's alright." I had no idea where she was going with this.

"I want you to do some homework. It doesn't need to be much but I want you to keep a journal and write down anything, what you think, feel about anything and everything. It doesn't have to be about what happened. Just write what you feel. It might help you in feeling more comfortable with talking, if you first write down everything. You don't have to show me if you don't want to but just so long as you do write something. It can be as short as one sentence or words that you feel just put pen to paper Bella."

I nodded. I already started doing this. It helps a little I guess.

"I've already started doing that." I said.

"Well that's good Bella. I hope that you will come back for another session with me. We are only just starting but of course it is up to you if you come back. I hope that you feel comfortable enough to talk to me. If you do decided to make another appointment, bring your journal with you. As I said you don't need to show me what you write." Dr Stewart said.

"I think I will come back." I stated. She seemed nice enough and I hope that this would help me.

"Well that is good Bella." With that Dr Stewart stood up and I did too. Our session was over. She walked me out to the front office and spoke to some woman behind the desk for a moment before talking to me again. "Bella would you like to meet again on Tuesday? Or is that too soon? I would like to see you at least twice a week but if that is too much for you we can just make one appointment for you."

"Um Tuesday is good." I replied.

"Ok Bella well I will see you Tuesday at 3.30pm."

With both said goodbye and headed in separate directions. I walked out to my truck relieved that it was over. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, which was good. I made it home and decided to organise dinner. I wanted to keep busy. I set the table as I cooked. It was something simple tonight pasta.

As soon as Charlie walked into the house dinner was ready. Perfect timing I thought. We ate in silence for a while. Charlie keep looking at me, probably wondering how today went. He knew I had an appointment with Dr Stewart.

"I went Dad, like I said I would." I figured he was wondering if I had actually gone. I know if I were him I would be wondering that too.

"Bells I knew you would have gone. When you say you're going to do something you generally do." He stated.

"Dr Stewart is nice." I figured that he wanted to know how it went and he wasn't one to really pry or ask a million questions about it.

"That's good. So you feel comfortable with her then?" He asked.

"Yes"

"Good, good. Do you think you will go back?"

"Yes. Tuesday." I responded.

"I'm glad Bells, you need to talk about it."

With that we both went back to eating our dinner in silence. Once we had finished dinner I started washing the dishes. Charlie took a beer from the fridge and started to head into the living room.

"Bells you might want to call Renee, she knows you had an appointment today."

I just nodded. I was dreading this conversation but I knew I would have to tell Renee about it sooner or later. I finished the dishes and then decided to call Renee.

The conversation wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. She actually listened to me and didn't push me for information. I told her the basics, that I went and spoke to Dr Stewart, that she asked me to keep a journal and that I was going to see her again on Tuesday. She seemed happy with the information I supplied her with.

After I finished talking to her, I went up stairs to do my homework. I hadn't had time to actually do it yet. I went through my homework quickly and then got ready for bed. Today had been a draining day and I didn't have the energy to stay awake any longer. I really hoped that something changed at school tomorrow. I just couldn't deal with Edward's cold shoulder, Mike, Tyler and Eric being my personal followers. It was just plain annoying and I hated to see what they all would do next and hopefully tomorrow would bring change. Something needed to change and go my way for once, I felt like the universe at least owed me that.


	12. Chapter 11: Mixed Messages

**A/N I know I haven't updated in a while, sorry bout that. I am hoping that I might be able to update again in a day or two fingers crossed hopefully I get time.  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p>Chapter 11: Mixed Messages<p>

The next morning I woke up and I felt like crap. I didn't want to get out of bed but unfortunately I had to. I ran to the bathroom and vomited. I felt a little better after but not great. I washed my face and rinsed my mouth out before headed down stairs. I wasn't sure if I wanted to eat breakfast.

"You alright Bells?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah. I guess the morning sickness has started." I replied.

"Your Mom had it pretty bad when she was pregnant with you." He stated, "Eat plain crackers, they seemed to help your Mom. Ok I have to go to work, see you tonight Bells"

"Thanks. See you tonight."

With that Charlie got up and left for work. I decided against having breakfast and went to the cupboard to get out some crackers, hopefully they work. I left them on the counter and went to get ready for school. Hopefully I would have to be sick at school because that would be embarrassing and people might start to talk.

When I got to school I was feeling better, so that was good. Jessica wasn't waiting for me which was somewhat weird, the past month she was waiting for me in the parking lot. Her car was here so she wasn't running late, maybe something else came up. I decided that she probably had something to do and I'd catch up to her in class.

Jessica didn't acknowledge me as I walked into Trig and took my seat next to her. This was weird, normally she can't stop talking to me. I wonder what has happened, I don't think I've done anything to upset her. When we walked from Trig to Spanish she didn't talk to me like normal either. This day started out crappy and now it was just getting worse. I brushed it off maybe she was just having a bad day, everyone has those. By the time Spanish was over I was going to ask her what was wrong but the look she gave me made me think again about asking her.

At lunch I was totally confused, Jessica sat at our table but as far away from me as possible. This wasn't Jessica's normal behaviour, normally she is chewing my ear off with her talking. Also he generally sits on top of Mike but he was sitting opposite me. Then it finally hit me maybe Mike turned her down, maybe she asked him to the dance and he turned her down. I know how much she likes Mike and I felt sorry for her. Mike seemed off as well, he was awfully quiet during lunch as well.

Mike was still quiet as he walked me to class, the uncomfortable look on his face a bad sign. But he didn't speak until I was in my seat and he was perched on my desk. As always, I was electrically aware of Edward sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if he were merely an invention of my imagination.

"So," Mike said, looking at the floor, "Jessica asked me to go with her to the spring dance."

"That's great, Mike." I made my voice bright and enthusiastic. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."

"Well…" He floundered as he looked up and examined my smile, clearly not happy with my response. He was probably hoping that I would ask him or something. "I told her that I had to think about it."

"Mike, why would you do that?" I let disapproval colour my tone, though I was relieved he hadn't given her an absolute no, there was still hope that they would go together.

His face was bright red as he looked down again, fiddling with his hands. Pity shook my resolve but I had to stay strong and let him know I wasn't interested, which honestly I definitely was not interested in Mike or anyone else here for that matter. If I keep telling myself that I might actually start believe myself.

"I was wondering if… well, if you might be planning to ask me." He mumbled.

I paused for a moment, hating the wave of guilt that swept through me. Why did he hope that, didn't I make myself clear that I wasn't interested. However it didn't escape my notice that I saw, from the corner of my eye, Edward's head tilt reflexively in my direction – interesting. Why did Edward care? This was the first time in a while that it seemed like he noticed that I was actually sitting next to him. He looked annoyed I don't know why but he was shooting daggers at Mike, kind of like he was jealous, but why would he be. Edward doesn't like he, he hasn't spoken to me in weeks.

"Mike, I really think that you should tell her yes," I said. I honestly didn't want to hurt his feelings, why were guys so clueless sometimes.

"Did you already ask someone?" Did Edward notice how Mike's eyes flickered in his direction? Did Mike think that I was going to ask Edward to the dance? In my head I started to laugh. Honestly guys definitely are not that perceptive. Did he not notice how I never spoke to Edward?

"No," I assured him, trying to keep a straight face. "I'm not going to the dance at all."

"Why not?" Mike demanded.

I didn't want to get into the safety hazards that dancing presented, so I quickly made new plans, and anyway what did Mike care. I didn't want to go anyway.

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," I explained. I needed to get out of town anyway — it was suddenly the perfect time to go. At least I wasn't lying I did need to go.

"Can't you go some other weekend?" He asked. Was he hopeful that I would ask him to go, Mike really must not notice how I act towards him. I see him as only a friend why didn't he get this.

"Sorry, I can't I do really need to go," I said. "So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer — it's rude."

"Yeah, you're right," he mumbled, and turned, dejected, to walk back to his seat. I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to push the guilt and sympathy out of my head. I shouldn't feel guilty, I don't like him that way and it's not fair on him. Mr. Angel began talking. I sighed and opened my eyes. I should look like I'm paying attention.

Of course when I opened my eyes and I felt like I was being watched. I was right, Edward was staring at me curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration even more distinct now in his green eyes.

I stared back, surprised, expecting him to look quickly away like he normally does. But instead he continued to gaze with probing intensity into my eyes. There was no question of me looking away, even if I wanted to I don't think I could have. My hands started to shake. This was not me, I don't know what was happening to me. Why was I so captivated by Edward Cullen. It was frustrating at best. It was weird for the past few weeks he didn't even so much as look at me and now all of a sudden he is looking at me. I was getting mixed messages from him, sometimes it felt like he didn't want to talk or look at me and other times it was like he wanted to but something was stopping him. It was seriously giving me whiplash.

"Mr. Cullen?" the teacher called, seeking the answer to a question that I hadn't heard. I didn't even hear the teacher ask a question I was too captivated my Edwards piercing green eyes.

"The Krebs Cycle," Edward answered, seeming reluctant as he turned to look at Mr. Angel.

I looked down at my book as soon as his eyes released me, trying to find my place. Cowardly as ever, I shifted my hair over my right shoulder to hide my face. I couldn't believe the rush of emotion pulsing through me — just because he'd happened to look at me for the first time in a half-dozen weeks. I couldn't allow him to have this level of influence over me. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy, wrong of me to feel this way. I didn't even know or understand why I felt this way. I couldn't feel this way not me I was damaged, broken beyond repair.

I tried very hard not to be aware of him for the rest of the hour, and, since that was impossible, at least not to let him know that I was aware of him. Why did he all of a sudden have to look at me like that, I honestly didn't understand it. He has never looked at me like that before, it was somewhat frustrating. When the bell rang at last, I turned my back to him to gather my things, expecting him to leave immediately as usual.

"Bella?" His voice shouldn't have been so familiar to me, as if I'd known the sound of it all my life rather than for just a few short weeks. Not that I had heard his voice much since the day of the accident. We have not had a conversation since that day.

I turned slowly, unwillingly. I didn't want to feel what I knew I would feel when I looked at his too-perfect face. My expression was wary when I finally turned to him; his expression was unreadable. He didn't say anything. Which frustrated me to no end, he was the one that called my name.

"What Edward? Are you speaking to me again?" I finally asked, an unintentional note of petulance in my voice.

His lips twitched, fighting a smile. "No, not really," he admitted.

What the hell then. I felt like screaming. I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly through my nose, aware that I was gritting my teeth. I didn't want to let him get to me and I wanted to keep my cool. I took a few more deep breaths as he waited.

"Then what do you want, Edward?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed; it was easier to talk to him coherently that way.

"I'm sorry." He sounded sincere. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really it is."

I opened my eyes to look at him. His face was very serious. I had no idea what he was talking about, what was better this way?

"I really don't know what you mean," I said, my voice guarded.

"It's better if we're not friends," he explained. "Trust me. We shouldn't be friends."

My eyes narrowed. I'd heard that before. Maybe he did know and wanted nothing to do with me, had he come to the wrong conclusions about why I'm in this situation in the first place.

"Well it's just too bad you didn't figure that out earlier, isn't it." I hissed through my teeth getting angrier by the second. "You could have saved yourself all this regret."

"Regret?" The word, and my tone, obviously caught him off guard. "Bella regret for what?" His voice was soft and laced with confusion. He obviously didn't know what I was talking about.

"For not just letting that stupid van squish me." I replied

He was astonished. He stared at me in disbelief. A lot of emotions flashed across his face it was hard to decipher what was going through his mind.

When he finally spoke, he almost sounded mad. "You think I regret saving your life?"

"I know you do," I snapped. That had to be it right? What else could it be?

"You don't know anything." He was definitely mad. "I definitely do not regret saving your life Bella."

I turned my head sharply away from him, clenching my jaw against all the wild accusations I wanted to hurl at him. I just needed to get out of there before I said something I would regret. I gathered my books together, then stood and walked to the door. I meant to sweep dramatically out of the room, but of course I caught the toe of my boot on the door jamb and dropped my books. I stood there for a moment, thinking about leaving them. Then I sighed and bent down to pick them up. He was there; he'd already stacked them into a pile. I stood up and my head started to spin, I quickly reached out for the door handle and closed my eyes for a moment hoping the dizziness would pass quickly. I was grateful it didn't last long and when I opened my eyes Edward looked concerned but he didn't say anything just handed my books to me. I did not get Edward his emotions changed more than mine it was weird to understand him sometimes. I shook it off.

"Thank you," I said icily, I still wasn't in a good mood from our previous conversation.

His eyes narrowed. "You're welcome," he retorted.

I straightened up swiftly, turned away from him again, and stalked off to Gym without looking back. I was too mad at the moment.

Gym was brutal, nothing new there. We'd moved on to basketball. My team never passed me the ball, so that was good, but I fell down a lot. Sometimes I took people with me. Today I was worse than usual because my head was so filled with Edward. I tried to concentrate on my feet, but he kept creeping back into my thoughts just when I really needed my balance.

It was a relief, as always, to leave. I almost ran to my truck; there were just so many people I wanted to avoid. I really was over this day and wanted to just forget about it. Mike and Edward were both doing my head in.

I almost had a stroke when I rounded the corner and saw a tall, dark figure leaning against the side of my truck. Then I realized it was just Eric. I started walking again. At least it wasn't Edward or Mike or else I would have walked home.

"Hey, Eric," I called.

"Hi, Bella." He replied enthusiastically.

"What's up?" I asked as I was unlocking the door. I wasn't paying attention to the uncomfortable edge in his voice, so his next words took me by surprise.

"Uh, I was just wondering… if you would go to the spring dance with me?" His voice broke on the last word and I could tell he was nervous.

"I thought it was girls' choice," I said, too startled to be diplomatic. This so was not happening again really.

"Well, yeah," he admitted, shamefaced.

I recovered my composure and tried to make my smile warm, it wasn't his fault I kept thinking. "Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day."

"Oh," he said. "Well, maybe next time."

"Sure," I agreed, and then bit my lip. I wouldn't want him to take that too literally, there definitely was not going to be a next time.

He slouched off, back toward the school. I hope that I didn't upset him too much, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I heard a low chuckle.

Edward was walking past the front of my truck, looking straight forward, his lips pressed together. Great he probably heard the conversation I had just had with Eric. I yanked the door open and jumped inside, slamming it loudly behind me. I was beyond mad at this point. I quickly put the key into the ignition and I revved the engine deafeningly and reversed out into the aisle. Edward was in his car already, two spaces down, sliding out smoothly in front of me, cutting me off. He stopped there — to wait for his family; I could see the four of them walking this way, but still by the cafeteria. What on earth was his problem really, couldn't he just wait for them to get in his car before pulling out and blocking the exit. I considered taking out the rear of his shiny Volvo, but there were too many witnesses. Plus Charlie would probably be annoyed with me for damaging someone else's car on purpose, because it would definitely have been on purpose. I looked in my rear view mirror. A line was beginning to form. Directly behind me, Tyler Crowley was in his recently acquired used Sentra, waving. I was too aggravated to acknowledge him.

While I was sitting there, looking everywhere but at the car in front of me, I heard a knock on my passenger side window. I looked over; it was Tyler. I glanced back in my rear view mirror, confused. His car was still running, the door left open. I put the passenger window down.

"I'm sorry, Tyler, I'm stuck behind Cullen." I was annoyed — obviously the holdup wasn't my fault – couldn't he see that.

"Oh, I know — I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." He grinned.

This could not be happening. Seriously, I felt like screaming, first Mike, then Eric and now Tyler, I could not believe my luck. In Phoenix no one was interested in me, well besides one but that's another story, but here it was like they were falling over themselves to get to me. I honestly do not know how much longer I could deal with this. Maybe I should just tell everyone and get it over with and then they would all back off.

"Will you ask me to the spring dance?" he continued.

"I'm not going to be in town, Tyler." My voice sounded a little sharp. I had to remember it wasn't his fault that Mike and Eric had already used up my quota of patience for the day.

"Yeah, Mike said something about that," he admitted.

"Then why —" I started to say but was cut off by Tyler

He shrugged. "I was hoping you were just letting him down easy, you know that you weren't interested in them. I was hoping that you might want to go with me"

Okay, it was completely his fault.

"Sorry, Tyler," I said, working to hide my irritation. "I really am going out of town that day."

"That's cool. We still have prom." He said as he winked at me.

And before I could respond, he was walking back to his car. I could feel the shock on my face. I looked forward to see Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper all sliding into the Volvo. In his rear view mirror, Edward's eyes were on me. He was unquestionably shaking with laughter. My foot itched toward the gas pedal… one little bump wouldn't hurt any of them, just that glossy silver paint job. I revved the engine. I really was tempted to just nudge it not do any real damage but I thought of Charlie and decided against it.

But they were all in, and Edward was speeding away. I drove home slowly, carefully, muttering to myself the whole way.

When I got home, I decided to make chicken enchiladas for dinner. It was a long process, and it would keep me busy. I just needed to keep busy, I had too much to deal with and today didn't help matters. While I was simmering the onions and chillies, the phone rang. I was almost afraid to answer it, but it might be Charlie or my mom and if I didn't answer they would be worried.

I was lucky, it was only Jessica, and she was jubilant; Mike had caught her after school to accept her invitation. I celebrated with her briefly while I stirred. Obviously she was mad at me today maybe she thought I lied to her about Mike but at least that was sorted and she was now going to the dance with him. She had to go, she wanted to call Angela and Lauren to tell them. I suggested — with casual innocence — that maybe Angela, the shy girl who had Biology with me, could ask Eric. And Lauren, a standoffish girl who had always ignored me at the lunch table, could ask Tyler; I'd heard he was still available. Jess thought that was a great idea. I also thought it was one way to get them both off my back. Now that she was sure of Mike, she actually sounded sincere when she said she wished I would go to the dance. I gave her my Seattle excuse.

After I hung up, I tried to concentrate on dinner — dicing the chicken especially; I didn't want to take another trip to the emergency room.

But my head was spinning, trying to analyse every word Edward had spoken today. What did he mean, it was better if we weren't friends?

My stomach twisted as I realized what he must have meant. He must see how absorbed I was by him; he must not want to lead me on… so we couldn't even be friends… because he wasn't interested in me at all, so he had known about my secret after all, that was the only explanation for it.

Of course he wasn't interested in me, I thought angrily, my eyes stinging — a delayed reaction to the onions. I wasn't interesting. And he was. Interesting… and brilliant… and mysterious… and perfect… and beautiful.

Well, that was fine. I could leave him alone. I would leave him alone. I would get through my self-imposed sentence here in purgatory, and then hopefully some school in the Southwest, would offer me a scholarship or not. I had a baby on the way and there was no way I could go to College. Maybe I could take night classes at a local community college or something once I finished high school. I doubt that I would be able to leave Forks for a while, I don't think I could afford to especially with a baby. But I could at least dream for a while. I focused my thoughts on sunny beaches and palm trees as I finished the enchiladas and put them in the oven.

Charlie seemed suspicious when he came home and smelled the green peppers. I couldn't blame him — the closest edible Mexican food was probably in southern California. But he was a cop, even if just a small town cop, so he was brave enough to take the first bite. He seemed to like it. It was fun to watch as he slowly began trusting me in the kitchen.

"Dad?" I asked when he was almost done.

"Yeah, Bella?"

"Um, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to Seattle for the day a week from Saturday… if that's okay?" I didn't want to ask permission — it set a bad precedent — but I felt rude, so I tacked it on at the end. Hopefully he wouldn't put up too much of a fuss about it.

"Why?" He sounded surprised, as if he were unable to imagine something that Forks couldn't offer.

"Well, I wanted to get few books — the library here is pretty limited — and maybe look at some clothes and maybe look at stuff I might need for later." I didn't want to come out and say it, nobody had said it yet we didn't really talk about it anyway I had more money than I was used to having, since, thanks to Charlie, I hadn't had to pay for a car. Not that the truck didn't cost me quite a bit in the gas department. But I should start to think about buying things in preparation at least.

"That truck probably doesn't get very good gas mileage," he said, echoing my thoughts.

"I know, I'll stop in Montesano and Olympia — and Tacoma if I have to."

"Are you going all by yourself?" he asked, and I couldn't tell if he was suspicious I had a secret boyfriend – yeah maybe not that - or just worried about car trouble, or me being in Seattle by myself.

"Yes." I replied, who else would I go with.

"Seattle is a big city — you could get lost," he fretted.

"Dad, Phoenix is five times the size of Seattle — and I can read a map, don't worry about it." I tried to soothe him.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked.

I tried to be crafty as I hid my horror. I definitely did not feel like having him come along with me, I needed to be by myself. I quickly came up with a reason so he wouldn't want to come, hopefully this would be enough to prevent him from coming with me.

"That's all right, Dad, I'll probably just be in dressing rooms all day — very boring." That was 100% untrue. I would not be in dressing rooms at all but he didn't need to know that. I would just buy clothes and hoped that they fitted.

"Oh, okay." The thought of sitting in women's clothing stores for any period of time immediately put him off, thanks to my quick thinking.

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

"Will you be back in time for the dance?" He asked.

Grrr. Only in a town this small would a father know when the high school dances were. Did he honestly think I would want to go.

"No — I don't dance, Dad and besides I don't think it would be fair to whoever I went with you know, considering everything." He, of all people, should understand that — I didn't get my balance problems from my mother.

He did understand. "Oh, that's right," he realized and quickly dropped the subject for which I was grateful.

The rest of the night passed quickly. I was in a routine now which was good, I liked things to be somewhat the same. I did the dishes, quickly showered, did my homework and even had time to read before I went to sleep.


	13. Chapter 12: So Are We Friends?

**A/N Ok I know I said I would post in a day or 2 but of course I have been called into work everyday and haven't had time to write! So here is Chapter 12, the longest chapter yet just over 10,000 words. **

**If you want to know when I'm going to update or how I'm going with writing etc. follow me on twitter - link is on my profile. Because I know I do post in the A/N when I plan to update but that doesn't always work out as planned, so twitter is an quick way to just update you on the status of the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 12:<strong> So are we friends?

My weekend passed without incident. I spent most of the mornings having intimate moments with the toilet bowl. The toilet and I are really great friends now considering I spend all of 2 hours straight sitting in front of it on Sunday morning. I didn't feel like doing much and I also felt like crap so I just stayed around the house. I had to kick Charlie out of the house Sunday morning, he was worried about me and offered to stay home but of course there was nothing he could do so I almost had to literally kick him out of the house to go fishing with his friends.

So my weekend consisted of doing homework, watching crappy TV, spending a few hours in the bathroom but I also managed to bake a cake which was good and it was a surprise for Charlie. He really appreciated it and the fact that I made it from scratch surprised him even more. I wasn't looking forward to school on Monday considering the Friday I had. I just had to suck it up I guess and just deal with it I guess. Hopefully Mike, Eric and Tyler were going to be ok and had their dates by now for the dance. I swear it was a stroke of genius for me to tell Jessica about who the girls could ask. It should get them off my back for a while until they finally realise why I turned them down, they would probably thank their lucky stars when they realise. I went to bed Sunday night hoping that Monday would be a good day, I needed to have a good day.

The Monday morning, when I pulled into the school parking lot, I deliberately parked as far away as possible from Edward's silver Volvo. I didn't want to put myself in the path of too much temptation and end up owing him a new car, especially after the incident on Friday and with the morning I've had so far I was ready to let someone have it. My morning consisted of me emptying my breakfast as well as last night's dinner into the toilet numerous times. I hope that this morning sickness would pass and sooner the better. Getting out of the driver's seat, I fumbled with my key and it fell into a puddle at my feet. I groaned, figures my day wouldn't get any better. As I bent to get it, a white hand flashed out and grabbed it before I could. I jerked upright a little too quickly and the world started to spin. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths before I opened my eyes only to find Edward Cullen was right next to me, leaning casually against my truck.

"How do you do that?" I asked in amazed irritation.

"Do what?" He held my key out as he spoke. As I reached for it, he dropped it into my palm, all the while smiling at me.

"Appear out of thin air. I didn't even see you there." I responded.

"Bella, it's really not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant sometimes." His voice was quiet as usual — velvet, muted.

I scowled at his perfect face. His eyes were such a bright green and completely captivating. Then I had to look down, to reassemble my now tangled thoughts. Damn those eyes of his.

"What was with the traffic jam on Friday afternoon?" I demanded, still looking away. "I thought that you were supposed to be pretending that I don't exist, but here you are irritating me to death."

"Oh that was completely for Tyler's sake, not mine. I had to give him his chance to ask you." He snickered.

"You… You" I gasped. I couldn't think of a bad enough word to use. It felt like the heat of my anger should physically burn him, but he only seemed more amused. He did that on purpose but why.

"And by the way I'm not pretending that you don't exist," he continued.

"So what you're trying to irritate me to death instead? You know since Tyler's van didn't do the job for you?" I responded, my patience wearing thin.

Anger flashed in his emerald eyes. His lips pressed into a hard line, all signs of now humour gone. I couldn't understand why he was looking like he was mad. I couldn't work him out, he didn't want to be friends but yet he was now talking to me. It was a little weird and oh so very frustrating.

"Bella, you are utterly absurd you know that," he said, his low voice cold but extremely intense.

My palms tingled — I wanted so badly to hit something. I was surprised at myself. I was usually a nonviolent person. I turned my back and started to walk away, I had enough of his cryptic messages.

"Bella wait please," he called. I kept walking, sloshing angrily through the rain. But he was next to me, easily keeping pace.

"Bella I'm sorry, that was extremely rude of me," he said as we walked towards the school buildings. I ignored him, hoping he would just give up and walk away. "I'm not saying it isn't true," he continued, "but it was rude to say it, anyway."

"Why won't you just leave me alone? You said you didn't want to be friends but yet you're here talking to me. It kinda defeats the whole not being friends thing you know. " I grumbled.

"I actually wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," he chuckled.

He seemed to have recovered his good humour. Honestly his moods where giving me whiplash, I thought I was meant to be the moody one, with me and being pregnant and all.

"Do you have a multiple personality disorder or something?" I asked severely, maybe he had a medical condition or something.

"You know you're doing it again and I don't by the way." He said smiling at me. I looked at him confused. "I don't have a multiple personality disorder or anything like that." He said laughing. "So can I ask you something?"

I sighed, might as well get this over with so we can go back to the whole not being friends. "Fine sorry. What is it that you want to ask me then?"

"I was just wondering if, a week from Saturday — you know, the day of the spring dance —"

"Are you for real, are you trying to be funny or something? Because you know what it isn't working," I interrupted him, wheeling toward him. I honestly saw red. This so wasn't happening right now. My face got drenched as I looked up at his expression.

His eyes were wickedly amused, too amused. He was enjoying this. "Will you please allow me to finish? You might be surprised you know."

I bit my lip and clasped my hands together, interlocking my fingers, so I couldn't do anything rash. It would be a shame to damage his handsome face even though I really felt like hitting him right now for this stupid little stunt he was pulling.

"Yeah well I highly doubt that but go on then." I responded.

"I heard you say that you were going to Seattle the day of the dance, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride." He asked.

That was completely unexpected and he was right I was surprised. This was so confusing. He didn't want to be friends but yet wanted to give me a ride to Seattle. Why would he want to do that?

"What?" I wasn't sure what he was getting at. Did I hear him right? And why now was he talking to me and trying to be nice?

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?" He repeated again a little slower this time.

"A ride to Seattle with who?" I asked, mystified.

"Myself, obviously." He enunciated every syllable, as if he were talking to someone mentally handicapped.

I was still stunned but still managed to choke out. "Why?"

"Well, I heard that you were planning on going to Seattle and well I was also planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, I thought we could go together and also to be honest, I think it would cost a fortune in gas for you to drive your truck to Seattle." He said.

"Excuse me." I started to walk again, but I was too surprised to maintain the same level of anger. Seriously what was he playing at here.

"Can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?" He matched my pace again. Honestly what did he care.

"I really don't see how that is any of your business and honestly why would you care?" Stupid, shiny Volvo owner, he could probably get there in one tank. Why did he care if I could or not. This conversation is just getting weird.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business." He replied quickly.

"Honestly, Edward." I felt a thrill go through me as I said his name, and I hated it. I shouldn't like him and I can't like him it's not right. "I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend and now all of a sudden you want to drive me to Seattle."

"Ah Bella I actually said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be your friend. There is a difference." He said smiling at me.

"Oh, well thanks, now that's all cleared up." Heavy sarcasm. I realized I had stopped walking again. We were under the shelter of the cafeteria roof now, so I could more easily look at his face, which certainly didn't help my clarity of thought.

"It would be more… prudent for you not to be my friend," he explained carefully. "But I'm honestly tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella. I don't think I can stay away from you anymore."

His eyes were gloriously intense as he uttered that last sentence, his voice smouldering. I couldn't remember how to breathe. What did he mean he was tired of staying away from me? I didn't understand at all what he was trying to say. He always talks so cryptic.

"Will you go with me to Seattle?" he asked, still intense.

I couldn't speak yet, so I just nodded, I was still trying to decode his smiled briefly, and then his face became serious.

"You really should stay away from me you know," he warned. "I'll see you in class later Bella."

He turned abruptly and walked back the way we'd come. I made my way to English in a daze. I was still going over the conversation in my head. I was trying to convince myself that I was the one that needed to stay away from Edward Cullen. He completely had it back the front, he wasn't the one that needed to warn me it was the other way around, I needed to say that to him, to warn him that it was in his best interest to keep his distanced from me. But I couldn't, I didn't want to, I don't know why but Edward Cullen intrigued me and I couldn't find it in me to walk away and that scared me. I opened the door to my classroom and I didn't even realize when I first walked in that class had already started.

"Thank you for joining us, Miss Swan," Mr. MacDonald said in a disparaging tone.

I flushed a bright red and hurried to my seat.

It wasn't till class ended that I realised that Mike wasn't sitting in his usual seat next to me. I felt a twinge of guilt. I hope that he wasn't upset about the other day. But he and Eric both met me at the door as usual, so I figured I wasn't totally unforgiven. Mike seemed to become more himself as we walked, gaining enthusiasm as he talked about the weather report for this weekend. The rain was supposed to take a minor break, and so maybe his beach trip would be possible. I tried to sound eager, to make up for disappointing him yesterday. It was hard; rain or no rain, it would still only be in the high forties, if we were lucky. Not my idea weather for going to the beach. I really didn't feel like going but it probably would make Charlie happy knowing that I had made friends and had plans to do something. I needed to make Charlie think that everything was fine and that I was happy here.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. It was difficult to believe that I hadn't just imagined what Edward had said, and the way his eyes had looked. Maybe it was just a very convincing dream that I'd confused with reality. I mean I had been having weird dreams lately maybe I just imagined it, that's possible I guess. That seemed more probable than that I really appealed to him on any level. I mean why would he want to be with me anyway, he was gorgeous and I was well plain looking at the very least, he obviously came from a wealthy family and I didn't and there was one thing that I think he could know about. My Secret. I haven't said anything to anyone and either has Charlie, the only the people that knew were the people at the hospital – stupid accident- and I'm sure his father would have warned him to stay away from me at the very least. I think he probably could come up with his own assumptions as to why his father would tell him to stay away from me, I mean any father would do that. I mean who wants their teenage son to be put in that situation anyway. I really needed to stop thinking about Edward Cullen, it wasn't right. But why was I so fascinated by him? I'd never felt this before towards anyone and it really is freaking me out.

So I was impatient and frightened as Jessica and I entered the cafeteria. I wanted to see his face, to see if he'd gone back to the cold, indifferent person I'd known for the last several weeks. Or if, by some miracle, I'd really heard what I thought I'd heard this morning. Jessica babbled on and on about her dance plans — Lauren and Angela had asked the other boys and they were all going together — completely unaware of my inattention. I was glad that they were all going to go together, I was grateful that my plan had actually worked. One less thing to worry about at the moment.

Disappointment flooded through me as my eyes focused on his table. The other Cullen siblings were there, but he wasn't. Had he gone home or was he just running late? Why did I care if he was in the cafeteria or not? I shook my head and tried to stop myself from focusing on Edward Cullen. It wasn't healthy.

I followed the still-babbling Jessica through the line, crushed and disappointed. I'd completely lost my appetite — I bought nothing but a bottle of lemonade, yet again. I knew I needed to eat more than just the lemonade but I couldn't bring myself to look through the food, I just wanted to go sit down and sulk. I remembered that I had the crackers in my pocket – before I left the house each morning I'd grabbed a hand full and stuffed them into my pockets- they would do until I got home anyway. Hopefully I could keep them down, on the weekend my body decided that it didn't like food at all and just about everything I ate I brought straight back up. Not a very nice feeling and it was starting to get to me.

"Bella, Edward Cullen is staring at you again," Jessica said, finally breaking through my abstraction with his name. "I wonder why he's sitting alone today. He normally doesn't sit alone. That's like really weird. He never sits alone. I wonder what's changed." She rambled on.

My head snapped up, when Jessica mentioned Edwards name. I followed her gaze to see Edward, smiling crookedly, staring at me from an empty table across the cafeteria from where he usually sat. Ok definitely different. Once he'd caught my eye, he raised one hand and motioned with his index finger for me to join him. As I stared in disbelief, he winked. What was he doing sitting alone? Was he motioning for me to go over there? What does this mean? Is he serious?

"Does he mean you?" Jessica asked with insulting astonishment in her voice. "He can't mean you, right?" Jessica looked around us obviously trying to figure out who he wanted.

"Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework," I muttered for her benefit.

"Um, I guess I better go and see what he wants."

I could feel her staring after me as I walked away, she could probably burn me to ash with the look she was probably giving me now. She obviously liked Edward, I mean who wouldn't he was amazing.

When I reached his table, I stood behind the chair across from him, unsure of what to do and what was going on here. This was completely different to his normal behaviour and by the looks everyone around were giving they were shocked.

"Bella, why don't you sit with me today?" he asked, smiling.

I sat down automatically, watching him with caution. He was still smiling. It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be real. I was afraid that he might disappear in a sudden puff of smoke, and I would wake up. I was unsure of what to do or say.

He seemed to be waiting for me to say something, for me to break the ice or something. I honestly couldn't really think of anything to say to him.

"Well this is ... this is different," I finally managed.

"Well…" He paused, and then the rest of the words followed in a rush. "I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly you know."

I waited for him to say something that made sense. That made no sense at all, damn him and his cryptic sayings. The seconds ticked by.

"You know I don't have any idea what you mean by that," I eventually pointed out.

"I know." He smiled again, and then he changed the subject. "I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you from them."

"They'll survive without me for a while, it won't kill them." I could feel their stares boring into my back.

"You know I may not actually give you back to them, though," he said with a wicked glint in his eyes.

I gulped. What did he mean by that? My patience was wearing thin and I was going to get up soon and walk away, as hard as that would be I wasn't in the mood for his cryptic crap right now.

He laughed. "You a look a little worried there Bella."

"No," I said, but, ridiculously, my voice broke. "Surprised, actually… what brought all this on? I mean normally you just sit with your family this is somewhat different."

"I told you before — I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." He was still smiling, but his green eyes were extremely serious.

"Giving up? What do you mean giving up?" I repeated in confusion, great cryptic messages. Could he not say something without it being cryptic, I wonder if he knows he does that?

"Yes — giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may. I guess you never know what could happen if you don't act, it might be different this time." His smile faded as he explained, and a hard edge crept into his voice. "I hope it's different." I don't think he meant for me to hear that as he whispered that part.

"You lost me again." My head was spinning trying to figure out what he meant.

The breathtaking crooked smile reappeared and he shook his head.

"You know I always say too much when I'm talking to you — that's one of the problems I guess."

"Don't worry —right now I honestly don't understand any of it," I said wryly. Well it was true I didn't.

"I'm counting on that right now at least." He said smiling.

"So, in plain old English, are we friends now? Or what?" I asked. I at least needed to ask that. I mean we could be friends right? That's all we could ever be and I hope that we could be. He seemed nice enough.

"Friends…" he mused, dubious.

"Or not," I muttered quickly. Maybe he still didn't want to be friends.

He grinned. "Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you." Behind his smile, the warning was real. I couldn't understand what he meant. I was someone that probably wasn't a good enough friend for him however I didn't voice that out loud.

"You say that a lot you know," I noted, trying to ignore the sudden trembling in my stomach and keep my voice even. I pulled out a cracker and started to eat it. I so did not want to have to run to the bathroom.

"Yes, well you're still not listening to me. I'm still waiting, hoping for you to believe it. If you're smart, you'll avoid me." He said seriously.

"I think you've made your opinion on the subject of my intellect clear, too." My eyes narrowed. Why did he want me to avoid him, it should be the other way around. "Anyway it's probably the other way around." I muttered, hopefully not loud enough for him to hear it. I actually didn't mean to say that out loud.

He smiled apologetically at me. Ok maybe he heard me.

"So, what you're saying is as long as I'm being… not smart, we'll try to be friends?" I struggled to sum up the confusing exchange. I didn't even think that it was possible.

"That sounds about right." He replied.

I looked down at my hands wrapped around the lemonade bottle, not sure what to do now. I was debating about getting up and leaving and staying here. I wanted to get up and leave because he just told me I needed to be not smart to be his friend and that was somewhat insulting but I couldn't get up. Something was stopping me from getting up and walking away but I couldn't figure it out.

"What are you thinking?" he asked curiously.

I looked up into his deep green eyes, became befuddled, and, as usual, blurted out the truth.

"I'm trying to figure out why you would say something like that." It was true. He could either know my secrete or know something was up, although I could be completely wrong and it could be about him and his warning was real and serious.

His jaw tightened, but he kept his smile in place with some effort.

"Are you having any luck with that?" he asked in an offhand tone.

"No, not too much," I admitted.

He chuckled. "Ok well what are your theories then?"

I blushed. There was no way I could say anything about it because he could not know and I could unfortunately tell him or he could know something was up and I could just confirm his suspicions. I so did not know what to do.

"Won't you tell me?" he asked, tilting his head to one side with a shockingly tempting smile.

I shook my head. "Probably not a good idem."

"That's really frustrating, you know," he complained.

"No," I disagreed quickly, my eyes narrowing, he had now used up the last of my patience, "I can't imagine why that would be frustrating at all — just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what they could possibly mean… now, why would that be frustrating?"

He grimaced.

"Or better," I continued, the pent-up annoyance flowing freely now, seems like he is a good target for my frustrations at the moment, "say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things — from saving your life one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that, either. That, also, would be very non-frustrating."

"You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?"

"Yeah well you have used up my patience for the day now haven't you." Well that was true and I can't believe I just admitted that to him. I internally groaned. I normally didn't let people get to me and let them know that they were.

We both stared at each other, unsmiling. You could cut the tension with a knife it was that bad.

He glanced over my shoulder, and then, unexpectedly, he snickered.

"What?" I asked him, obviously something had caught his attention behind me.

"Your boyfriend doesn't seem to be too happy that your sitting with me." He snickered again.

"I don't know who you're talking about, I don't have a boyfriend" I said frostily. "But I'm sure you're wrong, anyway."

"I'm not. I can tell he is annoyed. The look on his face is priceless." He said while trying to hold in a laugh.

"Well I'm sure it is but I don't have a boyfriend so I don't know why he cares." I stated.

I had to look away from the intensity of his stare. I concentrated on unscrewing the lid of my lemonade. I took a swig, staring at the table without seeing it.

"Aren't you hungry? I don't think those crackers would be satisfying enough for lunch" he asked, distracted.

"No, I'm fine." I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full — of butterflies. "You?" I looked at the empty table in front of him.

"No, I'm not hungry. I had a big breakfast. " He said casually.

"Can you do me a favour?" I asked after a second of hesitation. He probably wouldn't do me a favour and he didn't owe me one, if anything I owed him for saving me from Tyler's van.

He was suddenly wary. "That depends on what it is you want."

"It's not much or hard really," I assured him.

He waited, guarded but curious.

"I just wondered you know … if you could warn me beforehand the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good. Just so I'm prepared." I looked at the lemonade bottle as I spoke, tracing the circle of the opening with my pinkie finger.

"That sounds fair and reasonable." He was pressing his lips together to keep from laughing when I looked up. Why was he trying not to laugh? He was so infuriating.

"Thanks I guess."

"Then can I have one answer in return?" he demanded.

"One is ok I guess." I replied.

"Tell me one theory." He asked smiling at me. Oh he was good.

Whoops. "No, Not that one definitely not that one."

"You didn't qualify, you just promised one answer," he reminded me. "Just one theory — I won't laugh."

"Oh I'm not worried that you would laugh." I was positive about that.

He looked down, and then glanced up at me through his long black lashes, his green eyes scorching.

"Please?" he breathed, leaning toward me.

I blinked, my mind going blank. Holy crow, how did he do that?

"Err, what?" I asked, dazed. I couldn't think properly.

"Please tell me just one little theory you have as to why I am saying we shouldn't be friends." His eyes still smouldered at me.

"Um, well, no I shouldn't" I replied.

"Oh come on I won't bite." He said, "Please or just tell me a clue or something."

"Ok well either you know something about me or it's about you. That's all I'm going to say." I said.

"Why would I know something about you and tell you it's a good idea to stay away from me?" he asked suddenly serious again.

"I don't know." I lied, hopefully he wouldn't know that I was lying.

"You do know or else you wouldn't have said something. You do know I'll figure it out eventually," he said.

"Oh I have no doubt you will eventually." I said.

"Really and how do you know that?" he asked.

"Oh everyone will find out eventually." I can't believe I just said that. I am such an idiot.

"Ok then." He said, confusion lacing his voice. "You know I actually wasn't thinking it had something to do with you, you know. I was actually stating it because of me but you have just thrown me, and that is hard to do. I wasn't expecting you to say that."

"Oh so it is something to do with you then. What are you a bad guy or one that gets into trouble or something along those lines?" I asked.

"Well, what if I'm not a good guy but a bad guy?" He smiled playfully, but his eyes were impenetrable.

"Oh," I said, as several things he'd hinted fell suddenly into place. "I see."

"Do you?" His face was abruptly severe, as if he were afraid that he'd accidentally said too much.

"You're dangerous, right?" I guessed, my pulse quickening as I intuitively realized the truth of my own words. He was dangerous. He'd been trying to tell me that all along. Why couldn't I have seen it?

He just looked at me, eyes full of some emotion I couldn't comprehend.

"But not bad," I whispered, shaking my head. "No, I don't believe that you're bad. You couldn't be bad. I mean you saved me from Tyler's van. Why would you do that if you were a bad guy?" How could he be bad, I mean he saved me from that van. He couldn't be completely bad if he did that.

"You're wrong. You know." His voice was almost inaudible. He looked down, stealing my bottle lid in the process and then spinning it on its side between his fingers. I stared at him, wondering why I didn't feel afraid. He meant what he was saying — that was obvious. But I just felt anxious, on edge… and, more than anything else, fascinated. The same way I always felt when I was near him. Why was I drawn to him? I've never felt this way before and it is actually starting to scare me a bit, this is not normal.

The silence lasted until I noticed that the cafeteria was almost empty.

I jumped to my feet. "We're going to be late to biology." I stated.

"I'm not going to class today," he said, twirling the lid.

"Why not?" I asked confused.

"It's healthy to ditch class now and then." He smiled up at me.

"Well, I'm going," I told him. I was far too big a coward to risk getting caught.

He turned his attention back to his makeshift top. "I'll see you later, then."

I hesitated, torn, but then the first bell sent me hurrying out the door — with a last glance confirming that he hadn't moved a centimetre.

As I half-ran to class, my head was spinning faster than the bottle cap. So few questions had been answered in comparison to how many new questions had been raised. At least the rain had stopped. At least something positive had happened.

I was lucky; Mr. Angel wasn't in the room yet when I arrived. I settled quickly into my seat, aware that both Mike and Angela were staring at me. Mike looked resentful; Angela looked surprised, and slightly awed. Obviously they had different opinions about my company during lunch.

Mr. Angel came in the room then, calling the class to order. He was juggling a few small cardboard boxes in his arms. He put them down on Mike's table, telling him to start passing them around the class.

"Okay, guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box," he said as he produced a pair of rubber gloves from the pocket of his lab jacket and pulled them on. The sharp sound as the gloves snapped into place against his wrists seemed ominous to me. "The first should be an indicator card," he went on, grabbing a white card with four squares marked on it and displaying it. "The second is a four-pronged applicator —" he held up something that looked like a nearly toothless hair pick "— and the third is a sterile micro-lancet." He held up a small piece of blue plastic and split it open. The barb was invisible from this distance, but my stomach flipped.

"I'll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don't start until I get to you." He began at Mike's table again, carefully putting one drop of water in each of the four squares. "Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet…" He grabbed Mike's hand and jabbed the spike into the tip of Mike's middle finger. Oh no. Clammy moisture broke out across my forehead.

"Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs." He demonstrated, squeezing Mike's finger till the blood flowed. I swallowed convulsively, my stomach heaving. Oh this so was not going to end well, I could see that now.

"And then apply it to the card," he finished, holding up the dripping red card for us to see. I closed my eyes, trying to hear through the ringing in my ears.

"The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type." He sounded proud of himself. "Those of you who aren't eighteen yet will need a parent's permission — I have slips at my desk."

He continued through the room with his water drops. I put my cheek against the cool black tabletop and tried to hold on to my consciousness. All around me I could hear squeals, complaints, and giggles as my classmates skewered their fingers. I breathed slowly in and out through my mouth. This could not be happening. This was bad, I hated blood. I couldn't stand it.

"Bella, are you all right?" Mr. Angel asked. His voice was close to my head, and it sounded alarmed.

"I ... I already know my blood type, Mr. Angel," I said in a weak voice. I was afraid to raise my head.

"Are you feeling faint?" He asked.

"Yes, sir," I muttered, internally kicking myself for not ditching when I had the chance. I should have ditched with Edward.

"Can someone take Bella to the nurse, please?" he called.

I didn't have to look up to know that it would be Mike who volunteered. He would volunteer to do anything if it involved doing it with or for me. It was kinda of creepy.

"Bella, can you walk?" Mr. Angel asked me.

"Yes," I whispered. Just let me get out of here, I thought. I'll crawl. I don't care so long as I get out of this room.

Mike seemed eager as he put his arm around my waist and pulled my arm over his shoulder. I cringed a little when he did this. I leaned against him heavily on the way out of the classroom. I honestly didn't care about him touching me at this point, I just needed to get out of here and fast.

Mike towed me slowly across campus. When we were around the edge of the cafeteria, out of sight of building four in case Mr. Angel was watching through the windows, I stopped. I just needed to sit for a while.

"Just let me sit for a minute, please?" I begged.

He helped me sit on the edge of the walkway. I took a few deep breaths.

"And whatever you do, keep your hand in your pocket," I warned. I was still so dizzy. I slumped over on my side, putting my cheek against the freezing, damp cement of the sidewalk, closing my eyes. That seemed to help a little.

"Wow, you're actually turning green, Bella," Mike said nervously.

"Bella?" a different voice called from the distance.

No! Please let me be imagining that horribly familiar voice. Please, please let that be someone else and not Edward.

"What's wrong — is she hurt?" His voice was closer now, and he sounded upset. I wasn't imagining it. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to die. Or, at the very least, not to throw up. Wow that would be so embarrassing.

Mike seemed stressed. "I think she's fainted. I don't know what happened, she didn't even stick her finger yet."

"Bella." Edward's voice was right beside me, relieved now. "Can you hear me?"

"No," I groaned. "Go away." I really didn't want him to see me like this, it was stupid my reaction – it was just a little blood. A normal person wouldn't react this way.

He chuckled.

"I was taking her to the nurse," Mike explained in a defensive tone, "but she wouldn't go any farther. She told me to let her sit for a while."

"I'll take her the rest of the way," Edward said. I could hear the smile still in his voice. "You can go back to class now."

"No," Mike protested. "I'm supposed to do it. Mr. Angel told me to take her."

Suddenly the sidewalk disappeared from beneath me. My eyes flew open in shock. Edward had scooped me up in his arms and was now carrying me towards the office.

"Put me down now!" Please, please let me not vomit on him. He was walking before I was finished talking.

"Hey!" Mike called, already ten paces behind us.

Edward ignored him. "You look awful," he told me, grinning. "You alright?"

"Put me back on the sidewalk, please." I moaned. The rocking movement of his walk was not helping. He held me close to his body, — it didn't seem to bother him to carry me. I didn't seem to be bothered with the fact that he had touched me either or was carrying me either. This was weird. He is the only male that I have felt comfortable touching me and that includes Charlie.

"So you faint at the sight of blood?" he asked. This seemed to entertain him.

I didn't answer. I closed my eyes again and fought the nausea with all my strength, clamping my lips together. I was willing myself to not vomit on him.

"And not even your own blood," he continued shaking his head, he was obviously was enjoying himself with this.

I don't know how he opened the door while carrying me, but it was suddenly warm, so I knew we were inside.

"Oh my," I heard a female voice gasp.

"She fainted in Biology," Edward explained.

I opened my eyes. I was in the office, and Edward was striding past the front counter toward the nurse's door. Ms. Cope, the redheaded front office receptionist, ran ahead of him to hold it open. The grandmotherly nurse looked up from a novel, astonished, as Edward swung me into the room and placed me gently on the crackly paper that covered the brown vinyl mattress on the one cot. Then he moved to stand against the wall as far across the narrow room as possible. His eyes were bright, excited. Why was he enjoying this? What kick did it give him?

"She's just a little faint," he reassured the startled nurse. "They're blood typing in Biology and she fainted."

The nurse nodded sagely. "There's always one that does."

He muffled a snicker and I just glared at him.

"Just lie down for a minute, honey; it'll pass soon."

"I know," I sighed. The nausea was already fading, thankfully.

"Does this happen a lot?" she asked.

"Sometimes," I admitted. More recently but for a different reason, I added mentally. Edward coughed to hide another laugh. I felt like throwing something at him, something sharp with a pointed edge to hurt him a little.

"You can go back to class now," she told him.

"I'm supposed to stay with her." He said this with such assured authority that — even though she pursed her lips — the nurse didn't argue it further. How did he do that? Make people believe him so easily?

"I'll go get you some ice for your forehead, dear," she said to me, and then bustled out of the room.

"You were right," I moaned, letting my eyes close and cradling my stomach. I hoped he didn't notice that.

"I usually am — but about what in particular this time?" He asked smugly.

"That ditching is healthy sometimes." I practiced breathing evenly.

"You actually had me scared there for a minute," he admitted after a pause. His tone made it sound like he was confessing a humiliating weakness. "I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods. I thought he had murdered you or something."

"Ha ha." I still had my eyes closed, but I was feeling more normal every minute.

"Honestly — I've seen corpses with better colour. I was concerned that I might have to avenge your murder." He said.

"Poor Mike. I'll bet he's mad." He probably was, he didn't seem to like Edward much.

"He probably absolutely loathes me right now," Edward said cheerfully. He seemed somewhat happy about that and I had no idea why.

"You can't know that," I argued, he couldn't have known for sure.

"I saw his face — I could tell. He definitely wasn't happy." He said laughing.

"How did you see me? I thought you were ditching." I was almost fine now, though the queasiness would probably pass faster if I'd eaten something more for lunch. On the other hand, maybe it was lucky my stomach was empty or it could have been a hell of a lot worse.

"I was in my car, listening to a CD." Such a normal response — it surprised me. I don't know what I was expecting him to say.

I heard the door and opened my eyes to see the nurse with a cold compress in her hand.

"Here you go, dear." She said as she laid the cold compress across my forehead. "You're looking better already," she added with a smile.

"I think I'm fine now," I said, sitting up slowly. Just a little ringing in my ears, no spinning, which was good. The mint green walls stayed where they should. I could see she was about to make me lie back down, but the door opened just then, and Ms. Cope stuck her head in.

"We've got another one," she warned.

I hopped down to free up the cot for the next invalid, glad for an excuse to get up. I felt fine now that I was away from the blood. I handed the compress back to the nurse. "Here, I don't need this anymore. I'm fine really."

And then Mike staggered through the door, now supporting a sallow looking Lee Stephens, another boy in our Biology class. Edward and I drew back against the wall to give them room.

"Oh no," Edward muttered. "Go out to the office, Bella." He added quickly.

I looked up at him, bewildered. Unsure of why he said that.

"Trust me Bella — go now." He stated.

I spun and caught the door before it closed, quickly darting out of the infirmary. I could feel Edward right behind me.

"You actually listened to me." He was stunned.

"I smelled the blood," I said, wrinkling my nose. Lee wasn't sick from watching other people, like me.

"People can't smell blood," he contradicted.

"Well, I can — that's what makes me sick. It smells like rust… and salt." I said while wrinkling my nose.

He was staring at me with an unfathomable expression.

"What?" I asked.

"It's nothing." He said calmly.

Mike came through the door then, glancing from me to Edward. The look he gave Edward confirmed what Edward had said about loathing. He looked back at me, his eyes glum.

"You look better now Bella," he accused.

"Yeah just keep your hand in your pocket," I warned him again, I didn't want to risk it.

"It's not bleeding anymore," he muttered in an irritated tone. "Are you going back to class now?"

"Are you kidding me? I'd just have to turn around and come back."

"Yeah, I guess… So are you going this weekend? To the beach?" While he spoke, he flashed another glare toward Edward, who was standing against the cluttered counter, motionless as a sculpture, staring off into space.

I tried to sound as friendly as possible. "Sure, I said I was in and I meant that."

"We're meeting at my dad's store, at ten." His eyes flickered to Edward again, wondering if he was giving out too much information. His body language made it clear that it wasn't an open invitation. Why did people not like Edward? I couldn't understand it. He seemed nice enough.

"I'll be there," I promised.

"I'll see you in Gym, then," he said, moving uncertainly toward the door. It seemed like he didn't actually want to leave.

"See you later Mike," I replied. He looked at me once more, his round face slightly pouting, and then as he walked slowly through the door, his shoulders slumped. A swell of sympathy washed over me. I pondered seeing his disappointed face again… in Gym. Why did I feel so bad for him? He acted as though someone kicked his puppy or something. I didn't like Mike like that why could he get that?

"Gym," I groaned. Great I so was not in the mood for Gym.

"I can take care of that." I hadn't noticed Edward moving to my side, but he spoke now in my ear. "Go sit down and look pale," he muttered.

That wasn't a challenge; I was always pale, and my recent swoon had left a light sheen of sweat on my face. I sat in one of the creaky folding chairs and rested my head against the wall with my eyes closed. Wow I was tired. Fainting spells always exhausted me.I heard Edward speaking softly at the counter.

"Ms. Cope?"

"Yes Edward? What can I do for you?" I hadn't heard her return to her desk.

"Bella has Gym next hour, and I don't think she feels well enough. Actually, I was thinking I should take her home now. Do you think you could excuse her from class?" His voice was like melting honey. I could imagine how much more overwhelming his eyes would be. How did he manage to do that?

"Do you need to be excused, too, Edward?" Ms. Cope fluttered. Why couldn't I do that? He managed to do it so easily too.

"No, I have Mrs. Goff, she won't mind at all."

"Okay, it's all taken care of. You feel better soon, Bella," she called to me. I nodded weakly, hamming it up just a bit. Hopefully she bought my little act here.

"Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you again? I don't mind either way." With his back to the receptionist, his expression became sarcastic.

"I'll walk, thanks." I replied.

I stood carefully, slowly just in case, and I was still fine. He held the door for me, his smile polite but his eyes mocking. I walked out into the cold, fine mist that had just begun to fall. It felt nice — the first time I'd enjoyed the constant moisture falling out of the sky — as it washed my face clean of the sticky perspiration.

"Thanks," I said as he followed me out. "It's almost worth getting sick to miss Gym."

"Anytime." He was staring straight forward, squinting into the rain.

"So are you going? This Saturday, I mean?" I was hoping he would, though it seemed unlikely. I couldn't picture him loading up to carpool with the rest of the kids from school; he didn't belong in the same world. But just hoping that he might gave me the first twinge of enthusiasm I'd felt for the outing.

"Where are you all going, exactly?" He was still looking ahead, expressionless.

"Down to La Push, to First Beach." I studied his face, trying to read it.

His eyes seemed to narrow infinitesimally.

He glanced down at me from the corner of his eye, smiling wryly. "I really don't think I was actually invited."

I sighed. "I just invited you."

"Let's you and I not push poor little Mike any further this week. We don't want him to snap. I don't think he could handle much more. I think today was hard on him." His eyes danced; he was enjoying the idea more than he should. Maybe he doesn't like Mike.

"Mike-schmike." I muttered, preoccupied by the way he'd said "you and I." I liked it more than I should. That was wrong of me. I shouldn't like that. I shouldn't like him. God this was wrong is so many ways.

We were near the parking lot now. I veered left, toward my truck. Something caught my jacket, yanking me back.

"And where do you think you're going?" he asked, outraged. He was gripping a fistful of my jacket in one hand.

I was confused. "I'm going home, where do you think I'm going?"

"Didn't you just hear me promise Mrs Cope that I would take you safely home? Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition?" His voice was still indignant.

"What condition? And what about my Truck?" I complained. I was actually worried when he said "condition" what did he mean by that?

"I'll have Alice drop it off after school." He was towing me toward his car now, pulling me by my jacket. It was all I could do to keep from falling backward. He'd probably just drag me along anyway if I did.

"Let me go!" I insisted. He ignored me. I staggered along sideways across the wet sidewalk until we reached the Volvo. Then he finally freed me — I stumbled against the passenger door.

"You are so pushy! You know that." I grumbled.

"It's already open," was all he responded. He got in the driver's side.

"You know I am perfectly capable of driving myself home! I don't need to be driven by you!" I stood by the car, fuming. It was raining harder now, and I'd never put my hood up, so my hair was dripping down my back.

He lowered the automatic window and leaned toward me across the seat. "Get in, Bella."

I didn't answer. I was mentally calculating my chances of reaching my truck before he could catch me. I had to admit, they weren't good, and I'd probably just fall over and hurt myself, which is something that I could not afford to have happen.

"I'll just drag you back Bella, no point in trying it." he threatened, guessing my plan.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I tried to maintain what dignity I could as I got into his car. I wasn't very successful — I looked like a half-drowned rat and my boots squeaked. Great, I hope I don't get sick. I didn't even think about that. I should have pulled by hood up.

"This is completely unnecessary, you know that," I said stiffly. "I am perfectly capable of driving myself home."

He didn't answer. He fiddled with the controls, turning the heater up and the music down. As he pulled out of the parking lot, I was preparing to give him the silent treatment — my face in full pout mode — but then I recognized the music playing, and my curiosity got the better of my intentions.

"Clair de Lune?" I asked, surprised.

"You know Debussy?" He sounded surprised, too.

"Not that well," I admitted. "My mother use to play a lot of classical music around the house — I only know my favourites."

"It's one of my favourites, too." He stared out through the rain, lost in thought.

I listened to the music, relaxing against the light gray leather seat. It was impossible not to respond to the familiar, soothing melody. The rain blurred everything outside the window into gray and green smudges. I began to realize we were driving very fast; the car moved so steadily, so evenly, though, I didn't feel the speed. Only the town flashing by gave it away.

"What is your mother like?" he asked me suddenly.

I glanced over to see him studying me with curious eyes. That was a little random.

"She looks a lot like me, but she's prettier," I said. He raised his eyebrows. "I have too much Charlie in me. She's more outgoing than I am, and braver. She's irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she's a very unpredictable cook. She's my best friend." I stopped. Talking about her was making me depressed. Why did I always give him answers even though I shouldn't?

"How old are you, Bella?" His voice sounded frustrated for some reason, I couldn't imagine. He'd stopped the car, and I realized we were at Charlie's house already. The rain was so heavy that I could barely see the house at all. It was like the car was submerged under a river.

"I'm seventeen," I responded, a little confused. I was in the same year as him at school, couldn't he have guessed my age.

"You don't seem seventeen. You know that?" His tone was reproachful; it made me laugh.

"What?" he asked, curious again.

"My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year." I laughed, and then sighed. "Well, someone has to be the adult." I paused for a second, I was always playing the adult in my family and of course I was going to be a mum myself for real. "You don't seem much like a junior in high school yourself," I noted.

He made a face and changed the subject. He didn't like talking about himself much, that I have noticed.

"So why did your mother marry Phil?"

I was surprised he would remember the name; I'd mentioned it just once, almost two months ago. It took me a moment to answer.

"My mother… she's very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. At any rate, she's crazy about him." I shook my head. My mother's relationship with Phil I never really understood and I still don't. The attraction was a mystery to me. I couldn't understand it but then again my mother couldn't really understand me much better either.

"Do you approve?" he asked.

"Does it matter if I approve or not? She is after all the parent." I countered, she was the adult after all. "I want her to be happy… and he is who she wants. As long as she is happy that is all that matters."

"That's very generous… I wonder," he mused.

"What?"

"Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?" He was suddenly intent, his eyes searching mine.

"I-I think so," I stuttered. "But she's the parent, after all. It's a little bit different."

"No one too scary then," he teased.

I grinned in response. "What do you mean by scary? Multiple facial piercings and extensive tattoos?" I laughed, "My mother probably wouldn't be too worried considering the people she has dated previously."

"That's one definition, I suppose." He seemed deep in thought.

"What's your definition?" I asked him.

But he ignored my question and asked me another. "Bella, do you think that I could be scary?" He raised one eyebrow, and the faint trace of a smile lightened his face.

I thought for a moment, wondering whether the truth or a lie would go over better. I decided to go with the truth. "Hmmm… I think you could be, if you wanted to."

"Are you frightened of me now?" The smile vanished, and his heavenly face was suddenly serious.

"No." But I answered too quickly. The smile returned.

"So, now are you going to tell me about your family?" I asked to distract him. "It's got to be a much more interesting story than mine." I wanted to deflect the conversation from me so that I wouldn't tell him anymore than I already had. I swear I would answer any question he asked me and for the life of me I had no idea why.

He was instantly cautious. "What do you want to know exactly?"

"You and Alice are twins?" I verified.

"Yes, we are." He replied.

"Rosalie and Jasper are your adopted brother and sister?" I asked.

"Yes." He responded.

I hesitated for a moment. "What happened to their parents, if you don't mind me asking?"

"They died a few years ago, a car accident." His tone was matter-of-fact.

"Oh," I mumbled.

"They don't really remember them that clearly. Carlisle and Esme have been their adoptive parents for a long time now." He stated.

"You like having them as you brother and sister?" I asked.

"Yes. Rosalie can be quiet hard to get along with but she is my sister and well Jasper is a great brother. The family seems complete with them."

"And you love them." It wasn't a question. It was obvious in the way he spoke of them.

"Yes." He smiled. "I couldn't imagine two better people to have as my brother and sister, well of course besides my biological brother and sister."

"You're very lucky to have them." I replied.

"I know I am."

"And your brother and sister?" I asked.

He glanced at the clock on the dashboard.

"My brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess you have to go." I didn't want to get out of the car.

"And you probably want your truck back before Chief Swan gets home, so you don't have to tell him about the Biology incident." He grinned at me.

"I'm sure he's already heard. There are no secrets in Forks." I sighed as I rolled my eyes.

He laughed, and there was an edge to his laughter.

"Have fun at the beach… good weather for sunbathing." He glanced out at the sheeting rain.

"Won't I see you tomorrow?" I asked.

"No. Emmett and I taking the rest of the week off." He stated.

"What are you going to do?" A friend could ask that, right? I hoped the disappointment wasn't too apparent in my voice.

"We're going to be camping." He replied.

"You're allowed to take almost a whole week off to go camping?" I asked.

"Yeah Carlisle managed to get some time off work and well he decided to take us camping."

I remembered Charlie had said the Cullen's went camping frequently. It's good that they have time like that together as a family and that his parents don't mind them having time off school.

"Oh, well, have fun then." I tried to sound enthusiastic. I don't think I fooled him, though. A smile was playing around the edges of his lips.

"Will you do something for me this weekend?" He turned to look me straight in the face, utilizing the full power of his burning green eyes.

I nodded helplessly.

"Don't be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So… try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?" He smiled crookedly. "Because I'm not going to be there to save you this time."

The helplessness had faded as he spoke. I glared at him. How can he go from nice guy to the most annoying guy on the planet in the space of 5 seconds!

"I'll see what I can do," I snapped as I jumped out into the rain. I slammed the door behind me with excessive force.

He was still smiling as he drove away.


	14. Chapter 13: It Wasn't My Fault!

**A/N ok so here is Chapter 13, I got a chance to write it sooner than I thought I would; thanks to kfoll for the great reviews/comments this chapter came about so quickly due to your lovely feedback and request for an update! Don't know when I will be able to update next :( I'm working the next 3 days but I'll update when I can; hopefully sometimes this week!**

**Btw this chapter hasnt been edited either so if you find a few mistakes I'm sorry it's like 11.30pm here and I really don't have time to edit it, I could but you wouldnt get this chapter for at least 3 more days, so I thought you might want it sooner rather than later!  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 13:<strong> It wasn't my Fault!

Tuesday morning I woke up wishing I didn't. Today was going to be torture for two reasons; one Edward Cullen wasn't going to be at school today or for the rest of the week and two I had my appointment with Dr. Stewart after school. I wonder if anyone would notice if I just stayed home, they probably would, knowing my luck. Before I could debate the pros and cons of staying home I was abruptly reminded that I was pregnant and quickly made my way to the bathroom, I made it just in time too. I was already over the morning sickness and I only hoped that it would go away soon.

I went through my morning routine in a daze really not focusing on what I was doing. I definitely was not looking forward to this afternoon but I knew that I needed to go, but it didn't make it any easier. I ran upstairs quickly to retrieve my journal, just in case Dr. Stewart would want to read it. Writing things down was easier for me than to actually say things. I don't know why that is probably due to having Charlie as my father, he was much the same. I double checked my bag to make sure I had everything before I headed out to my truck.

I arrived at school only to find Jessica waiting for me, she was almost bouncing up and down on the spot. It was somewhat weird. I didn't even get a chance to open my door because Jessica did it for me.

"Hey Bella." She said instantly.

"Oh hey Jess," I replied somewhat hesitatingly, normally Jessica would wait for me to actually get out of my truck before pouncing on me, I wonder what has her excited today.

"So Bella ..." She started before the bell rang. "Crap ok we'll talk in class, come on." She said as she grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards our first class.

I didn't actually realise that I was later than normal to school but for once I was thankful I didn't have to deal with Jessica's questions for a few minutes at least. I had no idea why she was so happy, maybe something happened with her and Mike. That definitely would make her happy. I really hoped that was it I could pretend to be interested and be happy for her.

We walked to class quickly but quietly however that soon changed once we took our seats.

"So Bella, What did Edward want yesterday?" Jessica asked.

Oh no, this isn't about Mike. Why is she asking me about Edward and why is she happy that Edward spoke to me yesterday? This girl is seriously weird.

"Bella, Bella come on quickly before the teacher gets here." She pestered me.

"Um I don't know he never really spoke about anything in particular." I replied.

" So he didn't talk about something specific then?" She questioned further.

"No I don't really think he got to the point. It was somewhat weird." I replied.

"You know you actually looked mad at him at one point." She stated.

"Really, did I?"I kept my expression blank I really didn't want to give anything away. I honestly don't know why Edward spoke to me at lunch. It was just a really weird day. Edward seemed to be running hot then cold and I couldn't keep up.

"You know, I've never seen Edward sit with anyone but his family before. That was really weird. Maybe he might start talking to other people now. Oh Bella maybe you could let me sit with you next time when Edward decides to sit with you, please Bella?" She pleaded.

"Um I don't know if there would be a next time Jess." I replied.

Just then the teacher came into the room relieving me from my mini interrogation from Jessica. For once I was glad the teacher decided to turn up when he did. The rest of the morning passed without incident. Jessica seemed to drop her interest in Edward and my lunchtime conversation yesterday but something told me that it wouldn't be forgotten anytime soon though.

The day got worse when I walked into the cafeteria with Jessica and Mike, I couldn't help myself but look at his table. I was still hoping by some miracle that Edward would be there, he wasn't of course but his Sister and Rosalie were. They were talking amongst themselves, Alice however noticed me looking at their table and smiled at me. I quickly turned away. I couldn't help myself feel somewhat sad that he wasn't here and that I didn't know when was the next time I would see him.

I didn't get a chance to dwell too much as everyone started talking at our table. They were all excited about this weekend, even though it was still a few days away. Obviously it was the highlight of their week, as nothing much ever happened here in Forks. Mike was being extremely animated about the weather man being right, Eric and he were arguing over the effectiveness of the weather man to predict the weather correctly. It was rather amusing to see them get so into it with each other. They actually made a bet at some point, and the loser had to dress up in a dress and wear it to school on Monday. It was rather amusing that they would actually bet on something like that but hey one of them would have to wear a dress, not sure who I would want to see in a dress though , it might scar my brain for life!

During lunch I intercepted a few unfriendly glances from Lauren, which I didn't understand at all. I hadn't really spoken to her since I came here and she didn't know me so I didn't know why she would have a problem with me. However I did find out when we were walking to class after lunch. I was right behind her as we made our way out of the cafeteria, I swear she knew I was right behind her but that didn't stop her from talking about me.

"... I don't know why Bella" – she sneered my name – "Doesn't just sit with the Cullen's from now on, I mean she was practically drooling over Edward yesterday at lunch, I have no idea why he would be interested in her when he can have me." I heard her muttering to Mike and Jessica.

I never noticed it before, probably because I hardly took any notice of her, but her voice was so high pitched and rather annoying. The way she was talking about me it surprised me because she had some much malice behind it. I had done nothing to her but yet here she is talking about me as if I had stolen her boyfriend or something.

"She's my friend Lauren; she sits with us and if you don't like it you don't have to sit with us." Mike whispered back loyalty, but also with a bit of a territorial edge. I paused for a moment to let them get ahead of me, I didn't really want to her this.

The rest of the school day passed without any further incident, for which I was grateful. I couldn't deal with Jessica's questions or Lauren's behaviour towards me it was completely uncalled for. However I seemed to see a pattern forming here; it all had something to do with Edward Cullen. Lauren obviously had tried to get Edward at some point and he turned her down – maybe, and Jessica well I have a feeling she likes him a lot and it only making do with Mike but if something better comes along she is the type of girl to drop him like a fly – I wonder if Mike knows this. Anyway it has nothing to do with me, if they want to go out with Edward I don't care. Ok maybe I do care a little but still it shouldn't matter; he and I just, well we can't be anything else but friends and even then it might still be wrong.

I shook my head and decided there was not point dwelling on the impossible, whatever happens happens right. I started my truck and headed in the direction of the hospital. I was dreading the next hour. My first session wasn't that bad but I really didn't talk much but this time I had a feeling Dr Stewart would want me to talk more and he would ask more difficult questions. I honestly don't know if I was actually ready to answer them or even really think about it for that matter.

I quickly made my way out of my truck and into the hospital. I navigated the hospital corridors and found my way to Dr. Stewarts waiting room, I let the receptionist know that I was here and took a seat. It felt like forever before I was taken into Dr. Stewarts office but really it was more like 5 minutes.

"Good afternoon Bella" Dr Stewart said as I walked in the door, "How are you today?"

'Good afternoon." I replied, "I've been better but I'm ok. How are you?"

Dr Stewart looked at me for a moment before replying.

"I've very well Bella, thank you." She replied. "So picking up from where we left off on Thursday, you told me a little bit about why you came here and the reasons behind it. We didn't really go too in depth with that. How would you feel telling me a little bit more about you time in Phoenix with your mother?" Dr. Stewart asked.

"Um yeah sure. What exactly?" I asked nervously. I had no idea where to start or what to say; did she want me to specifically talk about what happened or just general things.

"Whatever you like? It doesn't have to be about what happened to you, we can just talk about happy things if you like and then we'll talk about the hard things later in the session." She replied.

With that I talked about random things, nothing too deep for which I was thankful. We talked about my mother, Phil, what I liked to do in my spare time and about Phoenix. Then we started to talk about school and I knew where she was headed with that line of thought. She was trying to ease me into talk about him. I felt comfortable talking to her about things but I was still apprehensive about talking about what happened, I knew that would never change if I didn't actually talk about it. Everything I say is confidential anyway it's not like she can tell people what I say which was helping me in finding the courage to actually start to talk about it.

"So when did he start school?" Dr Stewart asked.

He, I shook my head. He had a name. It felt weird to talk about someone when Dr Stewart didn't even know his name, I don't know why I thought it was important. But I knew his name and I hadn't told her or anyone his name yet. I hadn't spoken his name out loud since that happened. I didn't know if I wanted to yet. I decided to ask Dr Stewart a question first before I answered hers.

"If I tell you something you can't tell anyone right, no matter what it is I tell you?" I asked.

"Yes Bella that is correct, what you tell me stays in this room unless you give me permission to tell someone. I promise whatever you tell me stays between us unless you say otherwise." She said reassuringly.

I took a deep breath. "James, his name is James." I said as I looked down at my hands and began to fidget with my ring.

I didn't notice that I had tear streaming down my face. I just said his name and it caused me to cry. I wanted to throw something, hurt someone. I couldn't even say the name James without totally breaking down. He has such control over me even though what happened to me happened 2 months ago. It wasn't fair how one person can have so much control over someone else.

"I'm taking it that this is the first time you said his name since?" She asked.

"Yes." I managed to choke out.

"It's good that you have finally said his name. So Bell when did he start school?" She questioned again.

"About two months before." I responded. "He for some reason liked me. I don't know why. No one ever liked me before, but it was creepy. The way he looked at me, it wasn't normal. Well I didn't think it was normal. He looked at me like I was something to eat or like I was his prize to win. I should have realised sooner what he was like but I thought it was innocent. How was I so stupid to not see it, I should have seen it." I couldn't stop myself from rambling. I just couldn't get my head around him and why he did this. I was angry. I was angry at myself for not seeing it and angry at him for what he did and what he took from me.

I couldn't handle sitting anymore. I got up and I started pacing. I couldn't help it I just couldn't sit still anymore. I felt like I wanted to hurt someone, it's not like me to want to hurt another person but I just couldn't control my emotions right now.

"Bella, tell me what you are feeling or thinking right now?" Dr. Stewart asked me.

I stopped and looked at her for a moment.

"I'm angry." I replied before continuing on with my pacing.

"Why are you angry Bella?" She asked.

"At everything; at myself for not seeing him for who he was, for being so stupid to not see it and for letting him do what he did, I should have stopped him. I should have seen it. I should have fought harder to get him off me. I'm angry at him for what he did. He doesn't have to live with what happened. I do. I have to relive it everyday, every time I close my eyes I see his face. I see his eyes and I hear his voice. It's like he ... it's like he, he is there and it's like I can smell his breath in my face. I have to relieve it every day, deal with it and he, he gets to live his life and without a care in the world. It's ... It's just not fair." I was almost yelling by the time I finished. I was still pacing. I also had tears running down my face. I was angry but I was crying and that pissed me off even more. Why was I crying when I was angry?

"No Bella it's not fair. No one ever has the right to do what he did to you. It is perfectly normal to be angry, to even be angry with yourself. It's a part of the process unfortunately. You will go through so many emotions and feel certain things. Those emotions are natural to have considering what you have been through." She stated, "Bella you did fight didn't you?"

"What?" I asked I had no idea what or where she was going with this. Did she not think I fought back?

"You said you were angry with yourself for not stopping it, did you fight him, tell him to stop?" She asked again.

"Yes I did." I responded.

"Did you try with everything you have to make him stop?"

"Yes but it didn't work. He didn't stop. He enjoyed it, he liked it when I tried to fight him. How can someone like that? I told him no and he just laughed at me. I should have tried harder or done something else." I said as I threw myself down on the lounge again. I couldn't pace anymore. I was drained.

"Bella you said it yourself you tried to fight him off, you tried your best. You told him no. He chose to keep going, to ignore you and what you wanted. It is not your fault. I know that you think that now but hopefully with time you will see that you did everything you could to stop him." Dr Stewart said reassuringly.

"But why didn't he stop." I sobbed.

"Bella, honestly I do not know him or why he didn't stop. But you can't keep thinking about why he didn't stop. You tried to get him to, you said you tried really hard to make him stop. You didn't let him rape you without putting up a fight. You can not blame yourself for this. " She looked at me then. "He is the one to blame he did not listen to you. He didn't stop when he should have. Bella I want you to say this for me out loud ok." She looked at me waiting for my response. I just nodded.

"Say it wasn't my fault, I said no" Dr Stewart said.

I looked at her for a moment. I felt like it was my fault. It must have been my fault.

"Bella do you think it was your fault?" She asked.

I just nodded. It was true I did, in my mind I must have done something to make him do that. Why couldn't she see that?

"Why do you think it was your fault?" She asked. "You tried to fight him off and you said no, didn't you?"

"Yes I did try to fight him off and I said no but it wasn't enough." I replied.

"Bella what else could you have done to stop him?" She questioned.

I don't know I should have tried harder or I honestly don't know but it had to of been my fault. He said it was my fault. I couldn't help it I began to cry harder. He said it was my fault. I was like realisation hit and it hit hard.

"I ... I ... don't ... know." I said between sobs, "he ... he ... said ... it ... was ... my ... my ... fault."

Dr Stewart just nodded her head.

"Bella, some rapists say that, tell the victim that it was their fault, somehow it makes them feel like it wasn't their doing that they were not responsible because somehow the victim brought it on themself. He did that to make you feel like it was your fault to make him feel as though he did no wrong. He said that to you so you would blame yourself and to make him feel as though it was consensual. Somehow he twisted it in his mind to make it as though you wanted to. By telling you it was your fault he believed it and felt that what he was doing was what you both wanted. Even though that isn't true, he believed it. I'm not making excuses for him Bella, this is completely his fault and not yours." Dr Stewart informed me, "Bella, I want you to say that it wasn't your fault."

I nodded and tried to compose myself. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself down.

"It ... wasn't." I closed my eyes. I didn't feel like I could say it. I opened them and Dr Stewart nodded encouragingly. "It wasn't my ... my fault." I let out the breath that I didn't even know that I was holding.

"Bella I want you to keep telling yourself it wasn't your fault. I want you every time you think about what happened and you start to feel as though it was your fault I want you to tell yourself it wasn't. You need to start to believe that you did everything you could to stop him, you said it yourself; you said no and you tried to fight him, you tried to get him to stop." Dr Stewart said.

I just nodded I couldn't form words yet. Dr Stewart said it wasn't my fault. If someone other than me believes that it's not my fault then maybe it isn't. Maybe I didn't do anything to make him do that and I know I said no and I fought him to make him stop. Why did I think it was my fault? He told me it was my fault, but Dr Stewart said that he did that to ease his guilt over what he did, did he know that what he did was wrong? If he did then why did he keep going?

"Bella you did amazingly well today. Admitting it wasn't your fault is a step in the right direction but it will only help if you actually believe it. Honestly from what you have told me. You said no and that should have been enough for any decent human being to stop." Dr Stewart said. "Bella I want you to come again on Thursday and we can talk more about what happened. There is still so much to talk about and help you to deal with. You did extremely well today. I know it was hard but I believe that we can start to help you heal. You're talking about it and today you were able to share things with me and I only hope that this is helping you."

"It is I guess." I replied, "I just ... it's hard ... but I feel comfortable talking to you about it. I want to be able to get on with my life and right now I can't."

"You have a lot to deal with Bella and I hope with time you can get on with your life, I know it may not seem like you ever will but one day you will." Dr Stewart said smiling at me.

"Thank you." I said. It was the only thing I could say, she was helping me a lot. I know I could never talk to Renee or Charlie about this.

"Not a problem Bella. That's what I'm here for and I'm glad this is helping you." She said. "So is Thursday ok for our next session?"

"Yes I'll come back Thursday." I replied and I stood up.

"Good Bella, I'm glad you're willing to talk about what happened. I'll see you on Thursday." She said as she stood up to walk me to the door.

I said goodbye and made my way out to the waiting room. I quickly saw the receptionist to make my next appointment and then I headed out to my truck. I decided to go to the store to pick up a few groceries and sometime simple for dinner, I didn't feel like cooking.

I walked the isles, aimlessly looking for something that I could just throw in the oven and not have to worry about. I quickly found a lasagne and some frozen garlic bread, that was simple enough. I made my way home and of course I beat Charlie home as usual. I decided to start cooking dinner so that it would be ready by the time Charlie got home. Once dinner was on I sat at the coffee table and started on my homework.

I didn't even hear Charlie come home. I was sitting down on the floor in front of the coffee table then all of a sudden a heard a voice behind me. I don't know what came over me but I screamed. It wasn't just a normal scream, I swear someone in Australia could have heard me.

"Bella, it's ok it's just me." Charlie said.

I was breathing so hard and I felt like my heart would jump out of my chest. I just kept thinking it was just Charlie. I kept saying it over and over in my head. I honestly think I must of scared the shit out of Charlie because he came and sat on the floor, hugging me while rocking me.

He just kept repeating "it's ok Bells it's me Dad." I don't know how long we stayed there but the next thing I heard was the buzzer on the oven going off.

"Bells I'm just getting up to take dinner out the oven, ok?" He said while looking at me.

I just nodded and Charlie carefully got up and walked into the kitchen. I don't know why I reacted the way I did. It was just Charlie I should have known. I finally calmed down enough that I got up off the floor and went into the kitchen with Charlie.

When I walked in Charlie looked up at me. I felt so bad then, the look on his face; it was heart-breaking. It looked as though he had been crying. My dad, Charlie he never cries. Ok I have seen him look as though he cried; the day of the accident when Dr. Cullen told him about what happened.

"Dad." I started to say.

"Oh Bells I'm sorry I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that." He said and he shook his head.

"Dad it's not your fault. I guess I'm just a bit on edge after talking to Dr Stewart that's all." I tried to soothe him. It wasn't his fault that I reacted that way. "I'm fine really."

Charlie just looked at me for a moment, before nodding.

"I'll organise dinner."

And with that I started organising dinner for us. Once we sat down Charlie kept looking at me. I knew he felt guilty for the way I reacted before, he had no reason to. I decided to try to make him feel better.

"Today's session went well. Dr Stewart was happy with how it went." I informed him.

"Really Bells, that's great." He said trying to sound enthusiastic but failing miserably; he was still probably upset with himself because of what happened before.

"Um yeah we talked a lot about what happened and yeah she is making me realise things." I said.

This caught his attention and he put down his fork and looked at me.

"What did she make you realise Bella?" Charlie asked me looking concerned.

"That it wasn't my fault." I said as tears started falling down my face.

Charlie got up then and knelt in front of me. He pushed the hair from my face and looked me in the eyes.

"Bella it was never your fault, what he did to you was wrong. You did not deserve what he did to you. Oh Bells it wasn't your fault." Charlie said as he pulled me into a hug.

For once I was glad my Dad was here. I needed my Dad more than ever and I finally just realised that. I know he is not a man of many words and doesn't say or show his feelings but right now I know that this is hurting him too.


	15. Chapter 14: Reliving the Nightmare

**A/N Ok here is chapter 14! This chapter deals with what happened to Bella in some detail so be aware of that. **

**Thanks to kfoll and TheCryingDevil for reviewing! Means a lot to me. Hope you like this chapter! It was a hard one to write!  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 14:<strong> Reliving the nightmare.

Wednesday passed in a blur. I don't actually think anything interesting happened, I didn't really pay attention, I hoped nothing important happened. I was on auto-pilot, just going through the motions as I was still trying to come to terms with the realisation that it wasn't my fault. Being the analyst I am, I always have to go over and over things in my head a million times and actually try to dissect and piece the pieces back together to try to understand. Since that afternoon I have just kept reliving what happened in my head, even though it hurts like hell, but I just have to know and understand in order to come to terms with what happened. I need to dissect every last detail in my head, analyse it until I can make sense of it, even if I don't like what I find or how it makes me feel it will just eat me up inside until it takes complete hold of me and I am no longer living, just being and I can't afford for that to happen.

Thursday at school passed much the same way. I honestly do not know how I managed to go through the motions of school without people noticing my absentmindedness, I was glad that no one noticed. Edward still wasn't in school like he said which for some reason made me sad. I don't know why I felt that way it is not like he really wanted to be friends with me anyway but there is just something about him, I can't pin point what it is at the moment, but something is drawing me to him.

So here I am now, Thursday afternoon, sitting in Dr Stewart's office having my third session with her. I never thought that talking to someone would help but it really is and I am glad that Dr Cullen set this up for me. I really do not know how I would be if I didn't come and talk about it with someone. I know that I am only having my third session but it really has helped. I was drawn out of my inner thoughts by Dr Stewart calling my name.

"Bella, Bella. Did you hear my question?" She asked.

"Oh sorry, I wasn't listening." I replied. We were dealing with some intense issues today and I was somewhat reluctant to talk about it. The session started out well just going over what had happened in Tuesdays session and how I was coping with the fact that it wasn't my fault but she now was starting to actually talk about how it happened and I don't know if I was ready for that yet.

"I asked you if you were ready to talk about what happened? Not just gloss over the details but really talk about what happened and how it made you feel." She asked.

"I don't know if I'm ..." I started. I looked down playing with my ring. I guess there was no good time to talk about it and I would probably never be ready, who is. "Um yeah I guess."

Dr. Stewart nodded. "That's good Bella, for a second there I thought you were going to say no." She stated.

I looked up and her and smiled. "I was." I said while shaking my head.

"Bella I know it is going to be hard to talk about but in order to start to come to terms and hopefully deal with what happened you need to talk about it. We can stop at any time if it gets too much. I don't want to force you if you are not ready." She said reassuringly.

"I know I guess there is no good time to talk about it but I just ... "I turned to look out the window. "I just don't know where to start or what to say."

"It's ok Bella, I can help you. I'll just ask you some questions. You can answer them if you like or just say next if you do not want to answer it. If you have something you want to say then just say it, it doesn't have to be related to the question I ask, also if you want to stop just say the word and we can stop."

I nodded and took a deep breath. I know that this was going to be hard, I had relived that moment in my head a hundred times since and it never got easier but saying the words was going to be a million times worse.

"What day did it happen, was it a school day or weekend?" Dr Stewart asked.

"Um it was a Sunday, Sunday afternoon it happened." I replied. "I remember that day like it only happened yesterday. How it is that when something traumatic happens you can remember everything that happened on that particular day, is it because you try to think what you could have done to change what happened, even though it's already happened. I know I do. I keep thinking what I could have done differently to change it. I just keep replying it over and over in my head that sometimes it just hurts."

"It's normal Bella, especially when something as horrific as what you had to endure happens, you try to tell yourself that if you had of done this or done that it could have changed what happened but Bella you can not change what has happened you need to deal with it and as hard as that is you need to. You're taking steps right now to help to come to terms with it. You have told people, you told Dr Cullen, your parents know and of course I know what you have told me. You are here talking about it with me. It all is helping you step towards the right direction to come to terms with it, I am not going to say that you will get over it, never, but one day you will be able to live with it and it not hurt as much." Dr Stewart stated.

Somehow what she said was somewhat comforting. I know that I will never get over it but being able to live with it and it not hurt as much would be better than what I feel now. I just nodded acknowledging that I understood what Dr Stewart was saying.

"Ok so Bella you said you remember everything that happened that day, tell me about what happened before?" She asked.

"Well I was at home in the morning cleaning, doing laundry and all of that. My mother isn't really that tidy. She always forgets to do the laundry or clean the house and really it is always easier if I just do it, so I did. I remember that I was going to cook something special for dinner because Phil was coming home that night, he had been away for a few days and Mum was excited for him to come home. So I thought it was be nice to cook something special but I was missing some ingredients so I decided to walk to the grocery store." I took a deep breath and started fiddling with my fingers. I knew that I had to keep going, so I did. "I remember getting to the grocery store and he was there. He was with his friends out the front smoking. He made some stupid comment to me and called me babe. It made my skin crawl, just the way he said it. I did my shopping and was leaving the store, I got to the end of the parking lot when he came up behind me. He took the bags from me and informed me that he would carry them. He didn't ask he just took them. I couldn't say no, I tried to. I tried to tell him I was fine with them but he just wouldn't hear it." I needed to stop to breathe, somehow I found breathing hard. I just could get the air into my lungs. I felt like I just said that in one breath.

"Bella Breathe. Take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth." Dr Stewart instructed.

I did as she asked and about 5 minutes later I could finally breathe properly again. I hadn't even gotten to the hard part yet and I found breathing hard.

"It's ok Bella. Do you want to continue?" She asked me smiling.

I needed to go on, I needed to do this. He has already taken so much from me, I am no longer the same girl. I'm just a shell of my old self and I needed to get me back. I realise that it is my choice to make whether or not I try to find me again. Life is made up of different choices and it is the important ones that define who we are and I need to make that choice now. If I don't it might be too hard to find myself again. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

" He insisted on carrying the groceries home for me. Something felt off about it, I should have realised something was wrong. I always got a creepy vibe from him but I didn't listen to my own instincts. He walked me home and the entire time he was looking at me weird. I was like he was undressing me with his eyes." I shuddered at the thought. It was really disturbing and scary the way he looked at me. I can still see his face and the way it looked.

"How did that make you feel, that he was looking at you like he was undressing you with his eyes?" Dr Stewart asked.

"It freaked me out and made me uncomfortable. I mean he sometimes did it at school but this time it felt different. I don't know why. Maybe he knew what he was going to do, I don't know but it really made me uncomfortable." I replied.

"Did you say anything to him about it?"

"No I didn't. I probably should have told him I was fine to carry the bags the rest of the way but I didn't. I just wanted to get home and get rid of him. I thought that if I got home quickly enough he would leave but I was wrong. He insisted on taking the bags inside. I should have realised something was up then but I didn't. It wasn't like he was doing this as a good deed or being a gentleman about it, it felt like he was doing this for a reason." I shook my head. Who was I kidding he did know what he was going to do.

"Doing what for a reason?" Dr Stewart inquired.

"Taking the bags for me. I don't know it was like he had an ulterior motive or something but I didn't realise until he was inside the house." I replied shaking my head.

"What happened when you were inside?"

"He placed the bags on the counter but he bumped into me, and I have a feeling it was on purpose. Just something about it made it seem like he meant to. He asked where my mother was and of course I told him. I think now that it was stupid to actually tell him that, maybe if I had told him that she was on her way home he might have left then." I shook my head I was so stupid.

"Bella you can not change what happened and you do not know if that would have made a difference. He still could have raped you or he could have left. Don't dwell on what could have been, it will eat you up inside thinking of all the possibilities." Dr Stewart said.

I sighed but continued. "Then he started to help me unpack the groceries. I told his that it wasn't necessary but he insisted. He kept finding ways to touch me, it seemed innocent at the time but now not so much. He dropped one of the items on the floor, looking back now I think he did it on purpose but at the time I didn't think anything of it. When I bent down to pick them up he came up behind me, put his hands on my waist and pushed himself against me." I closed my eyes at it was like it was happening before my eyes. I could see everything crystal clear. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. "I could feel him behind me and I knew something was wrong. I stood up and he moved one of his hands under my shirt. I asked him what he was doing and to stop but he just laughed at me. He said that he knew what I wanted and that he was going to give it to me. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about and that I wanted him to leave. Somehow that made him angry." I closed my eyes and leaned back on the couch.

"Why do you think it made him angry?" Dr Stewart asked.

"He said that I had been teasing him. I don't know how, I didn't like him. I was nice to him in school yes but that's as far as it went. I told him I hadn't been teasing him but he just started kissing my neck and said that it was ok he knew what I wanted. He said he wanted it too. He kept calling me baby and it was in a creepy way. He grabbed my hand and put it onto him, and started to rub my hand against him. He said that this is how he knew I was teasing him." I said as a tear slid down my cheek.

"You're doing very well Bella. I know this is hard for you. How did it make you feel when he did that, made you put your hand on his erection?" Dr Stewart asked.

"I felt, I don't know scared and uncomfortable. I had never touched a guy like that before. I hadn't even had sex yet. He took that from me. My first time was because of him and I didn't want it. I don't want to remember my first time as being that. It wasn't fair. I don't want to have those memories." I was yelling by the time I finished. I was getting angry, angry at myself for being an idiot and angry at him for what he took from me. I know it wasn't my fault but I was still angry at myself to some degree.

"It's alright to be angry Bella, he had no right to take that from you." Dr Stewart said comfortingly.

"The funny thing is I knew what was going to happen. I could see it. When he did that I knew what he wanted. I tried to push him off me but he just held on tighter. I told him to let me go but he said he couldn't do that." I sighed and looked out the window. "He then pushed me towards the hallway, I tried to get away from him but he was really strong and he was a lot taller than me, nothing I did made him let go of me."

"You tried to Bella, you told him no and you tried to get him to let go. A lot of rape victims do not fight their attacker but you did. It was brave of you Bella not everyone has the inner strength to try." Dr Stewart said reassuringly.

"I guess but it still did nothing in the end. He still did what he did." I stated.

"What happened after he forced you into the hallway?"

"He found my room, which wasn't hard it was the first door he opened. He pushed me into the room and pushed me down on the bed. I remember the look in his eyes when he looked at me laying on the bed." I shuddered and closed my eyes trying to get that image out of my head but it wasn't working.

"How did he look at you?" Dr Stewart asked.

"I don't know how to explain it but it scared me. He looked excited, there was like a fire behind his eyes but not in a good way, it was like he knew what he was going to do and nothing was going to stop him. He looked determined and the way he licked his lips, I knew what he was going to do was not going to be pleasant. That look in his eyes made me stop completely, I was scared of what he was going to do. I was worried that he wouldn't only rape me but end my life if I tried to fight him. I think at that point I wanted to give up and I wanted it all to be over with. I actually wanted to fight him just so that he would end me."

"What do you mean by end you?" Dr Stewart asked, in a somewhat alarmed tone.

Oh crap maybe I shouldn't have said that to her. I shook my head, I couldn't not tell her I mean I did want him to kill me especially after what he did, maybe that would have been better and I wouldn't be suffering now. I looked at Dr Stewart in the eye.

"I wanted him to kill me. If he was going to do that to me I didn't want to be around to feel what I feel now. I hate feeling this way. I hate being who I am now. I can not let anyone touch me without freaking out. I freaked out on Charlie the other night when he came home and I didn't hear him. I screamed so loud I'm amazed you didn't hear it at your place. It freaked Charlie out too. I hate that it is hurting the people I love. I hate that it is affecting my life so much, what he did is my life now. Oh and to top everything off I'm having his baby. I am having a baby that I shouldn't be having. I should be a normal teenage having fun and not worrying about the fact that I am going to be becoming a mother soon. He gets to live his life without a care in the world but what he did to me it changed everything, nothing is the same. I'm not the same anymore and I hate that." By the time I finished I was yelling and crying. I didn't even notice I was crying, I was so angry.

"Bella. I am not going to lie to you, what you have been through no one should have to deal with or have to endure. You are right, you should be able to be a normal teenager having fun and going out with friends. You shouldn't have to worry about becoming a mother as a teenager. Unfortunately nothing is going to change what has happened to you and as much as I wish we could turn back time to change it we can't. You have a long road ahead of you not only trying to deal with the rape but becoming a mother as well. You are doing extremely well, in my opinion, even if you do not think you are." She looked at me and smiled. "Do you want to continue? I would like to because you are doing extremely well at the moment, you are opening up a lot."

I nodded. I wanted to get it off my chest, Dr Stewart said it should help to talk about it and I wanted to. I was going to need to talk about it anyway or else I would go insane trying to analyse everything in my head.

"So what happened after he pushed you onto the bed?"

I took a breath before continuing "He came to lay on top of me. I can still remember the smell of his breath on my face. He ran his hands under my shirt and up to my bra. He didn't care that I tried to get him off me or that I was crying. He just smiled at me. He enjoyed it. I don't know how someone can enjoy doing that to another person. He started kissing me and telling me that he knew I wanted it and he was going to give it to me." I grabbed a tissue and wiped my eyes before I continued. "He started to unbutton my shirt then and I tried to get him to stop, I told him to stop but he wouldn't he just kept unbuttoning my shirt. I tried hitting him but he grabbed my hands and held them above my head. I tried to kick him in the groin but he had me pinned down. He had his free hand all over me, touching me. I hated him touching me, I made my skin crawl. Once he got my shirt off he started to kiss my chest and then he undid my bra and took it off. I didn't want him to but he didn't care."

I closed my eyes tight. I had Goosebumps all over my arms and it was like I could feel him touching me again. I didn't like that. It was like it was happening again.

"Bella calm down. Breathe, take a few deep breaths. I know this is hard for you. Remember if you want to stop we can." Dr Stewart said soothingly.

"I just don't get why he did it. Why he felt like he could do that to me. He had his hands all over me and he didn't care that I didn't want them on me." I sobbed.

"Bella no one can understand why he did that to you but him. I can not begin to tell you why he felt like he could. Rapists have different reasons as to why they do that to people. Unfortunately I can not tell you a reason as to why he did that to you Bella but I do know that he should have respected your wishes and stopped when you said no. Any man should stop when a woman tells them to." Dr Stewart stated.

"Yeah but he didn't. I just kept going. He kept touching me and kissing me while I said no and was crying. He touched and kissed my breasts and he was enjoying it. He told me he liked it when they fight. I don't know but he enjoyed it when I tried to fight him. So I eventually stopped. I knew what he was going to do anyway. It wasn't like I could stop him and I knew no one would be home for a while so no one would catch him doing that to me. I gave up." I said.

"You gave up. What do you mean you gave up?" Dr Stewart asked.

"I gave up fighting him. I knew I couldn't overpower him and I just couldn't fight anymore. I had no energy left. I just let him after that. He unbuttoned my shorts and pulled them down and I couldn't stop him. He started to undo his belt and I tried to get him off me but I couldn't move. I knew he was too strong for me. He took off his belt and tied my hands up in it so I couldn't move them. He told me if I moved my hand from above my head that he would make it worse. I don't know how he could have made it worse." I was full on crying now, I have never cried this hard ever. I had not really cried about what happened since. Yes I got upset and I did cry but nothing like this.

"Bella you did what you thought was the only thing that could save you. You did not know what he was capable of. He could have killed you, you don't know. You're doing extremely well Bella. What happened next Bella?" Dr Stewart said reassuringly.

"Once he tied my hand up with his belt he ripped my panties off me. He looked at me then, analysing me if felt like. He kept licking his lips and he had an evil looking smile. I have nightmares about his face looking at me like that. He unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down along with his boxers." I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself I felt like I was going to hyperventilate again. I wiped my eyes with a tissue. I knew I had to continue, I had come this far. "He said that he was going to like this and that he knew I would too. How did he know I would like it? Didn't me telling him no show that I didn't want to and that I wasn't going to like it? It was like he couldn't see that or he didn't care. Then he pushed himself into me. It hurt on so many levels. I was crying and trying to scream but he covered my mouth with his hand. He kept talking to himself. He was enjoying it. Why was he enjoying it? He just kept going, he was grunting and kissing my neck. "

I could no longer talk my tears had taken over and I was having trouble breathing. My face was soaked in tears my nose was all stuffy. I noticed that I was shaking. How long had I been shaking for? I started rocking back and forth on the couch. I just wanted to forget. I wanted to be me again. How can one person's actions wreck my entire life? I finally got my breathing under control.

"I hate him. I hate how he makes me feel." I yelled as my sobs started to get louder.

"How does he make you feel Bella?" Dr Stewart asked.

I looked at her, he made me feel a lot of things. I didn't know where to start.

"He makes me feel used, dirty, angry, sad, betrayed. I just ... everything. I hate that I can not trust people. I'm scared that it is going to happen again. I don't ever want to be with someone. I don't want someone to want me. No one should want me. I'm broken beyond repair." I mumbled. I started crying harder again.

"Bella you have done extremely well. I'm not going to push you to talk about it anymore today. You have had enough. Try to breathe Bella." Dr Stewart said. She said other things but I just couldn't listen to her. I was going over everything in my head. I needed to understand why but I don't know why he did it. "I'm going to call your father. You are in no state to drive at the moment. Is that ok?" She asked.

I just nodded. She was probably right. I looked at the clock. Our session was meant to end 30 minutes ago. I looked at Dr Stewart she was on the phone. She came back and sat down.

"Your father will be here in a few minutes." She said.

"Our session was meant to end 30 minutes ago." I stated

Dr Stewart looked at the clock. "I know, my next appointment cancelled. I didn't mind going over our time especially when you were talking about it so openly. I know that it would have been hard for you."

I just nodded. I didn't have any energy left. I just was drained. I wanted to crawl into my bed and never get out. Not long after Charlie came to get me. He was let into Dr Stewarts office and he looked at me. He was worried I could tell.

"Hello Chief Swan, I'm Dr Stewart."

"Hi, nice to meet you." Charlie said while shaking her hand and looking at me.

"Bella had a tough session and we both felt like she shouldn't drive home." Dr Stewart stated.

"Thanks for calling me. Come on Bells lets get you home." Charlie said.

I followed Charlie out to his cruiser. I noticed that he kept glancing at me from the corner of his eye. I know he was worried but I just couldn't tell him I was fine. I was far from it at the moment. I know that this is helping me and it will in the long run but right now talking about it made it feel real again.


	16. Chapter 15: Beach Trip

**A/N Ok so Edward isn't a vampire however he still doesn't go to the beach trip, and there is a reason for it!**

**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 15:<strong> Beach Trip

Once I got home from my session with Dr Stewart I went straight to my room. I didn't want to talk to anyone, let alone be around anyone. I was still going over everything in my head. I guess it helped talking about it but it still hurt to actually say it out loud. I decided to write in my journal, I needed to get it out. You would think I would be over talking about it let alone write about it but I just couldn't help myself. I needed to analyse what Dr Stewart said. So I wrote. I don't know how long I was writing for before Charlie knocked on my door.

"Bells dinner is here. Do you want me to grab you a plate and bring it up for you?" Charlie asked.

"Um yeah thanks." I replied.

I didn't even realise the time. It was 7.30, I had been up here writing for 2 hours. It didn't feel like it had been that long but I guess that is why my hand was starting to hurt. It was nice of Charlie to order take out and not try to cook, that would have been bad. He would have either burnt the house down or cooked something completely inedible. Not long later there was another knock on my door and I got up to open it for Charlie.

"Here Bells. I just ordered pizza. How you doing kiddo?" He asked.

"Ok I guess."

Charlie nodded. "Bells if you don't feel like going to school tomorrow, take the day off. It's ok, I'll call the school if you want."

"It's ok Ch-Dad I'll go, probably better to keep myself busy."

"Well ok then. I'll be down stairs if you need me." And with that Charlie let to go down stairs.

The rest of the night passed without me leaving my room, ok well I left once to go have a shower and get ready for bed. I was not only emotionally drained but physically as well. So I headed to bed early at 9pm.

Friday passed quickly, for which I was grateful. Lunch was interesting. Everyone at our table was excited about the beach trip tomorrow. I decided to play along and act happy about it. I didn't want to bring everyone else down with my foul mood. Mike checked again to make sure I was coming and I assured him I was, which of course made him light up like a Christmas tree. I don't know why he was so happy that I was coming with them. I mean he is kind of seeing Jessica, well they agreed to go to the dance together so one would assume that they were somewhat together at least. I was glad when the final bed rang and I went out to my truck. Charlie had gone back out last night to pick it up from the hospital parking lot, one of his police buddies helped. I was glad I didn't have to catch a ride with Charlie this morning, that would have been embarrassing.

When I got home I quickly did my homework and decided to cook something nice for Charlie to make up for him having to order pizza last night. I made my way around the kitchen preparing dinner, I rather enjoyed cooking. I liked to experiment a little but not in the crazy ways Renee does. At least my experiments are edible. I laughed at some of the things Renee has come up with and I pity Phil for having to put up with them now, at least before he had me there and we both had to endure the torture together. I finally finished dinner as Charlie walked through the door.

We ate dinner mostly in silence. Charlie kept looking at me with a worried expression. I hated that this was hurting him too. He was so on edge now, careful with everything he did while he was around me. I felt bad that he was being so careful around me, he shouldn't have to.

I decided to tell Charlie about my trip to La Push beach tomorrow with my "friends" from school. He seemed enthusiastic and weary at the same time about the trip. I told him who was going and that seemed to relax him a bit. He was able to name them all, as well as give me information on their parents. Not surprising in a town this small, I wouldn't be surprised if he knew their great-grandparents too. I briefly wondered if he would approve of my plan to ride with Edward Cullen to Seattle. I'm not sure if I was actually going to tell him yet.

I really wanted to sleep in, but an unusual brightness woke me. That was odd. I opened my eyes to see a clear yellow light streaming through my window. I couldn't believe it. I hurried to the window to check, to make sure my imagination wasn't play tricks on me, and sure enough, there was the sun. It was in the wrong place in the sky, too low, and it didn't seem to be as close as it should be, but it was definitely the sun. Clouds ringed the horizon, but a large patch of blue was visible in the middle. I lingered by the window as long as I could, afraid that if I left the blue would disappear again. I missed the sun. That was one thing from Phoenix that I truly did miss.

I got dressed quickly in my old jeans and a tank top and threw on a long button up shirt over the top just in case. I really wanted to be out in the sunshine today, maybe it might even help with my current state of mind. Since being in Forks I haven't seen the sun and it was starting to help keep me in this depressed little bubble I was currently in. I stumbled down stairs, still slightly distracted. I grabbed a quick bite to eat and put some crackers into my pockets again and headed for the door.

The Newtons' Olympic Outfitters store was just north of town. I'd seen the store, but I'd never stopped there — not having much need for any supplies required for being outdoors over an extended period of time. When I got to the parking lot I recognized Mike's Suburban and Tyler's Sentra already parked there. As I pulled up next to their vehicles, I could see the group standing around in front of the Suburban. Eric was there, along with two other boys I had class with; I was fairly sure their names were Ben and Conner, I think. Jess was there, flanked by Angela and Lauren. Three other girls stood with them, including one I remembered falling over in Gym on Friday. That one gave me a dirty look as I got out of the truck, and whispered something to Lauren. Lauren shook out her corn silk hair and eyed me scornfully. So it was going to be one of those days, great just what I needed. At least Mike was happy to see me, today might not be so bad after all.

"Bella, you came!" he called, delighted. "And I said it would be sunny today, didn't I? I was so right. Eric so lost the bet!"

"I told you I was coming," I reminded him. "What bet?"

"Oh we bet about the weather. Eric said that it was going to rain and I was like it is so going to be sunny, the weather man said so. Anyway we bet about whether the weather man was right or not, I so won." Mike said enthusiastically.

"So what do you get for winning the bet?" I asked.

"Eric has to wash my car wearing a bikini. It is so going to be funny and the photos are definitely going on facebook." Mike said while laughing.

I just nodded. Poor Eric that was going to be embarrassing, especially if Mike posts them online. I don't know if I want to actually see that, I might need to bleach my eyes or something.

"Oh we're just waiting for Lee and Samantha… unless you invited someone," Mike added.

"Nope," I lied lightly, hoping I wouldn't get caught in the lie. But also wishing that a miracle would occur, and Edward would appear. Him actually coming might make my day better.

Mike actually looked satisfied and somewhat happy that I didn't invite anyone.

"Will you ride in my car? It's that or Lee's mom's minivan."

"Um sure Mike." I replied.

He smiled blissfully. It was so easy to make Mike happy. I hope he didn't think anything of it. I mean Jessica likes him. How can he be so blind in seeing that, did she need to have it written in permanent marker across her forehead that she likes him? Really that boy needs to grow a brain, or a few more brain cells.

"You can have shotgun," he promised. I hid my chagrin. It wasn't as simple to make Mike and Jessica happy at the same time. I could see Jessica glowering at us now. Great so she noticed that Mike was talking to me. So that probably means she will be a bit of a bitch the rest of the day.

The numbers worked out in my favour, though. Lee brought two extra people, and suddenly every seat was necessary. I managed to wedge Jess in between Mike and me in the front seat of the Suburban. Mike could have been more graceful about it, but at least Jess seemed appeased. Hopefully Jessica could see that I wasn't interested in Mike.

It was only fifteen miles to La Push from Forks, with gorgeous, dense green forests edging the road most of the way and the wide Quileute River snaking beneath it twice. I was glad I had the window seat. We'd rolled the windows down — the Suburban was a bit claustrophobic with nine people in it — and I tried to absorb as much sunlight as possible. I'd been to the beaches around La Push many times during my Forks summers with Charlie, so the mile-long crescent of First Beach was familiar to me. It was still breathtaking. The water was dark gray, even in the sunlight, white-capped and heaving to the gray, rocky shore. It hadn't changed much from what I remember. Islands rose out of the steel harbor waters with sheer cliff sides, reaching to uneven summits, and crowned with austere, soaring firs. It was beautiful.

The beach had only a thin border of actual sand at the water's edge, after which it grew into millions of large, smooth stones that looked uniformly gray from a distance, but close up were every shade a stone could be: terra-cotta, sea green, lavender, blue gray, dull gold. The tide line was strewn with huge driftwood trees, bleached bone white in the salt waves, some piled together against the edge of the forest fringe, some lying solitary, just out of reach of the waves.

There was a brisk wind coming off the waves, cool and briny. Pelicans floated on the swells while seagulls and a lone eagle wheeled above them. A few clouds still circled the sky, threatening to invade at any moment, but for now the sun shone bravely in its halo of blue sky. Hopefully the weather would hold off until we left. I didn't want to get sick due to the weather.

We picked our way down to the beach, Mike leading the way to a ring of driftwood logs that had obviously been used for parties like ours before. I was careful trying not to fall over, with my luck I would trip over a rock the size of a quarter.

There was a fire circle already in place, filled with black ashes. Eric and the boy I thought was named Ben gathered broken branches of driftwood from the drier piles against the forest edge, and soon had a tepee-shaped construction built atop the old cinders.

"Have you ever seen a driftwood fire?" Mike asked me. I was sitting on one of the bone-coloured benches; the other girls clustered, gossiping excitedly, on either side of me. I wasn't at all interesting in what they were saying or gossiping about. Mike kneeled by the fire, lighting one of the smaller sticks with a cigarette lighter.

"No can't say I have," I said as he placed the blazing twig carefully against the tepee.

"You'll like this then — watch the colours, it's actually pretty beautiful." He lit another small branch and laid it alongside the first. The flames started to lick quickly up the dry wood.

"It's blue," I said in surprise.

"The salt does it. Pretty, isn't it?" He lit one more piece, placed it where the fire hadn't yet caught, and then came to sit by me. Thankfully, Jess was on his other side. She turned to him and claimed his attention. I watched the strange blue and green flames crackle toward the sky. I was somewhat mesmerised by the fire in front of me. It was beautiful.

I started to think about things. Sitting here on the beach in front of the fire was somewhat peaceful. The only sounds were the waves crashing on the sand and the chatter of everyone around the fire. Their lives were so carefree, they were lucky. The hardest decision for Jessica was probably deciding what she was going to wear to the dance. I wish that my life was that simple. I didn't have to worry about a dress for the dance because I was never going to attend. My life was never going to be the same again once the baby comes. I couldn't just decide on the spur of the moment to go out to the movies, like they could. I would be stuck home changing a nappy while everyone else was out enjoying their teenage years with not a care in the world. My life would never be simple again. I curse myself, this realisation was only hitting me now. I felt like crying, but I knew I couldn't here. I didn't want people to wonder why I was crying or asking questions. That day was going to come eventually and I was going to be the centre of town gossip. I actually dreaded that day but I knew it is only a matter of time.

After a half hour of chatter and my inner musings, some of the boys wanted to hike to the nearby tidal pools. It was a dilemma. On the one hand, I loved the tide pools. They had fascinated me since I was a child; they were one of the only things I ever looked forward to when I had to come to Forks. On the other hand, I'd also fallen into them a lot. Not a big deal when you're seven and with your dad, but right now for me probably not a good idea considering. It reminded me of Edward's request — that I not fall into the ocean.

Luckily for me Lauren was the one who made my decision for me. She didn't want to hike, and she was definitely wearing the wrong shoes for it. Most of the other girls besides Angela and Jessica decided to stay on the beach as well. I waited until Tyler and Eric had committed to remaining with them before I got up quietly to join the pro-hiking group. Mike gave me a huge smile when he saw that I was coming. I decided against rolling my eyes at him. I needed to be nice to him, seen as he was one of the only ones actually being nice to me here.

The hike wasn't too long, though I hated to lose the sky in the woods. It was one of those rare days in Forks that I could actually see the sun and blue sky, the one time I didn't feel claustrophobic here.

The green light of the forest was strangely at odds with the adolescent laughter, too murky and ominous to be in harmony with the light banter around me. I had to watch each step I took very carefully, avoiding roots below and branches above, and I soon fell behind. Eventually I broke through the emerald confines of the forest and found the rocky shore again. It was low tide, and a tidal river flowed past us on its way to the sea. Along its pebbled banks, shallow pools that never completely drained were teeming with life.

I was very cautious not to lean too far over the little ocean ponds. The others were fearless, leaping over the rocks, perching precariously on the edges. I found a very stable-looking rock on the fringe of one of the largest pools and sat there cautiously, spellbound by the natural aquarium below me. The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current, twisted shells scurried about the edges, obscuring the crabs within them, starfish stuck motionless to the rocks and each other, while one small black eel with white racing stripes wove through the bright green weeds, waiting for the sea to return. I was completely absorbed, except for one small part of my mind that wondered what Edward was doing now, and trying to imagine what he would be saying if he were here with me. I don't know why I kept thinking of Edward Cullen. It had to be unhealthy my fascination with him. If I wasn't so messed up and wasn't pregnant I probably wouldn't think twice about it but it wasn't right. I shouldn't be interested or thinking about Edward Cullen. I might need to talk to him again and cancel the offer of him to drive me to Seattle I had at the time accepted. I need to distance myself from him, it wasn't fair on him and he probably would hate me when he finds out anyway. I sighed. My life really sucks. A single tear slid down my face but I quickly wiped it away. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Happy thoughts, kittens and puppies ... Edward. Why do my thoughts lead back to him.

Finally the boys got my attention saying that they were hungry, and I got up stiffly to follow them back. I tried to keep up better this time through the woods, so naturally I fell a few times. I got some shallow scrapes on my palms, and the knees of my jeans were stained green, but it could have been worse, a lot worse.

When we got back to First Beach, the group we'd left behind had multiplied. As we got closer we could see the shining, straight black hair and copper skin of the newcomers, teenagers from the reservation come to socialize.

The food was already being passed around, and the boys hurried to claim a share while Eric introduced us as we each entered the driftwood circle. Angela and I were the last to arrive, and, as Eric said our names, I noticed a younger boy sitting on the stones near the fire glance up at me in interest. I sat down next to Angela, and Mike brought us sandwiches and an array of sodas to choose from, while a boy who looked to be the oldest of the visitors rattled off the names of the seven others with him. All I caught was that one of the girls was also named Jessica, and the boy who noticed me was named Jacob.

It was relaxing to sit with Angela; she was a restful kind of person to be around — she didn't feel the need to fill every silence with chatter. She left me free to think undisturbed while we ate. And I was thinking about how disjointedly time seemed to flow in Forks, passing in a blur at times, with single images standing out more clearly than others. And then, at other times, every second was significant, etched in my mind. I knew exactly what caused the difference, and it disturbed me. Ok really no matter what thoughts I have they still revolve around Edward Cullen. Maybe coming to Forks was a stupid idea.

During lunch the clouds started to advance, slinking across the blue sky, darting in front of the sun momentarily, casting long shadows across the beach, and blackening the waves. As they finished eating, people started to drift away in twos and threes. Some walked down to the edge of the waves, trying to skip rocks across the choppy surface. Others were gathering a second expedition to the tide pools. Mike — with Jessica shadowing him — headed up to the one shop in the village. Great two less people to worry about.

Some of the local kids went with them; others went along on the hike. I didn't really feel like moving. I was actually starting to get pretty tired. By the time they all had scattered, I was sitting alone on my driftwood log, with Lauren and Tyler occupying themselves by the CD player someone had thought to bring, and three teenagers from the reservation perched around the circle, including the boy named Jacob and the oldest boy who had acted as spokesperson.

A few minutes after Angela left with the hikers, Jacob sauntered over to take her place by my side. He looked fourteen, maybe fifteen, and had long, glossy black hair pulled back with a rubber band at the nape of his neck. His skin was beautiful, silky and russet-coloured; his eyes were dark, set deep above the high planes of his cheekbones. He still had just a hint of childish roundness left around his chin. Altogether, a very pretty face. However, my positive opinion of his looks was damaged by the first words out of his mouth.

"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you, Chief Swan's daughter?"

It was like the first day of school all over again. Really did I have to go through this again.

"Bella," I sighed for what felt like the hundredth time I've corrected someone in this stupid arse town.

"I'm Jacob Black." He held his hand out in a friendly gesture. "You bought my dad's truck."

"Oh," I said, relieved, shaking his sleek hand. "You're Billy's son. I probably should remember you, right?"

"No probably not, I'm the youngest of the family — you would remember my older sisters."

"Oh yeah Rachel and Rebecca, right?" I suddenly recalled. Charlie and Billy had thrown us together a lot during my visits, to keep us busy while they fished. We were all too shy to make much progress as friends. Of course, I'd kicked up enough tantrums to end the fishing trips by the time I was eleven. So we really didn't get to know each other that well and I wouldn't go as far to call us friends, even when we were little.

"Are they here?" I examined the girls at the ocean's edge, wondering if I would recognize them now.

"No." Jacob shook his head. "Rachel got a scholarship to Washington State, and Rebecca married a Samoan surfer — she lives in Hawaii now. They both escaped here as soon as they could"

"Married. What well just wow." I was stunned. The twins were only a little over a year older than I was.

"So how do you like the truck?" he asked.

"I actually love it. It runs great."

"Yeah," he laughed. "I was so relieved when Charlie bought it. My dad wouldn't let me work on building another car when we had a perfectly good vehicle right there."

"It's not that bad," I objected.

"Have you tried to go over seventy yet?"

"No," I admitted warily, "Why? Is there something I should know?"

"Good. Don't." He grinned. "It probably would be safe and well I highly doubt you would get it up to there anyway."

I couldn't help grinning back. "Hey but at least it would go great in a collision, it is rather sturdy looking," I laughed. I needed to defend my truck.

"Yeah you're probably right there, but doing go trying to find that out. I really don't think a tank could take out that truck," he agreed with another laugh. "And if it did I bet it would come back to haunt me!"

"So you build cars then?" I asked, impressed.

"When I have free time, and the parts. You wouldn't happen to know where I could get my hands on a master cylinder for a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit?" he added jokingly. He had a pleasant, husky voice.

"Sorry," I laughed, "I haven't seen any lately, but I'll keep my eyes open for you." As if I knew what that was! He was very easy to talk with, it felt natural, which was somewhat weird.

He flashed a brilliant smile, looking at me appreciatively in a way I was learning to recognize. I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"You know Bella, Jacob?" Lauren asked — in what I imagined was an insolent tone — from across the fire. Great now what is she going to come up with now.

"Well we've sort of known each other since I was born," he laughed, smiling at me again.

"How nice." She didn't sound like she thought it was nice at all, and her pale, fishy eyes narrowed. Ok so she was up to something.

"Bella," she called again, watching my face carefully, "I was just saying to Tyler that it was too bad none of the Cullen's could come out today. Didn't anyone think to invite them?" Her expression of concern was unconvincing.

"You mean Dr. Carlisle Cullen's family?" the tall, older boy asked before I could respond, much to Lauren's irritation. He was really closer to a man than a boy, and his voice was very deep.

"Yes, do you know them?" she asked condescendingly, turning halfway toward him.

"The Cullen's don't come here," he said in a tone that closed the subject, ignoring her question.

Tyler, trying to win back her attention, asked Lauren's opinion on a CD he held. She was distracted.

I stared at the deep-voiced boy, taken aback, but he was looking away toward the dark forest behind us. He'd said that the Cullen's didn't come here, but his tone had implied something more — that they weren't allowed; they were prohibited. His manner left a strange impression on me, and I tried to ignore it without success.

Jacob interrupted my meditation. "So is good old Forks driving you insane yet?"

"Oh, I'd say that's an understatement." I grimaced. He grinned understandingly.

I was still turning over the brief comment on the Cullen's, and I had a sudden inspiration. It was a stupid plan, but I didn't have any better ideas. I hoped that young Jacob was as yet inexperienced around girls, so that he wouldn't see through my sure-to-be-pitiful attempts at flirting.

"Do you want to walk down the beach with me?" I asked, trying to imitate that way Edward had of looking up from underneath his eyelashes. It couldn't have nearly the same effect, I was sure, but Jacob jumped up willingly enough. Well that seemed easy enough.

As we walked north across the multihued stones toward the driftwood seawall, the clouds finally closed ranks across the sky, causing the sea to darken and the temperature to drop. I shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my jacket.

"So you're, what, sixteen?" I asked, trying not to look like an idiot as I fluttered my eyelids the way I'd seen girls do on TV.

"I just turned fifteen," he confessed, flattered. Ok so this was working then.

"Really?" My face was full of false surprise. "I would have thought you were older. You look older than fifteen."

"Yeah I guess I'm a bit tall for my age," he explained.

"Do you come up to Forks much?" I asked archly, as if I was hoping for a yes. I sounded idiotic to myself. I was afraid he would turn on me with disgust and accuse me of my fraud, but he still seemed flattered.

"Not too much," he admitted with a frown. "But when I get my car finished I can go up as much as I want — after I get my license," he amended. I was glad I had my license and could drive myself around. I can't remember what it was like not having my license.

"Who was that other boy Lauren was talking to? He seemed a little old to be hanging out with us." I purposefully lumped myself in with the youngsters, trying to make it clear that I preferred Jacob. Maybe if I did he might tell me what the other guy meant before about the Cullen's.

"That's Sam — he's nineteen," he informed me.

"What was that he was saying about the doctor's family?" I asked innocently.

"The Cullen's? Oh, they're not really allowed to come onto the reservation."

He looked away, out toward James Island, as he confirmed what I'd thought I'd heard in Sam's voice.

"Oh well why not?" I asked interested.

He glanced back at me, biting his lip. "Oops. Well I'm not supposed to say anything about that. Only the people on the reservation know why and yeah I'm not even really allowed to know but I accidently overheard."

"Oh, I won't tell anyone, I'm just curious." I tried to make my smile alluring, wondering if I was laying it on too thick.

He smiled back, though, looking allured. Then he lifted one eyebrow and his voice was even huskier than before.

"I don't know if I should say, it's not my place and I'm not even allowed to know. Only the elders know as well as Sam for some reason." he said looking down as if he had already told me too much.

That was weird it was something only people at the reservation knew about and the elders and Sam. I really wanted to know what it was. Why the Cullen's aren't allowed on the reservation

"I promise I won't tell anyone. I wouldn't want to get you into trouble," I enthused, making an effort to smoulder at him.

Jacob strolled to a nearby driftwood tree that had its roots sticking out like the attenuated legs of a huge, pale spider. He perched lightly on one of the twisted roots while I sat beneath him on the body of the tree.

He stared down at the rocks. I could tell he was having a hard time trying to figure out the right thing to do. I felt bad but I was really curious to find out.

"Ok. I'll tell you some stuff but I'm not going to go into detail or anything. Considering I'm not really allowed to know, I don't feel right telling you everything because we said we wouldn't tell anyone about it." He said.

"Oh ok, that's cool, just tell me what you feel comfortable telling me. I just find it weird that the Cullen's aren't allowed here." I stated.

"Yeah well I guess everyone does. They all know we dislike the Cullen's but no one really knows why that is. Some people on the reservation don't even know, that's why I kind of feel weird about telling you this but I said I would so yeah." He said as he scratched the back of his head as he looked out to the ocean.

I immediately felt guilty. "Look Jacob you don't have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable." I said.

"No it's alright. Well our tribe is connected to one up in Alaska. You know like we're kind of like related somehow. One of our tribe elders years ago migrated up there due to some disagreement and some of our people followed. So yeah we still keep in contact and all that and have the same legends and stories." He said as he looked up at me.

"Edward lived in Alaska before he came here." I stated.

"Yeah. Well he knew some of the people our tribe knows. He is bad news Bella. This Edward is anyway. The rumours going around aren't really that nice. I mean I don't know him but he is bad news, especially if the stories are true. " Jacob said shaking his head.

"What do you mean bad news?" I asked. I needed to find out more, why was he bad news. There must be a reason.

"Look all I really wanna say is that something happened up in Alaska with a girl from the tribe up in Denali and well other stuff as well but well we have the issue with the Cullen's because that girl is basically connected to us and what happened to her we don't like the Cullen's. I don't know specifics and I don't want to tell you the rumours that are floating around because there are just so many that I don't know what one is actually right or if any are for that matter. I didn't really hear much from the elders when I overheard them. All I remember is them talking about a girl and it was related to something Edward Cullen did and they said other stuff that he has done too. It felt kind of rude and if I was meant to know they would have told me." Jacob rambled on. "There is just an understanding between the Cullen's and us. They don't come here and we don't interfere with them when we go into Forks. It's like there is a line drawn and none of us are going to or are allowed to cross it."

"Oh ok. " I said. I didn't know what to think. What could Edward have done that was so bad that he wasn't even allowed onto the reservation. Maybe Jacob was wrong, maybe it is just a story. Although Edward did say he was dangerous and not a good person to be my friend. My head kept spinning with the possibilities.

"Bella. I didn't mean to like upset you or anything. But if I were you I would stay away from him. Obviously he is bad news. I don't know what he did up in Alaska that made him leave or for to form this sort of drawing lines as if we were mortal enemies but there must be something in it for the elders to go to such lengths and for the Cullen's to actually agree to it and abide by it." Jacob stated. "Maybe they didn't want news to spread around Forks so they agreed maybe for them it was a small price to pay for the news to not get out." Jacob added.

I stared out at the rough surf after he answered, not sure what my face was exposing. Definitely not true, it couldn't be. I don't think Edward could do anything to anyone, especially a girl. But he did warn me to stay away from him. I was torn, I didn't know what to think or believe. My mind kept going back to James, was Edward like James?

"You have goose bumps," he stated.

I looked down and sure enough I had goose bumps. Jacob took off his jacket.

"Your cold, here take this?" He said and he put the jacket over my shoulders.

"You don't need to give me your jacket, I'm fine." I said, still staring into the waves.

"I don't want you to get sick and I'm fine. I'm use to this weather, you on the other hand are not." He said as he laughed.

I couldn't control my expression enough to look at him yet, I was still going over the possible reasons in my head as to what Edward could have done. Maybe Jacob got it wrong maybe it was the other Cullen boys, Emmett or Jasper.

"I guess I just violated the understanding we have with the Cullen's," he laughed.

"I'll take it to the grave," I promised, and then I shivered.

"Seriously, though, don't say anything to Charlie. He was pretty mad at my dad when he heard that some of us weren't going to the hospital since Dr. Cullen started working there."

"I won't, of course not, I promised you I wouldn't say anything and I always try to keep my promises." Saying something like this to Charlie, probably wouldn't be a good idea. Although he might be able to find out something, I mean if it was related to the law the police would have been involved and reports made. I shook my head. I definitely couldn't talk to Charlie about this, he seemed to like to Cullen's.

And then the sound of the beach rocks clattering against each other warned us that someone was approaching. Our heads snapped up at the same time to see Mike and Jessica about fifty yards away, walking toward us.

"Oh there you are, Bella, we wondered where you got to." Mike called in relief, waving his arm over his head.

"Is that your guy boyfriend?" Jacob asked, alerted by the jealous edge in Mike's voice. I was surprised it was so obvious. Mike really needed to get over his feelings for me, it was never going to happen between us but I didn't have it in me to tell him to his face - well not yet anyway.

"No, definitely not, yeah no would go out with him if he was the last guy on earth" I whispered. I was tremendously grateful to Jacob, and eager to make him as happy as possible. I winked at him, carefully turning away from Mike to do so. He smiled, elated by my inept flirting.

"So when I get my license…" he began.

"You should come see me in Forks. We could hang out sometime." I felt guilty as I said this, knowing that I'd used him. But I really did like Jacob. He was someone I could easily be friends with. Friends that's it. I could only ever be friends with a guy now. No boyfriend/girlfriend stuff.

Mike had reached us now, with Jessica still a few paces back. I could see his eyes appraising Jacob, and looking satisfied at his obvious youth. What was with him really. He had Jessica hanging off his every word why not be happy with someone who was actually interested in you.

"Where have you been?" he asked, though the answer was right in front of him.

"Jacob was just telling me some local stories," I volunteered. "It was really interesting."

I smiled at Jacob warmly, and he grinned back.

"Well," Mike paused, carefully reassessing the situation as he watched our camaraderie. "We're packing up — it looks like it's going to rain soon. At least it stayed sunny for most of our time here. Plus we need to leave before it rains or Eric wins the bet." Mike said as he frowned.

We all looked up at the glowering sky. It certainly did look like rain.

"Okay." I jumped up, a little too quickly that I had to grab hold of Jacobs arm for support – which didn't go unnoticed by Jacob or Mike. "I'm coming."

"It was nice to see you again," Jacob said, and I could tell he was taunting Mike just a bit. I thought I'd play along, why not, might help get Mike off my case.

"It really was Jacob. Next time Charlie comes down to see Billy, I'll come, too," I promised.

His grin stretched across his face. "That would be cool. I could show you around more."

"And thanks," I added earnestly.

I pulled up my hood as we tramped across the rocks toward the parking lot. A few drops were beginning to fall, making black spots on the stones where they landed. When we got to the Suburban the others were already loading everything back in. I crawled into the backseat by Angela and Tyler, announcing that I'd already had my turn in the shotgun position. Angela just stared out the window at the escalating storm, and Lauren twisted around in the middle seat to occupy Tyler's attention, so I could simply lay my head back on the seat and close my eyes and try very hard not to think


	17. Chapter 16: Decision Made

**A/N Ok so here is the next chapter, was hoping to have it done the other day but didn't get time. It is like 12.40am here is OZ and I only just finished. I haven't edited this chapter so please forgive me if there are errors.**

**Pls review/comment and let me know what you think!  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 16: <strong>Decision Made

When I finally got home, I wanted to go straight to my room. I wasn't in the mood to talk to Charlie and I wasn't hungry. He did argue with me about the whole no eating thing, I guess he is just worried about me. Just to make him happy I go to the kitchen and make myself a quick sandwich. I really wasn't in the mood to eat and I really wasn't in the mood to have an argument with Charlie right now. I made my sandwich and made my way into my room. Charlie didn't push any further about what was bothering me, he was just happy that I agreed to eat something. I knew he wouldn't hassle me anymore because there was a basketball game on that he was excited to be watching.

Once I was safely in my room, I locked the door. I knew Charlie wouldn't come up to check on me but I just wanted to have some more privacy. I decided to listen to music, it helps me to think and calm me down. I dug through my desk draw looking for my headphones, I wanted to listen to the music loud enough to drown out everything else and I don't think that Charlie would appreciate the music blaring and interrupt his watching of the game. I closed my eyes and just laid down on my bed.

I tried to concentrate on the lyrics and the music but I just couldn't I kept thinking of what happened down at La Push. I didn't want to think about what happened or what I was told. It was frustrating my brain just wouldn't switch off. I knew I needed to clear my head; I didn't want to read too much into what Jacob had said. I don't know how long I fought to ignore what I was told but I must have because I eventually fell asleep.

I couldn't work out where I was, but I knew I was dreaming. I was sure of it, I could see things clearly, more clearly than if it were real. It was so green, the forest I was in the forest but then I could hear waves in the background. They were crashing against what sounded like rocks somewhere nearby. For some reason I felt like I needed to get to the sun and if I found the beach I would.

I was trying to listen carefully to where the noise was coming from but someone was talking to me, they were distracting me. I couldn't make out what he was saying at first, it was hard to concentrate on what he was saying.

"Jacob? What is it? What's wrong?" I asked.

He looked frightened. I wonder why he looked like that. He was trying to pull me in the opposite direction to where I was headed.

"Don't Bella. You can't" He said panicked.

"Bella come with me I know you want to." I heard Mike's voice as clear as day, but I couldn't see him. I knew he was close; it was if I could feel him watching me.

"No Bella you want to come with me, I know you do." This time it was a very familiar voice. "Come on Bella we had fun last time." James came out from behind a tree laughing. He had a sickening smile on his face. Even in my dream I flinched away from him.

"Bella, oh my Bella come with me." This time it was a sweet velvet voice I heard. I wanted to follow him. I started to head towards his voice but something was holding me back.

"No Bella you can't remember what I said." Jacob's voice screamed at me.

Then everything happened at once. Jacob disappeared from next to me and I was being circled by Mike, James and Edward. It really freaked me out. It was somewhat creepy the looks on their faces. Then all of a sudden they all reached out for me and ...

"No!" I screamed, wrenching upright out of my bed.

My sudden movement caused my headphones to be pulled out of my ears. My heart felt like it was going a hundred miles a minute. I took a few deep breaths to calm down. I looked around me, I was laying on my bed, my bedside lamp was still on and I was dressed in the same clothes I wore to the beach. I couldn't figure out how long I was here for, I was stiff and sore. I looked at my clock on my side table; it was five thirty in the morning. Really, I had been here all night; no wonder I was sore. I still had my shoes on. I groaned as I kicked my shoes off.

I was too uncomfortable to get anywhere near sleep again. I rolled over and unbuttoned my jeans and yanked them off awkwardly as I tried to stay horizontal. I pulled my hair down; it was starting to get on my nerves. I put the elastic band on my wrist. Then all of a sudden it hit me. I got up and ran to the bathroom, banging into my bedroom door on the way. Once I made my routine trip to the toilet bowl, I quickly brushed my teeth to get rid of that god awful taste.

I made my way slowly back to my room. I knew now that I would never get back to sleep. It was way too early for me to be up. I decided to just get up, no point in laying in bed when I wouldn't find sleep.

I quickly grabbed my bathroom bag and headed to the bathroom again. I needed to kill some time and might as well take my time and have a shower. Honestly I thought the shower would take longer but I was sadly mistaken. I decided to kill time and blow-dry my hair and put on some moisturiser. After that was done I ran out of things to occupy my time in the bathroom. I wrapped myself in a towel and made my way back to my room to get dressing. I paused by Charlie's door, I couldn't tell if he was still asleep or if he was already gone. I couldn't hear snoring coming from his room, so maybe he had already left. I went to the window to look out; sure enough the cruiser was gone. Charlie was fishing again; he must have left when I was in the shower.

I walked back into my room and passed my mirror. I looked at my reflection and sighed. I wonder how much longer it will be before I would start to show. I wasn't looking forward to that. It would mean that people would start to talk. I knew it was inevitable and that it would happen eventually and I definitely was not looking forward to it. I quickly got dressed, I didn't want to dwell on it anymore, it was too depressing. I dressed in my comfy sweats; I wasn't planning on going anywhere today. I made my bed – something I rarely do – ok so I'm killing more time.

I started to look around my room. I could clean it, but I don't really want to. I looked at my desk – my computer. It was there staring at me. It was calling at me to turn it on. I knew what I would do if I did turn it on but did I really want to do that. I don't know if I wanted to know. No I don't want to know, if it is important I'm sure Edward would tell me. I sat on my bed watching my computer.

Ok so obviously I have a very limited self control, I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and turned on my computer. It took what seemed like forever for it to turn on and for me to close down all the stupid pop up ads. I sat down and opened up my favourite search engine, Google. I felt bad doing this but I couldn't help it. Jacob was warning me to stay away from him; maybe he was wrong about him. I mean he said that he heard different things, maybe they were all just rumours and he was reading too much into them.

I type in Edward's full name. I don't know if I wanted to click enter. If I do this and I find something, then there is no turning back. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it if I didn't.

I hit enter. It didn't take long for the results to show up. I clicked on the first link. It was a news article from a local paper up in Alaska. I was about a car accident where a girl was killed. Edward was driving the car when it crashed. It didn't give too much more information. I skimmed the article. I stopped. Ok now I think I know why Jacob has a thing against Edward and why the Elders do. The girl that was killed was from the Denali reservation. I re-read the article, it didn't say if Edward was at fault or not just that there was a car accident, the girl was killed and Edward ended up in hospital. I got out of that site and went back to the search engine again. I clicked on the link under it. Again another article read it. Same information as the first one, that was no help.

I did this a few times but really I was getting no new information. After the seventh site I decided to give up. It was frustrating. Why isn't it giving more information, really like they should have more information? I got up and shut my computer off and made my way downstairs. I was all of a sudden hungry.

For some reason I was craving pancakes. It was a good idea, would take time and keep my hands busy. I made them from scratch, taking my time. Ok maybe not such a good idea, I burnt the first one. My mind drifted to Edward. Did he think that he was dangerous because he was in a car accident that a girl was killed in? Ok so I didn't have all the facts but how does that make you dangerous and why does it keep him from going to La Push?

Eventually I made a good batch of pancakes. I sat down and poured the maple syrup all over them and covered them in ice cream. I quickly finished them off. I looked at the kitchen. Time to clean up. This is the part I hate. So I washed the dishes, cleaned the counter, dried the dishes and put them away.

I sat down on at the table and looked around. I needed to get out of the house, but there was no where that I could go that didn't involve a three-day drive. I didn't really know many places around Forks that I could go. I went back upstairs to find my boots. I pulled them on and headed back downstairs. I shrugged into my raincoat. I had no idea where I was going to go but I knew in Forks that it would eventually rain.

I made it outside and looked up. It was overcast but not yet raining, which was good. I decided against getting in my truck and going somewhere. I didn't feel like driving. I started east on foot, angling across Charlie's yard towards the ever-encroaching forest. I decided to go for a little walk into the forest. Just far enough in for me to forget about everything but no far enough to get lost. The only sounds I heard were the squishing of the damp earth under my feet and the sudden cries of the jays.

I know my sense of direction really sucks but I figured I couldn't get too lost if I didn't go in that far. I decided that I should sit down, I found a tree trunk. It must not have been on the ground long because it wasn't completely covered in green moss. I took off my jacked and laid it down on the tree and then carefully sat down.

I looked around. This probably was the wrong place to come especially after my dream last night. I put my head in my hands. What am I going to do? I didn't know what to think about Edward and that stupid article. It really didn't tell me much. Should I ask Edward about it, no I shouldn't? He would have told me if he wanted me to know, but why does Jacob and the Elders hate him so much.

I decided to force myself to think of the two most vital questions that I should answer, but I did so unwillingly.

First, I had to decide if it was true what Jacob said about Edward, I mean Edward himself warned me that he was dangerous. Should I believe them both or are they both wrong?

Immediately my mind was telling me no. I knew that Edward wasn't dangerous. If he was then why aren't the good people of Forks talking about how bad and dangerous he is. I mean Charlie would have warned me about him surely. But what? Really I knew that something must be up considering both Edward and Jacob are warning me about him. But honestly I do not think that Edward would ever hurt me. It was absurd, he saved me from Tyler's van after all, that has to count for something.

And of course the most important question of all. What was I going to do if it was true? If Jacob and Edward were both right and he was dangerous and that I should stay away from him.

Ok so there are two ways I can handle this situation. One I take both of their advice and stay away from Edward as much as possible. Cancel our plans, go back to trying to ignore him – yeah that worked out well when he was ignoring me. Could I pretend there was an impenetrably thick glass wall between us in the class where we are forced to work together, the answer to that is probably no but I could try if I needed to. I would tell him to leave me alone and mean it. I mean it wasn't just me I had to think about now.

The thought of ignoring Edward Cullen and pretending that he doesn't exist is something that I think; no I definitely know that I wouldn't be able to do.

Alternatively I could do nothing different. I mean he hasn't done anything to hurt me or remotely dangerous, that I have witnessed anyway. He has saved my life and was concerned about me during the whole biology blood typing incident.

The one thing that I was sure of, if I was sure of anything at all. The dark Edward in my dream last night was just a reflection of my fears of being hurt again and also about Jacobs warning about Edward. Even though I did wake up screaming it wasn't because of Edward. It was because of James. I know that. I was scared of him hurting me like James did.

I sighed. I already knew my answer. I honestly don't know if I ever had a choice. I was already in way too deep. Now that I knew, if I really knew at all, I could do nothing about my feelings towards him. Maybe it was something that was meant to be fate. I don't know if he feels the same way, maybe I am just hoping he feels the same. Maybe he just sees me as a friend; I mean I could live with that. I know that I could never stay away from Edward Cullen. I could if he didn't want me to be his friend I mean I would stay away if he asked me. He probably will when he find out that I am hiding something from him.

I decided it was time to get up and head back home. I was for a moment lost at to where I should be heading. I pulled my jacket back on and made my way to where I thought was the right direction for home. I was surprised as to how far I had actually gone. I actually started to panic but before I could get too worked up I started to see light poke through the trees. I just kept heading towards the light. I could start to hear a car passing by on the street, and I was free. Charlie's lawn stretched out in front of me, the house beckoning me, promising warmth and dry socks.

I didn't realise how long I was gone but I was noon when I finally made my way into the house. When I made it inside I went straight upstairs to change, I was a little damp from being in the forest for so long. I didn't get dressed up just changed into jeans and a simple shirt; it wasn't like I was going anywhere. I decided to start on my homework. I had to write a stupid paper on Macbeth. Renee wouldn't send me my old essays stating that it was classed as cheating. I probably should thank her, at least I had something to occupy my time and right now that was a good thing. The paper was due Wednesday but I wanted to get as much of it done as possible. I settled into outlining a rough draft contentedly. I was in the zone of writing this essay and completely forgot about everything else. It was somewhat nice but scary that writing a paper on Macbeth had my full divided attention.

You know making decisions was the painful part for me; it is the part that I analysed again and again until I felt comfortable with my decision. But one I decided on what choice I was taking I didn't think twice about it. Yes I might have certain feeling about my decision but I would never change them, unless forced my outside influences. For instance when I decided to come to Forks, I knew I needed to but I wasn't one hundred percent happy with that decision, well at the time, but I knew I needed to do it. I didn't change my mind I just moved here. And then there is the baby, I didn't know what to do – what was right to do – but it wasn't its fault what had happened. So I decided to keep it and I had resolved my issues with that decision. Yes there are still times I freak out about what is going to happen and the changes that are going to occur but I know that I am not going to change my mind about my decision.

My decision regarding Edward was ridiculously easy to live with. Dangerously easy really. It felt like the easiest decision that I have ever made and it involves a guy, go figure that.

My day was very productive. I finished my paper before eight. Charlie came back from his fishing trip with an extremely large catch. I really should buy a book on how to cook fish because really there is only so many times that you can eat them the same way before you go totally insane. When I am in Seattle next week I should make sure to head to a bookshop to pick one up.

I got chills that flashed up my spine whenever I thought of that trip to Seattle with Edward. They were the same chills I got before I spoke with Jacob. I know that Edward isn't dangerous. I just do. It is this feeling I have that I can't completely explain. I mean he has had plenty of times to show how dangerous he is but he never has.

I went to bed exhausted. I was so tired and felt like I didn't sleep a wink last night, it didn't help that I woke up at the crack of dawn this morning either.


	18. Chapter 17: Port Angeles

**A/N I know it has been a while since I have updated, I'm sorry about that but shit has been crazy here. My 2 and a half year old neice was attacked by a dog and lets just say the past week has not been great. I've been splitting my time between the hospital and helping my brother and his partner look after their other daughter who is only 4 months old. I don't know when I will be able to update again but hopefully I will try to post at least 1 chapter each week for the next few weeks at least, until things settle down here. **

**Ok on to a happier note this chapter is the longest one yet! Please let me know what you think! Enjoy  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 17:<strong> Port Angeles

I woke up, for the second time since arriving in Forks, to the bright yellow light of a sunny day. I couldn't enjoy it for too long before I had to bolt to the bathroom. This was getting to be annoying. It felt like over the past few days I was throwing up a whole lot more. I hope it settles down soon, I actually like keeping my food down as it was intended. After I brushed my teeth I skipped to the window, stunned to see that there was hardly a cloud in the sky, and those there were just fleecy little white puffs that couldn't possibly be carrying any rain. I opened the window — with some difficulty, as it hasn't been opened in well I don't know how long, but it took some effort to get the damn thing opened that's for sure — and sucked in the relatively dry air. It was nearly warm and hardly windy at all. My blood was electric in my veins. Today was hopefully going to be a great day, that is if the weather stays like this.

I quickly got dressed, jeans and a light blue long sleeved shirt, hopefully it will stay nice and I won't get too cold – I'll take a jacket anyway just in case it is Forks after all. Charlie was finishing breakfast when I came downstairs, and he picked up on my mood immediately and smiled at me.

"Nice day out," he commented.

"It definitely is, my kind of weather," I agreed with a grin.

He smiled back, his brown eyes crinkling around the edges. When Charlie smiled, it was easier to see why he and my mother had jumped too quickly into an early marriage. Most of the young romantic he'd been in those days had faded before I'd known him, as the curly brown hair — the same colour, if not the same texture, as mine — had dwindled, slowly revealing more and more of the shiny skin of his forehead. But when he smiled I could see a little of the man who had run away with Renée when she was just two years older than I was now. It was sad when they ended their marriage but I guess it was for the best. I know my mother is happy with Phil and her life but Charlie I'm not sure. I hope he is happy, he has always been one for the simple things in life however he has never had a relationship, well as far as I am aware anyway. He deserves to be happy and I hope he will find someone, I don't want him to be alone forever.

I ate breakfast cheerily, watching the dust moats stirring in the sunlight that streamed in the back window. As I was finishing up my last spoon full of my cereal I had that feeling that it wasn't going to stay down and I ran towards the bathroom. One bad thing about this damn house is that the bathroom is upstairs and right now that is not good. I did my best to hold it in, by clamping my hand over my mouth and willing it to stay, thankfully I made it in time. Charlie called out a goodbye, and I heard the cruiser pull away from the house. I brushed my teeth again and quickly brushed my hair and pulled it up into a ponytail, I couldn't be bothered doing anything more elaborate with it.

I hesitated on my way out the door, hand on my rain jacket. It would be tempting fate to leave it home. With a sigh, I folded it over my arm and stepped out into the brightest light I'd seen in months. It was nice, not like Phoenix but it will do for Forks.

I put both windows in my Truck almost completely down, to help soak in the sun. I needed to soak it up while I can, don't know how long it will last – fingers crossed it will last a few more days but I know I wouldn't be that lucky. I was one of the first ones to school; I hadn't even checked the clock in my hurry to get outside. I parked and headed toward the seldom-used picnic benches on the south side of the cafeteria. The benches were still a little damp, so I sat on my jacket, glad to have a use for it and hopefully it will be the only time I need to use it today. My homework was done — the product of a slow social life, lucky me — but there were a few Trig problems I wasn't sure I had right. Ok I probably had them right but what else was there to do. I took out my book industriously, but halfway through rechecking the first problem I was daydreaming, watching the sunlight play on the red-barked trees. I sketched inattentively along the margins of my homework.

"Hey Bella!" I heard someone call, and it sounded like Mike. I groaned, please anyone but him.

I looked around to realize that the school had become populated while I'd been sitting there, absentminded. Wow did I really not pay attention, you would think that I would have heard everyone. Everyone was in t-shirts, some even in shorts though the temperature couldn't be over sixty. Mike was coming toward me in khaki shorts and a striped Rugby shirt, waving. Yep it was definitely Mike, yay for me!

"Hey, Mike," I called, waving back, unable to be half-hearted on a morning like this. Oh great just act like you're interested in him, give him the wrong idea.

He came to sit by me, the tidy spikes of his hair shining golden in the light, his grin stretching across his face. He was so delighted to see me, I couldn't help but feel gratified. Don't encourage him, I kept thinking.

"I never noticed before — your hair has red in it," he commented, catching between his fingers a strand that was fluttering in the light breeze. I flinched away a little but he didn't even seem to notice.

"Um yeah only in the sun." I replied.

I became just a little too uncomfortable as he tucked the lock behind my ear. He is completely blind or what, I swear he is.

"Great day, isn't it?" He asked excitedly.

"My kind of day, hopefully it stays like it." I agreed.

"What did you do yesterday?" His tone was just a bit too proprietary. Seriously does he not get the hint.

"I mostly worked on my essay and watched some tv, nothing too interesting." I didn't add that I was finished with it — no need to sound smug.

He hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. "Oh yeah — crap that's due Thursday, right?"

"Um, Wednesday, I think." I replied.

"Wednesday?" He frowned. "That's not good, not good at all … What are you writing yours on?" He asked.

"Whether Shakespeare's treatment of the female characters is misogynistic." I said.

He stared at me like I'd just spoken in pig Latin. I'm starting to wonder how smart Mike actually is. He can't see that Jessica is like head over heels for him, that I am so not interested in him and I bet he didn't understand a word I just said, oh he probably understood the words of, the and female, poor Mike. I really do feel sorry for him if his IQ is really that low, which it probably is.

"I guess I'll just have to get to work on that tonight," he said, deflated. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go out." He said hopefully.

"Oh." I was taken off guard. Why couldn't I ever have a pleasant conversation with Mike anymore without it getting awkward? I really needed to do something about this before it gets anymore out of hand than it already has.

"Well, we could go to dinner or something… and I could work on it later." He smiled at me hopefully.

"Mike…" I hated being put on the spot. "I don't think that would be the best idea."

His face fell. "Why?" he asked, his eyes guarded. My thoughts flickered to Edward, wondering if that's where Mike's thoughts were as well.

"I think… and if you ever repeat what I'm saying right now I will cheerfully beat you to death," I threatened, "but I think that would hurt Jessica's feelings."

He was bewildered, obviously not thinking in that direction at all. Hmm so I was right then, he really had no clue.

"Jessica? Really you think Jessica likes me" he asked confused.

"Oh really, Mike, are you seriously that blind?" I asked.

"Oh," he exhaled — clearly dazed, it was like I could see the wheels turning in his head. I took advantage of that to make my escape.

"It's time for class, and I really don't want be late again." I gathered my books up and stuffed them in my bag.

We walked in silence to building three, and his expression was distracted. I hoped whatever thoughts he was immersed in were leading him in the right direction. I really hope that he turns his attention to Jessica now.

When I saw Jessica in Trig, she was bubbling with enthusiasm. She, Angela, and Lauren were going to Port Angeles tonight to go dress shopping for the dance, and she wanted me to come, too, even though I didn't need one. I was indecisive. It would be nice to get out of town with some girlfriends, but Lauren would be there. Did I really want to spend time with Lauren when I didn't have to, I wasn't one hundred percent sure yet. So I gave her a maybe, telling her I'd have to talk with Charlie first.

She talked of nothing but the dance on the way to Spanish, continuing as if without an interruption when class finally ended, five minutes late, and we were on our way to lunch. I was far too lost in my own frenzy of anticipation to notice much of what she said. I was painfully eager to see not just him but all the Cullen's. I don't know why I was so excited to see them all but after all they were Edward's siblings. And then a different feeling jolted through me — would Edward be waiting to sit with me again? I shook my head and walked into the cafeteria, no need to get my hopes up. My hopes up oh really what the hell am I doing right now. I really can't like Edward, it's not right. Seriously how many times do I have to tell myself before I will actually start believing it?

As was my routine, I glanced first toward the Cullen's table. A shiver of panic trembled in my stomach as I realized that only his sisters were sitting there. With dwindling hope, my eyes scoured the rest of the cafeteria, hoping to find him alone, waiting for me. The place was nearly filled — Spanish had made us late — but there was no sign of Edward or his brothers. Desolation hit me with crippling strength. Maybe they were late or still out camping or something.

I shambled along behind Jessica, not bothering to pretend to listen anymore. It wasn't like she would notice that I wasn't listening and I really wasn't interested anyway. We were late enough that everyone was already at our table. I avoided the empty chair next to Mike in favour of one by Angela. I vaguely noticed that Mike held the chair out politely for Jessica, and that her face lit up in response. Wow so all it took was for me to put that out there that Jessica likes him, God some guys really are blind. Hopefully now Mike will follow Jessica around like he is her little lost puppy now and leave me alone.

Angela asked a few quiet questions about the Macbeth paper, which I answered as naturally as I could while spiralling downward in misery. I hoped that she didn't notice. I didn't want people to think that I had a thing for Edward, I know I had a hard enough time convincing myself about that right now. She, too, invited me to go with them tonight, and I agreed now, grasping at anything to distract myself. I was actually starting to feel a little bit pathetic, really as if Edward would like me. Yes we sat together the other day but that doesn't mean he likes me. He shouldn't like me, I shouldn't like him and I definitely shouldn't encourage whatever it is I feel. I am such an idiot.

The rest of lunch passed quickly and I was thankful that the conversation didn't come my way again. I realized I'd been holding on to a last shred of hope when I entered Biology, saw his empty seat, and felt a new wave of disappointment. How can I feel like this over a guy that I barely even know and that wanted nothing to do with me in the first place. He even warned me to stay away from him, maybe what I am feeling is just some sort of effect from the fact that he saved me from Tyler's van. That is totally possible like I'm grateful but its turned into something more. Ok I think I am definitely reading too much into this.

The rest of the day passed slowly, dismally. In Gym, we had a lecture on the rules of badminton, the next torture they had lined up for me. But at least it meant I got to sit and listen instead of stumbling around on the court. The best part was the coach didn't finish, so I got another day off tomorrow. Internally I was doing a little happy dance. Never mind that the day after they would arm me with a racket before unleashing me on the rest of the class. I really feel sorry for my future team mate and opposing team, hopefully I won't injury myself or them too much.

I was glad to leave campus, so I would be free to pout and mope before I went out tonight with Jessica and company. But right after I walked in the door of Charlie's house, Jessica called to cancel our plans. I tried to be happy that Mike had asked her out to dinner — I really was relieved that he finally seemed to be catching on - about bloody time I say — but my enthusiasm sounded false in my own ears. She rescheduled our shopping trip for tomorrow night. Well at least I had something to do tomorrow night.

Well tonight I had no idea what to do. I decided to start organising dinner. I decided to marinate some fish – since we had an endless supply - with a salad and bread left over from the night before, so there was nothing else to do there until I had to actually cook the fish. I spent a focused half hour on homework, but then I was through with that, too. I figured that I should check my emails seen as how I haven't done it in a while. I had a backlog of letters from my mother so I started to read them. I did notice that they were getting snippier as they progressed to the present email that was sent this morning. I sighed and typed a quick response. She threatened to call if she didn't receive an email by 7pm tonight. So I decided to write her now save her calling.

_Mom, _

_Sorry. I've been out. I went to the beach with some friends from school. And I had to write a paper. Nothing too interesting happening, it is Forks after all. Heading to Port Angeles tomorrow after school with some friends, they need to get dresses for the dance and no I am not going. No it isn't because someone hasn't asked me, it is girls choice. My choice is to not go. I'm not going because I don't want to lead anyone on. I'm not going so please don't bring it up. _

_It's sunny outside today - I know, I'm shocked, too - so I'm going to go outside and soak up as much vitamin D as I can. I'm fine._

_I love you,_

_Bella._

I decided to kill an hour with non-school-related reading. I had a small collection of books that came with me to Forks, the shabbiest volume being a compilation of the works of Jane Austen. I selected that one and headed to the backyard, grabbing a ragged old quilt from the linen cupboard at the top of the stairs on my way down.

Outside in Charlie's small, square yard, I folded the quilt in half and laid it out of the reach of the trees' shadows on the thick lawn that would always be slightly wet, no matter how long the sun shone. I lay on my stomach, crossing my ankles in the air, flipping through the different novels in the book, trying to decide which would occupy my mind the most thoroughly. My favourites were Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility. I'd read the first most recently, so I started into Sense and Sensibility, only to remember after I began that the hero of the story happened to be named Edward. Angrily, I turned to Mansfield Park, but the hero of that piece was named Edmund, and that was just too close. Weren't there any other names available in the late eighteenth century?

I snapped the book shut, annoyed, and rolled over onto my back. Not matter what I did I couldn't get Edward out of my head. I pushed my sleeves up as high as they would go, and closed my eyes. I would think of nothing but the warmth on my skin, I told myself severely. The breeze was still light, but it blew tendrils of my hair around my face, and that tickled a bit. I pulled all my hair over my head, letting it fan out on the quilt above me, and focused again on the heat that touched my eyelids, my cheekbones, my nose, my lips, my forearms, my neck, soaked through my light shirt… The next thing I was conscious of was the sound of Charlie's cruiser turning onto the bricks of the driveway. I sat up in surprise, realizing the light was gone, behind the trees, and I had fallen asleep. I looked around, muddled, I don't remember falling asleep. I must have been tired, oh I hope I can sleep tonight.

"Charlie?" I asked. But I could hear his door slamming in front of the house.

I jumped up, foolishly edgy. I jumped up a little too fast and had to crouch down in order for my head to stop spinning. I then gathering the now-damp quilt and my book and headed towards the house.

I ran inside quickly and placed my book and the quilt on the lounge and headed to the kitchen. I took out a pan and placed some oil in it to start heating it on the stove, realizing that dinner would be late. Charlie was hanging up his gun belt and stepping out of his boots when turned around.

"Sorry, Dad, dinner's not ready yet — I fell asleep outside." I stifled a yawn.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I wanted to catch the score on the game, anyway."

I got dinner ready as quickly as I could and set the table. Dinner was a quiet event. Charlie said that he enjoyed the marinated fish, it was a new marinate I looked up on the internet. I am actually glad he liked it. Once I cleared the table I quickly washed the dishes and headed into the living room.

I decided to watch TV with Charlie after dinner, for something to do, I was that desperate to have something to do. There wasn't anything on I wanted to watch, but he knew that I didn't like baseball, so he turned it to some mindless sitcom that neither of us enjoyed. He seemed happy, though, to be doing something together. And it felt good, despite my depression, to make him happy. At the very least I could do that for him.

"Dad," I said during a commercial, "Jessica and Angela are going to look at dresses for the dance tomorrow night in Port Angeles, and they wanted me to help them choose… do you mind if I go with them?"

"Jessica Stanley?" he asked.

"And Angela Weber." I sighed as I gave him the details.

He was confused. "But you're not going to the dance, right?"

"No, Dad, but I'm helping them find dresses — you know, giving them constructive criticism." I wouldn't have to explain this to a woman.

"Well, okay." He seemed to realize that he was out of his depth with the girlie stuff. "It's a school night, though."

"We'll leave right after school, so we can get back early. You'll be okay for dinner, right?" I asked concerned.

"Bells, I fed myself for seventeen years before you got here, I think I can manage for one night." he reminded me.

"Yeah don't remind me. I really don't know how you survived," I muttered, rolling my eyes, then added more clearly, "I'll leave some things for cold-cut sandwiches in the fridge, okay? Right on top." I wanted to make sure he was ok for dinner, I didn't want to come home to a kitchen that had been caught on-fire from him trying to make dinner.

"You don't need to do that Bells, but if it will make you happy by all means go ahead." He said with a laugh. "Bella don't you have your appointment with Dr Stewart tomorrow?" He asked.

"Oh yeah I do. I might ring her office tomorrow and cancel and go on Thursday." I said.

"You sure that's a good idea. I mean it is helping you right? You probably should go to it."

"Dad I really think I need some girl time and I'm sure I can reschedule or just go to the Thursday appointment. Missing one isn't going to hurt." I Stated.

"Well ok if you are sure."

"I am Dad. Okay well I'm going to go have a shower and read a book before bed." I stated.

I walked up the stairs to my bedroom, before I got half way up I heard Charlie change the channel back to some sports game. Honestly all he ever watches is sports. I continued up to my room to get my bathroom bag and headed to the bathroom. I showered quickly washing my hair and letting the warm water flow over my face and my back. I got out and dried my hair and wrapped the towel around me. I walked back to my bedroom and got dressed and threw myself onto my bed. I really didn't feel like reading but I wasn't tired either. I decided to listen to music again in the hope that it would put me to sleep eventually. I turned it down so that it was background noise and started to think about Edward. I fell asleep thinking about him.

It was sunny again in the morning. I awakened with renewed hope that I grimly tried to suppress. I dressed for the warmer weather in a long sleeve white shirt which I wore a deep blue flowing singlet over the top - this is something I'd worn in the dead of winter in Phoenix – and a pair of jeans. For once I didn't throw up as soon as I woke up but that didn't last long. Once I was dressed I threw up twice and then again after I ate breakfast. I honestly think that my morning sickness is getting worse. I pushed that aside and brushed my teeth again before heading to school.

I had planned my arrival at school so that I barely had time to make it to class. With a sinking heart, I circled the full lot looking for a space, while also searching for the silver Volvo that was clearly not there. I parked in the last row and hurried to English, arriving breathless, but subdued, before the final bell.

It was the same as yesterday — I just couldn't keep little sprouts of hope from budding in my mind, only to have them squashed painfully as I searched the lunchroom in vain and sat at my empty Biology table. Edward's sisters were at school but Edward and his brothers were not. Edward's sister Alice kept smiling at me whenever we looked at each other and well his other sister Rosalie just stared at me, somehow I felt that she didn't like me.

The Port Angeles scheme was back on again for tonight and made all the more attractive by the fact that Lauren had other obligations. I was extremely grateful to whatever or whoever Lauren's obligations were, I didn't fancy sitting in a car with her for an extended period of time. I was anxious to get out of town so I could stop glancing over my shoulder, hoping to see him appearing out of the blue the way he always did. I vowed to myself that I would be in a good mood tonight and not ruin Angela's or Jessica's enjoyment in the dress hunting. Maybe I could do a little clothes shopping as well. I refused to think that I might be shopping alone in Seattle this weekend, no longer interested in the earlier arrangement. Surely he wouldn't cancel without at least telling me, he had to tell me first right, I mean any decent human being would.

After school, Jessica followed me home in her old white Mercury so that I could ditch my books and truck. I brushed through my hair quickly when I was inside, feeling a slight lift of excitement as I contemplated getting out of Forks. I quickly rang Dr Stewart's office to cancel my appointment. I didn't reschedule, I had an appointment on Thursday anyway. I left a note for Charlie on the table, explaining again where to find dinner, switched my scruffy wallet from my school bag to a purse I rarely used, and ran out to join Jessica. We went to Angela's house next, and she was waiting for us. My excitement increased exponentially as we actually drove out of the town limits. Finally I was getting out of Forks even though it wasn't far but still it was out of Forks.

Jess drove faster than the Chief, so we made it to Port Angeles by four. It had been a while since I'd had a girls' night out, and the estrogen rush was invigorating. We listened to whiny rock songs while Jessica jabbered on about the boys we hung out with. Jessica's dinner with Mike had gone very well, and she was hoping that by Saturday night they would have progressed to the first-kiss stage. I smiled to myself, pleased, and I was thankful that they were getting along. Mike hopefully now would back off and take more notice of Jessica. Angela was passively happy to be going to the dance, but not really interested in Eric. Jess tried to get her to confess who her type was, but I interrupted with a question about dresses after a while, to spare her. Angela threw a grateful glance my way. Angela was like me in a way didn't like people knowing everything.

Port Angeles was a beautiful little tourist trap, much more polished and quaint than Forks. But Jessica and Angela knew it well, so they didn't plan to waste time on the picturesque boardwalk by the bay. Jess drove straight to the one big department store in town, which was a few streets in from the bay area's visitor-friendly face. I was actually just glad to be at some shops, ok I know I'm not one to actually like going shopping but when you have been trapped in Forks that has zero shops, well besides the essentials, it is a welcome change.

The dance was billed as semiformal, and we weren't exactly sure what that meant. Both Jessica and Angela seemed surprised and almost disbelieving when I told them I'd never been to a dance in Phoenix.

"Didn't you like ever go with a boyfriend or something? Like not to a dance then but like out on a date or something?" Jess asked dubiously as we walked through the front doors of the store.

"Really," I tried to convince her, not wanting to confess my dancing problems or my previous history with guys. "I've never had a boyfriend or anything remotely close to one. I didn't go out much."

"What, are you serious? Why not then?" Jessica demanded.

"No one ever asked me I guess," I answered honestly. They didn't need to know that I wasn't popular that no one ever really noticed me, well besides James but that was completely different.

She looked skeptical. "People ask you out here you know," she reminded me, "and you tell them no, did you notice that?" We were in the juniors' section now, scanning the racks for dress-up clothes.

"Well, except for Tyler," Angela amended quietly, trying to hid her laughter.

"Excuse me?" I gasped. "What the hell did you just say?"

"Well Tyler told everyone he's taking you to prom," Jessica informed me with suspicious eyes.

"He said what?" I sounded like I was choking.

"See Jess I told you it wasn't true," Angela murmured to Jessica.

I was silent, still lost in shock that was quickly turning to irritation. But we had found the dress racks, and now we had work to do.

"That's why Lauren doesn't like you," Jessica giggled while we pawed through the dresses on the rack. "She thinks you like him and well she likes him so yeah, she kinda hates you. She thinks you're trying to steal her man."

I ground my teeth. "Do you think that if I ran him over with my Truck he would stop feeling guilty about the accident? That he might give up on making amends and call it even? I don't like him like that at all so I don't know where Lauren got that idea from."

"Maybe," Jess snickered. '"If that's why he's doing this. Maybe he does like you and it's not just about the accident. That would so make for an interesting school year. I can see Lauren's face now if Tyler keeps this up."

I just rolled my eyes and of course Angela seen this and smiled. Typical Jessica, she likes drama and I bet she enjoys causing it too.

"Like I said Jess, I don't like Tyler in that way and that isn't going to change, ever."

"Ok if you say so." Jess replied, she sounded like she didn't really believe me.

The dress selection wasn't large, but both of them found a few things to try on. I sat on a low chair just inside the dressing room, by the three way mirror, trying to control my fuming. Maybe Tyler hit is head a little too hard in the accident, maybe he was delusional.

Jess was torn between two — one a long, strapless, red number, the other a knee-length electric blue with spaghetti straps. I encouraged her to go with the blue; why not play up the eyes? I don't actually think Jessica thought I was being helpful, that girl has serious trust issues. I mean why would I tell her something looks good if it didn't, I am honest but whatever. It seems like she is use to people not telling her the truth. Angela chose a pale pink dress that draped around her tall frame nicely and brought out honey tints in her light brown hair. I complimented them both generously and helped by returning the rejects to their racks. The whole process was much shorter and easier than similar trips I'd taken with Renée at home. I guess there was something to be said for limited choices.

We headed over to shoes and accessories. While they tried things on I merely watched and critiqued, not in the mood to shop for myself, though I did need new shoes and jeans. I would go shopping another day for myself, I just wasn't in the mood now. The girls'-night high was wearing off in the wake of my annoyance at Tyler, leaving room for the gloom to move back in.

"Um Angela?" I began, hesitant, while she was trying on a pair of pink strappy heels — she was overjoyed to have a date tall enough that she could wear high heels at all.

Jessica had drifted to the jewellery counter and we were alone, finally. I didn't want to talk to Angela about this when Jessica was around. Jessica was such a gossip and couldn't keep anything to herself, even if her life depended on it.

"Yes?" She held her leg out, twisting her ankle to get a better view of the shoe.

I chickened out. "I like those."

"I think I'll might get them — though they'll never match anything but the one dress so I don't know, it seems kind of pointless to get them for one night and never wear them again." she mused.

"Oh, go ahead — they're on sale, you deserve to treat yourself every now and then," I encouraged. She smiled, putting the lid back on a box that contained more practical-looking off-white shoes.

I tried again. "Um, Angela…" She looked up curiously waiting for me to continue.

"Is it normal for the… Cullen boys" — I kept my eyes on the shoes — "to be out of school a lot?" I failed miserably in my attempt to sound nonchalant.

"Yes, when the weather is good they go backpacking and camping all the time — even the doctor. They're all real outdoorsy," she told me quietly, examining her shoes, too. She didn't ask one question, let alone the hundreds that Jessica would have unleashed. I was beginning to really like Angela. She seemed like someone you could really trust.

"Oh." I let the subject drop as Jessica returned to show us the rhinestone jewellery she'd found to match her silver shoes.

We planned to go to dinner at a little Italian restaurant on the boardwalk, but the dress shopping hadn't taken as long as we'd expected. Jess and Angela were going to take their clothes back to the car and then walk down to the bay. I told them I would meet them at the restaurant in an hour — I wanted to look for a bookstore. They were both willing to come with me, but I encouraged them to go have fun — they didn't know how preoccupied I could get when surrounded by books; it was something I preferred to do alone. They walked off to the car chattering happily, and I headed in the direction Jess pointed out. Hopefully I wouldn't get lost that is the last thing I need.

I had no trouble finding the bookstore, I walked in and quickly started browsing. I really wasn't looking for anything in particular, I just wanted to find something new to read. I found a display of books that caught my attention. It was a rather large display so I decided to inspect further. I picked up one entitle Twilight and read the back. The books seemed to be about vampires, and I thought why not something different. It seemed to be a series of books so I got them all. Since I had the four books I decided to not look any further as these would keep me busy for a while.

I quickly paid for them and made my way back outside. Since it didn't take as long as I expected I decided to look around a little before meeting up with Angela and Jess at the restaurant.

I had no idea where I was going so I just followed the sidewalk, the road was filling up with end-of-the workday traffic, and hoped I was headed toward downtown. I wasn't paying as much attention as I should to where I was going; I was wrestling with despair. I was trying so hard not to think about him, and what Angela had said… and more than anything trying to beat down my hopes for Saturday, fearing a disappointment more painful than the rest, when I looked up to see someone's silver Volvo parked along the street and it all came crashing down on me. Stupid, unreliable Cullen, I thought to myself.

I stomped along in a southerly direction annoyed, toward some glass-fronted shops that looked promising. But when I got to them, they were just a repair shop and a vacant space. I still had too much time to go looking for Jess and Angela yet, and I definitely needed to get my mood in hand before I met back up with them. They didn't need to deal with my bad mood. I ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times and took some deep breaths before I continued around the corner.

I started to realize, as I crossed another road, that I was going the wrong direction. There were no other people here and the buildings were looking more and more like warehouses. I decided to turn east at the next corner, and then loop around after a few blocks and try my luck on a different street on my way back to the boardwalk. There has to be some shops around here somewhere.

A group of four men turned around the corner I was heading for, dressed too casually to be heading home from the office, but they were too grimy to be tourists. As they approached me, I realized they weren't too many years older than I was. They were joking loudly among themselves, laughing raucously and punching each other's arms. It looks like they had been drinking, and were still drinking as two of them had a can of beer in their hands. I scooted as far to the inside of the sidewalk as I could to give them room, walking swiftly, looking past them to the corner. I suddenly got a really eerie feeling and I didn't like it one bit.

"Hey, there!" one of them called as they passed, and he had to be talking to me since no one else was around. I glanced up automatically.

Two of them had paused, the other two were slowing. The closest, a heavyset, dark-haired man in his early twenties, seemed to be the one who had spoken. He was wearing a flannel shirt open over a dirty t-shirt, cut-off jeans, and sandals. He took half a step toward me. I tried not to panic, it could be innocent enough, I shouldn't jump to conclusions.

"Hello," I mumbled, a knee-jerk reaction. Then I quickly looked away and walked faster toward the corner. I could hear them laughing at full volume behind me.

"Hey, wait!" one of them called after me again, but I kept my head down and rounded the corner with a sigh of relief. I could still hear them chortling behind me.

I found myself on a sidewalk leading past the backs of several warehouses, I knew they were warehouses as each had a loading dock for unloading trucks. The south side of the street had no sidewalk, only a chain-link fence topped with barbed wire protecting some kind of car storage yard. I'd wandered far past the part of Port Angeles that I, as a guest, was intended to see. God right now I felt so stupid, I should have stayed closer to the shops or headed back to Jess and Angela.

It was starting to get dark, I realized, the clouds finally returning, piling up on the western horizon, creating an early sunset. The eastern sky was still clear, but greying, shot through with streaks of pink and orange. I'd left my jacket in the car, and a sudden shiver made me cross my arms tightly across my chest. A single van passed me, and then the road was empty.

The sky all of a sudden darkened further, and, as I looked over my shoulder to glare at the offending cloud, I realized with a shock that two men were walking quietly twenty feet behind me. I felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest.

They were from the same group I'd passed at the corner, though neither was the dark one who'd spoken to me. I turned my head forward at once, quickening my pace. A chill that had nothing to do with the weather made me shiver again. My purse was on a shoulder strap and I had it slung across my body, the way you were supposed to wear it so it wouldn't get snatched. I knew exactly where my pepper spray was — still in my duffle bag under the bed, never unpacked, nice one there should have packed it in my bag. I didn't have much money with me, just a twenty and some ones, and I thought about "accidentally" dropping my bag and walking away. But a small, frightened voice in the back of my mind warned me that they might be something worse than thieves.

I listened intently to their quiet footsteps, which were much too quiet when compared to the boisterous noise they'd been making earlier, and it didn't sound like they were speeding up, or getting any closer to me. Really what the hell were they doing, if they are trying to scare me then it is bloody working.

Breathe, I had to remind myself. You don't know they're following you, I could just be paranoid. I continued to walk as quickly as I could without actually running, focusing on the right-hand turn that was only a few yards away from me now. I could hear them, staying as far back as they'd been before. A blue car turned onto the street from the south and drove quickly past me. I thought of jumping out in front of it, but I hesitated, inhibited, unsure that I was really being pursued, and then it was too late.

I reached the corner, and found it to be a car park that backed onto a closed shopping strip. It seemed that the shops here had closed already and there was only three cars parked in the car park. I quickly decided to head towards to car park, someone still had to be around, I mean there were three cars still parked there. I concentrated on the faint footsteps behind me, deciding whether or not to run. They sounded farther back, though, and I knew they could outrun me in any case. I was sure to trip and go sprawling if I tried to go any faster. The footfalls were definitely farther back. I risked a quick glance over my shoulder, and they were maybe forty feet back now, I saw with relief. But they were both staring at me, it was creepy the way they looked at me. Then it hit me, James looked at me like that. I swear my heart stopped for a moment, I hoped that someone was around.

It seemed to take forever for me to get to the car park. I kept my pace steady, the men behind me falling ever so slightly farther behind with every step. Maybe they realized they had scared me and were sorry or maybe they knew that people would probably be around now. I saw two cars going north pass the car park I was heading for, and I exhaled in relief. There would be more people around once I got there.

I could see in the distance, two intersections down, streetlamps, cars, and more pedestrians, but they were all too far away. Because lounging against the western building, midway down the car park, were the other two men from the group, both watching with excited smiles as I froze dead on the sidewalk. I realized then that I wasn't being followed. I was being herded. They must of known that I would be heading this way.

I paused for only a second, but it felt like a very long time. I turned then and darted to the other side of the car park closest to the road and away from the shop fronts. I had a sinking feeling that it was a wasted attempt. The footsteps behind me were louder now.

"There you are!" The booming voice of the stocky, dark-haired man shattered the intense quiet and made me jump. In the gathering darkness, it seemed like he was looking past me.

"Yeah," a voice called loudly from behind me, making me jump again as I tried to hurry down the street. "We just took a little detour."

My steps had to slow now. I was closing the distance between myself and the lounging pair too quickly. I had a good loud scream, and I sucked in air, preparing to use it, but my throat was so dry I wasn't sure how much volume I could manage. With a quick movement I slipped my purse over my head, gripping the strap with one hand, ready to surrender it or use it as weapon as need demanded.

The thickset man shrugged away from the wall as I warily made my way past them.

"Stay away from me," I warned in a voice that was supposed to sound strong and fearless. But I was right about the dry throat — no volume. I hoped that someone would come and that would scare them off.

"Don't be like that, sweetheart," he called, and the raucous laughter started again behind me.

This scene seemed familiar but different. I had been here before but it was in my own house. I had stupidly let James into my house and my mom wasn't home. I walked in alone with him, I was stupid. Just like I am stupid now, walking alone in the back streets as it starts to get dark, idiot. The memories almost crippled me but eventually I snapped out of it and I braced myself, feet apart, trying to remember through my panic what little self-defence I knew. Heel of the hand thrust upward, hopefully breaking the nose or shoving it into the brain. Finger through the eye socket — try to hook around and pop the eye out. And the standard knee to the groin, of course. That same pessimistic voice in my mind spoke up then, reminding me that I probably wouldn't have a chance against one of them, and there were four. Shut up! I commanded the voice before terror could incapacitate me. I wasn't going out without taking someone with me, not this time anyway. I tried to swallow so I could build up a decent scream.

In the fear of it all I let my guard down, my heart began to sink – not again – I couldn't go through this again. I am barely making it through it once but twice, oh god I just don't think I could.

Suddenly a car pulled into the car park and stopped beside me. I remember this car, it seems so familiar and then the driver's door opened and Edward got out.

"Bella." Edward's velvet voice said.

"Edward." I croaked out.

"Do you need a lift?" He asked concerned, looking between me and the men.

"Thanks." I replied.

He came over and opened the passenger door for me to get in, which I did quickly. I just wanted to be out of here. Edward seemed to give the men outside a cold stare and they seemed to start to walk in the direction that they came from.

It was amazing how instantaneously the choking fear vanished, amazing how suddenly the feeling of security washed over me — once I was in the car. My breathing was starting to return to normal and I could feel my heart rate slowly start to return to normal.

It was dark in the car, no light had come on with the opening of the door, and I could barely see his face in the glow from the dashboard as he got into the driver's seat.

The tires squealed as he spun around to face north, accelerating too quickly, swerving toward the stunned men on the street. I caught a glimpse of them diving for the sidewalk as we straightened out and sped toward the harbor.

"Put on your seat belt," he commanded, and I realized I was clutching the seat with both hands. I quickly obeyed; the snap as the belt connected was loud in the darkness.

I felt utterly safe and, for the moment, totally unconcerned about where we were going. I stared at his face in profound relief, relief that went beyond my sudden deliverance. I studied his flawless features in the limited light, until it occurred to me that his expression was murderously angry.

"Are you okay?" I asked, surprised at how hoarse my voice sounded.

"No," he said curtly, and his tone was livid. I had no idea why but it didn't scare me.

I sat in silence, watching his face while his blazing eyes stared straight ahead, until the car came to a sudden stop. I glanced around, but it was too dark to see anything beside the vague outline of dark trees crowding the roadside. We weren't in town anymore.

"Bella?" he asked, his voice tight, controlled.

"Yes?" My voice was still rough. I tried to clear my throat quietly.

"Are you all right?" He still didn't look at me, but the fury was plain on his face.

"Yes, they didn't hurt me," I croaked softly. If he had been any later that would probably be a different story altogether. I shuddered at the thought.

"Distract me, please," he ordered.

"I'm sorry, what? What do you mean distract you?"

He exhaled sharply. Something was wrong.

"Just talk to me about something unimportant until I calm down," he clarified, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Um." I wracked my brain for something trivial. "I'm going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?"

He was still squeezing his eyes closed, but the corner of his mouth twitched.

"Can I ask why?"

"He's telling everyone that he's taking me to prom — either he's insane or he's still trying to make up for almost killing me last… well, you remember it, and he thinks prom is somehow the correct way to do this. So I figure if I endanger his life, then we're even, and he can't keep trying to make amends. I don't need enemies and maybe Lauren would back off if he left me alone. I might have to total his Sentra, though. If he doesn't have a ride he can't take anyone to prom. I seriously don't know why he wants to take me to prom, he hasn't even asked me and I know I haven't said yes to it and I wouldn't say yes even if he had asked me." I babbled on.

"I heard about that." He sounded a bit more composed.

"You did? How?" I asked in disbelief, my previous irritation flaring. "If he's paralysed from the neck down, he can't go to the prom, either," I muttered, refining my plan.

Edward sighed, and finally opened his eyes. "My sister and Rosalie said something to me when I got home today and I don't think it would be a good idea for you to run him over either. You don't want to go to prison for murder, now do you?"

"I guess not. That would probably not be a good idea then."

He looked at me then with a smile on his face. He seemed better now.

"Better?" I asked.

"No, not really." He responded.

I waited, but he didn't speak again. He leaned his head back against the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car. His face was rigid.

"What's wrong?" My voice came out in a whisper.

"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella." He was whispering, too, and as he stared out the window, his eyes narrowed into slits. "But it wouldn't be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those…" He didn't finish his sentence, looking away, struggling for a moment to control his anger again. "At least," he continued, "that's what I'm trying to convince myself. I don't want to go to prison for murder either."

"Yeah you're probably right about the whole prison thing." The word seemed inadequate, but I couldn't think of a better response.

My head started to feel lightheaded and I felt like I was about to throw up. I quickly undid my seat belt, opened the door and quickly got out. Edward must have wondered what I was doing because he came around to my side.

"Bella what's wrong? Are you ok?" He asked.

I just nodded before I leaned over and threw up in the grass. Edward came and held my hair back for me. After I finished Edward helped me get back in the car and he leaned over me to get to the middle console of the car. He got out a bottle of water and handed it to me.

"Here rinse your mouth out and have a drink." He said.

"Thanks."

"Are you ok? Should I call my Dad? You probably are going into shock or something." He rambled.

"No I'm fine really." I stated, hoping that he would believe me.

"Are you sure? Maybe I should take you to the hospital or at the very least call my Dad."

"No I'm fine really. Just a little shaken up but I'm fine." I stated.

"Ok well If you are sure but promise me you will let me know if you don't feel well and I will take you to the hospital, ok?" He pleaded.

"I promise."

Edward got back in the car and we sat in silence again. I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was past six-thirty.

"Jessica and Angela will be worried," I murmured. "I was supposed to meet them for dinner at La Bella Italia."

He started the engine without another word, turning around smoothly and headed back toward town. We were under the streetlights in no time at all, still going a little too fast, weaving with ease through the cars slowly cruising the boardwalk. He parallel-parked against the curb in a space I would have thought much too small for the Volvo, but he slid in effortlessly in one try. I looked out the window to see the lights of La Bella Italia, and Jess and Angela just leaving, pacing anxiously away from us.

"Thanks Edward. Not just for dropping me off but for before as well, I don't know what would have happened if you didn't turn up." I began, but then I just shook my head. I heard the door open and turned to see him getting out.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm taking you to dinner of course." He smiled slightly, but his eyes were hard.

He stepped out of the car and slammed the door. I fumbled with my seat belt, and then hurried to get out of the car as well. He was waiting for me on the sidewalk.

He spoke before I could. "Go stop Jessica and Angela before I have to track them down, too. I don't think I could restrain myself if I ran into your other friends again."

I shivered at the threat in his voice.

"Jess! Angela!" I yelled after them, waving when they turned. They rushed back to me, the pronounced relief on both their faces simultaneously changing to surprise as they saw who I was standing next to. They hesitated a few feet from us.

"Oh yeah Bella where have you been?" Jessica's voice was suspicious. "You really went to a bookstore?"

"I went to the bookstore and then I got lost," I admitted sheepishly, while holding up my bag of books as proof I actually went to the bookstore. "And then I ran into Edward." I gestured toward him. I hoped that they don't think I did this on purpose.

"Would it be all right if I joined you?" he asked in his silken, irresistible voice. I could see from their staggered expressions that he had never unleashed his talents on them before.

"Er… yeah sure," Jessica breathed.

"Um, actually, Bella, we already ate while we were waiting — sorry," Angela confessed.

"That's fine really — I'm not that hungry anyway." I shrugged.

"I think you should eat something, Bella." Edward's voice was low, but full of authority. He looked up at Jessica and spoke slightly louder. "Do you mind if I drive Bella home tonight? That way you won't have to wait while she eats."

"Uh, no problem, I guess…" She bit her lip, trying to figure out from my expression whether that was what I wanted. I winked at her. I wanted nothing more than to be alone with my perpetual savoir. There were so many questions that I couldn't bombard him with till we were by ourselves. I hoped that he would talk to me tonight and not just evade my questions all together.

"Okay, if you are sure." Angela was quicker than Jessica. "See you tomorrow, Bella… Edward." She grabbed Jessica's hand and had to pulled her toward the car, which I could see a little ways away, parked across First Street. As they got in, Jess turned and waved, her face eager with curiosity. Great now I will have to tell her about tonight at school tomorrow, I was so not looking forward to that. Jessica was like a dog to a bone when she wanted information. I waved back, waiting for them to drive away before I turned to face him.

"Honestly, I'm not hungry," I insisted, looking up to scrutinize his face.

His expression was unreadable.

"Humour me. You probably just threw up your lunch and you will be hungry later."

He walked to the door of the restaurant and held it open with an obstinate expression. Obviously, there would be no further discussion. I walked past him into the restaurant with a resigned sigh. At least it seems like he wants to spend time with me then.

The restaurant wasn't crowded — it was the off-season in Port Angeles. The host was female, and I understood the look in her eyes as she assessed Edward. She welcomed him a little more warmly than necessary. I was surprised by how much that bothered me. She was several inches taller than I was, and unnaturally blonde.

"A table for two?" His voice was alluring, whether he was aiming for that or not. I saw her eyes flicker to me and then away, satisfied by my obvious ordinariness, and by the cautious, no-contact space Edward kept between us.

She led us to a table big enough for four in the centre of the most crowded area of the dining floor. I was about to sit, but Edward shook his head at me.

"Perhaps you have something more private?" he insisted quietly to the host. I wasn't sure, but it looked like he smoothly handed her a tip. I'd never seen anyone refuse a table except in old movies.

"Sure." She sounded as surprised as I was. She turned and led us around a partition to a small ring of booths — all of them empty. "How's this then?"

"Perfect." He flashed his gleaming smile, dazing her momentarily.

"Um" — she shook her head, blinking — "your server will be right out." She walked away unsteadily.

"You really shouldn't do that to people," I criticized. "It's hardly fair."

"Do what?" He asked confused.

"Dazzle them like that — she's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now."

He seemed even more confused.

"Oh, come on seriously," I said dubiously. "You have to know the effect you have on people. You can't be that blind can you" Oh god please don't let him be another Mike Newtown.

He tilted his head to one side, and his eyes were curious. "I dazzle people, really?"

"You haven't noticed? Wow. Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?"

He ignored my questions. "Do I dazzle you, Bella?"

"Yes, Frequently. It is rather scary," I admitted.

And then our server arrived, her face expectant. The hostess had definitely dished behind the scenes, and this new girl didn't look disappointed. She flipped a strand of short black hair behind one ear and smiled with unnecessary warmth. I rolled my eyes and Edward laughed.

"Hello. My name is Amber, and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?" I didn't miss that she was speaking only to him, typical.

He looked at me, he was a bit of a gentleman if I do say so myself. It was rather nice that he was asking me first.

"I'll just have a Coke." It sounded like a question.

"Two Cokes it is then," he said smiling.

"I'll be right back with that," she assured him with another unnecessary smile. But he didn't see it. He was watching me.

"What?" I asked when she left.

His eyes stayed fixed on my face. "How are you feeling? Are you feeling better than you were before? Do you feel like you're going to be sick again?"

"I'm fine now," I replied, surprised by his intensity.

"You don't feel dizzy, sick, cold… ?"

"Nope not anymore, I'm fine really."

"Well, I'm actually surprised. I was sure you were going into shock." His face twisted up into that perfect crooked smile.

"I don't think that was why I was throwing up but I'm fine really," I said after I could breathe again. "I've always been very good at repressing unpleasant things and I've been in worse situations. I was just lucky that you showed up when you did." I looked down, I remember how I was with James situation I kept pushing it back trying not to deal with it. Looking back it was probably the worst thing I could have done. This was a different situation and I was fine, thanks to Edward.

"Just the same, I'll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you." He paused for a moment before continuing. "What do you mean you don't think that is why you were throwing up? What else happened, are you ok?" He asked concerned.

Right on cue, the waitress appeared with our drinks and a basket of breadsticks. For once I was thankful for the interruption, I had said too much. I hope that he didn't push it but knowing my luck he will. She stood with her back to me as she placed them on the table.

"Are you ready to order?" she asked Edward, in what I could gather was meant to be in a seductive sexy way but she actually failed miserably. I actually almost laughed.

"Bella?" he asked. She turned unwillingly toward me. Oh she doesn't really like that much.

I picked the first thing I saw on the menu. "Um… I'll have the mushroom ravioli, thanks."

"And you?" She turned back to him with a smile. Oh god really, can't she see he is here with someone, like for all she knows we could actually be dating, he did ask for a table in a more private area. Does that not give the indication that this could be a date? Are people in this part of the god damned country really that blind because I am starting to see a pattern here!

"I'll have the same as well." he said.

"Ok not a problem, it shouldn't take too long." The coy smile was still in place, but he wasn't looking at her, and she left dissatisfied. Well I guess that is good that he isn't paying attention to her, poor girl hopefully she gets the hint.

"Drink please," he ordered as he looked at the drink in front of me.

I sipped at my soda obediently, and then drank more deeply, surprised by how thirsty I was. I realized I had finished the whole thing when he pushed his glass toward me.

"Thanks," I muttered, still thirsty. The cold from the icy soda was radiating through my chest, and I shivered.

"Are you cold?" He asked concerned.

"It's just the Coke, I'm fine." I explained, shivering again.

"It's not just the coke, you could be going into shock and you might not be willing to admit that to me. Don't you have a jacket with you?" His voice was disapproving but yet concerned.

"Yes." I looked at the empty bench next to me. "Oh no— I left it in Jessica's car," I realized, well that was stupid.

Edward was shrugging out of his jacket. I suddenly realized that I had never once noticed what he was wearing — not just tonight, but ever. I just couldn't seem to look away from his face. I always focused on Edward's face but I made myself look now, focusing. He was removing a light beige leather jacket now; underneath he wore an blue sweater. It fit him snugly, emphasizing how muscular his chest was. He handed me the jacket, interrupting my ogling.

"Thanks, you didn't need to I am fine really." I said again, sliding my arms into his jacket. It was warm and it smelled amazing. I inhaled, trying to identify the delicious scent. I liked the smell of his cologne. The sleeves were much too long; I had to shove them back so I could free my hands.

"That colour blue looks lovely with your skin," he said, watching me. I was surprised; I looked down, flushing, of course.

He pushed the bread basket toward me.

"Really, I'm not going into shock, I promise I'm not." I protested.

"You should be — a normal person would be. You don't even look shaken." He seemed unsettled as his green eyes stared into mine.

"As I said I've been in worse situations. Much worse." I felt like crying from the thought of it. Ok Bella open your big mouth again why don't you. I was mentally cursing myself.

"What do you mean you've been in worse situations?" He asked looking concerned.

"Aren't you aware of my current situation?" I asked shocked, he must know. I'm sure that his father must have told him.

He looked at me questioningly, or maybe not.

"You don't know, your dad didn't say anything." I said hesitantly.

"My dad hasn't said anything about you. He can't tell me or anyone anything about his patients. He is a Doctor Bella they are bound by confidentiality and all that." He stated.

"Oh. Well um I guess. I ... I guess I should tell you but ..." I rambled.

"Bella it's ok you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He said, "I don't want you to be uncomfortable and if you don't want to tell me that is perfectly fine."

"Um no I think that I should tell you. I mean you deserve to know. I don't want you to find out later I guess you should know now." Why was it so hard to breathe all of a sudden?

"Bella breathe. It's ok you don't have to tell me." Edward said as he came to sit next to me. He began rubbing my arm soothingly.

A tear slid down my cheek. Why was this so hard? I know because I don't want him to run off, which I know he will do but I can't lead him on. Edward noticed my tear and wiped it away. My life really does suck.

"Bella it's ok I don't want to know if it is going to make you upset."

I took a deep breath. It was now or never. I closed my eyes I didn't want to see his face when I said it. If he wanted to run away I wouldn't stop him.

"I'm ... I'm pregnant."

Edward didn't say anything for a while. His hand was still rubbing my arm soothingly. Maybe this was the wrong time and place to tell him but I know I had to.

"Bella you said you have been in worse situations? How does being pregnant and almost most probably being raped by those guys tonight. I mean there was no one else around and I imagine if I didn't show up then I bet that's what would of happened. What were you doing out by yourself in that part of town?" He said confused.

"I went to the bookstore and got a little lost but I ... I just told you that I am pregnant and you don't ask about that but ask about the worse situation. I just said I am pregnant doesn't that bother you at all." I asked. I seriously, did he just miss the whole point of me telling him I was pregnant. "I'm pregnant Edward, why aren't you asking about that?"

"Bella it doesn't bother me at all, you're pregnant ok but what bothers me is that you have been in a worse situation than you were tonight." He stated. "Please answer me." He pleaded.

I just looked at him stunned. Seriously did he not hear me? He should of been out of his seat and heading to the door and running a mile right now. But no he is sitting here still rubbing my arm. I was so confused right now, this was not a normal reaction. Maybe he didn't like me in that way and was being a supportive friend. I mean a guy could be a friend and be supportive right?

"Bella you're actually starting to scare me now. Can you please answer me?" He pleaded.

"Oh Ok, well I didn't plan that or willingly participate in how that occurred. Me becoming pregnant that is." I honestly didn't know how to phrase it any better than that.

His face suddenly looked angry and his fists balled up, his veins stuck out. He was quiet for a moment, too quiet. Ok no I was officially scared, no scared of him but of his reaction.

"Edward?"

"Someone hurt you that way? Why are you keeping it then?" He sounded mad. But I couldn't tell if he was mad because of what happened or because I had decided to keep the baby.

"Yes and it isn't the baby's fault." What did it matter to him what I did. I looked down not sure what to say or why I was explaining this to him. I felt mad that he said that, why would he say that?

"Oh Bella I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He said concerned. "My dad definitely would not have said anything to me about that Bella I have no idea why you would think he would."

"I thought that was why you were avoiding me to start with and then you say that you are dangerous and shouldn't be friends. I just thought you were letting me know you didn't want to be friends with me, in a nice sort of way." I said.

"Bella I had no idea. The reasons why I was telling you we shouldn't be friends were because of me not because of you. I do want to be friends with you and it seems that we both have some baggage." He said comfortingly.

"Oh ok so you still want to be friends then?" I asked still hopeful.

"Yes Bella I do want to be friends with you, if you want to be friends with me." He said smiling.

"I do want to be friends, you don't mind that I am pregnant though?" I asked.

"No Bella I don't mind. I do mind how it happened and I am sorry for what you have been through. I just hope that you would want to be friends with me." He said trying to smile but failing.

"It isn't your fault. I was stupid and should have seen things for what they were at the time and I didn't. I'm dealing with it now." I said. I looked him in the eye, trying to decipher his facial expression, he said he hoped I would want to be friends with him like what the hell. "What do you mean that you hope I want to be friends with you? You didn't rape anyone did you?" I asked uncertainly.

"Oh god no Bella I didn't, I wouldn't do that to anyone." He said quickly trying to reassure me.

I picked up a breadstick and began nibbling on the end, measuring his expression. I remembered the day on the beach with Jacob and I started to think about what he had told me and I wondered when it would be okay to start questioning him.

"Talking about baggage do you want to talk to me about yours?" I asked quietly. "I understand if you don't but I kinda told you mine."

"I don't know Bella." He said just as quiet and shaking his head.

"I think I might have an idea of what it might be." I said as I looked him in the eye. I wanted to show him that I wasn't scared of him, as he had put it he was dangerous but I honestly didn't think that.

"What do you mean you might have an idea?" He asked.

"Um well I might have talked to someone and they said something about you," I confessed.

"And?" he prompted, he seemed a little mad. I hoped he wasn't mad at me.

But then the waitress strode around the partition with our food. I realized we were now on the same side of the booth. She set the dish in front of me — it looked pretty good — and turned quickly to Edward and placing his dish in front of him. She kind of looked pissed off now, it would have been funny except for the current topic of conversation.

"Isn't there anything I can get you?" I may have been imagining the double meaning in her words, really how classy is this girl. Honestly can't she take the hint, he is now sitting on my side of the booth, like seriously.

I laughed quietly, well I thought it was quietly. Edward glanced at me briefly with a puzzled look on his face, I shook my head.

"No, thank you, but some more soda would be nice." He gestured with a long white hand to the empty cups in front of me.

"Sure, I'll be right back." She removed the empty glasses and walked away.

"You were saying?" he asked.

"I'll tell you about it in the car. If you don't want to talk about it here?" I paused.

"Bella can you just tell me what you know now, please?" He raised one eyebrow, his voice ominous. "I don't think I want to wait."

"Can I ask a few questions first? That is if you don't mind?"

"Of course." He said smiling but it didn't reach his eyes.

The waitress was back with two more Cokes. She sat them down without a word this time, and left again. I took a sip and Edward did the same. Yeah that's right just walk away with no flirting, you should have done that to begin with.

"Well, go ahead," he pushed, his voice still hard.

I started with the most undemanding. Or so I thought. "You use to live in Alaska right?"

He looked down, folding his large hands together slowly on the table. "Yes we did."

His eyes flickered up at me from under his lashes, the hint of a smirk on his face. He obviously knew that I did in fact know something.

I unrolled my silverware, picked up my fork, and carefully speared a ravioli. I put it in my mouth slowly, still looking down, chewing while I thought. The mushrooms were good. I swallowed and took another sip of Coke before I looked up. Edward was eating as well. He hadn't gone to sit in his original seat, he was still sitting next to me and I didn't mind. It was weird, he was the one person that I didn't mind being close to and it kind of scares me a little.

"Okay, then." I looked at him, and continued slowly. "Something happened in Alaska with a girl right."

He seemed to be wavering, torn by some internal dilemma. His eyes locked with mine, and I guessed he was making the decision right then whether or not to simply tell me the truth.

"You can trust me, you know. I have told you what happened to me. There are only 5 other people that know besides you, it was hard to tell people but I knew I had to, in order to deal with it" I murmured. I reached forward, without thinking, to touch his folded hands, but he slid them away minutely, and I pulled my hand back.

"I don't know if I have a choice anymore." His voice was almost a whisper. "I was wrong — you do know more than I thought you would."

"I thought you were always right." I said smiling at him.

"I used to be." He shook his head again. "I was wrong about you on one other thing, as well. You're not a magnet for accidents — that's not a broad enough classification. You are a magnet for trouble. If there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you."

"And you put yourself into that category?" I guessed.

His face turned cold, expressionless. "Unequivocally."

I stretched my hand across the table again — ignoring him when he pulled back slightly once more — I placed my hand over his. It's the first time I willingly touched someone since that night. I didn't even think about it, it didn't matter anymore – not with him.

"Yes something did happen with a girl. I'm guessing you know that there was an accident?" He asked and I just nodded in acknowledgement. "Is that all you know about?"

"Yes, I know a few details not much and I don't know if I should believe it." I replied.

"There is more than that but ..." He started. Then he pressed his lips together, staring at me through narrowed eyes, deciding again. His eyes flashed down to my full plate, and then back to me.

"Let's eat now and we can talk on the drive back to Forks" he bargained.

I quickly scooped up another ravioli and popped it in my mouth. I didn't want to push him and if he wasn't ready to talk I wasn't going to make him. I know what it is like when you are made to talk and you're not ready.

We ate in silence. Edward stayed next to me throughout the whole meal. I kept glancing at him from the corner of my eye every now and then and I found him doing the same. After about twenty minutes he finally broke the silence.

"Are you ready to go home?" he asked.

"I'm ready to leave," I qualified, overly grateful that we had the hour long ride home together. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him, not yet.

The waitress appeared as if she'd been called. Or watching, creepy much.

"How are we doing?" she asked Edward.

"We're ready for the check, thank you." His voice was quiet, rougher, still reflecting the strain of our conversation. It seemed to muddle her. He looked up, waiting.

"S-sure," she stuttered. "Here you go." She pulled a small leather folder from the front pocket of her black apron and handed it to him.

There was a bill in his hand already. He slipped it into the folder and handed it right back to her.

"No change, thanks." He smiled. Then he stood up, and I scrambled awkwardly to my feet.

She smiled invitingly at him again. "You have a nice evening."

He didn't look away from me as he thanked her.

He walked close beside me to the door, his hand hovering at my lower back, not quiet touching me. I remembered what Jessica had said about her relationship with Mike, how they were almost to the first-kiss stage. I sighed. Edward seemed to hear me, and he looked down curiously. I don't know if I would ever be that comfortable with a guy again.

He opened the passenger door, holding it for me as I stepped in, shutting it softly behind me. I watched him walk around the front of the car, amazed, yet again, by how graceful he was. I probably should have been used to that by now — but I wasn't. I had a feeling Edward wasn't the kind of person anyone got used to.

Once inside the car, he started the engine and turned the heater on high. It had gotten very cold, and I guessed the good weather was at an end. I was warm in his jacket, though, breathing in the scent of it when I thought he couldn't see.

Edward pulled out through the traffic, flipping around to head toward the freeway.

"Now, what exactly do you know?" He asked.


	19. Chapter 18: Answers

**A/N Ok here it is Edwards Story, he finally tells Bella about his past! Let me know what you think!**

**Thanks to kfoll and TheCryingDevil for their continuous reviews/comments on my story and meab1966 as well for posting a comment on my story for the first time!  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 18: Answers<strong>

I looked over at him nervously, I didn't know what to say or how to say it and I didn't know if he would be angry that I knew something about him that he had obviously tried to keep from everyone.

"It's ok Bella you can tell me what you know." He said reassuringly.

"I just, I don't want you to be mad or angry with me for knowing what I do know." I said as I looked down playing with my ring nervously.

"Bella, it's ok I'm not going to be mad or angry, I just want to know what you know. You said earlier that someone told you, who was it?" he asked curiously, he didn't seem angry or mad, which was good.

"Um, you promise you won't be mad?" I asked, just double checking.

"I promise Bella I won't be mad." He said reassuringly.

"Ok. Um it was Jacob Black." I stated.

"Jacob Black." He said laughing. "Oh it figures it would be someone from the reservation. Although I am surprised that he knows, only the elders were meant to. I can only imagine what he told you. Bella what exactly did he tell you?" he asked calmly.

"Well he said there were a lot of rumours going around, he said some were pretty ridiculous." I said, hoping he wouldn't blame Jacob.

"Ok I can imagine, especially with their legends and that. I am surprised though that they didn't come up with some superstitious stuff about me being a vampire or something along those lines." He said jokingly.

"No I don't think that was one that was doing the rounds." I mused. "Although you're not are you?" I said teasingly, hoping to lighten to mood.

"No Bella I can safely say that I am not a vampire." He said still laughing. "Well last time I checked anyway."

It was good to see him laughing. I just hoped that he stayed in this good mood. I was actually nervous to tell him and how his reaction would be as well as what the truth actually was. I hoped he trusted me enough to tell me everything because I have told him my secrete and he could most definitely use that against me if he really wanted to.

"So what exactly did Jacob Black tell you?" He asked, his tone turning serious.

I took a deep breath, hoping that he wouldn't get angry.

"He just said that something happened with a girl from a tribe up in Denali and you, he didn't go into specifics he felt bad for telling me." I stated. I didn't want to look at him, fearing he would be angry, but I couldn't help it. I glanced at him and I could tell he was trying very hard not to get angry, his hands gripped the steering wheel tighter making his knuckles turn white.

It was quiet for a while. I didn't want to break the silence for fear that he might be angry. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, I was now doubting whether I should have said anything. If he didn't want me to know then I shouldn't have tried to find out.

"Is that all that Jacob Black told you?" He asked, his voice strained. He was clearly pretty angry and trying not to show it.

"Yes. That is all he told me but I kind of used the internet." I said sheepishly, looking out the window. I had to be honest with him, I at least owed him that after he saved me earlier.

"You googled me?" He asked with an amused smile on his face.

Of course I blushed a bright red, I was glad that we were in the car and it was dark enough that he couldn't see me.

"Oh that just sounds so wrong when you say it like that." I stated, trying not to laugh.

"Yeah sorry. I just find it interesting that you googled me. What did you find out?" He asked.

"I just found out that you were in a car accident and the girl died." I said.

He sighed and shook his head. "Yeah the Elders up there and my father did a good job of only getting the police to give out as little information as possible."

"I'm sorry Edward I can only imagine how bad it was, being in the accident and all."

"It was my fault I should feel bad." He said angrily. "Hell I should be the one that should have died not her." He added shaking his head.

"Don't say that Edward." I said angrily.

How could he wish that he had died? I closed my eyes and thought that I was a little bit hypocritical I wanted to die at one point after what happened to be so I guess it is only natural especially after something traumatic happens. Edward looked over to me, I couldn't understand the expression on his face. Then he shook his head.

"Bella you don't understand. I was not a great guy before it happened." He hissed angrily.

"I don't believe you Edward." I said reassuringly. "I'm sure you are a great guy, I mean you have saved me twice now, and a guy that does that is definitely a great guy. Not everyone would have put themselves in danger for another person."

"Oh but Bella you didn't know me before. I wasn't always a nice guy, hell I probably still am that guy. I'm not nice nowhere near it." He said angrily as he ran his hand through his messy bronze hair.

"Well tell me what you were like before then? Let me make up my own mind." I asked him.

He turned and raised an eyebrow at me, obviously thinking it through.

"Are you sure you want to know about my past, it might not be what you want to hear?" He asked.

"I'm sure I can handle it, you have already proven yourself twice to me, obviously what ever happened has changed you and for the better, if I might add." I said smiling at him. I hoped he trusted me enough to tell me.

"Oh well we will see about that." He muttered, I don't think he actually meant for me to hear that.

"Please Edward, let me make up my own mind." I pleaded.

He nodded his head. "Ok Bella. Do you mind if we pull over though, I don't know if I could concentrate on driving as well?"

"Sure no problem."

"You won't get in trouble for being out?" He asked concerned.

"See now that there proves that you're not a bad guy, no I should be fine. Charlie knows I was in Port Angeles."

"Oh that does not prove I am a good guy Bella." He said as he shook his head.

Edward concentrated on his driving for a few more minutes trying to find a good place that was safe enough to pull over. Once he did he turned off the engine and rested his head against the seat with his eyes closed. I decided to give him a few minutes to compose himself, this was obviously hard for him. When he was ready he turned and to face me.

"I wasn't always a nice guy Bella. I was unhappy and I took it out on everyone, my family included. When I took it out on them it was bad and I just kept making it worse. I was a horrible person to be around and my family actually was starting to resent me for my attitude and my erratic behaviour." He said and he ran his hand through his hair again.

"Why were you unhappy, couldn't you have spoken to your parents?" I asked confused, surely his parents would want to help him.

He sighed and looked at me. "I honestly don't know why I was so unhappy. I know I was angry, frustrated and it just kept getting worse. Maybe it was because we had moved so much and when I did make friends they were just ripped from me."

"Why did you move so much?" I enquired.

"My dad, he moves around a lot for work. He likes to work in smaller hospitals even though he could work in a large city hospital, he likes to work in the smaller ones but after a while we move. It has always been like that. I've lived in about six different towns over the country in my life so far. I mean when we were younger it didn't matter as much but now over the past few years it's just gotten to be rather frustrating. We are generally only stay in one spot for about 3 years or so and then move on. It was ok at first I was too young to really understand but as you get older you make friends and well before we moved in Alaska I really liked it where we were. I had two really great friends, I even had a girlfriend. I was happy there and well my parents knew this but that didn't stop them from making us move. It is ok for my brothers and sisters because they have each other but I didn't have anyone like that until I met Nikki." He turned and looked out the window.

"Oh Edward I'm sorry that must have been really hard for you." I said.

"Yeah it was. I really liked where we lived but of course my dad didn't really care, well he did but he couldn't get out of his contract he signed. He did try to but the hospital wasn't going to just let him go, he is a great doctor and they knew this so they held him to his contract and we had to move but of course that didn't stop me from taking it out on everyone." He turned to look at me. "Once we moved up there I changed Bella. It wasn't pretty at all, my brothers and sisters hated me, my parents could barely look at me and well I made friends with the wrong people."

"I'm sure that your family didn't hate you Edward." I said smiling at him. They couldn't really hate him. They were his family, you are meant to love your family no matter what, that is just how it works.

"Oh but you have no idea what I put them through. It wasn't me Bella, my behaviour I was acting out. I was mad, angry, frustrated, sad and really pissed off and I did everything and anything possible to let my family know this. What I did is unforgivable. I don't even forgive myself and what I did to Claire I can not take it back. I wish it was me that died and not her." He said as a tear slid town his cheek.

I reached over and wiped it with my thumb and he leaned into my touch. He opened his eyes at looked at me. He looked so vulnerable and his eyes looked so tormented. I felt sorry for him, no one deserves to go through that no matter what he thinks.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to? We can just head home if you want?" I asked. I felt bad for making him like this, it wasn't fair. He didn't have to tell me.

"No Bella, you deserve to know and be able to make up your own mind as to whether or not you want to be my friend. I will understand if you don't especially after what I have done in my past." He said sadly.

"Edward, you have already proven yourself to me, you saved me twice even when you didn't have to. The past is the past, we can only learn from it and move on. You can't dwell on what you can not change." I stated. Oh if only it were so easy. I haven't been able to move on from what happened to me and I don't think I ever will. Kind of a bit hypocritical of me to tell him that we I know that I'm dwelling on my past and what has happened to me. I was lost in thought for a moment before I heard Edward calling me.

"Bella, are you ok? Do you feel alright?" He asked. I just looked at him confused. "I was talking to you and you kind of zoned out there for a bit."

I didn't think it had been that long that I was thinking for.

"Um no I'm fine. Just thinking. Sorry. What were you saying?" I asked.

He looked at me concerned for a moment. Then he seemed happy that I was paying attention.

"I should have taken you to the hospital." He said shaking his head before continuing on. "Bella I wasn't always the person you see now. I was mean, cruel even, to the people around me. We only lived in Alaska for about 6 months before the accident happened. We had to move afterwards, it was just too painful for me and it was hard on Claire's family so we decided to move. For 6 months my life was a mess. I fell in with the wrong crowd. I started drinking, and I did drugs a few times. My parents noticed as with my brothers and sisters, that something was wrong. They tried to confront me but I would just blow them off, tell them they were over reacting, I would always bring Nikki into it and then they would shut up and leave me alone. I knew whenever I spoke about her they would back off. I don't know if they knew about the drugs and drinking before the accident but they definitely knew after."

He hit the steering wheel and then leaned down and rested his head against it.

"I was an idiot Bella, I have no excuse. My behaviour was out of control. I was fine one minute and then I would fly off the deep end for no reason. I withdrew from my family, I no longer went camping with them, I barely spoke to them. I was mean. They were paying for my misery and I didn't want them too but I couldn't stop it. I was happy before we moved to Alaska and I blamed my family for being happy, they had each other and I had no one. I don't know if things with Nikki and me would have worked but we were never given the chance. I took my frustrations out on everyone. They were happy and I was not so I wanted to destroy their happiness and make them feel what I was feeling. It was wrong on so many levels."

"Edward you were unhappy, there is no need to feel bad about that. You were being rebellious, most teenagers go through that stage at one point or another." I stated trying to comfort him.

"I bet you never acted like that?" He asked raising an eyebrow at me.

"Um not to that extreme but there were times when I was difficult, probably still are." I said smiling.

"Yes Bella but you don't bring everyone down with you, I did. I didn't think about the consequences of my actions or how it would affect everyone else around me. I only thought of the now and how it was helping me forget. I wanted to forget, I wanted to make everyone else suffer how I was and I sure as hell managed to do that." He replied angrily.

"You brothers and sisters seem like they forgive you, I see you around school with them, you talk all seem like you love each other." I stated, it was true I couldn't fault them, they looked like the perfect family.

"Yes I suppose we seem that way and we are but it took a long time for us to get back to what we use to have. I lost their trust and respect and I truly deserved to lose it. It took me a while to gain it back but I have and we are somewhat happy again but I can never forget how I treated them, what I have done and how it has affected everyone else." He said sadly.

"The drinking and the drugs don't seem that bad, I'm sure most teenagers try it at one time or another." I said.

"Yes I guess teenagers do try it at some point but it is what I became when I did those things is unacceptable. I didn't care about my actions. I used people to get what I wanted. I didn't want to have a girlfriend and I wanted to forget about Nikki. I used people not only to get drugs and alcohol but I used girls as well." He looked down ashamed.

"What do you mean you used girls?" I asked cautiously.

"I didn't force them or anything like that but I did have a few girls that I slept with. I wanted to forget Nikki and at the time I felt that it was the best way to forget her. I didn't have a serious girlfriend, but there were three girls that I did have, they knew that I didn't want anything serious and that there were others I was with besides them and they never minded. It was stupid and reckless and so irresponsible but I honestly at the time didn't care."

I was quiet I didn't know what to say to that. I mean I've heard of guys sleeping around but doing that with three girls at the same time.

"Bella are you ok? You're a bit quiet." He asked concerned. "You think I'm an idiot don't you?"

"I'm fine and no I don't think you're an idiot. I actually don't know what to think at the moment." I said honestly.

He just nodded his head. "Do you want me to tell you the rest or is that enough for you? I understand if it is too much and you're disgusted with me, I know I am."

"I'm not disgusted with you. I just, I don't know. It is a lot to take in but I want to know the rest." I said.

"Ok then. Well my behaviour sucked royally, I was drinking, doing drugs, sleeping around, being anti-social towards my family, my grades were slipping, I was skipping school, lying to my parents as well as to my brothers and sisters. I was the worst child and brother ever. However that wasn't the worst of it. The accident was." He paused and let out a sigh. "I don't know what to say. It was my fault even though at the time I didn't have any drugs or alcohol in my system but there was some in the car. That's how my parents found out, the police found them and told them. Once they found out it all seemed to click for them."

He ran his hand through his hair again and sighed. I felt that maybe this was too much for him but I wanted to know. I needed to know.

"The accident, what happened?" I asked cautiously.

"The police said it wasn't my fault but I could have prevented it. I should have prevented it. If I was paying proper attention I would have. Claire and I were arguing. She wanted to be exclusive, and make it official. She wanted to be my girlfriend but of course I didn't want that. I didn't want to be with someone when I knew that we would move again. It was inevitable, we always move eventually. I didn't want to deal with that again. I didn't want to be happy, I couldn't let myself be happy. I liked Claire, I really did but at the time I was just using her to get what I wanted. I didn't really love her or anything, it wasn't like with Nikki. I did care about her but not in a way that would develop into a relationship. Really I was just using her for the sex and I know it sounds bad, it is, but I didn't want to bring her down and being in an exclusive relationship with me would have done that."

"Why did you sleep with her then if you didn't want a relationship, did she know that?" I asked confused.

"Yes she knew but I guess she hoped that I would change my mind. I wasn't going to. Anyway, I was driving her back home to the reservation, we were arguing. I told her that I didn't want to see her again and that it was for the best. She disagreed of course and so we argued, we were yelling at each other and I wasn't paying attention. I hit some ice on the road and lost control of the car. I should have been paying attention, if I did then I could have prevented it or at the very least had more control over the car. It flipped when I moved the wheel too tight and too quick, we rolled down the side of the road, we stopped when the car it a tree. It hit on Claire's side and she died at the hospital. Her injuries were too severe. She died because of me. It was my fault." He said as tears rolled down his face. "Can't you see Bella I am not a good person you shouldn't be around me. I will just bring you down too. I am not good enough to deserve anyone, not even as friends. If we are friends and then I move it will just be harder, that's why I don't make friends, yes I do talk to my team mates on the baseball team but that's because I have to." He said somewhat yelling. He was pulling at his hair in what I could determine was frustration.

"It was an accident Edward. It could happen to anyone. It doesn't make you a bad person. It is not like you did it on purpose." I tried to soothe him. By the sounds of it, it wasn't his fault. "It was a very bad accident Edward. You couldn't have stopped it. You are just lucky that you didn't die too."

"I should have, it should have been me. I was a horrible person Bella, I didn't deserve to live, Claire did, she didn't do what I did. I should have paid with my life for what I did, not her." He yelled in frustration.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes. Edward was trying to gain control over his breathing.

"Sorry Bella, I didn't mean to yell at you." He said regretfully.

"That's ok really. I'm sorry for what happened Edward, no one deserves to go through that."

"I guess not but also you didn't deserve to go through what you did either." He said comfortingly.

"Yeah but I can't change that, anyway we are talking about you right now." I said trying to keep the subject on him. "Why did you move down here?"

"Well the Claire was from the reservation and they hated me, blamed me for what happened. I don't blame them, I too blame myself. My parents ultimately found out what I had been doing, the drugs, drinking, skipping school, sleeping around all of that. They were disappointed in me, I was too. We couldn't stay up there anymore not with the looks I was getting and my family were suffering because of my actions, the town turned on them too, blamed them for raising a bad child. I felt bad for them. Everyone thought that it was best that we move, make a new start. We actually talked about it, like really talked about it. My parents made me tell them and my brothers and sisters everything and I mean everything. We sat down for like 3 hours and just talked. It was good. They finally understood and we started to heal our family." He said smiling.

"It's good that you and your family talked. Talking is good it helps trust me. I didn't talk for a while and it was eating me up and I wasn't coping, I thought I was but I wasn't" I stated.

"I still believe I am a bad person for what I have done." He said as he looked at the clock. "Oh I better get driving, it's getting late and I don't want the police Chief to come after me with a gun for bringing his daughter home late." He said smiling.

He started the car and pulled back out onto the road. He seemed to relax a bit, I don't know if he noticed that he was so tense when he was talking.

"How is your hand?" He asked, probably to change the subject.

"Fine, why?" I asked confused.

"They are all scratched up." He stated.

"Oh yeah I fell."

"I figured as much, I was rather worried about you while I was gone. I was worried you would fall in the ocean or something and you wouldn't be there when I came back to school. I drove Emmett crazy on the camping trip. He was wondering why I was so ... I don't know distracted and agitated." He said smiling.

"You were worried about me?" I asked surprised.

"Yes I was. I've now saved you twice and being away from you makes me anxious. I don't know why but it does. I'm worried that something might have happened to you and I had no way to see if you were ok."

"I feel the same way. I was anxious too. I wondered why you weren't back in school and if something happened to you." I stated dropping my eyes and blushing.

He was quiet. I glanced up, apprehensive, and saw that his expression was somewhat pained.

"Ah," he groaned quietly. "Bella this is wrong."

I couldn't understand what he meant, I didn't get what was wrong.

"What is wrong, I don't understand." I said confused.

"Don't you see Bella? It's one thing for me to be the way I am, especially after everything I have done. You don't deserve to be pulled down with me. It is wrong. I shouldn't, you shouldn't be worried about me. Bella I am dangerous. It's not safe for you to be around me." He said seriously.

"No you're wrong, you have saved me twice now, you have even said that." I said firmly.

"I'm serious Bella, you shouldn't be friends with me." He almost growled. "We shouldn't get close because it will be harder when I have to move again."

"Well it's too late now." I whispered.

"Don't ever say that Bella." He said harshly.

I bit my lip and stared out at the road ahead. We were almost back to Forks. I wanted to get out. I didn't want to be in the car with him anymore, I didn't want him to see my break down.

" Bella, what are you thinking?" He asked.

I just shook my head. I couldn't talk now, it would show how upset I was. I could feel him looking at me, but I couldn't look at him so I just kept my eyes forward.

"Are you crying?" He sounded appalled.

I quickly rubbed my hands across my cheek to get rid of my tears. I just shook my head no.

"I'm sorry." His voice burned with regret.

"Do you not want to be friends with me because I am pregnant and people will talk?" I had to ask, I needed to know.

"What Bella no, of course not. It is because of me. I do want to be friends but I don't want to bring you down too." He said seriously.

"Do you care that I am pregnant? Do you think people will talk?" I demanded.

"Of course I care that you are pregnant." He said and I quickly whipped my head around to glare at him. "What Bella no, I didn't mean it like that. I care about you. I do. I don't know why or how but I do. You are pregnant yes, I hate that it happened to you the way that it did but just because you are pregnant doesn't mean that I don't want to be your friend. That is if you want me to be your friend? If you don't I understand."

"I do want to be your friend Edward." I said as I looked out the window.

"Ok then." Is all he said but he said it so dejectedly as if he was almost giving up.

We didn't speak for a while. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. The darkness outside kept slipping by us in the silence. After a while I seen the sign stating we were back in Forks.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I demanded.

"Yes of course – I have a paper due you know." He said smiling. "I'll save you a seat at lunch."

It was silly, after everything we'd been through tonight, how that little promise sent flutters through my stomach, and made me unable to speak. I shouldn't get my hopes up. We were just going to be friends, nothing more, it couldn't be any more than just friends.

We were in front of Charlie's house. The lights were on, my truck in its place, everything utterly normal. It was like I waking from a dream. He stopped the car, but I couldn't bring myself to move.

"Do you promise to be there tomorrow?"

"Yes I promise Bella." He said smiling.

I considered that for a moment, and then nodded, I took his word that he would be there. I pulled his jacket off, taking one last whiff of his cologne.

"You can keep it – you don't have a jacket to wear to school tomorrow." He reminded me.

I still handed it back to him. " I don't want to have to explain who gave me the jacket to Charlie, he knows I was out with the girls and well this definitely isn't a females jacket."

"Oh, yeah right." He grinned.

I hesitated, I didn't want to leave. Somewhere in my mind I was thinking that he might not come to school but he did promise.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he sighed, and I knew he wanted me to leave now.

"Tomorrow, then." I opened the door unwillingly.

"Bella?" I turned and he was leaning toward me, his pale, glorious face just inches from mine. My heart stopped beating.

"Sleep well," he said. His breath blew in my face, stunning me. It was the same exquisite scent that clung to his jacket, but in a more concentrated form. I blinked, thoroughly dazed. He leaned away.

I was unable to move until my brain had somewhat unscrambled itself. Then I stepped out of the car awkwardly, having to use the frame for support. I thought I heard him chuckle, but the sound was too quiet for me to be certain. He waited till I had stumbled to the front door, and then I heard his engine quietly rev. I turned to watch the silver car disappear around the corner. I realized it was very cold. I reached for the key mechanically, unlocked the door, and stepped inside.

Charlie called from the living room. "Bella?"

"Yeah, Dad, it's me." I walked in to see him. He was watching a baseball game.

"You're home a little late." He said firmly.

"Am I?" I wasn't surprised, Edward and I did pull over for a while to talk. I was hoping that he didn't realise how late it was.

"It's nine thirty on a school night," he informed me as if I didn't know. "Anyway did you girls have fun?"

"Yeah — it was lots of fun." My head was spinning as I tried to remember all the way back to the girls' night out I had planned. "They both found great dresses."

"Are you all right?" He asked concerned.

"I'm just tired. I did a lot of walking." It was true I did do a fair bit of walking so I wasn't really lying.

"Well, maybe you should go lie down, you need to take it easy you know." He sounded concerned. I wondered what my face looked like.

"I'm just going to call Jessica first."

"Weren't you just with her?" he asked, surprised.

"Yes — but I left my jacket in her car. I want to make sure she brings it tomorrow."

"Well, give her a chance to get home first."

"Right," I agreed.

I went to the kitchen and fell, exhausted, into a chair. I was really feeling dizzy now. I wondered if I was going to go into shock after all. Get a grip, I told myself. The phone rang suddenly, startling me. I yanked it off the hook.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Jess, I was just going to call you."

"You made it home?" Her voice was relieved… and surprised.

"Yes. I left my jacket in your car — could you bring it to me tomorrow?"

"Sure. But first you have to tell me what happened!" she demanded.

"Um, tomorrow — in Trig, okay?"

She caught on quickly. "Oh, is your dad there?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Oh bummer, okay, I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow, then. Bye!" I could hear the impatience in her voice.

"Bye, Jess."

I walked up the stairs slowly, a heavy stupor clouding my mind. I went through the motions of getting ready for bed without paying any attention to what I was doing. It wasn't until I was in the shower — the water too hot, burning my skin — that I realized I was freezing. I shuddered violently for several minutes before the steaming spray could finally relax my rigid muscles. Then I stood in the shower, too tired to move, until the hot water began to run out.

I stumbled out, wrapping myself securely in a towel, trying to hold the heat from the water in so the aching shivers wouldn't return. I dressed for bed swiftly and climbed under my quilt, curling into a ball, hugging myself to keep warm. A few small shudders trembled through me.

My mind still swirled dizzily, full of images I couldn't understand, and some I fought to repress. Nothing seemed clear at first, but as I fell gradually closer to unconsciousness, a few certainties became evident.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward wasn't dangerous as he thought he was. Second, there was part of him —that thought that we shouldn't be friends because he thought he was dangerous and honestly I think he is scared to make friends. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.


	20. Chapter 19: What are we?

**A/N I know it's been a while, sorry. Life gets in the way sometimes. **

**So here is the new chapter, let me know what you think!**

**Thanks to my two amazing reviewers, you guys rock! Love your comments and feedback!**

**I am hoping to update on the Weekend so hopefully you will get two updates this week - keep your fingers crossed.**

**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 19:<strong> What are we?

All I remember is James, he was in my nightmare and it felt so real and then Charlie running through my door. I didn't know why Charlie was in my nightmare. My mind was spinning out of control, I couldn't focus. I saw Charlie's lips moving but I couldn't hear anything. I tried to focus but all I could hear was nothing. I was having trouble breathing and the room was moving. Then as quickly as Charlie entered my room he left. Normally when I have a nightmare about what happened Charlie is never in it and I never have dreamed of my room in Forks. I couldn't make sense of it, was I still asleep or was I awake. All of a sudden Charlie came bursting back into my room, he looked panicked, he had the phone to his ear. Who was he calling? I forced myself to focus.

"Dr Cullen, she isn't responding to me talking to her... not even here ... her screaming ... she is having trouble breathing." I could only partly make out what he was saying into the phone.

Dr Cullen, why was he talking to Dr Cullen? Was I not asleep anymore? My chest felt heavy and I starting to feel dizzy. Charlie must have gotten off the phone because he came to kneel beside my bed. One of his hands found mine while his other hand went to my face and turned it to him. He was speaking again, he looked so panicked.

"Bella, Bella honey calm down." He soothed.

Why was he telling me to calm down? He started to rub my hand. I wanted to calm down but I just couldn't. He kept talking to me but I just couldn't focus on what he was saying. It was barely light outside. I didn't even know what the time was. I don't know how much time passed before Charlie got up, I didn't know why he got up. He looked sad, was he sad because of me?

It wasn't long before he came back into the room but he wasn't alone, Dr Cullen was with him. Why was he here? He came in and sat on the bed. He started talking but it was just going over my head. I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly trying to clear my head. I opened my eyes and Dr Cullen looked concerned.

"Bella take a few deep breaths, calm down. You're having a panic attack. You need to slow your breathing down." He said calmly.

"What ... why, why are you here?" I asked confused, my breathing slowly starting to get back to normal.

"Your father called me over. He was worried about you and you weren't responding to him." He admitted, a sad smile forming on his face.

"Oh. Sorry Dad." I said looking over at Charlie. "I didn't mean to scare you. I ... I don't ..." I didn't know what to say.

"Bella it's ok, I was just worried." Charlie interrupted, he was trying to smile but I knew it was somewhat forced.

"Bella." Dr Cullen said gaining my attention. "Charlie said that he heard you where screaming and crying and when he came in you didn't acknowledge that he was here." Dr Cullen stated.

"Yeah I um was having a bad dream." I stated.

"Do you have them often Bella?" Dr Cullen asked concerned.

"Sometimes." I responded.

Dr Cullen nodded his head. "You're still seeing Dr Stewart?" He asked.

I nodded. "I have an appointment on Thursday." I replied.

"Good. Ok well what you had Bella was a severe panic attack. Do you experience those often?" he asked concerned.

"Um sometimes but not that bad though." I replied as I looked at my hands. I didn't want Charlie to worry, that's why I've never mentioned it to him before.

"Bells why didn't you tell me?" Charlie asked.

"I didn't want you to worry about me, I'm fine." I stated.

"Bella you're my daughter of course I am going to worry about you, I'm going to worry more if you can't tell me when something is wrong." He said sadly. "I hear you Bella, of a night, you wake up screaming. You might not notice you do but I hear you. I'm just worried about you."

I was angry. I was sick of Charlie looking at me and being worried about me, it just made me so angry. It was like a switch being flicked over and I just needed to get it out. Maybe I was just over thinking everything and what nearly happened last night didn't help matters.

"I'm fine." I screamed, "Why won't anyone believe me. I know I was raped. There is no way I am every going to get over that, so you might as well stop trying to delude yourselves into thinking that I will or that I will ever be the same girl again. I'm over everyone watching me waiting for me to freak out. Well guess what I freak out all the time, the stupidest things set me off and I have nightmares every night. Is that what you wanna hear, that I am far from fine. I'm trying to deal with this in my own way. I hope you're happy now." I screamed as tears ran down my face. I needed to get out of there, Dr Cullen and Charlie looked like they didn't know what to do, So I quickly grabbed my clothes from the back of my chair and ran to the bathroom.

I sat on the toilet and cried. I felt bad about yelling at Charlie and especially when Dr Cullen was there, but I had had enough of the looks Charlie gave me and I just finally snapped. I quickly got up off the toilet and knelt in front of it emptying the contents of my stomach. I sat there with my head resting on the side of the bathtub, I was just so drained. I finally dragged myself up off the tiles and started the shower. I stayed in the shower until the water ran cold, I figured that I could afford to spend extra time in the shower seen as how it was so early. I quickly got dressed and did my hair, not really focusing on what I was doing, I didn't really want to go down stairs as I know that Charlie probably was still here.

I decided to go and get it over with, he was probably mad with me for going off like I did. I sighed and took a deep breath before walking into the kitchen. Charlie was there making breakfast, weird. He must have known that I was there because he turned around and smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. Ok now I felt bad, I shouldn't have taken it out on him, I knew it was coming I needed to let off steam and unfortunately Charlie and Dr Cullen had to witness it.

"Bella I'm making Bacon, Eggs and toast for breakfast sit down and I'll bring you a plate." Charlie said as he continued to get breakfast ready.

"Ok thanks." I said quietly. I didn't know what else to say, I had been so mean earlier. What I said to Charlie was uncalled for and I felt extremely bad that I had said it. We started eating in silence, it was not our normal happy silence but it was awkward and unpleasant.

"Bella about before, I'm um ... sorry" Charlie said sadly.

"Dad you have nothing to be sorry about, I didn't mean to say those things I just ... I'm sorry. I feel bad that I went off like that in front of Dr Cullen." I didn't know what else to say.

"Bella don't apologise, you have nothing to apologise for. Dr Cullen was fine as well Bella don't worry. You know, I'm glad I finally got to hear about how you feel. I just don't know what to do Bella. Don't get mad or anything but are you still going to your appointment on Thursday?" He asked carefully.

"Yeah I am. I guess I'm not really handling it well after all." I said. I thought I wasn't letting anyone know how much I was hurting but obviously I was wrong.

"Well ok then. If you ever want to talk I'm here for you, ok."

"Thanks Dad. I should get going to school now." I stated quickly, I didn't feel like talking anymore about this.

"Are you right to drive yourself?" He asked concerned.

"Yes, I'll be fine." I stated.

I quickly gathered my bag and looked for my jacket, I couldn't find it. Then it hit me, Jessica had it because I had left it in her car. I made my way quickly out to my car before Charlie decided that I should catch a ride with him. The drive to school was quick and uneventful, I pulled into a parking space close to the school buildings, before I had a chance to get out of my truck a silver Volvo pulled into the space next to me.

I grabbed my bag from the passenger seat and turned to open the door but before I had the chance the door was opened for me. I got out of my truck and Edward Cullen was standing there with his hand on the door handle smiling at me.

"Hi." I said lamely. "Thanks." I wasn't use to someone opening my door for me.

"Hello. Are you alright Bella? My Dad said that he was going to your house this morning, he took his medical bag with him." He said concerned, before quickly adding "He didn't say why or anything I Just want to make sure you're ok."

"Oh um yeah I'm fine." I said hesitantly.

"That's good." He said as he closed my truck door, dropping the subject.

We both started to head towards the buildings, I was quickly scanning the crowd of students trying to find Jessica who had my jacket. It was starting to get a little chilly and I would need it. I soon found Jessica she was standing under the cafeteria roof's overhang waiting, I could see my jacket in her hand so I made my way over to her.

"Hey Jessica," I said when we were within hearing range. "Thank you for remembering my jacket, it looks like I might need it today." She quickly handed me my jacket without speaking, she seemed a little stunned and I had no idea why.

"Good morning, Jessica," Edward said politely.

"Um ... yeah ... hi." She stuttered. Her eyes kept shifting from me to Edward, probably trying to figure out what our relationship is. She probably had her suspicions since I was with Edward last night, although she has probably jumped to the wrong conclusions in terms of our non-relationship. She must have finally gathered her thoughts because she added with a smile "I'll see you in Trig Bella."

Great I knew that she would want information on what happened between Edward and I last night, she wanted me to give the hot gossip over the phone last night – which so was no going to happen. I also do not know what I'm going to say to her, I'm not one to really talk or gossip – especially about myself - it really isn't anyone's business what happens or doesn't happen between Edward and me.

"Yeah you will." I said quietly.

She walked away but paused a few times to look at us, she was trying to do it discreetly but was failing miserably. I turned to face Edward and he was smiling at me and trying not to laugh.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh she definitely wants information from you, especially since we rocked up together at the restaurant." He said between his laughter.

"Oh yeah you find this funny?" I asked sternly as I could but I was failing miserably.

"Oh most definitely. So what do you think you're going to tell her?" He asked a little more seriously.

I groaned as I quickly put my jacket on, I had no idea what I was going to tell her. I decided to ask Edward what he thinks I should tell her.

"What should I tell her?" I threw the question back to him.

He shook his head, grinning wickedly. "That's not fair, I asked you first."

"Well I honestly have never really talked about guys before with a girlfriend." I said honestly.

Edward looked a little stunned at first before smiling at me. "I suppose that's a good thing then. I guess there are two ways you can go with this." He said as the paused to catch a stray lock of hair that was escaping the twist on my neck and wound it back into place. I didn't even flinch away from his touch which was unusual. "You could deny that we like each other and say that we are only friends or you could say that we are dating secretly."

A few students were starting to stare at us and I realised we were still outside the cafeteria. We both noticed and Edward took my hand and started to walk towards my first class. I didn't know what to say to that. Did Edward want us to date? He couldn't could he, I mean I'm pregnant. I was completely confused.

"Um wow ok." I said surprised. "What do you think I should say?" I wanted to know what he thought, I didn't want to assume anything.

"Well if you go with the whole deny aspect, she will know something is up. We rocked up to the restaurant together, so she might think that something is actually going on. Trying to deny it might make her suspicious. Also my brothers and sisters already know how we both look at each other and I can tell you it isn't in a friendly way." He said smiling at me while he squeezed my hand. "My guess would be go with secretly dating but that is only if you want to that is, I don't want to just assume anything or force you into anything like that especially if you don't want to. Um do you want to?" He said rambling and looking down shyly.

Wow Edward Cullen wanted to go out with me. I didn't know what to think. After finding out that I am pregnant he still wants to. I just ... WOW!

"Um Edward you know about my situation, I just." I said sadly looking down. Edward put his hand under my chin and he raised my head so that I was looking into his face.

"Bella, you have told me, I know." He said warmly, looking me straight in the eye, he looked so sincere "I really like you Bella, more than just a friend. I want to get to know you and be there for you. I know ok, I'm not running away. I could have already and I haven't doesn't that give you your answer?" He asked.

"Yeah I guess but that could change Edward." I said sadly. Just then the bell rang signalling the beginning of class. A student pushed past me to get into the classroom, almost knocking me over. Edward caught my arm to stop me from falling. He then turned to the student, I think his name was Robert, he looked so angry.

"You want to watch out." Edward yelled at the other student, "You almost knocked Bella over, be careful next time Rob."

"Oh hey Edward, um yeah sorry Bella." He said to me, he did look somewhat sorry and scared at the same time. "Hey Edward coach caught me in the hall earlier, wants to met up after school for some meeting or some shit we need to let the team know."

"Yeah no problem I'll get the message passed around. Thanks Rob." Edward said.

"Bella we should get to class, we can talk about this later at lunch. But I do like you and I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to, I hope you believe me but it is up to you what you tell Jessica. " He said as he rubbed my hand soothingly.

"Ok." I said lamely and Edward held the door open for me. I hurried in to take my usual seat, I was a little late but I wasn't the last one into the classroom for which I was thankful. I placed my bag on the table and starting taking out my books for this class.

"Morning, Bella," Mike said from beside me, yeah I know I sit next to Mike Newtown but he is nice enough. I looked up to see an odd, almost resigned look on his face. "How was Port Angeles with the girls?"

"It was great." I said honestly "Jessica got a really cute dress, you're going to love it."

"Oh that's great. Did she say anything about Monday night?" He asked. I was thankful he was focusing on Jessica.

"Yeah she did. She had a great time, couldn't stop talking about it." I said truthfully. She honestly couldn't stop talking about it on the trip up to Port Angeles.

"Oh really did she?" He said eagerly.

"Yes definitely."

The teacher called the class to order before Mike could ask me anymore questions, the teacher was asking for our papers.

English and then Government passed in a blur, I was somewhat worried about how to tell Jessica and what to actually tell her. I didn't really feel comfortable talking about this with anyone. I wondered what Edward expected me to say to her, I know how he felt about the subject of us dating but what did that mean exactly? Did he mean that we were just dating casually or were we labelling it as boyfriend/girlfriend? I had never had a boyfriend before and I didn't know if he wanted that, no guy should want that with me, it isn't fair.

When I walked into Trig Jessica was sitting in the back row, almost bouncing out of her chair. Great she really wanted some gossip about Edward and I no doubt to spread around the school. I definitely wasn't looking forward to this but I reluctantly went to sit by her, all the while trying to convince myself to just get it over with now in hopes that she might drop it if she got something at least.

"Oh my god Bella, Edward Cullen you so need to tell me everything now!" She demanded before I had even had a chance to take my seat.

"Ok um what exactly do you want to know?" I asked, I really wasn't sure what would be enough to satisfy her.

"So what happened last night Bella?"

"Edward took me to dinner, and he drove me home once we finished." I stated, maybe if I give her just a little she might find it enough.

She just glared at me, ok so I guess I didn't give her what she wanted. "Did he know that you would be there? Did you tell him to meet you? Was it like a date and you used us as an excuse with your Dad?" She asked quickly.

"No he didn't know I was going to be there, it was unexpected. It wasn't a date. We both needed to eat and so we did." I Stated.

She looked somewhat sceptical and disappointed at the same time. What did she want to get out of this really?

"So are you going out again?" She asked excitedly.

"Um I don't know, he offered to drive me to Seattle Saturday, he needed to go to and well he overheard me saying I was going to go – does that count?" I asked.

"Oh my god, Yes Bella is so does, he asked you right, so it definitely counts!" She whisper yelled. "So what did you talk about this morning you guys seemed I don't know intense?" She asked.

"Oh um, nothing too interesting, boring stuff really." Please drop it I thought, I don't want to say we started to talk about our relationship.

"Wow Edward never talks to anyone especially girls. You are like so lucky Bella." She said slightly envious. "Edward Cullen, arrgh."

"I know." I agreed.

"Wait!" her hands flew up, palms towards me as if she was stopping traffic. "Has he kissed you or anything yet?"

"No," I mumbled. "It's not like that."

She looked disappointed, some part of me was too but I know I wasn't ready for that, at least not yet anyway.

"So do you think Saturday something might happen?" She asked raising her eyebrows.

"I highly doubt it."

"So you were with him for a while, you guys must have talked. What did you talk about?" She whispered digging for more information. The teacher wasn't really paying too much attention so I decided to tell her as little as I could.

"I don't know lots of stuff," I whispered back. "We talked about the English essay a little."

"Ok Bella that is so not what I was after. Boring, next." She said. "Details Bella, you can so do better than that."

"Um ok well the waitress was flirting with him – a lot and it was so over the top. But he didn't pay attention to her at all. I swear she even gave him her number but I don't know." I said.

"Wow really that's a good sign," She nodded. "So was she pretty?"

"Very and she was probably older too."

"That is like even better, he really must like you, especially if he didn't flirt back. You are so lucky, Edward Cullen."

"I think so, but I don't know. He shouldn't like me and I ..."

"Wow Bella, if you don't want him I will. But I don't know if I would be brave enough to be alone with him, he is just so beautiful." She breathed.

"Why aren't you brave enough to be alone with him?" I asked confused, I never felt scare or anything around him, what could she possibly mean.

"He's just so ... I don't know intimidating. I so wouldn't know what to say to him." She admitted.

"I do have some trouble with incoherency when I'm around him," I admitted.

"So Bella do you like him?" She asked, trying to sound innocent about it but she was fishing.

"Yes"

"No Bella, I mean do you like him like him?" She urged.

"Yes" I said blushing a bright red.

"Ok really Bella," Oh so she was over the one word answers, "How much do you actually like him?" She prodded.

"Too much I think." I whispered. "More than he likes me I think." I sighed.

Thankfully our chat was cut off as Mr Schofield asked Jessica a question. She didn't get a chance to talk to me again during class, for which I was thankful. As soon as class was over and before she could ask any more of her questions I decided to talk to her about Mike.

"So guess what?" I asked.

"Um what?" She said confused.

"Mike spoke to me about you in class earlier." I told her.

"Oh really. Bella what did he say?" She asked.

"Oh he asked about Monday night."

"What did he ask about?"

"If you had a good time and of course I said you did." I said.

We walked to our next class discussing this and the all through the next class. I was glad for the subject change. At least she was focused on herself and I could pretend to act interested.

Once the bell rang signalling lunch, I quickly gathered my books and put them in my bag. Jessica obviously noticed my eagerness and smiled.

"So I guess you're not going to be sitting with us today, huh." She guessed.

"I don't know, I don't think so." I said unsure. He said we would talk more at lunch so I assume that would mean that we would sit together.

Outside the door my answer was waiting, leaning against the wall, Edward was waiting for me. Jessica looked and rolled her eyes before departing. She I think was a little jealous.

"I guess I'll see you later on Bella." Jessica said over her shoulder.

"Hey you ready for lunch?" He asked.

"Hey, yeah." I replied quickly.

He didn't say anything else but took my hand and walked towards the cafeteria.


	21. Chapter 20: Official

**A/N. Ok so you are lucky, I'm posting a new chapter! I know I said the weekend but I have too much on, working and a Baby shower to go to for my future nephew! So decided to finish this chapter today!**

**Thanks to my two amazing reviewers! I know a lot of people have added me to their favourite story list and alerts list, you guys can go on and do one better and post a review too!**

**Anyway I hope you like!  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 20:<strong> Official.

We walked into the cafeteria with Edward holding my hand, of course when we entered almost everyone stopped and stared at us. This is what I didn't want, people staring. I knew it was going to happen – well for two reasons, one I was holding hands with Edward Cullen who never talks to anyone besides his family and players on the baseball team and well the second reasons was totally me but I knew I had a while before I was going to show and I could hid it for a while. I was slowing trying to come to terms with what was going to happen and I knew people would talk, stare, point and gossip behind my back.

Edward led me to the line, we didn't speak – we didn't need to, he kept glancing at me from the corner of his eye. He probably thought I didn't notice, he seemed to be both irritated and amused at the same time, I couldn't figure out why. I played nervously with my zipper on my jacket. I wanted to ask him what was wrong but there were other students too close and I figured he wouldn't want to talk until we were seated.

He stepped up to the counter and started to pile food onto a tray.

"Hungry much?" I said amused. He turned to look at me and smiled.

"I don't know what you would like so I'm getting some of everything." He stated, shaking his head. "Some is for me of course unless you want me to starve."

"Ha ha Edward. You didn't need to get some of everything though, I would have been fine with whatever you would have chosen."

"Yeah well I just wanted to make sure you would eat something at least." He said as he stepped forward to buy the food.

He carried the tray with one hand while holding mine in the other. He led me to the table that we had sat in before, all the while other students watching us with shocked looks on their faces. I sat down and Edward took a seat across from me. He pushed the tray towards me.

"Take whatever you want" He said.

"You should take what you want first after all you did buy it." I said, he did buy it so he should get to pick what he wants to eat first.

"I'm fine with whatever. Please Bella take something." He pleaded.

I decided we were going to get nowhere if this kept up so I took a slice of pizza. He seemed happy that I did and he also picked out something. We ate in silence for a while, I didn't know how to start the conversation, I wanted to talk about what happened this morning before class but I just didn't know how. As if sensing my want to discuss it Edward started talking.

"So what did you end up telling Jessica in class?" He asked.

"Well I told her how the waitress flirted with you." I said dodging the subject he so wanted me to start to talk about.

"Really." He said as his eyebrows shot up. "I didn't really notice." He stated.

"Well she was trying extremely hard that it was almost painful to watch."

"Well I can safely say my attention was on someone more important at the time. So what else did you tell Jessica?" he pushed.

"She asked if we organised to meet up last night and I said no, which is true we didn't. She asked if I liked you and I said yes." I said looking at my pizza.

Edward didn't say anything so I looked up. He seemed somewhat disappointed but I didn't know why.

"Bella, I know I talked this morning but I didn't really let you tell me what you wanted." He said sadly. "I know you might not like me as much as I like you and if you want me to back off or just be friends I will do that. I care about you, I understand if you don't believe me or anything."

"I do like you Edward, probably more than I should. It isn't fair to you. I just don't want to start something and then have you find it's too much and leave me. It's just that I've already been through so much and then if we start something and you then decide you don't want to I just ... I don't think I could handle that." I said sadly.

"Bella I know ok, you have told me. I am not running and that should count for something. Most guys my age would run a mile and even more so if it was theirs. I know it won't be easy and I have never been in this situation before but I just can not walk away from you, I have already tried and it hurt too much." He said reassuringly.

"But Edward it's not fair on you. What about when I start" I looked around making sure no one was listening and then whispered, "what about when I start showing? People will talk and will assume it is yours. What will happen then?" I asked.

"Well then let them think what they want, it is none of their business anyway. I don't care if people assume that it is mine." He said as he squeezed my hand that was resting on the table.

"You should worry about that. Edward what will your family think?" I asked. "They probably wouldn't want you to have a relationship with me and your Dad knows about my situation."

"Well we will deal with that went we have to." He stated.

"Edward, that seriously isn't an answer" I whisper yelled at him.

"Bella I honestly don't know. My parents know that I am friends with you, my stupid sister opened her big mouth and told them." He said as he turned and glared at his sister, Alice, she just smiled back at him and waved as if her brother wasn't giving her the worlds most intense death stare. "My brothers and sisters know that I like you, Alice declared that I loved you to them in the car the other day. They don't know about your situation and that is up to you if and when you tell them, but I guess then will no doubt find out eventually."

I just nodded. I didn't know how I felt about that. I mean Edward shouldn't like me and his parents were going to hit the roof when they found out about us, well I don't know if there is an "us" but, god this is confusing.

"Edward what will your parents say if we do take this further?" I asked unsure.

"Honestly, I don't know. My Dad obviously knows about your situation, he wouldn't have said anything to anyone about it so my mother doesn't know and she will only find out when we say something to her. I guess we would find out when we say something to them." He said reassuringly. "Bella please don't worry too much about what might or might not happen. Please don't let that affect your decision about us. Bella I want there to be an us. Please let us try and see what happens."

"I don't know Edward." I said unsure.

"Answer me this Bella." He said as he looked me in the eye. "Do you like me?" He asked.

"Yes I do, too much." I replied honestly.

"Please don't say that, I like you too Bella and I'm not scared or ashamed to say it." He said as he rubbed the back of my hand. "Do you want to take this further than friendship, I'm not forcing you into anything here Bella we can go as slow as you want?" He asked.

"I do want more than friendship Edward but I don't think it is fair on you. What will people say when they find out. I just don't want you to be brought down with me too." I said sadly.

"Bella don't you think that it is a decision for me to make. I want to be more than friends Bella, I say let people think what they want, they aren't us. We know what is true that's all that should matter. We can deal with the rest when and if it happens."

"But what about your family Edward?" I asked again, he really must not grasp the whole reality of situation. I put down my pizza and grabbed the bottle of lemonade that Edward had purchased. Taking the lid off and taking a sip, Edward copied me, taking a sip out of the bottle of water.

"I don't care what they think." Edward said angrily.

"Edward they are your family." I stated.

"Yes and they never cared before about me, always moving without asking me, not caring about my thoughts or feelings. For once I don't care what they think. I what to be your boyfriend Bella and I don't care what they say or think. Why should I?" Edward rambled.

"They are your family Edward and they do care about you. Even though you might think they do."

"Yeah well they have a funny way of showing it now don't they." He said angrily. "Sorry Bella I shouldn't be taking it out on you."

"That's ok." I said.

"No it's not Bella. Look I don't know what they will say but I know I can't turn off my feelings for you. There is no magic switch I can flick to just not like you anymore and even if I could I don't think I would. I have never felt this way before, I just feel connected to you, I want to be there for you, I feel protective of you. That is something that I can forget about." He said.

"Yes well you protecting me seems to becoming a full time job, that I might just keep you around for." I said playfully.

"Yeah please don't remind me. Last night I don't know what would have happened to you if I didn't find you." He said. "I had nightmares about it all night."

"Yes well no one has tried to do me off today now have they?" I said trying to lighten the mood. I really didn't want to talk about what happened last night.

"Yes well not yet but I might need to stick around to make sure. I don't want to let anything happen to you." I rolled my eyes at him and he just smiled back at me.

"So you still right to go to Seattle this Saturday?" he asked changing the subject.

"Yes I still want to go." I replied. "Do you still want to take me or do you have plans?"

"Oh I still want to go. I can't let you go alone god only knows what trouble would find you, especially in big bad Seattle" He said somewhat seriously.

"Hey I resent that!" I said pouting. I leaned back on my chair and folded my arms.

"Oh Bella I was joking. What time do you want me to pick you up?" he asked.

I tried to stay mad at him but I couldn't. He was using that damn perfect smile at me and I couldn't resist it.

"Um how about 8.30, or is that too early for you?"

"You don't what to sleep in?"

"No I probably wouldn't be able to even if I tried." I stated. "If you want to go later we can."

"No I can be at your place at 8.30. I just figured that you would want to sleep in that's all."

Just then the bell rang to indicate the end of lunch. I got up quickly, a little too quickly, and had to grab a hold of the table to stop from falling over. I closed my eyes in the hopes that I would be fine in a few seconds. Edward was right beside me when I opened my eyes, he looked so concerned.

"You ok?" He asked concern lacing his voice. "Do you need me to take you to the nurse or call my Dad?"

"I'm fine, really. I just stood up too quickly that's all. Happens a lot these days, just keep forgetting to get up slowly." I said reassuringly.

"Ok if you're sure." He said, sounding not too convinced.

I looked up and seen that his brothers and sisters had seen the whole thing. They all looked concerned, well with the exception of Rosalie, she looked rather bored. Edward noticed where I was looking and nodded his head indicating that everything was fine and they started to head towards their respective classes.

Edward took my bag as well as his and of course our tray and dumped the rubbish in the trash before taking my hand and leading us towards our next class. Of course everyone was still staring at us, we had been seen together all day you think that they would have been over it by now but obviously the town was so small that the novelty hadn't worn off yet. They all watched us as we walked towards our lab table. Edward pulled out my seat for me and placed my bag on the table in front of me. I thanked him and took out my books.

Mr Angel backed into the room then pulling a tall metal frame on wheels that held a heavy-looking, outdated TV and VCR. A movie day, lucky us, however the class was rather happy about it. They could get away with doing nothing and I highly assume that they probably wouldn't watch the TV. Mr Angel quickly set the TV up and turned off the lights.

I was sitting in my chair my hands resting on my thighs. I didn't notice how close Edward's chair was until I glanced at him. He was sitting closer than he normally did, I was surprised but not uncomfortable. Edward took my hand in his and gave it a squeeze and I smiled at him. I wasn't paying as much attention to the TV as I should have been but I noticed that Edward wasn't either. He kept glancing at me from the corner of his eye, which was rather cute, it was like he was worried that I would disappear even though he had my hand in his.

The hour seemed to drag on and I honestly couldn't tell you what we were watching, it was just too hard to concentrate on. Mr Angel flicked the lights back on and unplugged the TV, signalling that it was the end of class. I started to stretch I was stiff from sitting in the same position for the whole hour, I didn't want to move in case it made Edward remove his had from mine.

"Well that was interesting. Don't you think?" He chuckled beside me.

"Yeah you could say that." I replied smiling back at him.

"Shall we?" He asked, as he rose from his seat and quickly ducking down to pick up my bag from the floor before grabbing my hand and leading me towards the door.

I realised what class I had now, Gym. I think it was time that I got Charlie to write me a note or got a Doctors Certificate excusing me, I'm sure Dr Cullen would write me one, I mean no one could expect me to keep participating in Gym in my condition.

Edward walked me too my class in silence and paused at the door. I turned to say goodbye but stopped, he looked distracted, like he was thinking hard about something. He moved closer to me and I saw the conflict in his eyes, he was hesitating but why and for what I had no idea. Then he kissed me on my cheek, squeezed my hand and then walked off quickly without a word. I was confused for a second, trying to process what happened. He kissed my cheek, I raised my hand to my cheek. It didn't make me uncomfortable when he did that, even though I thought it might. Don't get me wrong I had thought about kissing Edward but I just, well I just thought that it wouldn't be possible and that I would freak out but I surprised even myself. Ok so technically I didn't kiss him and it wasn't on the lips but still it was a kiss.

I finally walked into the gym, lightheaded and wobbly, still trying to come to terms to what just happened. I went into the locker room changing in a trancelike state, only vaguely aware that there were other people surrounding me. Reality didn't fully set in until after I was handed a racket. It wasn't heavy, yet it felt very unsafe in my hands. I could see the other students eyeing me off, whether they had see what had happened between Edward and I or if it was due to my poor ability at sports I don't know. Of course Coach Jackson ordered us to pair up into teams.

I knew that no one would want to be paired with me, however I was pleasantly surprised that Mike did.

"You wanna be a team?" He asked.

"You know you don't have to team with me, you know I'm no good at sport."

"Don't worry I'll make sure to stay outta the way when your racket starts swinging." He said playfully.

Gym pass rather slowly, as always. I did manage to hit Mike a few times, as well as myself – how I managed to hit myself I do not know. I did try to stay out of the way for the most part but of course the opposing team knew to aim at me. Mike managed to make us win three out of the five games, mind you he did it basically singlehandedly – which was very impressive.

"So," He said as we were walking towards the locker room.

"So what Mike?"

"You and Cullen an item now then?" He stated more than asked. Seriously is that all these idiotic students care about.

"Really Mike, that is none of your business." I warned, internally cursing Jessica, I knew she would tell people but I really didn't think anyone would say anything to me about it.

"Yeah well I don't like it. You're the first girl he has taken an interest in and it doesn't seem right. I don't like it" He muttered.

"Yeah well you don't have to like it now do you?" I snapped back. He probably was just put out that I didn't take a liking to him.

I was really annoyed, annoyed at Jessica for opening her mouth and telling people and for Mike for actually making that stupid comment. What does it matter to anyone else who I like? It is not like I can help it. I made my way quickly to the lockers to change. I wondered if I would see Edward before I left school today, I know that he had a meeting with the baseball team once school finished. I highly doubt that I would, and that actually made me a little sad.

I walked out of the locker room and headed for the exit. As soon as I walked out I seen Edward, he was leaning against the wall of the gym waiting. I walked up to him and he raised his head and smiled at me.

"Hi" I said, smiling back at him.

"Hey." He replied. "How was gym?" He asked.

"Yeah it was fine. It's gym, not my favourite subject."

"Maybe you should get a certificate from my Dad to miss it? You probably should be careful, I don't want anything to happen to you." He said as he took hold of my hand.

"Yeah I was thinking that earlier. It wasn't too bad today." I said reassuringly.

"Ok then. Well I've got to head to this meeting but I'll walk you to your truck."

"You don't have to do that." I said but he just shook his head and walked me to my truck anyway.

Once we reached the truck I found my keys in my bag and unlocked the door. Edward, always the gentleman – which I have started to notice- opened my door for me. I smiled at that, it was so sweet for him to do the little things like that and I didn't once find it annoying. I threw my bag over into the passenger seat and go in myself. I turned to face Edward, he looked somewhat preoccupied with something like he was debating internally with something. Finally he spoke.

"Bella, you didn't really give me a straight answer before." He said.

"What do you mean? When didn't I give you a straight answer?" I asked confused. What was he talking about? I honestly had no idea.

"When we were talking earlier before class and at lunch you never answered me." He stated.

"Ok what question are you talking about here?" I still had no idea.

"Oh wow you're going to make me ask you again aren't you?" He asked.

"I guess I am." I said trying not to laugh, he obviously wasn't amused as I was.

"Bella." He said taking my hand. "Will you do me the great honour of being my girlfriend officially?"

I just looked at him. I was in shock, he had said something about boyfriend/girlfriend but I don't think he actually asked. I was torn. I wanted to be his girlfriend but was I selfish enough to make him suffer with me through my situation.

"Edward I want to but do you really want this. All of this Edward. There is going to be talk and speculation and gossip and its going to get ugly. I was slowly working myself up to deal with it but to have you endure it too I just, it's not fair on you, especially whent it isn't your situation to deal with." I rambled out quickly. I couldn't think straight.

"Bella, people can talk, I don't care. All I care about is you. Please just say yes." He pleaded.

I closed my eyes and nodded my head. "Yes Edward I want to be your girlfriend." I said.

Edward looked so happy. "Thank you Bella. I hate to do this but I have to go. Can I pick you up for school tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yes you can." I replied.

He leaned in and kissed my cheek again. "I'll see you tomorrow." And with that he closed my door and walked away back towards the school.

I started my truck and headed home. I couldn't believe what had happened. Edward Cullen was now my boyfriend. Then it hit me. How was I going to tell Charlie? He probably wouldn't be too happy and in a small town he was going to find out and so were Edward's parents. I really didn't think about this too well.

When I got home I headed inside. I decided to quickly get dinner organised and sit down to do my homework. My mind was completely distracted by thoughts of Edward. I still couldn't believe it. He was so beautiful and I was well plain and knocked up. I don't know what he sees in me. I just hope that it wasn't just some sick joke to him, but honestly I don't think that he would do that.

Charlie got home not long after I finished my homework and I decided to put dinner on the stove to cook. Charlie seemed somewhat preoccupied and I didn't ask why. We sat down to dinner and ate in silence for a while. Then Charlie broke it.

"How was your day?" He asked.

"Yeah it was ok." I replied.

"You have your appointment today?" He asked.

"No Dad today is Wednesday my appointment is Thursday which is tomorrow." I replied.

"Oh ok. You um still going?"

"Yes I'm still going."

"That's good then." He said smiling at me.

"Um Dad can I ask you something?"

"Yeah of course anything Bells you know that." He said as he put his fork down on the table.

"Um would it be ok if I went to see Dr Cullen about getting a Doctors Certificate for Gym?" I asked.

"Oh yeah I probably should have thought about that. When you go to the hospital make an appointment with Dr Cullen and get one. You definitely shouldn't be doing Gym especially pregnant." He said.

After that dinner was a quiet event. I washed the dishes and then headed up stairs to shower. It didn't take me long. I went into my room and laid down on my bed. Not too long after I laid down my phone started to ring. I rolled over and noticed the caller was of course Renee. I quickly answered it because I knew she would just keep ringing until I picked up or called the house phone instead.

"Hello Mom." I said

"Hey sweetheart. How are you? It feels like I haven't spoken to you in ages." She said quickly.

"I'm good. How are you and how is Phil?" I asked.

"Oh we are both fine sweetheart, Phil is playing tomorrow again, he is going pretty well."

"Well that's good."

"Bella how are you really?" She asked again. "You know you can talk to me right?"

"Yes mom I know. I am fine really. Morning sickness is a pain and I feel like crap ninety percent of the time but other than that I am fine." Oh please believe me.

"You are not telling me the truth Isabella." She said using her sternest parent voice, which really wasn't very stern. "Your father called me and told me he had to get the Doctor to come this morning. "

Oh crap great Charlie threw me to that sharks on this one again. Why does he do that, call her and talk to her about me? I wonder why he didn't tell me this time, maybe that is why he was preoccupied this evening at dinner.

"Mom I just had a nightmare, I have them sometimes. I can not help it." I replied.

"Oh Bella. Do you want to come home? I can meet you back in Phoenix if you want."

"Mom I can't go back there not to that house, I just can't" I whispered into the phone, I wasn't sure if she heard me. I could never go back to that house it held too many bad memories.

"Bella what do mean you can't go back to that house?" She asked concerned and then it clicked "Oh Bella no please tell me it , oh Bella no. Oh baby girl I'm so sorry."

"Mom please it's fine really I just, I want to stay here." I said.

After that our conversation when to neutral topics, such as school and what Renee's hobby of the month is. It was nice to talk to her after the initial sour topic. I really did miss my mother, it was hard not having her around but I knew she would suffer more than what Charlie was. Charlie was hardly home and well knowing Renee if I had stayed with her she wouldn't be able to leave me alone, worried that something would happen to me. After I got off the phone to her, with promises of calling her more often, I got under my covers and went to bed.

The next morning I woke up and I was somewhat excited but also tired. I knew why I was excited, it was because Edward was picking me up today and I was tired because I had another nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep for over an hour. This had to stop, I couldn't keep my current sleep pattern it was making me far too tired. I quickly got dressed and headed down stairs to get breakfast. Breakfast was just like normal, I had a bowl of cereal and Charlie fried himself up some eggs. I had two spoonfuls of my cereal when I ran back up the stairs to the bathroom. I hurled up my two spoonfuls of cereal and my dinner from last night. I felt like crap. Once I was done I brushed my teeth and headed back down stairs. Charlie looked somewhat concerned but I just waved him off.

"Morning sickness, I'm fine." I said.

Charlie got up and went to the sink to wash his plate.

"Bella you still going this Saturday?" he asked as he turned on the tap to rinse his plate.

"Yes Dad I was planning on it." I replied.

He squeezed some dish soap onto his plate and swirled it around with the brush.

"So I guess you won't be back in time for the dance then?" He asked.

"Dad really. I'm not going."

"Didn't anyone ask you?" He asked.

"Dad really it is girls choice, remember?" I snapped.

"Oh right." He said.

I felt bad for snapping at Charlie. He must find it hard being in his position at the moment. I mean I am pregnant and a teenager, doesn't he grasp the fact that I shouldn't have a date for the dance. I guess I could have one now seen as how Edward and I are together but I just wasn't ready for that yet. Charlie took that cue to leave. He waved goodbye as he headed out the door.

I gathered my books up and put them in my bag ready to go. Then all of a sudden there was a knock on the door. I opened it to find Edward standing there smiling down at me.


	22. Chapter 21: And So The Gossiping Begins

**A/N Next Chapter, yay! Hope you like it! There is a little Alice and Bella interaction here!**

**Thanks to my loyal reviewers you know who you are! To the new reviewers, jadedghost22 and RiahhBaby, who posted one on my last chapter thank you!**

**So again let me know what you all think! I honestly love Alice in this Chapter!  
><strong>

Disclaimer: All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 21: <strong>And So The Gossiping Begins

I stood there looking at Edward, I didn't know what to say, I was still trying to come to terms with the fact that he was standing at my front door. All of a sudden it hit me again. I didn't have time to tell Edward what was going on I just clamped my hand over my mouth, willed my stomach contents to stay there until I reached to the toilet bowl as I took off back upstairs to the bathroom. Luckily I made it. I didn't know there was anything else in my stomach to bring back up but there was. I brushed my teeth again and made my way back down stairs. Edward was waiting down there looking confused and concerned.

"Bella, are you ok?" He asked, "Do you need me to take you to see my dad?"

"Edward I am fine, it's just morning sickness that's all." I replied, trying to get him to drop it.

"Ok then, if you are sure. Lets head to school then." He said as he leaned down to pick up my bag.

I followed Edward out to his Volvo, he of course opened my door for me and placed my bag on the floor in front of me. The drive to school was a quiet event, I was too nervous to say anything. His car smelled like him and it helped to relax me. Honestly I was nervous about this afternoon's appointment with Doctor Stewart. Edward was driving me to school and I needed to go to the hospital after school. I don't think I had time to go home to get my truck and then make it back for my appointment.

"Oh crap." I said.

"Bella what is it? What's wrong?" He asked panicked.

"Oh no I'm fine. I just realised something that's all." I said.

"What is it?" He asked concerned.

"I just ... um ... well I have an appointment at the hospital this afternoon right after school." I replied.

"I can take you there after school and I can take you home once you are finished." He said as if t was no big deal.

"Um I don't want to put you out Edward. I have an appointment and it is going to be an hour or so." I really didn't want to put him out. It wasn't fair to make him wait.

"Bella I offered. It is fine I can see my Dad for a minute or I can go and run a few errands. I'm taking you ok, so don't argue." He said firmly.

I realised we were at school. Then I realised that normally all the Cullen kids ride together with Edward. How did they get to school if Edward didn't bring them?

"Um Edward where are your brothers and sisters?" I asked.

Edward just pointed to a red convertible, just a Rosalie opened the door and got out the driver's side.

"They drove Rosalie's car today, seen as how I was picking you up." He said smiling.

"Um what type of car is that?" I asked. The car was rather nice, probably the nicest car in the lot.

"It's a BMW." He replied.

I just nodded. I didn't know much about cars, well beside from how to turn it on, drive it and put gas in it. The essentials, just don't ask me to change a tyre or pop the hood because I defiantly would not know how to do that. Edward got out the car and came to open my door for me, even though I was capable of doing it myself. As soon as I got out everyone in the parking lot stoped and stared at us. I thought that they would be over the staring and whispers but of course turning up to school with Edward Cullen was actually different that just walking around school holding his hand and eating lunch with him. I knew today was going to be one of those days again.

Edward walked me to my first class and before he opened the door for me I turned to say goodbye, just like yesterday he kissed my cheek and then held the door open for me. It was nice that he did that and didn't push further. My classes passed in a blur. I heard whispers all morning from my fellow students, some of them speculating about what was happening between Edward and I, others being bitchy because they wished they were me and others just looked and stared. This was just making me upset, I hated hearing it, they were all being very mean about it. Jessica tried to get some more information from me but I just couldn't be bothered telling her anything else because she would tell Mike and he in turn would tell his friends and then somewhere along the line it would take on a whole new story and that is how rumours start. I didn't want to help spread the gossip especially about myself.

At one point it just became too much and I made an excuse to go to the bathroom. I walked into one of the stalls and closed the door and leaned my head against the wall. I just needed 5 minutes of peace but do you think I was so lucky. I heard the door open and footsteps come in. Great just what I needed, I hoped that they didn't notice me.

"Oh my god, what is with Bella and Edward? He is just way too good for her." Someone said, I couldn't recognise the voice. "I bet they aren't even going out, maybe he feels sorry for her. She is just so plain and boring."

"No didn't you hear what happened with them?" Said another voice, Lauren, oh well this was going to be interesting.

"What do you mean?" The first girl asked.

"Oh come on you have to have seen it?" Lauren sneered.

"Seen what? Lauren just spit it out if you know something?"

"Oh fine, just because you are like so blind I have to spell it out for you." Lauren huffed. "Did you see how they acted when she first got here? It was like she was someone he hated straight away, I don't know why but he did but then it all changed when he saved her from the Tyler's van, like why would you risk your life for someone you hate, so they must have been putting on an act or something and then they didn't speak for like a month after the accident."

"Ok your point?"

"Oh really can't you see it? I bet they fucked each other you know, like because he saved her and maybe that was her way of saying thanks, then they didn't speak because he regretted it and now why all of a sudden are they talking again?" Lauren snapped.

"Seriously Lauren what are you trying to say? I'm not a mind reader you know." The first girl asked getting impatient.

"Really are you like blind because I really think you are." Lauren said sounding rather annoyed.

"If you aren't going to tell me then I am just going to go back to class." The girl snapped.

"Ok fine, I'm sorry that you just aren't as perceptive as me. But I bet you anything they are now talking and being all happy and the boyfriend/girlfriend crap because ..."

"Wait." The girl interrupted, "What they are boyfriend and girlfriend now?" The girl asked shocked.

"Yeah didn't you know? He asked her after school and Peter overheard him asking her, she said yes of course." Lauren replied sounding rather unhappy. "Anyway as I was saying, I bet you they are only going out because he got her pregnant."

"What?" the other girl screeched. "No way. I bet Edward isn't that stupid. His dad is a doctor after all I bet he knows how to be safe. Why would he want to be stuck with her?"

I was having trouble breathing, this was not happening. How the hell did they come to that conclusion? I just didn't know what do to. I wanted to get as far away from the school as possible but I just couldn't move.

"He doesn't have to go out with her. I mean she could get rid of it. I would prefer it was me. I'd love to have his babies." Lauren said happily.

They were so far from the truth it wasn't funny. I knew there would be rumours but this was just plain mean. I wanted to go out and set them straight but I just couldn't. I could feel my tears running down my face. Just then the door opened and another set of footsteps came into the bathroom. I don't think Lauren and the other girl heard them because they kept talking.

"I honestly hope they break up. I think Edward can do better than her. Do you want me to help break them up and make him like you? I'm sure that would be easy enough I mean it is Bella she is just so plain and boring and you are so much more pretty and interesting?" The girl asked.

"Oh yes definitely we could so break them up and who cares if she is ..." Lauren said.

"YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING YOU LITTLE BITCHES." Someone else yelled. Whoever it was must have scared them. "You will leave my brother and Bella alone. If I hear you spreading rumours or trying to break them up you will have me and Rosalie to deal with and trust me when you mess with my family it will not be pretty what we do to you."

I didn't hear what Lauren and the other girl said but they quickly ran out of the bathroom. I was thankful that Alice had come into the bathroom and said something, I just hope she doesn't realise I was here. I waited a few minutes, I wasn't sure how long but I hoped Alice had left the bathroom. I was too wrapped up in my own head to realise if she had left or not. I decided to leave the stall. I couldn't stay here all day, I could just imagine what else I would of heard about me today, if I stayed here. As soon as I stepped out I wish I hadn't.

Alice was sitting on the counter near the sink watching my stall door, as if she was waiting for me to come out.

"I wondered how long it would take for you to come out." She said giving me a small smile. "I'm guessing you heard everything Lauren and Anna said. What did they say before I got here?" She asked.

I just nodded and burst into tears. Alice quickly jumped down off the counter and come over to me. She pulled a tissue from her bag and gave it to me. She gave me a hug and tried to reassure me that everything was ok. But it wasn't. She didn't know everything. It was far from ok. I moved to the wall and slide down, I pulled my legs up and rested my head on my knees.

"Bella, what did they say? You can tell me, I'll go and rip their heads off if you want. I have been waiting for a reason for so long, please just give me a reason." She begged.

"I'm fine really." I choked out. I looked up and she didn't look so convinced.

"Bella when I walked in they were talking about trying to break you and Edward up. I really think they are delusional, like my brother would break up with you. I know what they are like and I'm guessing it was bad what they were saying." She said reassuringly.

"They were just being mean, they don't like that Edward and I are together." I said, editing it a lot. "I mean I think they are right. Maybe I shouldn't be with Edward."

"WHAT!" Alice screeched, "Bella really. Edward loves you. Ok now I think you are the delusional one."

I just looked up at her and raised my eyebrows at her. She just smiled and shook her head.

"Well you must be. You don't see the changes in him that we do. He is finally happy. You make him happy. Please don't take my brother away again. I just got him back." Alice sobbed. I didn't notice that she had tears streaming down her face.

"Oh Alice I'm sorry. Please don't cry. You'll make me cry." I pleaded but it was too late I was crying again.

Just then the door opens and Rosalie walks in, she stops dead in her tracks when she sees Alice and I on the floor crying. She raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, raises her hands and starts to back out of the bathroom slowly.

"I so don't want to know." Rosalie says as her quickly exits the bathroom. I was stunned. I didn't know what to make of the situation.

"Don't worry about Rose." Alice said reassuringly. "She is kind of hard to like sometimes that is until you get to know her."

"I get the feeling she hates me." I stated.

"Yeah she gives off that vibe. Don't worry about her she is just worried about Edward. He hasn't had the best track record with girls." Alice said.

"I know." I whispered. I thought I said it quiet enough that Alice wouldn't hear but I was wrong.

"He told you." She stated, it wasn't a question. "He really does love you." She stated again.

I actually stated to feel dizzy. The room felt like it was spinning. I was just so drained. I wanted to just go home and curl up in bed forever. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should tell Edward what happened or if I should just break up with him.

"Don't you dare Bella." Alice said sternly.

"What?" I asked shocked.

"I can tell you know. The look on your face says it all. Don't even think about it, it will crush him. He loves you. Don't you dare break up with him because of those bitches." Alice said.

I was shocked how the hell did she know what I was going to do, or think of doing. I needed to get up and fast. I ran to the toilet and threw up. Oh really, how long can this go on for. I was already drained from lack of sleep, the incident with those "bitches"- as Alice put it - and now throwing up again. I just couldn't win. Alice, god love her, held my hair while I emptied my stomach. I went out to rinse my mouth out. After I had done that Alice handed me a breath mint. I smiled at her and thanked her.

"You ok?" She asked.

I was over it and I just couldn't wait to see Edward again. It was a weird feeling, I had never felt like this before about a guy and it somewhat scared me. I mean Edward could walk away at any time there was nothing holding him to me, this baby wasn't his and if things got too hard he could just walk away without a second thought. This line of thinking started to make me feel depressed. Maybe I should be the bigger person and walk away first. I mean the rumours obviously had already started.

"Bella, you ok?" She asked again.

"Yeah I am fine." I replied automatically.

Alice looked at me for a moment, it was like she was analysing me and the she nodded. "Ok then." She said.

Just then the Bella rang and Alice and I walked out of the bathroom. Edward was waiting for us, or me, I don't know who but he was there. He smiled when he seen us, I knew it was somewhat forced because it didn't reach his eyes. I smiled back at him but I honestly don't think it was too convincing.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking at me and then Alice.

"Nothing I'm fine, just tired." I replied. It was true so I wasn't really lying. He didn't seemed to accept that.

"Alice." He said, as he kept looking at me.

"Lauren and Anna that's what." Alice replied.

Then he turned to her. They started at each other for a few moments. It was weird and I felt out of place. Then he turned back to me.

"Bella what happened?" He asked calmly.

"It was nothing really. Just let it go." I replied hoping that he would drop it but of course Alice had other plans.

"Nothing, Bella that was not nothing. I want to rip those bitches heads of." Alice replied angrily.

"Alice." Edward said again this time he was trying to keep calm.

"Well I didn't hear all of it, I came in at the end and I am guessing that Bella overheard a lot more that I did. But when I walked in they were talking about breaking you two up and trying to get you to date Lauren." Alice said.

"What, really those girls, I would never date them. Not if they were the last girls left in the world." Edward replied angrily. "Bella, what else did they say?"

"Edward please note now." I said looked around. He seemed to understand and he dropped it.

"Edward you make her tell you. She wouldn't tell me but I am guessing it was bad. They made her cry and she threw up too." Alice said, little did she know she was digging a deeper hole for me to try to get out of.

I looked at Edward, he looked pissed and concerned at the same time.

"I will Alice, thank you." He said and with that Alice walked off.

"See you later Bella." She said as she walked off. "Oh and don't worry about those bitches."

We walked to the cafeteria holding hands, all the while having everyone staring at us. I knew Edward was upset, I didn't want to look at him because I knew I would cry. Edward quickly retrieved out lunch, I followed but was barely paying attention. I sat down opposite him and looked at him. He was concerned that was clear.

"I'm fine, really. Stop looking at me like that." I said quietly. "Oh and how did you know where I was, I wasn't in class and that bathroom is nowhere near my classroom?"

"Sorry I'm just worried. Please eat something. I'm guessing you haven't got anything in your stomach considering you were throwing up this morning and again at school." He said. "Rosalie told me where you were."

"Yeah, you noticed that this morning huh?" I asked. "Rosalie told you." I was shocked to say the least, maybe she was nice after all.

He just nodded and pushed the tray towards me. I again picked up a piece of pizza and started to eat. Edward picked up his own piece and started eating as well. I didn't know what to say or how to say it to Edward. I knew he would be mad and I didn't want him to be mad at me too. I mean the rumours were starting already and well this so wasn't his fault. He could hate me.

"Bella, stop thinking so hard. You'll end up with permanent wrinkled on your forehead." He said trying to lighten the mood but I knew it was forced.

I signed and nodded. How could I not think, I mean the rumours were out there and I wasn't even showing yet. I was only about 3 months pregnant but I knew it wouldn't be long before the rumours started but now really. I dropped my slice of pizza no longer hungry.

"Bella please eat, you have been sick at least twice today that I know of. You need to eat not only for you but the baby." He said concerned as he pushed the pizza back towards me.

I nodded. "Can you not say that out loud please?" I asked as I picked up the slice of pizza.

"Say what out loud Bella?" He asked confused.

"Baby." I whispered.

Edward looked even more confused. "Why?" He asked.

"Rumours are already starting." I stated.

"What?" Edward said angrily as he slammed his hand down on the table.

"Edward please calm down, the other students will stare and I don't want them to talk more. It is bad enough as it is." I said quietly. I looked up and sure enough everyone was starting, including his brothers and sisters, Alice looked on with concern written all over her face and well everyone else looked confused.

"Sorry Bella. Can you please tell me what they said?" He pleaded.

"You will be mad." I stated.

"Bella I won't be mad at you, I'll be mad at them." He said reassuringly. "I just want to know what they said."

"You might be mad at me too." I said quietly.

"Bella, please let me make up my own mind. It is killing me here not knowing."

"They were talking about us. How they know that we are official now, Peter overheard you asking me out. They don't like that we are together. They think I am not worthy of you or something. So I guess they came up with their own little reason as to why we are together now. They have one part right in a way." I said truthfully.

"Bella what do you mean?" He asked confused.

"They said that you are only with me because you got me pregnant. Somehow I was saying thanks to you for saving me , Tyler's van remember, and that somehow I thanked you by sleeping with you and getting knocked up and forcing you to be with me." I whispered. "Well they got the part about me being pregnant right at least."

"They said what. I should let Alice rip their heads off." He stated angrily.

"You're mad." I said quietly.

"Oh Bella I am not mad at you. I am mad at them for saying that you are not good enough for me. I am mad that they think that you got pregnant and are forcing me to stay with you. I am mad because I think you are leaving things out." He said quickly.

"I knew you would be mad at me."

"Bella I am not mad at you." He said again slowly. "I could never be mad at you. I am mad because I think you are trying to keep things from me."

"You should be mad at me."

"Why?" He asked.

"They think you got me pregnant." I stated, didn't he hear that part.

"I don't care. They can think that all they want." He said calmly. "I am not going to correct them."

"What?" I asked shocked. He shouldn't want that. He should correct them. I didn't want this to affect him like that.

"Bella, if they want to think that let them. It would be easier that way. Everyone who needs to know the truth will and I couldn't be bothered correcting them. It is not like it would do any good. They probably wouldn't believe the truth anyway and I don't want you to have to say what really happened. You have been through enough as it is." He said.

"Edward I can't let you do that. It isn't fair on you. What happens if you don't want this anymore and walk away? You will become the bad guy then." I asked.

"I am not walking away." He stated. "Bella please eat. I am worried about you."

I nodded and stated to eat again. "You might. You don't have any responsibility towards me. If it gets too hard you might, you can't say you won't because you don't know that."

"Bella please. Can we not talk about that, I know I am not walking away."

"Yeah well wait until you tell your family." I stated, looking him straight in the eye.

"Bella, we will deal with that when we tell them. Nothing they can say or do will keep me away from you." He said reassuringly.

"Yeah well maybe they might make you move again." I said angrily. Why couldn't he understand? It would be different if it was his baby but it wasn't. He had no reason to stay with me, no responsibility towards me or my baby. If he walked away I know it would kill me but I couldn't tell him that, he should walk away without thinking twice about what it would do to me.

I looked up to Edward, I knew he was trying really hard to control his anger. I knew what I said would hurt him. I didn't want to hurt him but he had to see that his parents were going to be really angry with him, they were going to hate me. They would probably try to get him to break up with me.

"Bella. I. AM. NOT. GOING. ANYWHERE." He said slowly. "They can leave if they want but that doesn't mean that I would go with them."

I was shocked. He would leave his family to stay with me. He had to be joking, they were his family. That just wasn't right. This wasn't right. Before I could say anything the bell rang and we had to go to Biology.

Edward held my hand and walked with me to class. He held the door open for me and helped me to my seat. Jessica was looking at me weird, great so Lauren must have spread the gossip she came up with in the bathroom. Edward seemed to notice where I was looking. He put his arm around me protectively and kissed my temple.

"Don't worry Bella please. It isn't good for you or the baby." He whispered.

I just nodded. Class went on the same as yesterday, watching the stupid TV. Class went a little too quickly, I didn't want to go to gym. Edward walked me again to gym, kissed my cheek, whispered reassurances to me and walked away.

Gym passed slowly. Mike showed how well he is at badminton, playing against two other players while I stood at the back of the court. He didn't speak to me at all today, so the gossip was spreading like wildfire then. Once gym was finished I hurried to change. I was moving a little too quickly as I was rather clumsy, more so than usual. I just wanted to go to Edward. I felt relief when I walked out of gym and again he was standing there against the wall waiting for me. He smiled at me and reached out his hand to take mine.

"You sure you don't mind taking me to the hospital?" I asked. "You know if certain people see us walking in it is only going to fuel the rumours."

"I am fine taking you Bella, I offered." He said. He didn't say anymore than that. Once we reached his car he opened the door for me.

We drove to the hospital in silence, I was too nervous about my appointment to talk. I didn't know what to expect, last appointment Charlie had to come and get me. A lot has happened since my last appointment. Edward opened my door and I jumped. I didn't notice that we had stopped at the hospital.

"Sorry Bella, I didn't mean to scare you." He said.

"That's fine, I wasn't paying attention." I stated.

I got out and started towards the hospital doors. Edward held my hand and I didn't know why he did that. His father worked here and if he saw us well he would know something was going on with us and well he knows about me being pregnant. I looked at Edward.

"It is fine Bella." He said reassuringly and I just nodded.

We walked in and as soon as we did I regretted it. I wish I had of came myself. Standing there at the front desk writing on a patients chart was Dr. Cullen, Edward's father. I wanted to run out, Edward must have sensed my nervousness because he squeezed my hand.

"Dad." Edward said to his father gaining his attention.

"Edward son, what brings you here? Are you alright?" He asked concerned as he looked up from his work.

"Fine Dad, nothing wrong just dropping Bella off." He said.

"Bella how are you?" He asked as he looked down at Edward and my hands that were joined.

"I'm fine thanks." I replied.

Edward coughed. Ok really he was going to do this now. I looked at him and he raised his eyebrow as if to challenge me.

"She is far from fine Dad." Edward said to his father.

Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrow and give him the evil eye. I really wanted to hit him. I don't know where that came from but I did. Just throw me under the bus so to speak why don't you.

"I'm fine." I said again but of course it was as if talking to a brick wall. Dr Cullen just looked between the two of us trying to figure it out.

"Dad, she is not fine. She has been throwing up a lot." He informed his father. "She has also been getting dizzy, especially if she stands up to quickly."

I had had enough. They could talk about me when I was gone, it wasn't as if it mattered if I was here for this or not, Edward was going to tell him anyway.

"I have to go or else I am going to be late." I said angrily.

"Dad, could you see Bella after she finishes with her appointment?" Edward asked his father.

"Of course, I will clear my schedule. Your appointment is for an hour, correct?" He asked.

"Yes. But if you don't have time today it is alright I can make an appointment for another day." I said.

"No it is fine Bella. Come to my office once you are finished with your appointment." Dr Cullen said.

"Thanks Dr Cullen. Um Edward I'll see you once I'm finished." I said.

"No problems Bella I'll wait here for you." Edward assured me. He was smiling at me, showing that he had won in our little battle, which infuriated me.

With that I left Edward and his Dad standing there as I made my way over to Dr Stewart's office. I didn't have to wait long before I was called into Dr Stewarts office. We exchanged hello's, and started out with general chit chat nothing too in depth. I knew however she was working up to it.

"So Bella how have you been sleeping?" she asked.

"Not well. I have been having nightmares. I have them nearly every night." I replied sadly. "The other night it was so bad that Charlie had to call Dr Cullen because I was having a panic attack."

"What are they about Bella?" She asked.

"They change sometimes it what James did to me. It is as if it is happening again. Then other times it is different."

"Different how?" she prompted.

"Edward is there and he stops him." I replied smiling.

"Edward, who is Edward?" She asked.

"Um my boyfriend." I said unsure. Well she couldn't tell anyone, what I said here stays here.

"Your boyfriend? When did this happen?" She asked trying to hide her shock.

"The other day. I don't know, I can't explain it. I feel safe around him. He doesn't scare me or push me. He knows that something happened." I replied. "He is different I can tell. I feel it."

"You told him what happened to you?"

"Well not in detail, he knows I am pregnant and that I didn't willingly participate in how it happened, so in a way yes."

"It is great that you feel comfortable to tell him. " She stated.

"He doesn't care that I am pregnant. He should care. People are already talking, wondering why we are together when he is so great and I am well boring and ugly. I am going to bring him down. It isn't fair. I didn't want this, to be pregnant at 17. I know it wasn't my fault but it still doesn't change the fact that I am going to be a mom at 18. He shouldn't have to deal with that. What are people going to think of him? They are going to think that it is his, I don't want to bring him down with me." I was yelling and sobbing by the end of my rant.

"Bella, he knows and he wants to stay with you. He must really like you to stay with you through this and all the gossip that is going to come from it."

"That's the thing he shouldn't have to endure that. It should be me that is gossiped about not him. He had no part in what happened. I wish it was his baby. I know that sounds stupid and irrational but he is perfect. He is willing to be with me when I am pregnant with my rapists baby. Who does that?"

"Someone who obviously cares about you a lot." She stated. "Bella it is his decision to make, if he wants to be there for you or not. If you like him then be with him. If he doesn't then he will walk away. You can not make that decision for him. If you do not like him or love him then tell him. Don't you lead him on just because he is there for you. If you just want to be friends tell him, if you want to be more than friends then that is fine too. You both need to be on the same page because it will hurt the two of you in the long run especially with the road you have ahead of you."

"I know. I don't deserve that." I sobbed. "I do. I do like him maybe even love him. I just don't get why he wants to be with me. No one should want to be with me again. I am broken. I am damaged beyond repair. I don't think I will ever get over what happened and he shouldn't have to deal with that and be stuck with someone who is broken. I should tell him to walk away it would be easier for him if I did. But what happens if we stay together and then it gets too hard and he leaves because he doesn't want this anymore?"

"Oh Bella. You can not foresee the future, I wish we could. You are just going to have to take things day by day. Talk to Edward about how you are feeling, communicate with him. Communication is the key. If you can not tell him how you feel then maybe you aren't ready to be in a relationship. You have a lot to deal with already. I am not going to say it is going to be easy because it is not, far from it. Once you start to show people will talk, they will gossip, they are going to get it wrong. It is going to hurt. You need to stay strong and talk it out with me, Edward and your parents. We are your support system, we are here for you whenever you need us. If you need to talk at all call me. I will be happy to talk to you over the phone or in person if you need to. If things get too hard and you just need to talk I'll be here for you. You can not keep things inside it isn't good for you or the baby." Dr Stewart said reassuringly.

"Thanks. I just don't know what the right thing to do here is. I mean I don't want to end things with Edward but I don't want him to have to deal with what I know is going to come. It is one thing for me to endure the gossip and stares but for Edward too as well when he had nothing to do with it. I just don't know. I hate myself right now." I sobbed.

"Bella, it is Edward's choice as well. I am sure he knows what is going to happen, with the gossip and stares, if he still wants to be with you then let him, if that is what you want. He sounds like a very honourable guy. Don't push him away because you think it is the right thing for him."

"I guess it should be his decision too but I just feel so bad about it." I said sadly.

"That is understandable. Do you think you would feel comfortable telling Edward what happened?" Dr Stewart asked.

"I don't know if I should tell him." I responded stunned. She couldn't expect me to tell Edward, he shouldn't have to hear that. It is bad enough I had to live through that. I couldn't tell him.

"Bella I don't mean go into great details about what happened. I mean just telling him about James and what happened but obviously not going into great detail about the actual incident." Dr Stewart said.

"Do you think I should?" I asked.

"I think you should tell him what you feel comfortable with telling him. He is your boyfriend and it would be good for him to understand what you are going through, maybe it would help you deal with what happened and make you feel more comfortable around people. I know that you aren't too comfortable around people. I've seen you sitting in the waiting room and I've noticed it more with males but you do it with females as well. But I have noticed that when a male walks near you it makes you flinch and lean away from them. You might not notice that you do it but you do. Also it might help you and Edward with your relationship to have him come here and talk about what you both expect and set boundaries, you have been through a lot and you might not feel comfortable doing certain things with him and he might not know this. It is just a suggestion Bella. If you don't feel comfortable talking with Edward maybe we could do this with your parents?"

"I don't know if I am ready to talk about it with other people but I guess the talk with Edward should happen. I mean I don't know what he expects from this or what he wants from me. I know I can not go there with Edward. I just can not, oh what if he wants that?" I asked panicked.

"Bella breathe. It's ok. I didn't mean to make you jump to conclusions with Edward. But I do think it is a good idea to maybe have a session where he comes but only if you both want to. You can not force him to come but if you both are willing to talk then I am here. Maybe just bring it up with him, if he says yes then bring him to one of your sessions ok?"

"Ok I will. I'll talk to him and see." I replied.

"Good Bella. I do what to do a session with your parents and you. I think it would be a good idea to talk to them too. I of course will be here to help you but only when you are ready. I don't want to push you." Dr Stewart suggested.

"I guess you are right. I feel bad that they are suffering because of me. I don't want them to. It would be good to have someone to help me talk to them." I said.

"Ok well have a talk to them and see. I know your Mother lives out of state so if you just want to have your Father come in first then that is fine or if you want to wait until they are both here that is fine too." She stated.

"I think I just want to do it once. I don't think I could tell them individually it would be hard enough telling it once but twice. But I will talk to them and see."

"Ok Bella I want you to talk to me about James." She said suddenly. It caught me off guard.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I want you to tell me about James. We haven't really dealt with him much today, just about your nightmares and your new boyfriend. I want to focus on James for a moment." She stated.

"Ok."

"What does he look like?" She asked.

I didn't know why she was asking me. It was confusing. I hated him, I hated thinking about him. I didn't want to describe him to her. I think she is the one in need of help.

"Bella what are you thinking?" Dr Stewart asked suddenly.

"I hate him and you want me to describe him to you?" I yelled stunned.

"Yes" Dr Stewart answered. "Bella tell me about him?" She said sternly.

I had no idea what she was getting at. So I decided to talk to her, she was here to help me and I guess this was something she was doing to help me.

"He is taller than me, blue eyes. I don't like his eyes." I stated, my hand started shaking.

"Why?"

"The way he looked at me, it was creepy. Like he was always undressing me. It made me uncomfortable."

"Tell me more Bella." Dr Stewart encouraged.

"He had long blonde hair. It smelled of smoke. He always wore a leather jacket. That smelled of smoke too. I hate the smell of smoke. It reminds me of him." I started having trouble breathing. It was like I could smell him, smell the smoke.

"Bella what's wrong?" Dr Stewart asked calmly.

"It's like I can smell him. Smell the smoke. It makes me sick thinking about it."

"Ok what smell do you like?" Dr Stewart asked.

"Why ... what?" I asked confused.

"Tell me something you like the smell of?"

"Edward. I like the way Edward smells, it's relaxing." I said, my breathing started to even out.

"Good Bella. I didn't even have to tell you to think of the smell, you did it yourself. I'm proud of you." Dr Stewart said. "Bella whenever you feel like you're going to have a panic attack or something reminds you of what happened or about James, I want you to think of something good, something you like that will help relax you. It seems that Edward might be that thing that can help you." She said smiling.

"Really, you think that would work?" I asked stunned.

"Yes, it worked just then, you were going to have a panic attack right then, you started to I could see it coming but you calmed down when you thought of Edward. Obviously he is good for you. So when you have a nightmare and you wake up I want you to think of Edward."

We continued to talk about James, what made me panic and ways to calm down so that I didn't get into a panic attack where I was forced to come to the hospital or have Dr Cullen make another house call. Having Dr Cullen come to my house once was enough. We talked about what things made me freak out and my issues with everyone around me. I knew I was jumpy around people I didn't know and Dr Stewart informed me that it was normal. I knew that not everyone was like James but it still didn't make me any less jumpy and Dr Stewart wanted to talk more about that at a later session. We talked about the incident in Port Angeles and how Edward saved me. We discussed how I felt about the situation and before long my session was over. I actually felt good after this session, we did touch of a lot of different aspects from Edward, James, the incident in Port Angeles and about talking to Edward and my parents about coming to a session.

I walked out of and headed back towards reception desk, I had no idea where Dr Cullen's office was. Just as I rounded the corner and I saw Edward sitting in a chair in the waiting area. He noticed me, jumped straight up and walked over to me.

"Hey, you ok?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah I'm good." I replied.

He reached up and wiped a tear away from my cheek. I didn't notice that I was still crying. That was embarrassing.

"You sure?" He asked again.

"Yeah, I generally cry at my sessions. I'll be fine soon. Um where is your Dad's office?" I asked.

"Come on I'll walk you." He said smiling at me.

Edward walked me to his Dad's office, he held my hand the whole way and he kept glancing at me with a worried expression. Once we reached Dr Cullen's office Edward knocked on his door.

"Come in?" Dr Cullen said from behind the door.

Edward opened the door and led me in, closing the door behind him. Dr Cullen looked up from his notes and smiled.

"Bella, Edward." He said.

"Dad, you right to see Bella now or should we come back?" He asked.

"If you don't have time it is fine." I said quickly. I didn't want to put him out.

"No it is fine. I don't have any more appointments today, well unless someone gets rushed into the ER, I'm on call." He stated.

"Ok thanks Dad. Um I'll leave you two to it. I'll just wait outside. Oh and Bella." He said as I looked at him confused. "You better tell my Dad everything and I mean everything. Promise me." He said firmly.

"Ok." I said quietly. Great so now Dr Cullen is going to wonder what was going on.

"Ok good. I'll be outside. Dad." He nodded to his Dad and kissed me on the cheek before leaving the room and closing the door. I looked at Dr Cullen he looked somewhere between shocked and disappointed.

"Bella please take a seat." He said gesturing to the seat in front of his desk. I quickly took a seat. "So what can I do for you today?"

"Um I was wondering if I could maybe get a doctors certificate to miss gym." I asked.

"Definitely, I can write you one excusing you from the physical aspect of it." He said as he took out a notepad and started writing.

"You aren't going to say why are you?" I asked scared, I didn't want the teachers to know yet.

"Of course not. I don't need to write down specifics. I will just write down that you are excused from the physical gym activities, if they have an issue they can call me and I can discuss it further but I will not tell them that you are pregnant. That is something that they do not need to know. If they make participate in physical gym activities, call me and I will call the school." He stated as he continued to write.

"Thanks." I said.

Dr Cullen then pulled out a file and read through it for a moment. I was confused for a moment and Dr Cullen seemed to notice.

"It's your file Bella." He stated. "I haven't seen you since the accident which was over a month and a half ago. I just want to do a few quick routine checks. Blood pressure, weight and another blood test just to make sure everything is ok."

I nodded. Blood test, that means a needle. I hated needles and blood. Dr Cullen quickly took my blood pressure, weighed me and drew some blood. Then we both took out seats again at his desk.

"Ok Bella. Your blood pressure is a little high. I am a little concerned but you did have your appointment with Dr Stewart so that could be a reason why it is elevated. I want to keep an eye on it. Also your weight. You have lost weight, which you shouldn't be. How has the morning sickness been?" He asked.

I laughed and he looked at me confused.

"You mean all day sickness." I replied bitterly.

"How many times do you think you are vomiting?" He asked.

"Well the past week or so I swear it is almost every time I eat. I haven't been able to keep anything down properly. This morning I ate two spoonfuls of cereal before I threw up. The other night I drank some tea and I threw that up straight away. I don't know, I didn't think it would be so bad." I replied honestly.

"Morning sickness is different for everyone. Ok well I want you to come back on Monday after school. You don't have an appointment with Dr Stewart then do you?" He asked.

"No I don't"

"Ok good. I want you to come here straight after school and I will have your blood test results, if anything is wrong with the blood test results I will call you to let you know before Monday. I also want to check your weight and blood pressure again on Monday. I am slightly worried about your weight loss and the blood pressure. With the morning sickness, try to eat bland foods. Dry toast, crackers and drink lemonade or sports drinks to help keep you hydrated." Dr Cullen informed me.

"Ok no problem thanks for seeing me on such short notice and for the Doctors Certificate." I said gratefully as he handed it to me.

"Not a problem Bella anytime. My door is always open." He said as we both stood up. He came around and opened the door for me.

I walked out and Edward stood up quickly and came over to us, looking concerned. I smiled at him and he smiled back. Just then Dr Cullen's pager went off.

"Edward. I'll see you at home. Tell your mother I should be home by 7. Bella, take it easy and I will see you Monday." He said as he quickly made his way towards the ER.

Edward took my hand and led me towards the exit.

"How was everything?" He asked.

"I'm fine, got a doctors certificate for gym." I said.

"Why does my Dad want to see you on Monday." He asked concern written all over his face.

"Well it seems I have lost weight and my blood pressure is a little high and I need to get the results of my blood test." I said quickly.

"That is bad. You shouldn't be losing weight." He said worried.

"I'm fine. Your Dad gave me some good suggestions about how to keep food down." I said.

"What did he tell you?" He asked.

"Just to eat dry toast and crackers and to drink lemonade and sports drinks." I replied.

"Do you have lemonade at home or sports drinks?" He asked.

I had to think about that. I don't think we did.

"Um no I don't think so."

"Ok well let's stop at the grocery store before I drop you home." He said.

We quickly stopped in at the grocery store and Edward helped me gather the items I needed. People stared and pointed, mainly students from school, but he was great, didn't even bother him. He held my hand the entire time and carried the basket of groceries. It felt normal to go shopping with him. He seemed happy to help me and concerned about me. I had never felt this way about anyone before and it actually scared me. I hoped he was strong enough to endure what was to come and I hoped that I was strong enough as well.

After I paid for the items, we headed back out to his Volvo and he drove me home. Charlie wasn't home when I got there which was a relief, I didn't know how to explain Edward at the moment.

"Can I pick you up tomorrow?" He asked.

"You want to?' I asked back shocked.

"Of course." He replied instantly.

"Ok that would be nice." I said smiling at him.

He quickly got out of the car, I was too quick for him this time and he gave me a disapproving look but continued to get the bags of groceries from the back seat. I took them from him and smiled. He wasn't happy that I was carrying them but I just wasn't ready for him to come inside. Something about the idea of him coming inside freaked me out. I think I might have to talk to Dr Stewart about that and maybe Edward. I hoped he understands.

"You right with those Bella?" he asked concerned.

"Yes they aren't that heavy." I said reassuringly.

"Ok then. I'll see you tomorrow." He said as he kissed my cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Edward." I said.

"Goodnight Bella." He replied as he got back into his Volvo.

I walked up the stairs and unlocked the door. I turned and seen that Edward was still sitting in his Volvo watching me. I smiled and waved, letting him know I was ok. He honked his horn and then drove off. I walked inside and closed the door. Today had been a draining day. I walked towards the kitchen and started to put the groceries away. Half way through putting the groceries away the house phone rang.


	23. Chapter 22: Alice

**A/N Sorry it's taken a week to update been really sick and haven't had the energy to even look at my computer.**

**I hope you like this chapter, let me know what you think.**

**Thanks to TheSpunkRansom, maella201, gypsy411 who reviewed/commented means a lot to me!**

**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 22:<strong> Alice

It took me a few moments to realise that the phone was ringing. I got up quickly and placed the jar of spaghetti sauce on the counter and went to answer the phone.

"Hello Swan Residence." I said into the phone, I'd been listening to Charlie answer the phone too much.

"Bella, it's Jessica." She said all too happy. Oh great why is she calling.

"Hi Jessica, how are you?" I asked trying to be polite.

"Oh I'm good. So you and Edward huh?" She said innocently.

"I don't know what you mean Jessica." I said. I really didn't want to get into this.

"Oh come on. You are pretty clever, I mean you caught Edward Cullen. No girl has managed to do that. It is pretty good even if you did trap him." She sneered.

What the hell is she on about, seriously I think I prefer big cities than small towns. How on earth did I trap Edward?

"Really Jessica I have no idea what you mean. Can you please just get to the point?" I asked not hiding my annoyance.

"Oh Bella I'm putting you on speaker Lauren is here too." She said. Oh this just gets even better.

"Oh Bella. really I have to give credit where credit is due. I mean all a girl has to do is get knocked up and Edward being the decent guy he is of course would stay with you. I mean I wish I thought of that. I bet he felt sorry for you that's why he did it." Lauren sneered into the phone.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. I did not trap Edward. If you are just going to go on with crap I'm hanging up." I said angrily.

"Oh she is so getting angry it must be true. She wouldn't get angry if it weren't true." Jessica said quickly.

"Oh come on it has be to true, she goes to the hospital and Edward takes her I mean why else would he take her. I can't wait to tell everyone tomorrow." Laruen said happily, as if I wasn't on the other end of the phone.

"Look the crap you are going on with is far from the truth. You know you should ask people and not just jump to conclusions it could come back to bite you. So check you facts first." I yelled angrily into the phone before slamming the receiver down and hanging up.

I had no idea what their problems were. I know they both seemed to like Edward but they didn't really know him. I am pretty sure that he would not have talked to them about his past like he did with me. They only liked him because he was beautiful and everyone seemed to notice him, that's what they were after the attention of being with someone like Edward, they didn't actually like him for him. They didn't even know him.

I slid down the side of the counter and started crying. I couldn't help it. I didn't want this for Edward. I couldn't let him be dragged down with me it wasn't fair. I don't know how long I was on the floor but Charlie came in carrying three boxes of pizza and a 6 pack of beer. He took one look at me sitting on the floor and threw everything on the table before coming to sit next to me.

"Billy, Jacob just turn the game on I'll be in there in a minute." He yelled before turning to face me. "Bella honey what is it? Are you ok?" He asked concerned.

I just shook my head. I couldn't find words yet. I grabbed a hold of Charlie and cried into his jacket. He let me cry for a while before pulling me back.

"Bella honey, tell me what's wrong, are you ok?"

"I just ... I ... I didn't mean for this ... to ... happen." I sobbed.

"What to happen Bella? I don't understand." He asked clearly confused.

"He is ... it's just ... not fair." I sobbed.

"Bella honey I have no idea what you are talking about. Who is he? What has he done? Tell me who he is and I'll sort him out." He said getting angrier by the second.

I realised then that I had said too much. I can't believe that I am talking to Charlie about this. I was just so drained and upset that I forgot that Charlie didn't know about me and Edward yet.

"It's nothing Dad. Sorry. I'm just all over the place right now. I'm fine. Just go watch the game and I'll bring some plates in." I said quickly. I didn't want to have this conversation with Charlie right now, especially with Jacob and Billy being here.

He seemed to think it over for a minute before he got up, took the beer and walked into the other room. I quickly jumped up and collected some paper plates – it was actually amazing that Charlie had them- and headed to the living room. I sat on the sofa with Jacob, while Charlie had his recliner and Billy stayed in his wheelchair next to Charlie. We watched the game and ate the pizza mostly in silence. Billy, Charlie and Jacob making some comments during the game, I couldn't understand what they were talking about. They all seemed to enjoy the game, even though their team lost. Jacob and I spoke briefly during the game, he was asking if I had any plans to head back down to La Push, about school and I asked him about the latest gossip from the rez. Soon after the game finished they decided it was time to go. I got up along with Charlie to walk them out.

"Well Bella it was good to see you. Hopefully we might see more of you." Billy said as I leaned down to give him a hug. "He is happy you're home Bella, I can see it." He whispered in my ear.

"I know." I whispered back. "It was good seeing you again Billy."

Charlie helped Billy navigate his wheelchair down the stairs and then I was faced with Jacob.

"You should come down to La Push soon and hang out." Jacob said as he leaned in and hugged me. I tried not to flinch, he was nice enough and I knew he wouldn't hurt me.

"You never know I might." I said smiling. "See you later Jacob."

"Yeah Bella bye." He said as he turned to walk back to their car.

Charlie and I walked back into the house, I was fully planning on just putting the rest of the groceries away, cleaning up and getting ready for bed but of course Charlie had other plans.

"Bella, are you sure you're okay?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just school getting to me." I replied. I was somewhat true.

"What about school?" He asked confused.

"Just rumours are starting and I just ... I guess I'm going to have to get use to it." I said quietly.

"What, how do they know? I can't even tell yet. Do you want me to go up to the school to see the principal?" He asked.

"No Dad. It's fine. I just have to ignore it that's all. I'll be fine really please just don't." I begged.

"Ok. If you change your mind let me know. " He said before changing the subject. "So I guess you're definitely not going to the dance then?"

"Dad!" I groaned. "Are we really going to have this conversation again, I mean really?"

"Sorry Bells I just worry about you that's all." He said quietly.

"I know Dad and it's really sweet but for the last time I am not going. I have plans to go to Seattle. " I said quickly.

"Oh Yeah." He muttered. The smiled at me. "So I guess it's good you'll be gone Saturday ... I've kind of made plans to go fishing with some of the guys from the station. The weather is supposed to be good. But you know if you want me to come with you to Seattle I will or we could go another weekend. Maybe if you don't want me to come with you maybe as a friend from school and if they can not go this weekend I can stay home and keep you company. I think I leave you alone too much. I should be around more." He mumbled.

"Dad, stop." I yelled. "You are going a great job really." I smiled, hoping my relief didn't show. He was doing a great job considering his knocked up daughter – even though it happened through rape - with her crazy mood swings had come to live with him, he really was handling it really well.

"You know I've never minded being alone, I am way too much like my Dad that way." I said winking at him.

"Yes well that you are." He said smiling at me. "I would feel better if you had someone go with you."

"Ok well I'll ask around and see, ok?" I said, I didn't want him to worry and I was actually going with someone but I wasn't sure if I should tell him who that person was.

"Ok that would be good. Let me know if anyone goes with you." And with that he went back to the TV.

I quickly cleaned up the mess from dinner, which wasn't much considering I used paper plates. I placed the rest of the groceries away before I said goodnight to Charlie and headed upstairs to have a shower. I showered quickly and changed into my old sweats. I decided to do a little homework, not as much as I had wanted but I did do some. I was too tired to continue so I got up, turned the lights off and got into bed.

I don't know how long it was before I woke up. I had the same dream again. I always dream of James and what he did but lately the dreams started to include Edward. He tried to save me but always got there too late. He and James fought and he always lost. I didn't like it, Edward dying because of James, that freaked me out. I did like Dr Stewart asked me and I thought of Edward. I didn't get as worked up as I normally did and I managed to get back to sleep relatively quickly.

I woke up when my alarm started screeching, I quickly shut it off. I wasn't ready to go to school, I didn't want to go to school. I knew what it was going to be like and I hated it. I knew that Lauren and Jessica were going to spread the rumours around and it wasn't going to be pretty. I was glad that Edward was picking me up again so that we could talk before we got to school.

I got dressed quickly, a pair of jeans and a long sleeved blue shirt. I quickly put my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head. I wasn't in the mood to do anything with it but I didn't want to have it down either. I made it to my doorway before I had that sickly feeling. I ran to the bathroom, threw up into the toilet. So it was going to be another one of those days today. I quickly rinsed my mouth out before heading downstairs.

"Morning Bells. You ok?" He asked quickly.

"Morning. Yeah I'm fine." I said.

"You sure, I heard you throwing up." He said concerned.

"Dad, I'm pregnant and throwing up comes with that. I'm fine. I saw Dr Cullen yesterday." I said reassuringly. Ok well Dr Cullen was concerned about my weight and the fact that I was throwing up a lot but he didn't need to know that. He had enough to worry about without me adding to it.

"Oh yeah and how did that go?" He asked. Of course he would ask.

"Yeah um he took some blood and checked me over. I got a certificate to skip gym. I have another appointment for Monday afternoon." I said quickly.

"Another appointment. Bella you sure everything is ok, he wouldn't ask to see you again if everything was fine." He said even more concerned than before.

"Dad really I am fine. He was just worried about my blood pressure and that. I'm fine." I tried to get him to drop it.

"We will talk about this later. I'm running late. I probably will be home late tonight. So I'll grab something at the diner before I come home so don't wait for me to have dinner." He said quickly before coming over and kissing the top of my head and giving me a hug. That was weird, Charlie never hugs or kisses me like that. I really have him worried and I hate that he is so worried about me.

I quickly put some bread in the toaster and grabbed a sports drink from the fridge. I really hoped that I could keep this down. I didn't butter my bread or put anything on it. I hated eating it this way but Dr Cullen said that it should help me keep my food down. I drank half of my drink and all of my toast and so far so good. I went back upstairs to brush my teeth and grab my bag. I was half way through brushing my teeth before I threw up, so much for helping. I brushed my teeth again trying to get rid of the taste of vomit in my mouth. I made my way downstairs and just as my foot hit the last step there was a knock on the door.

I opened it to find Edward standing there with a worried look on his face. I instantly felt worried. Why did he look like this?

"Edward what's wrong?" I asked.

"Let's talk on the way to school." He said.

"Ok let me just grab my bag." I said as I made my way back to the kitchen. I placed my half empty drink in my bag as well as grabbing a full one from the fridge.

As I walked through the front door Edward took my bag from me and placing his hand in mine. I instantly felt at ease. I quickly shut and locked the front door and followed Edward to his car. Edward opened my door for me and placed my bag at my feet. He walked around the front of the car and got in the drivers side.

"Edward, you're scaring me." I said quietly.

"Oh Bella don't be scared. I just need to talk to you about something." He said.

"When someone says they want to talk about something it is generally bad. I understand if you don't want to go out with me anymore." I said dejectedly.

"What, wait ... Bella no that's not what I want to talk about." He said shocked. "I don't want to break up with you. Where did you get that idea from?"

"I just have a feeling you are going to want to, especially if I the phone call I got last night was any indication of how today is going to be." I said sadly.

"What phone call Bella? Please tell me that Jessica and Lauren didn't call you too." He asked as his hands gripped the steering wheel tighter.

"How do you know it was them?" I asked stunned.

"Well they happened to call my house too, I'm guessing they called yours."

"Yeah I did. What did they say to you?" I asked.

"I didn't speak with them." He said.

"What do you mean you didn't speak to them? How did you know that they called or that I would be upset by what they said?" I asked panic rising in me. Did they say something to his brothers or sisters or worst of all his parents? No they wouldn't be game enough to say something to his parents, I think. They couldn't be that stupid.

"Calm down Bella, it isn't good for the baby." He said soothingly. "They spoke with Alice."

Oh no, so Alice now thinks that her brother knocked me up. This is not happening. I know that Lauren at least would say things to Alice and not care about the consequences.

"Bella, it's ok really. Please love, calm down." He tried to soothe me.

"What did they say to her?" I demanded.

"Bella really you don't need to know all the details." He said looking over to me, the look I was giving him made him reconsider. "Well they went on about how they seen me with you at the hospital yesterday, that you are pregnant with my baby and how you did this to trap me. Just total lies Bella. They are just jealous."

"Oh my god, your sister probably hates me." I sobbed burying my head in my hands.

"Oh Bella she doesn't think that at all. I spoke with her and told her that it wasn't true." He said. I looked up at him then and realised that we were now at school.

"What do you mean you told her it wasn't true?" I asked.

"I didn't tell her anything. I just said what Lauren and Jessica said was not true. I didn't go into any further details than that. Alice knows that I am keeping something from her but she understands that you and I will tell her when we are ready. She is my twin and she knows when to push and went to back off and my answer was enough for her." He stated.

"So she doesn't know about me really being pregnant?" I asked.

"She doesn't know but she knows that I am keeping something from her and she doesn't like it. I really hope that you and I can talk to her because I really think she and the rest of my family will be there for us and help us deal with the rest of the rumours and gossip." He said. "Bella what did they say to you?"

"Basically the same stuff. Edward the whole school is going to know by first period. I don't think I can stand it." I sobbed.

"Oh Bella it is going to be alright. Just don't listen to them. If they know they are getting to you they will keep doing it." He said as he got out of the car.

I bent down to pick up my bag and went to open the car door but Edward beat me to it. He helped me out of the car and gave me a hug. We started walking towards the buildings when his sister, Alice, and his brother, Jasper, walked up to us, well Alice skipped up to us. I was somewhat shocked, I had never spoken to Alice, well besides the incident in the bathroom.

"Hello brother dear. Bella." She said nodded towards me.

"Alice, Jasper." Edward said quickly.

"Hi Alice, Jasper." I said politely.

Jasper just nodded his head politely, acknowledging us.

"So you two are joining us for lunch. No but's Edward. I want to get to know my twin brothers girlfriend." Alice said.

I didn't know what to think, had Edward told them about us. I was shocked to say the least. Jasper just looked at me and smirked.

"Alice I don't know." Edward said.

"Oh no you don't. You can't keep her all to yourself it isn't fair and anyway I know we are just going to be the best of friends. So you might as well embrace it Edward." Then Alice turned to me. "Don't worry about those little bitches Bella. I gave them a piece of my mind yesterday when they called. They shouldn't go spreading hurtful rumours about you and Edward like that. If they give you any problems just let me know."

I just nodded my head. I didn't know how to respond to that. With that Alice and Jasper walked off. I could feel everyone look at me and hear quiet whispers.

"Come on Bella let's get to class." Edward whispered in my ear, I shivered and it wasn't from the cold. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and led me towards my first class. "Bella just ignore everyone. If it gets too much call me."

How could I call him, I didn't even have his number. I wanted to call him last night to talk but I didn't have it.

"I don't have your number." I said quickly.

"Oh yeah right. Hand me your phone." He said as I handed it to him. He quickly put the number in and handed it back. "I was going to call you last night but I wasn't sure if you would want me to call the house number. You know in case Charlie picked up."

"Yeah I wanted to call you too but did have your number either." I whispered. "Do you want my number?" I asked.

"I'll know it is you if you ring. We don't have time now but at lunch I am definitely going to get your number." He said as he leaned down to kiss my cheek.

The morning passed slowly, too slow. I heard the whispers and the pointing. Jessica and Lauren had told people. I was totally devastated. I knew it wouldn't be long before it got back to Charlie and even Edwards parents. We definitely needed to talk about our relationship and telling our parents about us before they all jumped to conclusions, well mainly Edward's mother. I was walking towards my last class before lunch when I overheard Lauren, I could tell it was her from her whiney voice.

"I can not believe Edward slept with her. What the hell does he see in her and now she is having his child. I bet his parents hit the roof." She said.

"Lauren how do you know it is true, did either of them say it was." A girl asked, I didn't know who she was but she obviously wasn't jumping to conclusions.

"Oh come on Nikki, why would he be with her if it wasn't. I mean she is so plain and boring." Laruen sneered.

"Maybe he actually does like her. Just stop with the gossiping it isn't nice. If it isn't true you will be sorry you made up these stupid rumours." She said.

I couldn't take it anymore. I walking towards the nearest girls bathroom and walked in. I couldn't go to my next class. I put some cold water on my face and stared into the mirror. Just then the door opened. I didn't look to see who it was, I wasn't ready for someone else to verbally attack me today especially to my face.

"I thought it was you that came in here." Alice said quietly. "I'm guessing you overheard the girls out there?"

"Yeah I just couldn't handle it anymore." I said honestly.

"I don't blame you. Some girls can be so mean especially when they are jealous. Those girls have had something for my brother since we came here and he never had eyes for any one of them. Then you walk in and he instantly likes you. They hate that he chose you and not them and this is their way of coping. It is stupid I know but they envy you." Alice said.

"Yeah well they shouldn't" I mumbled.

"Oh really now why is that?" Alice asked as she raised her eyebrow at me. " What's wrong with my brother?"

"Oh I don't mean that Alice really, he is great. Amazing even. It's just that things aren't always what they seem." I said.

"Ok we are both skipping class right now. You are going to elaborate on that." She said quickly before pulling me out of the bathroom and heading towards the nearest exit.

"Alice I can't skip class. Where are we going?" I asked.

"Oh yes you can it will be fine and just around the corner. No one will see us here. Sometimes Jasper and I come here to skip class. Don't worry we won't get caught." She said smiling at me.

She dragged me across campus and away from any windows allowing teachers to see us. She pulled off her jacket and sat down on the grass and I followed.

"So Bella, you like my brother don't you?" She said in a way which was more a statement than a question.

"Yes I do, too much." I replied honestly.

"Why do you say that?" She asked looking at me.

"He is just perfect. I am going to bring him down I already am." I admitted.

"Oh my brother is far from perfect trust me. Why are you going to bring him down and how are you already?" She asked confused.

"The rumours he doesn't deserve them, I do but not him." I can't believe I just admitted that. I have no filter around Alice, and it kind of scares me.

"Now why on earth do you deserve them, I do not see how or why." She said sternly.

"I just do. I am going to bring him down and he doesn't care Alice. He still likes me, even after I told him. He should run, hell if I could I would but I like him too much. So he needs to be the one to walk away because I can't even though it would be the right thing to do. I can't walk away and I should. It would be better for him." I yelled.

"Bella what are you talking about?" Alice asked, she and I looked at each other for a few moments and then I could see the realisation of what I was talking about hit her. "Oh my god Bella. Some of that rumour is true isn't it?" She asked shocked.

I knew she was going to hate me and I knew Edward was too, he probably wanted to be the one to tell his sister or at least be here. I didn't know how to stay it.

"I knew he was keeping something from me but he wouldn't tell me." Alice said, more to herself than me. "Bella part of that rumour is true isn't it?" She asked again looking at me.

I just nodded and looked down. I was too ashamed to look at her, she was going to hate me. Hell I know I hated me but I couldn't stay away from her brother and I knew it was wrong.

"You're pregnant." She whispered.

"Yes" I replied.

"But it isn't Edwards." She stated more than asked.

"No it isn't" I replied anyway, even though she knew it was the truth.

"Well wow." She said shocked.

"You hate me." I stated.

She looked at me for a moment, confusion written all over her face.

"No I do not hate you. How can you think that?" She asked.

"I hate me, so you should hate me." I stated.

"Ok first of all. I do not hate you. How could I? You made my brother come back to me. He is the old Edward I know and love. He wouldn't have come back to me if it wasn't for you. Secondly you are a really nice person I can tell. You want to do the right thing even if it would hurt you. Oh and don't even think about leaving my brother I so won't let you. You make him so happy, everyone can see it. Even our parents have noticed a change in him, although he won't tell them why but they are happy to see him happy. Oh and thirdly I get to go baby shopping." She said excitedly bouncing on the spot.

"Um excuse me?" I asked.

"Baby shopping Bella. You know the baby needs things and they have the cutes clothes. Oh please tell me you are having a girl. Do you know yet?" She asked.

"Um no I don't know." I responded.

"Oh ok well are you going to find out? Oh please tell me you are and you have to tell me what you are having before you tell anyone else and that includes Edward. He can sulk all he wants but please tell me first." She rambled.

I was a little shocked so I just nodded my head, which earned a shriek from Alice. She seemed so happy. I couldn't understand it. This family must be on something, I mean how could Edward want to be with me and Alice be happy and encourage the relationship when I was pregnant with someone else's baby.

"Why are you looking like that?" Alice asked.

"I just don't understand." I said.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you so happy? Should you ask who's baby I am carrying or about its father?"

"Well if you want to tell me then I'll listen. I don't want to push you." She stated.

"Oh." Was all I could come up with.

"So do you want to tell me? It is ok if you don't but I guess you guys are going to have to tell my family soon, I mean you are going to start to show soon and everyone will wonder. You could practise on me." She said.

"Yeah I guess. Your Dad already kind of knows. He was my Doctor after the accident with Tyler's van." I stated.

"Oh. Well Dad won't say anything. You are his patient and he can't say anything. Wow so he already knows. You and Edward really need to tell my family soon I bet it is getting to Dad knowing and not being able to say anything to Mom."

"I know and I am sorry but Edward and I only kind of sorted out our relationship a few days ago. I am still waiting for him to run off screaming. It hasn't happened yet though." I said sadly.

Alice started to laugh. "Oh wow you two are as bad as each other. He told me he is waiting for you to run away from him screaming." Alice just shook her head. "So you want to practice on me?"

"Um I guess. You sure you want me to tell you?" I asked. "It isn't nice."

"It's up to you but I will listen."

I nodded. "Um ok well there was this guy back home. He wasn't my boyfriend or anything. He liked me but I didn't like him that way." I said quietly, I looked at Alice and she was biting her lip nervously. "I won't go into any details but he raped me. I only found out I was pregnant when the day of the accident when your Dad told me."

I looked away. I didn't want to see Alice's face. I knew I was crying, I could feel the tears running down my face. Then I was pulled into a hug.

"Oh Bella. That is horrible. I can not believe you had to go through something like that." Alice sobbed as she hugged me tight. "If you ever want to talk I am here for you."

We soon released ourselves when the bell rang. We both silently got up and walked towards the cafeteria.

"Oh Edward will be waiting for me outside of my classroom." I mumbled.

"Don't worry. I just texted him and told him to meet us at the cafeteria." She said smiling at me. "You both are sitting with us, I'm over you both being anti social. We can sit together as a family like we use to."

Alice and I got into the line to wait for our food. Jasper and Edward quickly walked into the cafeteria and started searching for us. I heard Alice laugh from beside me.

"Oh they are hopeless." Alice whispered and I just laughed.

Soon they noticed us waiting in line and walked up to us. Edward put his arm around my waist and Jasper did the same with Alice.

"Alice, Bella." Jasper said in his southern accent. "Edward almost had a heart attack when he couldn't find you Bella."

"Thanks Jasper really was that necessary." Edward said before turning his attention to me. "You ok? I was worried when you weren't in class."

"I'm fine." I assured him.

"Bella and I were just getting to know each other a little better. I found her in the bathroom after she overheard Lauren and Nikki in the hall." Alice stated.

"Alice" I hissed. Did she really need to tell him, it would only make him worry. "Edward please it was nothing."

Edward just looked at me and then he turned to scan the cafeteria. Everyone was pointing and staring. He stopped when he located Lauren.

"Edward please just drop it." I begged.

"Ok fine but if they give you any more trouble I will not hesitate to let Alice and Rose loose on them." I was glad that he dropped it.

"Um Edward." Alice said quietly. "I think maybe this weekend you could bring Bella over for Sunday brunch at home."

"Alice really." Edward said. Alice then looked at me, which in turn made Edward look at me. I was somewhat disappointed, if he didn't want me to meet his parents or go to his place that is fine. "Oh Bella it isn't that. I just ... this is new and I don't want to force you into coming over."

"Edward. The rumours are going around and Dad already obviously knows. How do you want mom to find out." Alice said. Jasper just looked on confused and I felt sorry for him.

"I guess you are right Alice." Edward said with a sigh.

"We don't have to Edward. I mean we could just be friends and that would be fine." I said quickly.

"No Bella it isn't that. I want to be your boyfriend. I just didn't know if you would be ready to tell my family yet." He said reassuringly.

"Bella told me and I was fine with it." Alice jumped in. Edward looked somewhat shocked before turning towards me.

"You told her?" He asked stunned.

"Um yeah I did but not everything in detail but she knows." I stated. "Your Dad knows and it isn't fair that your mother, brothers and sister are left out."

"Ok if you are sure." Edward said effectively dropping the subject.

"Good it is settled. Edward can tell Mom tonight that you are coming. She is going to be so happy." Alice said.

We quickly got our food then and headed towards the table that the other two Cullen siblings were sitting. Emmett looked up and smiled, while Rosalie looked at me and glared.

"Rose." Emmett said effectively making Rosalie look away. "Hey Bella."

"Hi" I said as Edward and I sat down.

"So we get to have the presence of our lovely brother today do we and your beautiful girlfriend." Emmett said.

"Emmett really." Edward warned. Emmett just rolled his eyes and punched his brother's shoulder.

"Oh calm down brother. Bella is fine with it right?" He asked looking at me, I just nodded. "See. Always so uptight my brother."

We ate our lunch in silence for a while. Edward rested his hand in mine on the table.

"So Edward you still headed to Seattle on Saturday, to go shopping?" Jasper asked trying to contain his amusement.

"Yeah that was the plan." Edward said smiling at me.

"You're going to Seattle, willingly to shop?" Alice asked stunned.

"Yes, why is that so hard to believe Alice?" Edward asked.

"Because you hate shopping." Rose retorted, sounding rather bored.

"Well I promised Bella that I would take her." Edward said as if to justify why he was going to go shopping willingly.

"Oh can I come too?" Alice asked bouncing in her chair. "Pretty please."

Edward looked to me for confirmation and I just nodded.

"Yes. I have wanted to go to Seattle for a while to shop. Rose you should come too." Alice said.

"No I'm good. I've got to work on Emmett's car." Rose responded.

"Jasper you should come too." Alice said.

Emmett and Edward just bust out laughing while Jasper looked somewhat disappointed.

"Really Alice, shopping. I hate shopping." Jasper stated.

"Better you than me." Emmett threw in. Jasper just glared at him which in turn made Emmett laugh harder.

"Yeah if I'm going you can come. You and Edward can hang out while Bella and I shop." Alice said.

"Ok fine." Jasper said quickly.

The rest of lunch was filled with quiet conversations. It was somewhat nice to sit there and talk with them. They didn't say anything about the rumours, for which I was thankful. All too soon lunch ended. We all said goodbye and Edward and I left to head towards Biology.

Edward and I walked into biology and every conversation that was happening stopped immediately. I wanted to walk straight back out but Edward had other ideas, he held onto my hand and walked towards our seats.

I honestly do not know what happened in that lesson. We were working on a worksheet, which Edward managed to complete. I was too preoccupied with my notebook. I didn't want to look up to see everyone looking, it was bad enough that I heard some of what was being whispered. Every so often Edward would squeeze my hand reassuringly.

I was glad when class ended. Edward walked me to gym, he told me to text him if it got too much and he would come and save me from gym. Again kissed my cheek before he walked off.

I walked into gym and straight up to Coach Jackson, who was setting up the equipment.

"Bella what can I do for you?" Coach Jackson asked.

"I um have a Doctors Certificate to miss gym." I said quietly. I had only just realised that this would fuel the rumours.

"Ok let me have a look." Coach Jackson said. I quickly pulled it out of my bag and handed it to him. Coach Jackson seemed to read it for a moment before addressing me again. "Ok Bella so it looks like you are out of Gym for a while. I am going to have to make up extra written work for you because you can not complete the physical aspect so to get the credit I'm going to give you essays to do."

"Ok." I replied.

"Today you can stay here and watch. Next lesson I should have some work for you to do and you can work in the library to complete it. Is that fine with you?" Coach Jackson said.

"Yeah that sounds good. Thank you." I said.

"No problem Bella." Coach Jackson said before returning to his setting up.

I went and sat down on one of the benches and watched the lesson. Everyone of course thought that the rumours were true considering that I was skipping gym. I really just wanted to scream out and tell them to all shut up but I knew that it wouldn't do any good.

Class of course dragged on. I really just wanted this day to be over. I was glad when the final bell rang signalling the end of the school day. I walked out of the gym and of course Edward was waiting for me.

"You ok?" He asked concerned.

"I'm fine. You know you ask me that a lot?" I said. "And you know I probably should be the one to ask you that considering the rumour that's going around at the moment."

"I am fine Bella. I am more worried about you than me right now." He said reassuringly.

He took my hand and we walked towards the parking lot. Edward and I got into his car, him of course opening my door for me.

"Are you sure you want me to come over on Sunday." I asked.

"Yes Bella of course I want you to come over. Why wouldn't I?" He asked.

"I don't know it just felt like that you didn't want me to come over." I said.

"No Bella I did. It's just that I didn't know if you would want to or be ready for that." He said quickly. "So you ok with Alice and Jasper coming with us tomorrow?"

"Yeah of course I am. Alice seems nice." I said.

"Yes well that it one way of putting it." He said laughing. "Actually that is a nice way of describing her. That little pixie can get in your face sometimes but she means well. I was thinking. How would you feel about heading out to grab some breakfast before hitting the road?"

"Yeah that sounds good." I said smiling. Having breakfast with Edward, Alice and Jasper would definitely be interesting.

"Ok well we will pick you up at the normal time and head out to the diner for breakfast." He said as we pulled up to my place.

"Ok well I'll see you tomorrow then." I said as I bent down to pick up my bag. I opened my door and started to get out when Edward stopped me.

"Bella." He said.

"Yes Edward." I said turning to face him.

"Can you put your number in my phone? You never know when I might want to call you." He said smiling at me as he held out his phone.

I quickly took it and entered my number into his phone and then handed it back.

"Ok well I'll talk to you later." He said.

"Ok talk to you later." I said as I closed the door and headed towards the house.


	24. Chapter 23: Seattle

**A/N Here is the next chapter. Was hoping to have it done sooner, Sorry but I'm still sick!**

**Hope you like this chapter, some Alice and Bella interaction here! **

**Thanks to **kfoll, bearygirl and TheSpunkRanson **for posting comments means a lot, thanks heaps! **

**So let me know what you all think of this Chapter!**

**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23:<strong> Seattle

It was just after 8pm when Charlie came home, I had already had my dinner, pasta, cleaned up the kitchen and living room. Charlie came in and took a beer from the fridge and sat in front of the flatscreen. I walked into the living room and sat down on the sofa. Charlie looked up when I did this, I normally wouldn't watch sports with Charlie, well willingly.

"What's up Bells?" He asked briefly looking at me before turning his attention to the flatscreen.

"Nothing is up Dad." I stated and he just looked at me completely unconvinced. "Nothing is up but I thought that you might like to know that I'm not going to Seattle alone tomorrow."

This information made him give me one hundred percent of his attention.

"Who are you going with? Who is driving?" He shot off quickly.

I thought the best way to approach this without Charlie asking too many questions was to make out that I was going with Alice. I know it was wrong but I didn't really want to tell Charlie yet, maybe Sunday after I went to the Cullen's house. I still didn't know how Edward's family would really react to us and there was no point telling Charlie if there ended up being nothing to tell.

"Um I'm going with Alice, her boyfriend and her brother. Her brother is driving us. " I stated.

"Alice Cullen?" Charlie asked and I nodded. "Ok I'm glad you are not going alone. Just make sure that brother of hers drives carefully, no speeding or silly business. If anything happens call me at the station."

"Yes Dad. Don't worry everything will be fine but if anything happens I will call you." I promised. Charlie seemed to accept that and went back to his game.

I decided to go up to my room to do some homework because I knew this weekend I wouldn't have the chance to, with going to Seattle tomorrow and to the Cullen's place on Sunday. I didn't do as much homework as I would have liked but I just couldn't concentrate any longer. I decided to get ready for bed, I had a quick shower not brothering to wash my hair, I didn't have the energy to blow dry it. I changed into my comfy sweats and crawled into bed and of course I was now wide awake. I hated when this happened. I sat in my bed and looked around my room, my eyes quickly landed on my copy of Wuthering Heights, I decided that I would read until I fell asleep. I quickly got up to get the book and then crawled back under the blankets. I had read three chapters when my phone started to vibrate on the nightstand. I had no idea who would be calling me this late at night, it definitely wouldn't have been Renee. I reached over to my nightstand and picked it up, Edward. I wonder why he is calling me this late.

"Hello."

"Bella." Edward said.

"Edward, is everything alright?" I asked concerned. I had no idea why he was calling.

"Everything is fine Bella. I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you goodnight."

"Oh." I said stunned.

"That is alright, isn't it?" He asked suddenly unsure.

"Yes of course it is Edward, I was just surprised that's all." I said reassuringly.

"You don't mind that I called you? I didn't know if you would be awake still."

"It is fine Edward. I'm glad you called. I couldn't sleep, I was tired earlier but now I am wide awake."

"That's good, not that you can't sleep but that I didn't wake you." He said quickly. "Ok well I should let you get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Ok. Goodnight Edward."

"Goodnight Bella, Sweet dreams." He said as he hung up the phone.

It was rather sweet that he wanted to say goodnight. After I hung up I decided to try to get to sleep and I didn't have to wait long for sleep to claim me.

I woke up the next morning having had only about 5 hours sleep last night but it felt more like I only got 1 hour. I kept tossing and turning and when I did sleep I had nightmares. I don't know why they were getting worse it was really starting to get to me. I couldn't figure out why or how to stop them, they are nightmares I don't even think it is possible to stop them. I hoped that I wouldn't be tired shopping today, something tells me that Alice loves to shop and will drag me to every shop in the mall.

I quickly got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. I went to the toilet, thankfully I didn't have my head in the toilet bowl – well at the moment but there was still time for that - and quickly brushed my teeth before heading back to my room to get dressed. I pulled out my favourite pair of jeans and a loose red long sleeved shirt. I quickly pulled my jeans on and tried to do the button up but I was having some difficulty, they normally weren't this hard to do up, I mean they were my smallest jeans I had that fitted me a little snugly on a good day. However right now they were too tight, tighter than normal, this so was not happening now. I walked over to my mirror and pulled my shirt up, exposing my stomach. You couldn't really tell I was pregnant but if you looked close enough you could see the beginnings of a bump. It wasn't very visible but I could tell. If anyone actually looked they probably would have thought I was crazy and that I was seeing an invisible bump but I know I wasn't. I didn't notice but there were tears streaming down my face. I didn't know why I was crying. I went and sat on the edge of my bed. I knew that I would start showing soon but I wasn't ready for this. I knew that I was the only one who could tell right now but it still upset me. I loved my favourite pair of jeans and I wouldn't be able to wear them for a while. I don't know if I was crying because of the jeans or the fact that I was getting bigger, even if only I was the one that knew.

I don't know how long I sat on my bed crying but there was a knock on the door. It must have been Edward, Alice and Jasper here to pick me up. I slowly got up and walked down the stairs. All of a sudden I didn't want to go to Seattle anymore, I didn't want to leave the house. I opened the door to see Edward, Alice and Jasper standing there quietly talking but that all stoped when they seen me. I had no idea what I looked like, I was half dressed, wearing my jeans and tattered old bed shirt.

"Bella what is it? What's wrong?" He asked concerned, as he reached out to hug me. Alice and Jasper looked on concern written all over their face.

"They ... don't ... don't fit ... me." I sobbed, hugging him tighter.

"Bella what doesn't fit you? What are you talking about?" He asked confused.

"M-my jeans."

Alice then came up and pulled my gently from Edwards embrace. I looked at Edward and he looked lost and Jasper well he just looked plain confused as to what was going on.

"We'll be back in a few minutes." Alice said quickly. "Come on Bella let's look at your closet."

I lead the way back to my room with Alice following silently behind me. Once we reached my room she went straight into the closet and started looking through my clothes, which were very limited.

"Oh Bella please tell me you have more clothes than this." She said dazed.

"Um there are some clothes in the dresser." I said as I pointed to the dresser.

Alice walked over and opened it looked briefly before turning to me. She didn't look happy.

"Bella you really don't have many clothes. You only really have like 3 pairs of jeans, a few different shirts, a couple of hoodies, and sweats. Bella do you know that you don't have any dresses or skirts?" She said.

"Um well some of my clothes I left in Phoenix because they wouldn't have been suitable and well I didn't really have many clothes anyway." I said looking away. I wasn't one for many clothes, I normally only ever worn jeans and shirts nothing else.

"We'll that is changing today we can get you a few other things. We can get you some clothes that will fit when your bump grows." Alice said distractedly.

"Alice I don't want maternity clothes." I shrieked.

"No Bella we won't get maternity clothes but there are certain types of clothes you can wear that will be comfortable and fit when your bump grows."

Alice went through clothes and picked out some things and handed them to me.

"Try these on and see if they fit." She said quietly as she turned around to let me get dressed.

I pulled the jeans down and replaced them with the ones Alice handed me, I had no problem with the button, and put on the shirt that I originally was going to wear.

"Ok you can turn around now." I said to Alice.

She turned around and walked over to me and taking the jeans from my hand. She studied them for a moment before shaking her head.

"Bella these jeans are a size smaller than the other jeans you have." She stated and I nodded. I knew this. They were my favourite jeans and they were snug on the best day but I had never had an issue with the button. "Why did you put them on if they are smaller than the other pairs you have?"

"Because they are my favourite and I just figured that they would still fit." I said quietly.

"When was the last time you wore them?" She asked.

"I ..." I had no idea when the last time I wore them was. It must have been a while ago. I never wore them to school.

"I thought so." Alice said smugly. "Come on let me do your hair and then we can go downstairs and head out."

I nodded. Alice motioned for me to sit on the floor at the end of the bed as she went to my dresser to collect my brush and some headbands. I sat on the floor as Alice brushed my hair and pulled it up into a high ponytail. Once she was done she helped me stand up.

"I don't suppose you would let me do your makeup?" She asked. I shook my head no. "Oh well it was worth a try. Maybe one day."

I grabbed my handbag from my desk and we both made our way down stairs. We heard the guys talking in the living room, as we walked in Edward came straight over to me.

"Are you ok Bella?" He asked.

"Yeah I'm fine. Sorry."

"Hey it's ok. I'm just glad you are alright." He said as he hugged me. "Ok well we should get going."

We all walked out the door, I paused to close and lock the door before walking towards Edward's car. He opened my door for me and helped me into the car. Alice and Jasper sat in the backseat. We had general chit chat, well mainly Alice talking about all the shops she wanted to visit, as we headed towards the diner.

When we entered the diner a few people stared, they were mainly people from school. I wanted to turn around and walk back out but Edward had his hand on my back and led me towards an empty booth. I slid in first and Edward sat next to me, Alice and Jasper did the same. The waitress came over then, she looked to be about our age maybe a little older, she couldn't keep her eyes of Edward. I fought the urge to roll my eyes at her, obviously it didn't go unnoticed by Alice and Jasper as they both snickered. Edward looked up then and Jasper just waved him off.

"What can I get you?" She asked, well asked Edward.

"Bella, love, what would you like?" he asked as he handed me the menu and took my hand in his on the table.

The waitress didn't look at all pleased when Edward spoke to me or took my hand. I looked the menu over trying to decide what I wanted. Bacon and eggs were not too appealing. Just the very thought of the greasy food made me nauseous. Pancakes.

"Um I'll have the pancakes." I said. "And a chocolate milkshake."

Edward just smiled and nodded.

"Oh I'll have the same." Alice said bouncing in her seat. I couldn't help but laugh at her. "What?" She asked innocently, I just shook my head.

Edward and Jasper both order the big breakfast full of bacon, eggs, sausages and toast and an orange juice. I gave him a weird look. I had no idea how they would manage to eat all of that. It would actually be a miracle if they did.

"What?" He asked confused.

"Nothing." I said.

"If you say so." He said smiling at me.

We talked while we waited for our breakfast. I found out that Jasper liked history, and anything to do with war. It was like you could ask him anything about any of the wars and he would be able to tell you. It was somewhat freaky. Alice well she was a special little pixie. She loved shopping, designing, decorating and everything girlie. She didn't just give everything she did one hundred percent she would go totally overboard. She tried to deny it but when Edward and Jasper ganged up on her she sighed and called defeat. It was interesting to see them all interact and include me in the conversation. They wanted to know things about me but steered clear of anything relating to boyfriends and school for which I was thankful. We talked about my love for books, Alice looked at me like I had two heads but Edward and Jasper joined in and spoke about their favourite books. We spoke about my lack of coordination, they all got a laugh out of that, and the fact that I dislike sports. Edward and Jasper were into sports, they both played baseball for the school and enjoyed other sports as well, Alice was like me she hated sports with a passion. Jasper didn't once ask or acknowledge that he knew I was pregnant. I had wondered if Alice or Edward had told him yet. Not too long later our breakfast arrived. The waitress handed out everyone's meals and eyed Edward a little longer than I would have liked but the funny thing is that Edward didn't even notice.

"I'm so glad I got the pancakes, they are amazing." Alice said between bites.

Jasper and Edward just shook their heads at her and she just shrugged at them. It was weird to see them interact like that without even having to use words, they just knew what each other were thinking. Breakfast was going well that is until my breakfast decided to make a reappearance. I quickly tried to get Edward out of the booth so I could leave to go to the bathroom. He looked shocked at first, I didn't have time for him to figure this out.

"Bathroom." I muttered and realisation hit and he quickly moved out of the way.

I walked as quickly as I could, without drawing attention to myself, to the bathroom at the back of the diner. I walked into one of the stalls and knelt over the toilet bowl. I felt someone behind me and they held my hair out of my face for me, I didn't have time to figure out who it was but I knew it probably was Alice. Once I was finished I rinsed my mouth out and washed my face. I turned and faced Alice, she handed me some breath mints and I thanked her.

"Are you sick like that often?" She asked.

"Yeah it actually seems to be getting worse, every time I eat it is like I through it straight back up. I honestly don't know why my jeans didn't fit this morning considering I can't keep anything down." I said annoyed.

"Well I guess the baby is still growing. Our Dad is your doctor right?" She looked at me for confirmation and I nodded. " Talk to him tomorrow about it. Maybe he can help."

I just nodded. I knew there probably wasn't much he could do, I mean this was normal and apart of being pregnant.

"We should probably head back. They will be wondering where we are." I said.

"Yeah Edward was a little worried about you or I should say extremely worried. You ok now though?" She asked still concerned.

"Yeah I should be fine." I said reassuringly but I don't know how convincing I actually was because Alice gave me a weird look.

We both walked out and of course Edward was worried, you could see it on his face, and Jasper well he was as well which to me seemed weird. He didn't really know me that well but yet he was concerned about me.

"Are you alright Bella?" Edward asked as soon as I was close enough.

"Yeah I'm fine really."

I sat back down and decided against eating. I was really enjoying the milkshake but I wasn't going to risk eating anything else especially with a four hour long drive ahead of us. Edward of course gave me a look, he wasn't happy with the fact that I wasn't going to eat anything else but I thought it would be the safest option. The guys finished their food quickly, and I mean they finished it all surprisingly and they settled the bill. Then we made our way back out to the car and were quickly on our way to Seattle.

During the drive we had general chit chat. They asked me how I was liking Forks and how Forks and Phoenix were completely different. I told them that I was liking Forks more and it wasn't due to the weather, Edward seemed to like that. I asked them more about themselves. I found out the Edward plays the piano and guitar, Jasper is a good cook and has never lost a game of chess ever, that Alice likes to draw and that she has actually made her own clothes before. It was actually fun getting to know them and it felt like we had been friends for years and not just starting to get to know each other, they all made me feel comfortable and I was beginning to see that it was a Cullen trait.

We had been driving for about 2 hours when I started to feel sick again. I took a few deep breaths hoping that it would pass but I wasn't so lucky.

"Edward pull over." I yelled.

Edward looked over at me panicked but recovered quickly and did as I asked. As soon as the car was stationary I opened the door quickly and walked over to the nearest tree and threw up behind it. Edward came and held my hair back and rubbed soothing circles on my back. I turned around and started walking back towards the car, Edward walked with me. I could tell he was concerned. When we made it back to the car, which Alice and Jasper had vacated, Alice handed me a bottle of water. I smiled at her and rinsed my mouth out and again she handed me a breath mint.

"Bella maybe we should head back." Edward said suddenly.

Alice and I both looked at him like he was crazy. I knew heading back wouldn't have made much difference, I was going to be sick regardless of where I was. Edward held up his hands in defeat, he obviously had figured out that it wasn't going to happen.

"We have come this far and I am fine really." I said.

"Bella maybe Edward is right. I just hope it wasn't the pancakes. Alice are you feeling alright?" Jasper asked Alice. She looked stunned for a moment before answering him.

"Yeah I'm ok." She said. "Anyway Bella said she was ok and I say we go and do some shopping."

Edward and Jasper exchanged a look before shrugging and helping us back into the car. The rest of the trip there was uneventful. A few times I did feel like I wanted to be sick but that passed. I was glad that I wasn't sick again because I knew that Edward more than likely would have turned around and headed home.

The closer we got to Seattle the more excited Alice got. I was actually starting to get scared about shopping with Alice. Edward parked the car and we all headed into the mall.

"Ok so what do we want to do first?" Alice asked but then jumped straight into our options. "Ok so we can either all go look at things together, the girls go off and you guys go off shopping or we can do couples. I think we should all look together first, then we separate and Bella and I go look and then couples."

I just looked at Alice in shock. The girl actually was serious and meant business. It was like shopping was some sort of sport that needed a strategy, she was actually scary. I think Edward noticed and squeezed my hand.

"Ok Alice lets all go look together for a while." He said smiling at me.

Alice seemed happy at that. We walked around random stores for a while. I was just looking but Alice well she was purchasing. It was like the little pixie had a quota of what she need to purchase and it didn't matter what it was. It was quiet fascinating to watch Alice shop, she meant business and knew what she wanted. After about ten shops and fifteen bags she decided it was time to split up. Edward and Jasper were volunteered to take Alice's bags back to the car. They both actually looked relieved. I gave Edward a questioning look and he just smiled back.

"Have fun with the pixie now." He said smugly. "Text me if she gets to be too much and I'll come and save you." He added.

"Oh Edward I am not that bad, it's just because you hate shopping. She will be fine and anyway she can tell me when she has had enough, she can talk you know and we will call you."

"Alice I hate to tell you but you are that bad and just remember Alice." Edward said sternly before whispering "She is pregnant remember and probably has nothing in her stomach please don't let her over do it and maybe get something to eat too."

"Edward for the last time I am going to be fine." I said trying to shoo him away. Edward kissed my cheek and walked away with Jasper.

"I think he is taking the whole I am protector a little too far." Alice muttered.

"He is just worried. It is sweet but ..." I said quietly.

"But what Bella? Don't go on about how you are not good enough for him or that you should be with him. He wants to be with you. He loves you. I know it." She said before muttering "But I wonder if you know it."

"Um what ... what did you say?" I asked trying to comprehend what she was saying.

"So you don't know then. I don't know how you wouldn't know." She shook her head. "Bella my brother loves you. You have changed him for the better. He might not have told you the words yet but I can see it and so can Jasper. My brother loves you."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Alice had to be wrong. I mean I know how I feel about Edward but could he possibly feel the same way.

"Bella there is no point trying to analyse it. Just wait for him to tell you, and he will tell you, I know he will." She said smiling at me. "Now come on lets go shopping."

Shopping with Alice was something. There was no real word for it. It was an experience I will say that much. We went to a few clothing stores, ones that I normally wouldn't even go into. I hadn't purchased anything yet and Alice was starting to get annoyed. We were now in the fourth shop and I could tell she was going to say something about my lack of shopping bags.

"Bella come on. You need to buy something. Let me help you." She said sweetly.

I nodded. I needed new clothes but I guess actually purchasing them was going to make it more real, especially purchasing clothes specifically to accommodate my bump. Alice started looking through the racks of clothes muttering to herself. I just followed behind her, not really paying attention to her.

"Ok so, I think you should buy some tights. They are super cute, in fashion right now and well they are stretch material which will be easy and comfortable to wear. They have heaps of different styles here, so we can get a few different types and colours." Alice said as she took a black, brown, red and blue pair of tights off the rack and held them out to me. I took them from her and looked at them. "Do you like them?"

"I don't know about red though Alice." I said hesitantly.

"Oh come on the other colours are tame compared to the red. Just take them you never know." She said trying to convince me. I sighed in defeat, I knew there was no saying no to Alice especially when she is shopping. "Oh good. Now let's look at some shirts." She said as she moved over to the shirts.

I was now at the cash register putting my purchases through. I ended up purchasing the four pairs of tights, a new pair of jeans – they were a larger size than I had already and were stretch jeans, they would at least fit for a little while – five shirts – they were actually nice shirts and would flow very nicely over my bump when it appeared and they would also help hide it for a while too – a dress – which I wasn't happy about but it was a long ankle length one it was nice but I just didn't like dresses. If Alice had her way I would have had double the amount of items but as it was I didn't want to spend all my money on myself. I needed to save it up for the baby because there were a lot of things that I would need and well I didn't want my parents to have to pay for them when it was my baby.

We left that shop and Alice dragged me towards a baby boutique. I didn't know if I was ready to go in there but Alice being Alice insisted – which meant no arguing we were going. I quickly learned when to argue with Alice about something and when to just drop it because there was no way I would win. I have to admit there were some very cute things in there. Alice, well she got so excited and wanted to buy everything in the store that was pink. I quickly put a stop to her purchasing anything, especially anything pink, stating that I didn't even know what I was having. I looked around the store and realised just how much stuff I was going to need for the baby, it was actually quiet scary. Once we left the shop Alice decided that we should meet up with the guys and have a late lunch. I didn't even realise the time. Alice texted Jasper to let them know where to meet us.

As we were making our way down to the food court Alice decided it was time to share a purchase with me. I of course started crying when she showed me. She pulled out a cute little teddy bear and handed it to me. I needed to sit so Alice led me over to a bench and we both sat down looking at the teddy bear.

"I couldn't help myself. It was so cute and it isn't gender specific either." She said shyly. I didn't know it was possible for Alice to be shy. "Oh Bella don't cry please. I'm sorry. I can take it back."

"No Alice. It's ... It's cute. Thank you." I sobbed. It was sweet of her to buy something and I Just wasn't expecting it. "It's the first thing that has been bought for the baby."

"What really?" Alice asked stunned. I just nodded. "Why Bella the baby will be here before you know it. We need to make a list and figure out what you need. We can do that tomorrow when you come over."

"Alice I still have a while to go yet. I'm only just a little over 3 months along." I said quietly. She just nodded her head. Then I heard Edward.

"Bella what's wrong?" He asked as he and Jasper came running up to us. He looked so worried and so did Jasper.

Alice must have hidden the bear because it was no longer in my hands. "She is fine Edward stop over reacting. She isn't going to break." Alice said sternly.

"You sure you are ok?" He whispered into my ear. I just nodded. I didn't trust my voice at the moment.

"Ok let's go eat, I'm starving." Alice announced.

We all got up. Edward of course took my bags for me, and headed towards the food court. We found a table and sat down. The guys volunteered to get us our lunches while we stayed at the table. Alice and I both decided on Subway. I figured a sandwich would be harmless enough, hopefully. The guys walked off to get us our lunch.

"They are such gentlemen aren't they?" Alice said happily.

"Yes they are, it is kind of a little weird. I didn't think that existed anymore." I said honestly.

"I know right but that is our mother and father for you. They taught them well." She said laughing. "However I don't know what happened to my older brother Emmett, it didn't stick as well with him."

"Hey Alice?" I said getting her attention and it worked, she looked at me. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did but go ahead." She said smiling. I just shook my head and smiled back.

"Your parents don't mind that you and Jasper are together? I mean you are almost like brother and sister right?" I asked.

"Oh yeah kinda I guess. Well my parents are both Rosalie and Jasper's guardians. It was written in their parents will that if anything happened to their parents that Rosalie and Jasper be put into the care of my parents. They were all really good friends, they grew up together, well my Dad and their dad did." Alice said quietly. "Our parents obviously know that we are dating and Emmett and Rose as well. They don't mind but there are some rules of course." She said rolling her eyes.

"So they don't mind then?" I asked unsure.

"Well at first it was a shock, we didn't actually tell them we were dating. I don't think that we even knew that we were or what we were when we first started. Our parents knew that we were close but they kind of walked in on Jasper and me kissing." Alice said slightly embarrassed.

I laughed. "Oh wow really."

"Yeah kind of embarrassing. Once they got over the initial shock they were ok. They trust us enough to know that we wouldn't lie to them about our relationship anymore. We tell them everything, well not in detail but they know. It is a little weird knowing that Jasper talks to my Dad about me and probably weird for Dad too but that was one of the rules we needed to talk to them about stuff. Like they let us sleep in the same room sometimes but of course the door has to be open." Alice rolled her eyes at this. "I mean it is a small sacrifice to make but they are trusting us more and more. I guess it is hard considering I'm their daughter. It will be different when I turn eighteen. It is for Emmett and Rosalie, when they turned eighteen our parents were more trusting and let them do almost whatever. They still talk to our parents a lot about their relationship and I know my parents know what they do, oh I so don't want to think of that. I need brain bleach." Alice said shuddering.

"Do you think they will be ok with me and Edward?" I asked.

"I would like to think so. They have noticed that Edward is happy, which is the first time in a very long time that he has been. I know my Dad knows but he hasn't said anything or given any indication that he knows why he is so happy. I think they would be happy for him." Alice said honestly.

"But how will your mother react to me being pregnant?" I asked nervously.

Alice looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking. "I think she will be shocked. I think anyone would be. I think Edwards' happiness would win out over anything. As long as he is happy she will support you guys."

Alice looked like she was about to say more but Edward and Jasper arrived back then with our food. I hesitantly looked at my food. I really hoped that it would stay down.

"You ok Bella?" Edward asked quietly.

"Yeah I'm fine just hoping that I can keep this down." I said honestly.

"I think you should talk to my Dad again tomorrow."

"Yeah maybe."

Edward handed me a bottle of lemonade and smiled. He was really thoughtful. I opened it and took a sip. I decided to eat half of it and save the other half for later. We all started eating and of course Alice asked the guys what they had purchased. Edward said he purchased some new sheet music, a few books and a new digital camera. Jasper purchased a few books, a war video game and mentioned that he needed to buy some new shoes, at this Alice's eyes lit up and Jasper groaned. Edward and I just laughed.

"Yeah have fun with that Jasper." I threw in smiling.

"Yes well hopefully she got all of her shopping out on you."

"I don't think that is possible, Alice is like the energizer bunny on crack. Have fun though." I said trying to hide my amusement. Edward just laughed harder.

"Oh that is a good way to describe Alice." Edward said between his laughter. "Energizer bunny on crack. Oh that is priceless."

"Oh Bella I just realised we didn't get you any new shoes." Alice said pouting.

"Oh no Alice I am fine for shoes really." I said.

Alice muttered something under her breath but I couldn't quite make it out. Not too long later we finished our lunch and went off in our separate directions. Edward gave me a questioning look when I wrapped up half of my lunch and placed it in my bag.

"For later. I want to try to keep this down first." I said reassuringly. He seemed to accept that and we went on our way.

We looked at different shops not really looking for anything in particular. It was nice just walking around with Edward like nothing was wrong. It felt normal. We walked past the same baby boutique that Alice and I went into. Edward stopped out the front of the store, looking at the display window.

"What is wrong Edward?" I asked. I didn't know why we stopped here. Edward didn't answer so I squeezed his hand and that seemed to work.

"Sorry Bella what did you say?" He asked.

"Are you alright?" I repeated.

"Oh yeah I am fine." He said smiling at me but something made me not believe him. He seemed to notice. "Bella nothing is wrong honestly. I just ... " He started before becoming frustrated and running his hand through his hair, "I just, don't take this the wrong way or anything because regardless I still want to be with you, but I just wish that the baby was mine you know." He said as he looked away.

I couldn't believe it. Any normal guy would be glad, well any normal guy his age wouldn't be with someone in my condition full stop. He wanted the baby to be his. I couldn't comprehend this. I deep down wished that he was.

"Bella tell me what you are thinking?" he asked.

"I just don't know what to think. You shouldn't want that, you shouldn't want to be with me. Any normal person wouldn't." I said quietly. "I'm still waiting for you to leave."

"Well I guess I am not normal then." He laughed. "I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to. I can't leave you. I don't want to leave you or the baby. I am here for you both." He said seriously.

I just nodded. I didn't know what to say. He took my hand and we continued walking. Eventually Edward looked at his watch and sighed.

"I think it is time to head back. We have a long drive ahead of us." He said looked at me.

"Ok. So I vote that you tell Alice." I said smiling at him.

He groaned. "Great. You know she wouldn't get upset if you were the one to tell her. Just say you are tired and she won't say anything more. Please?" he asked.

"Oh no. You can endure the wrath of Alice." I said laughing. "Nice try though."

He pulled out his phone and dialled Alice.

"Alice." He said. "Bella is getting tired. It's time to head back." Silence. "Ok we will meet you at the car. Don't be long or I will leave without you." He said as he hung up the phone and returned it to his pocket.

"You wouldn't really leave her here?" I asked.

"Maybe." He said smiling.

We made our way back to the car and he put the bags in the car. We said in the car quietly waiting for Alice and Jasper to come. Edward was holding my hand and rubbing circles on the back on my palm.

"You sure you want to come over tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yeah I am." I replied.

"Ok I was just checking. We don't have to tell them anything about you being pregnant if you don't want to."

"We should. It isn't fair that Alice and your Father know and no one else does. It must be hard for them."

Edward just nodded and accepted that. Not too long later Alice and Jasper returned to the car. Edward and Jasper loaded their purchases into the car and then we hit the road back to Forks. I don't remember the drive, that is probably because I fell asleep.

The next thing I knew I was being shaken away by Edward. I looked around trying to figure out where I was. I was in Edward' car I knew that much.

"We are at your house Bella. We are home." He said.

Realisation hit. I did sleep all the way home.

"Sorry I fell asleep." I said.

"That is ok Bella you were obviously tired." He said smiling at me.

He helped me out the car and we walked towards the back of the car to get my bags. Jasper and Alice were already there sorting out the bags. Alice handed me a few bags. I looked them over. I didn't have this many bags. I looked at Alice and she quickly looked away.

"Alice I don't remember purchasing all this." I said.

"Um maybe because you didn't." She said before quickly adding. " I thought that you could do with a few more things and I knew you wouldn't let me buy them and I knew you wouldn't so I took the initiative and got them for you myself without you knowing. Please just take them."

"Told you she is evil." Edward whispered in my ear.

I just shook my head.

"Ok Alice thank you but don't do it again." I said sternly.

Alice shrieked and hugged me tightly. "Thank you, thank you. See that wasn't so bad."

I said goodbye to Alice and Jasper and told them I would see them tomorrow. This made Alice happy. Edward walked me to the door, carrying my bags for me. I unlocked the door, Charlie wasn't home yet. Edward placed the bags just inside to door for me.

"Thank you for today Edward it was good to get out and be normal." I said.

"No problem Bella, anytime. I'll come by and get you tomorrow at 9am ok or do you want to sleep in a bit? Brunch is at 10.30 so I could come at 10am to get you." He asked.

"No 9am is fine." I said.

"Ok no problem Bella. Can I call you tonight?" He asked.

"Of course." I said smiling. "I'll talk to you later and I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'll talk to you later Bella." He said as he kissed my cheek and he walked down the stairs towards his car.

I walked into the house, I left the bags where they were, I needed to get dinner started. I made myself busy with organising dinner that I didn't hear Charlie come home.

"Hey Bells." Charlie said. 'What's for dinner?"

"Hey dad. I decided to do a casserole. It should be ready in about 30 – 40 minutes." I said.

"Ok no problem. I think I might go shower. I smell of fish." He said quickly as he headed towards the stairs.

I decided to set the table and bring my bags into the living room, I would take them upstairs later. I wasn't ready to go through them yet and see what else Alice had purchased for me. Thirty minutes later Charlie came back down stairs.

"Dinner should be ready in a few more minutes." I said as he took a seat at the table.

"No problem Bells. How was shopping?" he asked.

"Um yeah it was good. Alice really likes to shop, I swear she would have purchased one of everything if she could." I said.

"So you got some things as well then?" He asked.

"Yes Dad I got a few clothes and things."

"That's good so long as you had a good time. It is good that you are making friends and getting out of the house."

I guess there was no time like the present to tell Charlie about tomorrow.

"Yeah. I um ... well I'm going over to the Cullen's house tomorrow." I said hesitantly.

Charlie seemed surprised at first.

"Well that's good Bella. I'm glad you and Alice are friends. All the Cullen kids seem like great kids. Don't have any issues with them. You think that they would cause at least some trouble considering there are five teenagers. I don't hear a peep out of them unlike some of the local kids around here. Dr Cullen and Mrs Cullen have raised good law abiding kids." Charlie said.

"Yeah I guess so." I said. "You don't mind that I am going tomorrow."

"What no of course not Bella. I have to go to work tomorrow anyway so I won't be home most of the day. One of the guys is sick so we split his shift between us."

I hated lying to Charlie but I couldn't tell him the truth yet, not until tomorrow at least. Well I wasn't really lying Alice was the one who did invite me and suggest I come over tomorrow. I quickly cleaned up after dinner and took my bags upstairs to finally go through them.

Once in my room I placed the bags on my bed and went through them one by one. All of the items I purchased were there but there were two extra bags that I didn't purchase. One bag contained panties and bras, I had no idea how Alice knew my size but then again she did go through my dresser, the other bag contained two skirts, two shirts, a cardigan and another dress, it also contained the little teddy bear that Alice had purchased from the baby boutique. I pulled the teddy bear out and sat it on my dresser and I decided to put the rest of my new clothes away.

It took me a little while to put them away. The one thing I did notice was that I didn't purchase any new pyjamas, I was comfortable with my sweats but it would have been nice to have proper pyjamas. I pushed that aside and decided to get ready for bed. I had a shower and this time I washed my hair, I knew I would need to blow dry it and that it would take longer but I needed the distraction. I was worried about tomorrow and how it would go.

Once I was showered, dressed in my sweats and my hair dried, I slipped into bed with Wuthering Heights and decided to read until Edward called. Edward called not long later. It was comforting to her his voice. He reassured me about tomorrow and double checked that I was ok with telling them everything. I told him that I was fine with it and that we shouldn't put it off and he seemed to accept that. We didn't speak for long because I yawned and of course he heard me. We said our goodbyes and I snuggled into bed and went to sleep.


	25. Chapter 24: Sunday Brunch Pt 1

**A/N Ok so here is the next chapter. I hope you like it!**

**Thanks to kfoll & crazy-chick-4life** **for commenting on my last chapter!**

**So you guys are going to hate me for how I end this chapter! Don't hate me, Please :) **

**Oh at the end of the chapter** **there is a way for you all to get the next chapter sooner rather than later!**

**Happy reading!  
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**Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!

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><p><strong>Chapter 24<strong>: Sunday Brunch Pt 1

I awoke Sunday morning early and nervous. I didn't sleep too well either but that had nothing to do with nightmares this time, I was extremely nervous about meeting Edwards family "officially" as boyfriend and girlfriend and honestly it has me a little scared. I'm feeling so many different things, I know I want to be with Edward but what if his parents don't accept our relationship. I mean I would understand if they didn't accept us, what parent would want their seventeen year old son dating someone who is pregnant when it isn't even his kid. Edward has never once shown me that he doesn't want to be with me, he seems so sincere and genuine, how can I not trust him but it might be different once the baby actually comes. I know things are going to change, I'm going to be focused on the baby and I hope that Edward understand what a responsibility that is. I wouldn't be upset or mad at him if he did actually find it too difficult and leave, I wouldn't be happy about it but he needs to do what is right for him. I know I am completely over analysing this but I can't help it, it's what I do. I rolled over and looked at my clock, it was only 7.30am now, I had been awake since about 5am. I figured that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, not that I really wanted to but I needed to do something to take my mind off everything.

I slowly made my way down stairs, Charlie had already left for his shift at the station, he normally didn't work Sundays but since one of his officers was sick they split his shifts. I walked into the kitchen and decided to have some cereal for breakfast. I got my cereal and headed towards the living room, deciding to watch a little TV before getting dressed. There wasn't really much on at this time besides, news or kids cartoons, I decided I'd watch the kids cartoons – might as well get use to watching them because I probably will be watching them when my baby gets old enough to watch TV. That is actually a scary thought; I still couldn't believe that I was having a baby.

I eventually pulled myself away from the TV; I had actually sat there longer than I had originally planned. I washed my bowl and spoon and left them to dry before heading upstairs to my room to get ready. I went to the bathroom first to brush my teeth and wash my face. I was just about to head to my room to pick out some clothes to wear when my breakfast decided to make reappearance; this was seriously starting to bug me. I threw up the contents of my breakfast and then some before bushing my teeth again. This was starting to frustrate me, I mean maybe this wasn't normal, throwing up so much.

I walked back to my room and went through my clothes that Alice and I had purchased. I decided to wear a pair of black tights and a white button up shirt that had a black belt around the middle, it was nice and something that I wouldn't normally wear but Alice assured me that it was cute and she probably would be happy that I was wearing it. However she probably wouldn't be happy to know that I was going to be wearing my converse shoes but they were comfortable and she could just deal with it. I made my way back to the bathroom to try to do something with my hair. It still looked like a birds nest and was pretty knotted from my tossing and turning in bed trying to get to sleep. Eventually I got all the knots out, with a bit of effort and some not so nice words. I figured I'd just pull it up, when my hair was being this difficult there wasn't much else to do with it.

By the time I made it back downstairs it was 8.40am, the TV was still on so I decided to watch some more cartoons until Edward got here. I jumped when I heard a knock on the door and when I looked at the clock I realised that it was 9.05am. Ok so cartoons make you lose track of time. I got up, but a little too quickly as I suddenly felt dizzy and reached out to grab a hold of the side table but I only manage to knock the lamp off the table. It fell to the ground loudly, shattering into pieces. I was just focusing on keeping myself upright that it took me a moment before I heard Edward.

"Bella, Bella are you ok?" he yelled frantically through the door, he was pounding on the door; I swear the door almost came off its hinges.

I took me a moment to understand what was happening. Edward was still pounding on the door and yelling out to me that's when I finally found my voice.

"I'm fine." I yelled. "Doors open."

As soon as I said those words the door flew open and Edward was by my side. He helped me sit down on the lounge and he knelt in front of me.

"Are you ok? What happened? Do I need to call my Dad?" He shot off the questions so fast that I didn't really hear them properly.

I held up my hands."I'm ok really. Just stood up too quickly and I got dizzy. Nothing too serious." I said smiling at him but I honestly don't think he was that convinced. "I went to hold onto the side table to steady myself and I knocked the lamp over. Oh crap that was Charlie's mothers lamp."

"Bella it is just a lamp. I am sure Charlie cares more about you than a lamp." Edward said reassuringly.

"Yeah but it was still his mothers." I said anxiously. "I hope he isn't mad that I broke it." I didn't notice that I was crying until Edward leaned forward and wiped the tears from my face. His hands were so soft and I couldn't help but lean into his touch.

Edward just shook his head. "Bella I swear he will be more grateful that you are fine. I am sure he would prefer the lamp to take the fall than you. Do you have a dust pan and broom? I'll clean it up."

"No it is fine I'll do it." I said but Edward gave me a look that said not to argue with him so I gave up. "In the laundry cupboard."

Edward nodded, kissed me on the cheek and went to find the dust pan and broom. He came back not too long later and cleaned it up, making sure to get all the glass pieces.

"I'll just go put this in the bin outside. I'll be back and don't you think of moving." He said and I just nodded.

Once Edward came back he put the dust pan and broom away. He helped me stand, it was like he was worried that I was going to fall or something, he kept his hand around my waist and helped me to the car. As we headed to his house we talked, I think he knew I was nervous. He kept his hand in mine and would squeeze it every so often.

"Bella don't worry it will be fine." Edward said reassuringly.

I gave him a look like he was crazy, because honestly I think he was or delusional. Yes delusional was very fitting right now.

"Edward really. Do they know about us yet?" I asked.

Edward looked ahead then and wouldn't make eye contact with me. I started to panic, did they know already.

"Calm down Bella. It is ok. Alice told them that and I quote "Edward's girlfriend is coming to brunch tomorrow" Her words. She couldn't wait to tell them, as soon as we walked in the door yesterday she told Mom. Anyone would think that you two were an item the way she is acting." Edward said smiling.

"So they don't know anything else?" I asked.

"No they know nothing else. I thought we could tell them together. Don't worry it will be fine and if they aren't happy about it then I honestly don't care. For once in my life I am happy and I want to stay that way and the only way that is going to happen is to stay with you. Nothing they say or do is going to make me end things with you, well unless you want to but until you do you are stuck with me."

"Edward they are your family. You have to take into consideration their feelings and thoughts on us and if they aren't happy then maybe we shouldn't." I said looking out the window, the thought of not being with Edward hurt but if it was for the best, for him, I would end things. I didn't want to make things difficult with his family. I realised that we were heading out of town, the forest passing us quickly. I had no idea where Edward lived.

"Bella we have been over this. Stop over analysing it, I know you do so don't deny it. No matter what happens today I am not ending things with you. You make me happy." He said sighing. "I don't know how today is going to go but no matter what happens I am going to be there for you as your boyfriend, every step of the way and don't forget that."

"Ok." I said defeated. I just hoped that Edward's family doesn't hate me; I know Alice already knows and doesn't seem to have a problem with it but you never know how everyone else is going to handle the situation.

"Look Bella I know my Dad knows about you and what happened and so does Alice, we will just see how it goes. Please don't worry too much, you don't need the stress. We will have brunch and after we can tell them. It is up to you if you want to tell everyone at once or just talk to my parents." He said hesitantly. "I don't know if you would be comfortable telling everyone at once or just my parents first, it's up to you."

"I don't know. I don't feel like telling it twice. I honestly don't know."

"Ok well we will just see what happens ok but no matter what I am here. Don't forget that." Edward said reassuringly.

We pulled up to his house not too long later, there were large cast iron gates at the front of the property that required Edward to open them by using a button that was clipped to the top of his sun visor. Once the gates were opened Edward drove up a long winding driveway, he parked the car out the front of the garage. The house was beautiful, it was three stories high, white with a large porch that looked like it wrapped around the side of the house. There was, what looked like, a four car garage joined at the side of the house with a large balcony on top. There were full length windows for the majority of the windows. The house was set on a large piece of land with the forest bordering the property. I could hear what sounded like running water in the distance. The house was amazing and I couldn't believe that Edward lived here, now I don't know how much houses are worth; well this isn't a house some much as a freaking mansion, but this looked expensive. I felt somewhat intimidated being here. I mean it was obvious that they came from money and well I didn't, far from it.

Edward opened my door and helped me out of the car. He held my hand as we walked towards the front door, or should I say doors. There were two large white doors with brass handled, which looked rather old.

"You ready Bella?" Edward asked.

I just nodded; I couldn't find my voice right now. Edward opened the door and we went in. If I had been in awe of the outside the inside was just as beautiful if not more so. There was a large staircase leading upstairs, it wound around one wall. Looking straight ahead I could see outside through double doors and to my left there was what looked like a living room and I think I noticed a piano in there as well. The colours were very neutral, whites and beiges, it was very open and bright.

Edward squeezed my hand and led me forward towards the double doors. We rounded a corner which led us towards the dining room and kitchen. The kitchen smelled of freshly baked cookies, it was very homey. The kitchen was enormous, and sat in the middle of the room. It had stainless steel appliances, a large island in the middle and a breakfast bar off to the side, there was a ten seater dining room setting which separated the large kitchen from the enormous full sized windows leading out towards the backyard. Past the dining table was another living area. Behind me was a hall way, more than likely leading out towards the garage. This house, no mansion was amazing. I looked out towards the backyard, if I thought the house was huge the backyard was gigantic, which probably was an understatement. There was a large deck, which housed a large gill and outside setting and think I could see a pool a little further back. I couldn't make out much else in the backyard but there were lots of beautiful flowers and garden beds. I'm amazed that the gardens were so beautiful considering we lived in Forks where we were lucky to get any sunlight to have the flowers grow.

"You ok Bella?" Edward asked suddenly.

I nodded. "Your house is beautiful."

"Yeah that would be my mother's doing. She is an interior designer." He stated.

Just then Alice came bouncing into the room quickly followed by Jasper. She pulled me into an awkward hug, it was awkward because Edward didn't let go of my hand.

"I thought I heard someone come in." Alice said excitedly.

"It's nice to see you too Alice." I said happily.

"Oh so you're wearing your new clothes. Very nice, if I do say so myself." She said admiring her work. "Bella those shoes really."

"Bella. Edward." Jasper said politely.

"Jasper." I said acknowledging him.

"Where are Mom and Dad?" Edward asked.

"Oh they are in Dad's study. They should be down in a minute. They heard you pull up." Alice said still focusing on my footwear, she was pouting.

Edward led me towards the breakfast bar and helped me sit in a stool, he sat on my left and Alice took a seat to my right. Jasper walked into the kitchen and took a cookie off the baking tray. He lifted it to his lips but before he could take a bite he was interrupted.

"Jasper Whitlock Hale you put the cookie down now and step away from the tray."

"But Mom it's just one." Jasper whined.

"I do not care. If you have one then Emmett will want one and Emmett's one and our one are completely different. I do want the others to have some as well." Said Mrs Cullen sternly.

"What is different about me?" Emmett asked as he walked into the room. "Oh and I'm not different but special, aren't I Rosie?"

Edward and Jasper just started laughing and Alice and Mrs Cullen just shook their heads.

"Yeah you are different alright." Rosalie replied absently.

Just then Dr Cullen walked into the Kitchen and wrapped his arms around his wife and kissing her on the cheek while trying to sneak a cookie from the tray, which only resulted in him getting his hand hit and earning him a scowl from his wife.

"Hey Bells. How are ya?" Emmett said coming up behind me and hugging me tightly.

"Emmett be careful." Edward said worriedly glaring at his brother.

"Oh I'm not going to break her." Emmett said as he rolled his eyes and ruffled Edward's hair.

"Emmett." Edward warned.

"I didn't hurt you did I Bells." Emmett said looking at me concerned.

"No I'm fine Emmett. No damage done at all." I said reassuringly.

"See." Emmett said towards Edward. "Over-reaction I say."

"Hello Bella. It is good to see you again." Dr Cullen said.

"It's good to see you to Dr Cullen." I said nervously. Edward squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"Bella, please call me Carlisle." He said smiling at me.

I nodded in acknowledgment.

"Oh um Mom this is my girlfriend Bella. Bella this is my mom Esme." Edward said nervously introducing me to his mother. Carlisle raised his eyebrow, probably shocked that we were actually an item or maybe that we were announcing it, but he quickly replaced it with a smile.

"Bella it is good to finally meet you. Edward has been so happy lately and it is good to finally be able to see the person responsible for his happiness." Esme said coming over and giving me a hug.

"It's good to finally meet you too Esme." I said nervously. I had a feeling that she was going to change her mind later today though.

"Ok kids why don't you go and keep yourself occupied for half an hour while I finish up in the kitchen. I'll call you when brunch is ready." Esme said as she started to busy herself in the kitchen.

Emmett finally laid eyed on the cookies and his eyes widened, he tried to take one but before he could reach out and grasp one he was stopped.

"Emmett Carlisle Cullen if you so much as touch one of those cookies you will go without sweets for the rest of the week and I do mean that." Esme warned. I was amazed that she knew what he was doing seen as how her back was turned. Everyone else just started laughing, including Carlisle who started ushering Emmett out of the kitchen. Emmett started muttering about how it wasn't fair and he was going to starve, which only made everyone else laugh harder.

All six of us headed towards the hallway I seen earlier. There were two doors we went through the door on the left, so I am assuming the door on the right was the door leading towards the garage. The room we walked into was rather large. There was the largest flatscreen TV I had ever seen on the farthest side of the room, mounted on the wall, with an L shaped sofa in front of it with three large red bean bags off to one side. There were three long waist high bookcases that housed what looked like hundreds of DVDs off to the right wall. There was a large pool table in the middle of the room. Two large red shaggy rugs that covered almost all of the white carpet, and there were black curtains all around the room. There were also what looked like speakers mounted at various points on the wall. It looked like this room was specifically designed for the kids as some sort of games room.

"Ok so who is up for a game of pool?" Emmett said excitedly. "We should play couples. Rosie and Me versus one of you other couples, you guys can fight it out between yourselves as to who plays us. Hey least Eddie won't be the odd one out anymore. Oh and winners play on."

"Bella do you want to play or watch first?" Edward asked.

"Um watch first. I've never played before." I said hesitantly.

"That's ok I'll help you." Edward whispered before informing Jasper and Alice that they can go first. Edward walked over to the bean bags and picked one up and carried it over to where I was standing against the wall watching Emmett and Jasper try to psych each other out.

"Do you want something to drink Bella?" Edward asked.

"Um yeah sure thanks."

"Get us one too Eddie." Emmett said quickly.

"Yeah sure Emmett because it is so hard for you to walk 2 steps to get one." Edward said rolling his eyes.

Edward walked over towards a cupboard that was next to the door and opened it to reveal a small fridge. He pulled out three drinks, threw one drink to Emmett and came and sat down on the bean bag. He motioned for me to sit down in front of him. I looked at him hesitantly not sure what I should do. I hadn't been this close to Edward before, well besides the day he saved me from Tyler's van but this was different, we were now boyfriend/girlfriend.

"It's fine Bella. Come on." He encouraged me, smiling, as he tugged on my hand.

I slowly eased myself down on the bean bag and leaned back on Edward's chest. It felt comfortable to sit here with him and I felt safe. It didn't feel weird or uncomfortable like I thought it would be. Edward handed me a can of sprite. We sat there watching Emmett and Jasper get really into the game, while the girls were looking at them like they were crazy. Jasper and Emmett were trying to put the other off but didn't dare try it when it was the girls turn.

"Are they always like this?" I whispered to Edward.

"Yes they are normally worse. They are actually behaving relatively well today, nothing is broken yet so that's good. I think Alice scared them." He whispered back.

"I did not." Alice yelled at Edward, giving him the evil eye.

Rosalie and Edward just laughed. While Alice started muttering something to herself, Jasper just walked up and draped his arm around her and kissed her cheek, which made her happy. Edward took my finished soda and placed it on the small table beside us. Throughout the game Edward placed kisses on my temple and cheek, while we watched the game progress. It was nice that he did that. He didn't and hadn't yet tried to kiss me on my lips and I think that he was waiting for me to initiate that. He was very much a gentleman and was taking things slow. I hated that he seemed to be so careful around me but it was sweet. I know we hadn't talked about our relationship in detail or all the details of what happened to me or where that left us in the physical side of our relationship, I honestly don't know when I'd be ready for that or if I ever would. I hated that I was so damaged. It wasn't fair on Edward. The one thing about Edward that I really loved, wow yeah I know love, is the fact that he doesn't push me. He doesn't push me for information, he doesn't push for us to move faster – I know we haven't really been dating long but he hasn't once made me feel uncomfortable, and he always checks to make sure I am alright. I really wish that I had moved to Forks before anything happened to me and I wouldn't be so afraid of everything, because the truth is that I am afraid of everything, I know on some level that it is stupid to be afraid of everything but I can't help it. I am working o n it in my sessions with Dr Stewart but I don't think I'll ever not be afraid, I know deep down that the fear will always be there.

I turned my attention back to the game. I had no idea who was winning but I was starting to understand the game, I think. It was nice and felt right sitting here with Edward. Eventually Edward put his arms around me and rested them on my stomach. I jumped a little when he did this, I wasn't expecting it. I still wasn't happy with my little discovery yesterday, it made it more real. Edward quickly removed his hands from my stomach.

"Bella I'm sorry are you ok? What did I do? I won't do it again." He said panicked. Alice seemed to notice that something was wrong and so did Jasper but Emmett and Rosalie were oblivious. Alice looked concerned but Jasper just looked confused. He had no idea why I was freaking out; he probably thought I was crazy or something.

"Um no I'm fine, sorry. I just wasn't expecting you to put your hands there." I said quietly.

"Oh sorry Bella. I won't do it again." He said dejectedly.

"No it's fine Edward." I said taking his hands and putting them back. I felt bad for making him feel bad. It wasn't his fault. He was my boyfriend and should feel comfortable having his arms around me like that, it was innocent enough.

"Bella I don't want to make you uncomfortable." He said quietly.

"It's fine really. I just ..."

"You just what Bella?" He asked concerned.

"I'm ... I'm starting to get fat." I said quietly turning my head and burying it in his shoulder.

"Oh Bella." He said soothingly. "I honestly don't know what the right thing to say here is."

"I guess there is nothing to say really. I knew it was going to happen eventually. It just makes it more real. I'm getting fat there is no way around it." I said angrily. "People are going to find out for real soon. I hate that. You're not going to want to look at me soon. I'll be a whale." I said as a tear slid down my cheek.

Jasper seemed to notice then that I was crying and gave a questioning look towards us but Edward just waved him off. Jasper then quickly diverted Emmett and Rosalie's attention so that they wouldn't notice my little breakdown.

"Bella that's not true, you aren't going to be a whale. You're pregnant. I can't even tell that you are showing yet, I couldn't even feel a bump. I'm going to still want to look at you, hug you and kiss you no matter what." He said reassuringly as he kissed my cheek again.

"You don't know that." I retorted. I was actually angry and that scared me. Stupid emotions.

Edward signed and rubbed circles on my stomach. It actually felt nice. I put my hands on top of his.

"Bella I'm here for you. No matter what, just know that I am always here." He said quietly.

All of a sudden Emmett started yelling and jumping around which in turn made me jump. Jasper and Alice were shaking their heads. I had no idea what was going on.

"They won." Jasper said filling us in.

"That's right we won." Emmett boomed as he started to sing and do what I could only assume was a victory dance.

A few moments later Carlisle walked into the room, surveying us. He gave a questioning look towards Edward and I. I didn't know what to make of it, Edward just squeezed my hand. I really didn't know what to make of that either.

"What is all the noise?" He asked.

"Emmett just likes to make sure the whole town knows he won." Edward said.

"Well I did win." Emmett said smugly still doing his victory dance.

"Ok well Emmett as much as I am happy for you the whole town doesn't need to hear it." He said as he backed out the room closing the door behind him.

"Parents what you can do." Emmett said shaking his head. "They have no appreciation for my mad pool playing skills."

Everyone started to laugh, myself included as even I found that funny. Emmett just seemed like a big teddy bear, the goofy big brother type and let me tell you he is huge and would scare anyone. I definitely wouldn't want to get on his bad side.

"Alright well looks like Rosie and I take on Eddie and Bells. You ready to get your butt kicked Bells?" He asked while trying to spin the pool cue around in his hand.

"Well considering I've never played there is probably a high chance of that happening. Sorry Edward."

"You'll do good Bella. Don't worry. I'll help you." Edward said reassuringly.

I started to try to get up but I was stuck in this bean bag with Edward, we both kept sinking. I didn't want to lean on him to get out. Jasper seemed to notice and came over to help me up. I thanked him as we traded placed. I wasn't sure how this was going to go, I had never played before but I was willing to try at least.

Emmett decided that we should break, for a moment I had no idea what that meant until Edward told me. He offered to do that for which I was grateful because I don't think that I would have been any good at it. Edward actually managed to sink a ball and I was very impressed. Edward managed to sink two more balls before he missed. Emmett made some comment about Edward being a show off and the he was trying to impress me which only made Edward wack Emmett in the back of the head. Edward came to stand behind me and put his arms around my waist while Emmett took his turn, he managed to sink three balls before he missed. Now it was my turn. Edward showed me how to hold the pool cue and aim it. He stood behind me and helped. Emmett tried to protest but he was out voted, they all agreed that I needed help because I had never played before and of course Emmett sulked like a little girl until Rosalie came and gave him a kiss. I managed to sink one of our balls but then straight after I sunk the white ball which I found out was a bad thing. We each took turns and finally we each had one ball left and the black ball, which I found out you sunk last once all your balls had been sunk. It was my turn and I wasn't looking forward to this. Edward encouraged me to try myself with no help from him, which actually turned out to be a bad idea. I ended up sinking the wrong ball, I didn't mean to but the white ball ricocheted off the ball I was aiming for and sunk their ball instead. This only made Emmett happy. He started to dance around as if he already won. However Rosalie took her shot and of course sunk the black ball meaning that they did actually win.

"Sorry Edward." I said. He just squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek.

"It's ok Bella, it's just a game and you did really well for your first time playing." Edward said encouragingly.

Someone cleared their throat and we looked over towards the door and there was Carlisle and Esme standing in the doorway watching us. Esme looked so happy watching us, it was clear as day that she was.

"Sorry to break up the fun but the food is ready." Esme said.

That was all the encouragement that Emmett needed. He was off in a flash. That boy loved his food and I imagined that it cost a small fortune to feed him too. Everyone walked out of the room; Edward and I were the last ones to leave as well as Carlisle.

"Edward, Bella."

"What is it Dad?" Edward asked, he sounded somewhat annoyed.

"Edward." Carlisle warned. "I'm glad to see you two happy but I hope that you tell your mother and your brothers and sisters everything today. I hate keeping things from them, especially your mother. Now I won't tell them, you know that but please say something today. I'm here if you need me to help you or if you want any support in telling them."

He didn't let on how he felt about us and that made me even more nervous. It would have been easier if he had indicated how he felt about Edward and I being together.

"Yeah Dad we are telling them today. Just don't know when or how yet." Edward said.

I didn't know what to say. Carlisle looked at us a moment before nodding.

"Ok then. We should probably go. Everyone will be wondering where we are." He said as he started to walk away.

"It's ok Bella. If you don't feel like saying something today then we don't have to." Edward said reassuringly.

"We should, it will only get harder if we don't." I said sadly. It was inevitable that people would find out and it was better they found out from us.

Edward and I made our way outside to the deck. Esme had everything set up near a bunch of outdoor lounges. There were four large cane lounges with white cushions the lounges were arranged around a large square coffee table which was decorated with an arrangement of different foods. Esme must love her Sunday brunch because she made enough food for probably 15 people, however I have a feeling that the food wouldn't go to waste with Emmett around. There were cute little tiered stands that housed the different foods on the table. There were about four different types of adorable little sandwiches cut into tiny triangles, Croissants, banana muffins and apple and cinnamon muffins, scones with jam and cream, there were different types of little Quiches – bacon and cheese, spinach and cheese, and tomato and mushroom - devilled eggs, there were little fruit salad cups with cream and also what looked like homemade bread with different types of spreads that also looked homemade. There were also some sweets different types of cupcakes, cookies, and slices. Esme must love cooking because all of this looked home made. It was amazing how much time she must of spend making all of this.

Edward led me towards the lounges and we sat down, he kept his hand in mine the whole time rubbing circles on the back. Alice and Jasper walked out then both each carrying a pitcher of what looked like two different types of smoothies. They placed them down on a table off to the side that I didn't see earlier, the table had plates, cups and cutlery. Once they placed them down they came and sat on the lounge to my right. Rosalie walked in and sat on the lounge that was closest to Edward.

"Mom kind of went a little over board with everything when she heard that you were coming. It normally isn't this bad." Alice stated.

"Oh wow really. She didn't need to do that." I replied.

"Oh don't worry she loved it, and Rose and I helped her anyway. She loves baking and finds any excuse for it and plus we aren't complaining." She said laughing.

Just then Emmett came in following Esme and Carlisle closely, who were carrying what looked like waffles and pancakes.

"Emmett don't drool on the food please, we do want some too." Jasper yelled.

Emmett took a seat next to Rosalie and glared at Jasper who just laughed back at him. Carlisle and Esme placed them on the table and took a seat opposite us. Esme looked so happy.

"I'm so glad you are here today Bella. Ok well dig in and boys." She said looking from one son to another. "Ladies first."

Emmett just groaned but didn't say anything but he did look a little upset over it. Alice and Rosalie got up to get their food.

"Bella what would you like to drink? There is fresh Banana or Strawberry smoothies, fresh orange juice or water." He whispered.

"Um I'll have a strawberry smoothie."I said.

"Ok I'll get it for you." Edward stated as he started to get up, I reached out and grabbed his arm.

"It's ok Edward I can get it." I said quickly.

"It's ok Bella." He said as he walked off.

"Hey where is Edward going, last I knew he wasn't a chick, even though acts it sometimes." Emmett said annoyed.

"I'm getting Bella a drink. She is a guest here Emmett."

"Great start acting like a freaking gentleman why don't you and make me look bad." He muttered.

Edward returned quickly and placed my glass down in front of me as well as one for himself. Emmett noticed and of course glared at his brother but didn't say anything. Edward handed me a plate and I placed a bacon and cheese quiche and a banana muffin on it. Edward gave me a questioning look.

"Bella please tell me you are going to eat more than that?" He whispered into my ear.

"I'll try but I want to make sure I can keep this down." I whispered back. Edward kissed my temple and seemed to accept that. I noticed that Esme noticed our interaction and if it were possible her smile grew even bigger.

"Stop whispering and making out over there." Emmett yelled through a mouth full of food. "I'm eating here." He said as he pointed to his plate full of food.

"Emmett stop it." Esme scolded him shaking her head. "And don't talk with your mouth full, I taught you better than that."

We started to eat brunch and had general conversation. It was nice to sit there with the Cullen's. You could tell they cared deeply about each other. I didn't really eat much of my quiche or muffin as I was starting to get that queasy feeling. Edward noticed that I wasn't eating much but didn't say anything, I think he wanted to but couldn't do it without someone noticing. Esme seemed interested in me and asked general questions like, why did I move here, my favourite things to do, what I was interested in, how I was liking Forks. I answered her as honestly as I could. I told her that I moved to be closer to Charlie and that my Mother was travelling too much as I didn't get to see her and I knew she was feeling guilty about leaving me alone sometimes. It was part of the truth; I could tell Edward knew it was hard for me to talk about things like that as he kept squeezing my hand reassuringly. I told her about my liking for books, my favourite ones and what I liked to do in my spare time. I told her that Forks was growing on me and that I was getting use to the weather. She agreed that the weather did take some getting use to. I also found out the we both liked some of the same books which was nice.

I took another slip of my Strawberry smoothie and that was it. I knew it wasn't going to stay down. I placed my hand over my mouth discreetly. I had no idea where their bathroom was. Somehow Alice seemed to notice that something was wrong.

"Come on Bella I want to show you something." Alice said quickly and she took my hand and pulled me up.

"Alice really can it not wait?" Edward asked clearly annoyed.

"Alice sweetheart, can you not wait until after brunch to show Bella?" Esme asked.

"No it can not Edward." Alice whispered sternly to her brother. "No Mom and it will only take a minute." She said sweetly to her Mother.

And with that Alice walked me quickly into the house and led me back towards the front door. Next to the front door there was a small room, Alice led me into the room, it had a sink and when you turned there was a toilet. Alice smiled at me. I wanted to thank her but right now I needed to throw up. I walked towards the toilet and Alice must have followed me because I heard the door close. I leaned down and threw up into the toilet bowl, while Alice held my hair out of my face.

Once I was done I stood up, opened the toilet door and we both walked out towards the sink so I could rinse my mouth out. When I looked up into the mirror I could see Edward standing behind me, he looked worried.

"Bella are you ok?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine now." I said but honestly I still felt nauseous.

"Ok well let me know if you don't feel well or if you need to throw up again." He said.

"Ok I will." I said.

"Did anyone say anything when we left?" Alice asked.

I was actually worried that they might think something was wrong. I looked at Edward then waiting for his answer.

"No they didn't, Emmett didn't even notice, Rosalie is too self absorbed to care, Mom I could tell thought something was wrong and Dad well he looked concerned. Jasper well I think he is just confused. " He said rubbing my arm.

We all walked back outside and took our seats. Esme and Carlisle both looked concerned, Carlisle more so.

"Is everything alright?" Esme asked.

"Yeah Mom everything is fine." Alice assured her mother.

The rest of brunch went on, however I decided to not eat or drink anything else. I didn't want to risk it again, even though I was starving. Edward looked worried and both his parents noticed. Once everyone was finished everyone started cleaning up.

"Ok girls you don't have to help." Esme said and to that Emmett groaned. "Emmett don't start. Alice and Rosalie helped with the baking and well Bella is our guest here. So you boys can help clean up."

Rosalie took that as her cue to leave. Alice took my hand led me inside, much to Edwards disappointment. She took me back to the room we were in previously playing pool. She pulled me towards the sofa and sat down pulling me down next to her. She turned to face me then.

"You're telling them today." She stated.

"How did you know that?" I asked stunned.

"Oh come on Bella. It isn't hard to see that you two are nervous and well no one else would really know why, they would just think that it was because you were nervous telling everyone about your relationship. You shouldn't worry Bella everything will be fine, I just know it."

"Alice how do you know that?" I asked. "You don't know everything will be ok. No one knows that. Your parents are probably going to hate me."

"Oh Bella calm down." Alice said soothingly. "Everything will be fine. I mean you would have to be blind and stupid to not realise how happy you and Edward are."

I just nodded. I guess there wasn't anything we could do about it. What is going to happen is going to happen. I guess there was no point worrying about it until it happens. Alice and I started to talk about random things, well Alice mainly talked. She could go a mile a minute; it was somewhat hard to keep up. Eventually Edward and Jasper came into the room and sat down next to us. Edward draped his arm around me and pulled me back against his chest. We sat there talking for a while before Edward thought it was time to tell them.

"Bella. We should tell them now." Edward whispered in my ear.

"I guess you're right." I said while I played with Edward's fingers.

"Tell us what?" Jasper asked curiously.

"Jasper let's go and get everyone. We'll meet you in the living room." Alice said quickly as she pulled Jasper out the room.

"Come on Bella. Let's get this over with." Edward said and he helped me up off the sofa. I grabbed hold of his arm, quickly. "Bella what's wrong?"

"Just a little dizzy. I'm fine though." I said quickly.

"We are talking to my Dad about that later. No but's Bella." He said sternly.

I just nodded as Edward led me towards the living room. Edward and I sat down on the L shaped sofa; he put his arm around me pulling me towards him and kissed my forehead.

"It'll be ok Bella, you'll see." He whispered encouragingly.

Soon Alice and Jasper came into the room and sat down, Alice sat down next to me and Jasper sat next to her, he looked thoroughly confused but concerned at the same time. Not long later Rosalie and Emmett wandered in and sat down next to Jasper on the sofa. Emmett looked interested but confused while Rosalie looked bored and found her nails more interesting. Then Esme and Carlisle came in. They took a seat of the sofa directly in front of us. Carlisle I assume was trying to look neutral but he did keep throwing nervous glances at Edward. Esme looked nervous and concerned, and kept looking between all of us trying to figure out what was wrong. She soon only started looking between Alice and Jasper and Edward and I, probably figuring out that Emmett and Rosalie had no part in what everyone was called here for.

"Ok can we get on with it?" Emmett asked frustrated. "Why are we here?"

Edward and Alice threw him a glance, which I am assuming made him shut up quickly. Esme just sat there stunned.

"Emmett, please." Carlisle said calmly.

"Can someone please tell me why we are here? Which one of my children asked us all here to talk." Esme asked quietly sounding somewhat worried. "I am starting to jump to conclusions." Esme was holding onto Carlisle hand rather tightly and he place free his arm around her reassuringly.

Edward looked at me, kissed the top of my head and the addressed his family.

"Bella and I have asked you all here to talk." He said calmly.

Alice reached over and took my hand gently squeezing it. It was somewhat comforting to know she already knew and was here for me. Jasper and Emmett suddenly stopped leaning against the back of the sofa and leaned forward resting their hands on their knees, they were now interested. Rosalie looked up briefly and smirked at us. I had no idea what she was imagining we were going to say, she probably jumped to conclusions. I have no doubt in my mind she was probably thinking of the rumours at school.

Esme leaned forward before speaking. "Ok Edward, Bella please don't keep us in the dark any longer. Edward what is it you have to tell us."

"We have something to tell you but I please ask you all to wait until we are finished before you say anything. I don't want you to jump to conclusions so please let us finish before jumping in." He said nervously.

Both Esme and Carlisle nodded in agreement.

"Yeah sure no problem bro I can do that." Emmett said, he had suddenly realised that the situation was somewhat serious and all his joking was now gone.

"Of course." Was all Jasper said.

"Rosalie?" Edward addressed his sister.

She looked up and smirked again and suddenly I didn't feel so good.

"Oh what you are just going to tell us that goody goody Edwards finally fucked up and that you knocked your girlfriend up. Edward the whole town already knows. So it is old news. I'm surprised that Esme and Carlisle don't already know." Rosalie sneered.

I couldn't believe that she said that. All of a sudden it was like everything slowed down. This is what I didn't want to happen, people jump to conclusions. I didn't want to tell his family like this. They probably think that the baby is his, well except Carlisle and Alice of course. All I noticed was Emmett went pale, Jasper was quiet, Esme started shrieking and broke down in tears while shaking her head. Alice was screaming at Rosalie, what she was saying I have no idea. Edward jumped up and started screaming at Rosalie as well. I was worried that he was going to hurt her, he looked livid.

"How dare you, you bitch." Edward sneered and he lunged towards her.

Jasper and Emmett quickly went on the defence. Jasper grabbed Edward to stop him from getting to Rosalie while Emmett stood in front of her. Carlisle was trying to comfort Esme, she was hysterical, tears streaming down her face. Alice got up and was now in Rosalie's face screaming at her.

"Alright stop this now." Carlisle yelled sternly.

Edward was still squirming in Jaspers arms trying to break free, he was having some trouble holding onto him. They were all still yelling. I just need to get out of there. This isn't how I wanted this to happen. They all probably hate me. I'm ruining their family. I slowly got up and walked out of the room undetected as Edward was too busy trying to kill Rosalie and everyone else well they were all too worried about Edward trying to kill Rosalie to notice me leaving. I just needed to go. I wish that I had my truck here so I could go home. I just wanted to be in my bed and never leave there again. I walked out towards the foyer. I was having trouble breathing and everything was blurry. I think I faintly heard someone ask where I was and someone scream before everything went black.

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><p><strong>AN Ok so I'm guessing you wanna know what happens next, am I right? And I will post it sooner rather than later and this is how it will happen! (The next chapter is already done!)  
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**If I get 9 or less reviews/comments from people I will NOT post the next chapter for 2 weeks!**

**If I get at least 10 reviews/comments from people I will post in a week!**

**If I get at least 20 reviews/comments from people I will post as soon as possible after the 20th one is posted!**

**So it is up to you guys as to when I post it!**


	26. Chapter 25: Sunday Brunch Pt 2

****A/N Ok so here is the next chapter! I hope you all like it!****

****I hope to update the same time next week but I'm not 100% sure that I will have the next chapter done by then! I generally write of a weekend but this weekend is my younger Brother's girlfriends 21st so I may be in no condition to actually write! So sorry in advance if i don't but i will try!****

****Thanks to everyone who posted a comment/review. So let me know what you all think of this next chapter!  
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****Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 25:<strong> Sunday Brunch with the Cullen's Pt 2.

I started to hear voices, they sounded so far away. I couldn't make out what they were saying. I tried to focus but it was hard. My eyes felt so heavy and I couldn't open them. I felt someone press on my head but I didn't have the energy to respond even though it hurt. I tried to focus better.

"Dad why isn't she waking up?... Is she ok?" I heard Edward sob.

"Son, calm down. She will wake up when she is ready. I don't think her head injury is serious. Just a bump but it will probably be sore, maybe even a mild concussion." Carlisle responded while he kept checking me over, I could feel his hands on my face still.

The yelling had died down and everyone was now quiet, probably shocked about what had happened. I had no idea how long I had been out for. I wonder if Edward had told them the truth yet or if they still think that Edward is the father. Soon enough I felt Edward. The cushion dipped down beside me and I felt Edward kiss my forehead and squeeze my hand.

"Please Bella just wake up. I'm so worried about you." He sobbed. "I just want to see those beautiful brown eyes. Please just open your eyes."

I don't know how much time passed but I was able to squeeze Edwards hand back.

"Dad." Edward yelled.

"What son." Carlisle said panicked.

"She squeezed my hand." Edward exclaimed.

Then Edward was gone. Someone took my wrist and applied some pressure.

"Pulse is good. Bella open your eyes for me." Carlisle said.

Someone was now running their hands over my hair.

"Come on love open your eyes for me." Edward said from somewhere behind me.

Finally I was able to open my eyes, with some squinting. The room was bright. I closed my eyes again because it hurt too much.

"Jasper Alice shut the curtains." Carlisle said quickly and it suddenly got a little darker. "There Bella shouldn't be so bad now. Try to open your eyes again."

I opened my eyes again, blinking quickly a few times and it wasn't so bad. I slowly turned my head trying to find Edward. I couldn't see him but I saw Esme on the sofa, still crying. Alice was crying too. Jasper was standing off to the side looking worried while trying to comfort Alice. I noticed that I couldn't see Edward, Emmett or Rosalie. I started to panic. Where was Edward?

"Bella it's ok I'm here." Edward said soothingly from behind me again.

I tried to lift my head up to look at him but the movement hurt and I winced.

"Careful Bella. Your head is going to be a bit sore for a while." Carlisle said as he picked up something from the table. "I want you to follow my finger Bella."

I did as I was asked, while Carlisle shone a bright light in my eyes I followed his fingers.

"Good Bella." He said. "How are you feeling?"

I tried to sit up but everything suddenly was spinning. Carlisle and Edward both gabbed a hold of me.

"Careful Bella." Carlisle warned.

Edward jumped over the lounge and helped me sit up. He sat down behind me and pulled me against his chest.

"I was so worried Bella. I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear sounding so sad.

"Edward." I said hoarsely. "I'm ok, it's not your fault."

He just buried his face in the crook of my neck and I felt his tears run down my neck. I kissed the top of his head trying to reassure him that I was ok.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Bella how are you feeling?" He asked.

Edward lifted his head up, he was obviously interested in the answer.

"I'm ok I guess. My head hurts a bit, I feel tired." I said honestly.

"Your head might hurt for a few days. Just take it easy. As for the tired part that can sometimes happen after a head injury but I want you to stay awake for a while and you are not to be left alone for a few hours. You probably have a mild concussion." He stated. "I want to talk to you more about your pregnancy but first I think we have some things to discuss. Jasper could you please go and find Rosalie and Emmett."

"I don't want Rosalie anywhere near Bella." Edward growled.

"Edward." Carlisle warned.

"No Dad. See what she did to Bella. This is her fault. If she hadn't of opened her big mouth none of this would have happened like this." He stated angrily.

"Edward she is coming in whether you like it or not she is family and we need to discuss this as a family." Carlisle said.

Edward gave up and sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry Bella." Edward murmured into my hair.

Not too long later Jasper returned with Emmett and Rosalie. Everyone resumed their seats.

"Edward would you please like to tell us what you were going to before Rosalie decided to rudely interrupt you." Carlisle said as he wrapped his arm around Esme reassuringly.

"Fine." Edward spat as he glared at Rosalie. "Before we were interrupted I did have something to tell you. Thanks to Rosalie, you have all jumped to the wrong conclusion."

"Wait what." Esme said suddenly leaning forward out of Carlisles embrace, her eyes were red and puffy from crying. "Carlisle you were talking about Bella being pregnant when you were examining her and Edward was worried about the baby. Edward how could we have jumped to conclusions, it is obvious that she is pregnant?"

Edward sighed and run his hand through his hair. "Bella is pregnant." Edward stated.

"I don't understand." Esme said loudly. "If Bella is pregnant how could we have jumped to conclusions?"

"Esme dear please let Edward and Bella explain." Carlisle said reassuringly.

Suddenly Esme looked at Carlisle. "You know something, Carlisle. You've been keeping something from me." Esme stated as she suddenly jumped up.

This was definitely not how I had planned for this to go. Everyone yelling at each other, people jumping to conclusions. I hated it. Rosalie was sitting there looking down, Emmett and Jasper were looking from Edward and I to their parents. Alice she was sitting there shaking her head.

"Esme dear please let's sit down and listen to what Edward and Bella have to say." He said trying to calm Esme down.

"Carlisle I will do no such thing. How could you keep this from me? I'm your wife and Edward is our son. Shouldn't I know if something is going on with him, especially if he got Bella pregnant?" She said angrily.

Edward nudged me forward so he could get out from behind me and moved to sit next to me. He looked at me and tried to smile but it didn't reach his eyes. This was hurting him. I was hurting him. He reached out and wiped away the tears that were streaming down my face, I didn't even know that I was crying.

"Mom please sit down." Edward asked gently.

"Edward why couldn't you come to me and talk to me? I am your parent too." She said hoarsely.

"Mom please." Edward whispered painfully.

"I can't believe that you weren't careful. Edward you father is a doctor for Christ sake." Esme yelled. "I can not believe how reckless you are. I thought you had more sense than this. I thought I had raised you better but obviously I was wrong."

"Esme." Carlisle warned.

"No Carlisle, you have known about this and haven't told me. I can not believe that you could do something like this. Did you do this on purpose Bella? Did you plan to get pregnant to keep Edward?" Esme said furiously. "Was this some sick plan to keep him? I hope your parents know what you did. I can not believe you as well Edward. You should know better. Now you are going to be a father at the age of 18. Do you not realise how difficult that is or what a responsibility a baby is?"

"Mom stop." Edward sobbed.

"Esme please let the kids explain." Carlisle said calmly.

"How can you be so calm about this Carlisle? Is this what you want, our child to waste his chance at going to college to be stuck with a baby at 18? He is going to miss out on so much and why because of one stupid mistake."

I couldn't take this anymore. I could see the pain in Edwards eyes when his mother said those things to him. I needed for this to stop. I needed to stop this now. I know what I am going to say is going to hurt Edward but it is obvious that Edwards mother isn't happy about the idea of me being pregnant with Edward's baby when she finds out it isn't his she is probably going to hate me even more.

"Stop." I yelled. I stood up slowly, taking one look at Edward who was looking at me with a shocked expression. "I am pregnant but it's ...it's not Edwards."

Edward looked at me and I mouthed I'm sorry too him but before I could get anywhere Esme interrupted me.

"You led my son on telling him it was his baby when all along it wasn't." Esme yelled at me. "You are some piece of work. You were going to make my son be stuck with a baby, at 18, that wasn't even his and have him miss out on going to college."

"Esme." Carlisle said shocked.

"Mom." Alice and Edward both yelled out.

Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper looked on with their mouths hanging open. I took a deep breath before continuing, I couldn't look at Edward again, that was just too hard.

"It isn't his baby. I'm sorry Edward I ... I can't do this ... anymore." I sobbed. "I'm sorry to cause you all this pain. Edward it's over between us, I just ... can't anymore. I'm sorry." And with that I started walking out. I needed to get out. I couldn't see Edward again. I couldn't be his girlfriend it wasn't fair on him. As I was leaving I heard Edward yelling.

"I can't believe you all. I ask you to wait until we were finished before saying anything and not to jump in." Edward said angrily. "I know that baby isn't mine. I've known all along. I love Bella. She is it for me. You all just treated her like shit. You didn't let us tell you. And you Rosalie know shit. You don't know what Bella has been through. None of you do or else you wouldn't have just treated her like that."

"Edward son calm down." Carlisle said trying to calm his son down.

"No Dad, they need to hear how fucking stupid they are. None of you know shit. Bella was fucking raped ok. RAPED." Edward screamed furiously. "She is carrying her rapist baby. I would give anything to have that baby be mine and Bella not to have endure that pain but I can't. Here you all are jumping to fucking conclusions and not thinking about what you all are saying. Say what you want about me but don't you fucking dare speak to Bella the way you have been, she doesn't deserve that. It's fucking pathetic and I call you all family."

I couldn't hear it anymore. I put my hand on the door and opened it. I had never heard Edward go off like that and to his family. I felt so bad for bringing them all down too. I realised that had no way of getting home. I didn't have my bag with me, it was in the house somewhere, so I couldn't call Charlie to come and get me. I was too far from town to actually walk back home. I walked down the front steps and sat down on the stone wall of the garden bed.

I don't know how much time passed but soon I felt someone sit beside me, I didn't even hear them approach. I didn't want to see who it was but I knew that it wasn't Edward.

"Bella are you ok?" Alice asked concerned.

I just nodded I didn't have the energy to talk. Alice placed her arm around me and I just cried into her shoulder.

"It's ok Bella. Everything will be ok." Alice said reassuringly.

"No it's not. I should never have agreed to be Edwards girlfriend and this is proof of that." I said sadly.

"Bella don't say that."

"Alice you seen how everyone reacted and that was when they thought it was Edward's baby and then all the stuff your mother said about me."

"Everyone was just shocked that's all. If Rosalie hadn't opened her big mouth it probably would have gone differently." Alice tried to convince me.

"You don't know that." I said quietly. "What is going on in there?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" Alice asked.

"Yes."

Alice sighed. "Ok. Well I don't know what you heard. Edward went off on them. He told them that you were raped and that you are pregnant with the rapists baby. I think that took everyone by surprise. They all looked shocked. He yelled at Mom for how she went off about and to you." Alice said sadly.

"I'm sorry Alice if it wasn't for me this wouldn't have happened."

"Hey don't say that. Edward is so happy with you and everyone knows and can see it." She said hugging me closer. "You want to hear what else happened?"

"Is it bad?" I asked unsure.

"Depends on your definition of bad. Well once Edward sounded off on everyone I think he finally realised what you said." Alice said before pulling me back and looking at me. "He kind of lost it then. He broke down and cried. I've never seen my brother cry like that. He just looked so dejected and miserable. Mom tried to comfort him but he lost it on her. He screamed at her and told her that it was her fault and he even said that he hated her. Then of course Dad got involved and tried to smooth things over but that just made it worse. Mom isn't speaking to Dad at the moment and Edward doesn't want to speak to Dad, Mom or Rosalie. Emmett and Jasper are with him now. I came out here not long after to make sure you were alright, Edward was worried that you might try to walk home."

"Shit Alice. This is all my fault." I said starting to get hysterical. "I was thinking of walking home but realised I wouldn't make it."

"Yeah I didn't think you would be that stupid." Alice said trying to lighten the mood. "Come on Bella it is going to be ok. Everyone just needs to calm down."

"Nothing anyone can say is going to take away the words that were said today Alice and it's all my fault. If I wasn't here then it wouldn't have happened."

"That is true but then my brother would still be miserable." She said encouragingly.

"He is miserable now Alice." I said and Alice just shook her head. "Alice I think it's best if I go. I don't want to make this harder on everyone, especially Edward. Can you drive me or if you don't want to can you get my bag and I can call Charlie to come and get me?"

"Bella I really think you and Edward should talk." She said sighing. "But if you want me to take you home I will. I'll be back in a minute, I'll grab your bag too."

Alice then got up and walked back into the house. I wasn't alone for very long. I heard someone come up and stand next to me, they didn't sneak up on me like Alice did. I didn't want to look up, I knew it wasn't Alice or Edward, I was actually afraid of who it was.

"Um Bella can I sit with you for a minute?" Emmett asked hesitantly. I just nodded. "I um wow ok I don't know what to say. Are you alright?" Again I just nodded. "Yeah ok I guess it is rather a stupid question. I'm sorry about how everything went down inside. Rosalie shouldn't have said anything. It wasn't her place and after all they were only rumours at school."

"Emmett." I said hoarsely. "It isn't your place to apologise for Rosalie."

"Yeah I know but I just feel like I should. I still can't believe what happened. That was some intense shit hey. I'm sorry about what happened to you, if I ever see the bastard I'll kill him" Emmett said angrily. "You wanna tell me who he is so I can?"

"Get in line. There are a lot of people who want to know who it was." I said miserably.

"Wait." Emmett yelled. "You know who it was don't you?" I just nodded. "Holey shit Bella. Have you told anyone?" I shook my head no. "Why the hell not? I mean he would go to jail."

"Emmett it would be my word against his and I don't want him or his family to know that I am pregnant." I said sadly.

"Fuck. Sorry Bella." He said putting his arm around me and giving me a hug. "Wish I knew who it was because I can tell you what he wouldn't be breathing now. Bella can I ask you something?"

"Sure Emmett."

"Did you really mean what you said earlier?" He asked.

"What in particular are you talking about?"

"You and Edward. You said it was over, did you mean it?"

"Yes."

"Fuck, Bella I hope it wasn't because of us. You and Edward are great together I mean he is so happy with you. I finally have my brother back."

"Emmett it isn't fair on him and I realise that now."

"Bella he is really upset right now. He thinks he has lost you. He blames us for it too."

"Emmett it is for the best. You seen how your mother reacted when she thought I was pregnant with Edward's baby and now that I'm not she is going to outright hate me for bringing him down too. He doesn't deserve this. Edward will soon see that this is for the best and that it isn't your fault."

I felt like a part of me was dying. Breaking things off with Edward was killing me. I hated it but I knew it needed to happen especially with the events that just occurred. I heard someone else approach, I thought that it was just Alice coming back to take me home but I was wrong. I felt Emmett's arm tense around me.

"Rosalie not now." Emmett said through his teeth.

"Emmett please I just want to apologise." Rosalie said softly.

"Bella?" Emmett asked.

"It's ok Emmett."

"Ok well I'll just be on the porch." And with that Emmett walked away leaving Rosalie and myself here in an awkward silence.

"Bella I'm sorry about what I said." She said hesitantly. "I should have let you and Edward tell everyone. I don't blame you if you hate me. I know Edward does. Just please don't break up with Edward because of what I said."

"Rosalie it isn't because of what you said. What's done is done. I'm just sorry that everything happened the way it did. I guess it made me see that this is wrong."

"What do you mean that this is wrong?" She asked confused.

"Edward and I. I was stupid to think that it would work." I said shaking my head.

"Bella he loves you. He admitted it to everyone. He is inside right now crying. He is miserable right now and it is because he thinks that you and him are over. I've never seen Edward like this."

"He will get over it. He will soon see that it wasn't meant to be." I said trying to convince myself that it was the right thing, although I was failing miserable as I had tears streaming down my face.

"Bella you don't believe that for a second and either does Edward." Rosalie stated.

I decided that I needed to get out of here now before someone convinced me to stay or talk to Edward. I slowly started to stand up but it didn't go to well. I was actually lucky that Rosalie was there as she grabbed me before I could hit the ground.

"Shit Bella are you alright?" Rosalie asked panicked.

"Yeah I'm fine." I lied. I wasn't fine, nowhere near it both on a emotional level and a physical level.

"I so don't believe you right now. You're pregnant and I'm not going to let this slide" Rosalie said quickly. Before yelling out to Emmett. "Emmett get Carlisle now. Come on sit down."

Rosalie tried to help me sit back up on the stone flower bed but I didn't have the energy to, so she helped lower me to the ground slowly. I closed my eyes. Literally seconds later Carlisle was kneeling next to me.

"Rosalie what happened?" Carlisle asked calmly.

"She started to stand up but fell, I was lucky I caught her in time." Rosalie said alarmed.

"Bella. Tell me how you feel?" Carlisle asked.

"Just tired, drained, sleepy and my head hurts." I replied. I wasn't telling him everything, I had some pains in my stomach but right now I didn't care about the baby. I didn't want it, because of it Edward and I can't be together. I knew logically that it was irrational to think like that because I had decided to keep it but right now I blamed it for everything.

"Do you feel dizzy?" He asked.

"A little."

"What have you eaten today?" He asked.

"Um I had some cereal for breakfast but I threw that up and well I had a little food here but I threw that up too."

"So essentially we can say that you have had nothing to eat." Carlisle said rubbing his face, he didn't look too pleased. "How long has this been going on Bella?"

"Pretty much whenever I eat I throw it up, there is the odd occasion that I can keep something down but that isn't often." I said honestly.

Carlisle just nodded his head and was deep in thought. "Bella I'm going to bring you inside so I can check your blood pressure and I want to see if you can eat something."

"Can't I just go home?" I pleaded.

"Bella right now I am extremely worried about you. Regardless of what happened here today I'm still your doctor and if you won't come inside then I'll have to take you to the hospital." Carlisle informed me.

I sighed dejectedly; I knew there was no getting around this. I hated hospitals and I didn't want to go inside but I honestly I hated hospitals more. I just nodded. Carlisle bent down and picked me up effortlessly. Alice came out then and she started to panic.

"Bella are you ok? What happened?" She asked worried.

"I'm ok Alice." I informed her.

"She is not ok." Rosalie stated.

"Girls please." Carlisle said as he carried me up the stairs. "Someone the door please."

The door was quickly opened and Carlisle carried me into the living room. I heard something smash and some loud banging. I couldn't tell where it was coming from. I also vaguely heard someone yelling. This was all my fault. Carlisle slowly lowered me down on the sofa.

"Alice, my bag in my study can you please go and get it." Carlisle asked Alice, as soon as the words left Carlisle mouth Alice was off. "Emmett can you please see if we have any plain crackers and lemonade."

" Sure thing. Um should we go tell Edward?" Emmett asked hesitantly.

"No." I yelled and everyone looked at me shocked. "Sorry but I think it's best if he doesn't know."

"Bella, I think he would want to know." Rosalie offered.

"Please don't." I sobbed.

They seemed to drop it. Alice came back with Carlisle's bag then. He proceeded to check my blood pressure and from the look on Carlisle's face it wasn't good.

"Bella." Carlisle said hesitantly. "Your blood pressure is sky high. It's too high. It's more than likely due to the stress of what has occurred today. You need to try to calm down and relax."

I honestly felt like saying that it was easier said than done. However Carlisle beat me to it.

"I know it is easier said than done but you need to try." He said. "I want you to try to eat some cracker and lemonade. Hopefully you can keep this down. I want you stay here for a while."

I started to panic then. I couldn't stay here, not with Edward being here and what had happened.

"Bella calm down. Look I want to keep an eye on you. Now there are two places that I can do that, here or at the hospital. It is up to you."

He knew he had me. He knew I hated hospitals. I nodded in defeat.

"Ok good. I want to monitor your blood pressure and if it doesn't start to come down then unfortunately I want to take you to the hospital to be monitored. Also if you are unable to keep food down I'm going to want to hook you up to an IV and we need to go to the hospital to do that too."

Well he might as well take me now. I almost laughed but I held it back.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well you are more than likely dehydrated from vomiting and you are probably malnourished. As the baby will be taking as much of your nutrients as it can to grow and because you aren't able to keep things down you aren't getting any therefore it is making you lightheaded and sick."

I just nodded. Emmett came back then and handed Carlisle some crackers and lemonade.

"Good let's see if you can keep these down." Carlisle said quietly.

"Hey Bella. You should come into my room and we can watch some TV or a movie." Alice said excitedly.

"Sure Alice." I said quickly. It was safer than being here where everyone could see me. I started to get up.

"Oh no you don't." Carlisle said quickly.

"Here Dad I'll carry her up." Emmett volunteered. "Is that alright Bella?"

"Yeah sure."

Alice took the crackers and lemonade and started heading towards the stairs while Emmett bent down to pick me up. Emmett carried me up to Alice's room. It was a large room with an enormous four poster bed in the middle, it looked like she had her own bathroom and a walk in closet. She had a desk off to the side and a bookcase full of books, CDs and DVDs and on the wall in front of her bed was a large flatscreen TV. Her room was decorated in different shades of purple with a white carpet. Emmet took me over to the bed and gentle placed me down.

"I'm sorry about today Bella." He said quietly before leaving the room.

"Ok so what do you want to watch?" She asked.

"Um it doesn't worry me you pick something." I said.

She didn't look too happy about that but went over to her bookcase and looked through her collection. She came back with four DVDs and placed them in front of me.

"Ok so there is Remember Me, it features this really hot guy, but don't tell Jasper I think that or else he will never watch it with me gain, Adventureland, it is about a theme park a really bad one but the movie is good, Thirteen, it is about teenage rebellion it's a good movie too or we can watch The Last Song, it's a sad movie but good even though it features Miley Cyrus. You pick one." She said handing me the DVDs.

"Um Remember Me." I said hesitantly.

"Oh good choice now we can watch some man candy." She said as she licked her lips.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing. It was funny the way she talked about this actor guy. It felt good to laugh. She looked at me innocently and batted her eyes and I just shook my head at her. Alice put the DVD in and laid down next to me on her bed.

"Bella you should try to eat some of t he crackers." Alice said quietly.

I leaned over and took the packet of crackers and opened them. I faced Alice to show her that I was eating them, I picked one out and placed it in my mouth.

"Ok Very funny. Point taken. I'm just worried." Alice said quietly.

Soon we settled down and started to watch the movie. Alice was right the main actor was hot but not as hot as Edward. I really needed to get off this line of thought but I couldn't help it though. I kept finding similarities in Edward and this actor. I reached over and took the lemonade from the nightstand and opened it, taking a small sip. I was actually enjoying watching the movie with Alice. It was nice to just lay here with her. I tried to just focus on the movie but it was hard. I was still having the odd sharp pain in my stomach but I just ignored it. Right now I didn't want to deal with the baby or even think about it. I knew Carlisle was worried and I have a feeling that if I told him I would have been at the hospital already.

About thirty minutes into the movie there was a knock on the door. I panicked, I hoped that it wasn't Edward. Alice paused the movie and invited the person in. It was Carlisle.

"Alice, Bella. I just came to check your blood pressure Bella."

I just nodded. Carlisle did his thing and checked it.

"Ok so there is good news. Your blood pressure is coming down. However it is doing it slowly but the main thing is that it is dropping." Carlisle said sounding somewhat relieved. "How are you going with the Lemonade and crackers?"

"Um good I think." I hadn't really been paying attention.

Carlisle pick up the packet of crackers and lemonade. "Well they both are empty." Carlisle stated smiling at me.

"What really?" I asked stunned.

Carlisle chuckled. "Yes they are. How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Um ok I guess."

"That's good. Ok well if you keep those down after the movie I want to see if you can eat a sandwich. You need to eat more than crackers and lemonade."

I just nodded.

"Ok well I'll leave you girls to your movie." Carlisle said as he started heading towards the door.

"Dad." Alice said suddenly and Carlisle turned around. "How is everyone out there?" She asked.

Carlisle looked to me before answering. "Everyone is ok considering."

It felt like he was leaving things out purely on my account. "Carlisle it's ok." I said.

He seemed to think about it for a moment before coming back over and sitting on the end of the bed. "Edward found out that you were here but didn't want to see him, he decided he needed to get out of the house for a while or else he would have come in here and he knew that it wasn't what you wanted. He is upset yes but he doesn't want to upset you."

"Where did he go? I feel bad that he felt like he had to leave. It's his house." I said sadly.

"Bella it's ok. He is upset and he needs to think. He just went to a place he goes to sometimes in the forest. He goes there when he needs to think or to get away. Jasper and Emmett went with him. He wasn't happy that they did but he isn't alone."

I was glad that he wasn't alone. I felt bad enough as it is and at least he had his brothers with him.

"How is Mom?" Alice asked.

Carlisle again looked at me a little concern written on his face, I just nodded encouraging him to go on.

"To tell you the truth she is a mess right now. She hasn't really said anything since Edward left. She is in our room at the moment and doesn't want to talk. She feels bad about what happened and how she acted, especially towards you Bella. I won't go on about it but I know she wants to talk to you later, Bella, if you would let her. She wanted to come talk to you sooner but realises that you are upset and doesn't want to make it worse for you. However it is entirely up to you and if you don't want to talk to her then that is fine." Carlisle assured me.

"No it is fine I'll talk to her." I said. I didn't want her to feel bad. It shouldn't have happened in the first place and if Edward and I weren't together then everything would go on as normal.

"Thank you Bella it means a lot to me and will to Esme too." He said smiling at me.

"Dad is everything ok between you and Mom?" Alice asked hesitantly.

"Everything is fine sweetheart. Don't you go worrying about your mother and me." Carlisle said reassuringly but somehow I think that there was more going on than he let on.

"Oh Carlisle I'm sorry. It's all my fault." I said as tears slid down my cheek. I felt bad. Esme accused Carlisle of keeping information from her.

"Bella don't worry. As soon as I told Esme that I was your doctor she understood and apologised. So don't you worry." He said comfortingly.

I just nodded. There was no way that I wasn't going to feel bad. It was after all my fault.

"Ok well you two enjoy your movie and I'll come and check on you later." Carlisle said as he got up and left the room.

Alice and I went back to watching the movie. It was actually a good movie. I didn't see the ending coming though. It was so sad and I couldn't help myself, I had tears streaming down my face. Alice never told me it had a sad ending. I turned to Alice and she was balling her eyes out too and that made me cry harder. Just then the door opened and in walked Esme carrying two plates. As soon as she seen us crying she went pale and rushed over. She placed the plates on the side table.

"Carlisle." She screamed panicked. "Bella, Alice what is it, what's wrong?"

Alice and I couldn't for coherent sentences. I'm not even sure what we were saying was even words. Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie all came running into the room and all of them stopped dead besides Carlisle. He came and took Esmes place on the bed, she had stood up when they all came into the room. Edward looked like he wanted to come over to comfort me but Jasper held him back.

"Girls what is it? What's wrong?" Carlisle asked quickly, his eyes moving from me to Alice frantically trying to assess us.

Rosalie spoke up then, she had obviously realised what was wrong. "They were watching Remember Me. They are fine. At the end of the movie the hot guy dies. Alice always cries. Don't know why the guy isn't even hot."

And the Alice and I both gave her what I could only assume was a death stare. She held her hands up in defeat.

"Ok then obviously he is hot then and Bella has Alice's bad taste." She said laughing.

Alice and I both responded at the same time.

"He is hot." We both looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Everyone in the room seemed utterly confused.

"Ok so let me get this right you both are fine and you're crying over a movie?" Carlisle asked and we both nodded. "Ok well please don't almost give me a heart attack again." He said while shaking his head.

Carlisle got up and left the room still shaking his head. He popped his head back in the room.

"Bella, I'll check your blood pressure soon." He said before his head disappeared again.

Rosalie and Emmett left the room then. Edward looked at me for a moment, he looked so miserable, before walking out the room hanging his head. Jasper walked up to us then.

"Crying over that actor again baby." He stated trying not to laugh. Alice just threw a pillow at him.

"Um Bella, Alice I made you both a sandwich. I didn't know what you liked Bella so I just made you a ham and cheese." Esme said hesitantly.

"Um thanks Esme." I said.

"Bella do you mind if I talk to you for a moment." Esme asked.

I just nodded.

"Ok well we'll leave you to it." Alice said quickly and she jumped off the bed and started to walk out the room with Jasper.

"Alice your sandwich." Esme said.

Alice came and collected her sandwich before leaving the room. Now I was left alone with Esme. I didn't know what to say to her or how to talk to her.

"Bella I want to apologise for what I said and how I acted earlier. I know that I can not take back what I said and you have every right not to accept my apology. I won't hold it against you if you never fully accept my apology, I had no right to say what I did and I know I have a lot of apologising to do to you and the rest of my family. I should have done what Edward said and waited for you both to tell me everything before jumping to conclusions." She said as tears slid down her face. "I'm so sorry Bella, what you went through no one should have to go through. When Edward told me what happened and how you became pregnant I felt physically sick. I know I should have trusted my son, I should not have jumped to conclusions about you trapping him and saying that you led him on and calling you a piece of work, that was uncalled for. I can not apologise enough for what I said. My son is a very honourable wanting to be there for you and your baby. Not many, if any, teenage boys his age would stand by you like he is."

"Esme." I choked out. "It's ok you didn't know. Me being with Edward is wrong and I see that now. He should be free to have fun and enjoy his teenage years and not be stuck with a girlfriend that is carrying someone else's baby. He shouldn't have to worry about a baby at 18 and he should be free to go to collage as well. I don't want to hold him back."

"Oh Bella don't say that, I'm sorry I did. You and Edward are great together. Before everything happened today I noticed how he was finally happy. He was finally smiling a genuine smile. I have not seen my son look like that in years and it is all because of you. I know that you and my son should be together and I will support you both. Bella since you said it was over between the two of you he has been so distraught. I've never seen my son act that way in his entire life, it is like someone died. He destroyed his room and he has never been one for violence or throwing things, even as a child he never did. I know that it is my fault that the both of you are suffering right now and I want to fix that. I know how I acted towards the news of your pregnancy was extremely bad, and that is putting it in a nice way, but now that I have had time to think about it I understand and have come to terms with it. You and my son belong together and if that eventually involves a baby then so be it." Esme said smiling at me.

"I don't know. Maybe this is how it is meant to be. He shouldn't be trapped with me and stuck with a baby that isn't his." I said crying.

"Bella please. I wasn't thinking when I spoke earlier, I was just angry and taken by surprise and I didn't think before I spoke." Esme said taking my hands. "I don't mean to make you cry. It is going to take some getting use to but if Edward wants to be with you and you want to be with Edward then you should. He is old enough to make his own decisions. If you both have talked about it, which it is obvious that you have, and both want to pursue a relationship then I will support you. Come on maybe we should head downstairs they are probably worried about you and me being left alone. Edward is probably beside himself with worry."

With that we both stood up, I took my time making sure that I wasn't going to get dizzy.

"Are you alright Bella?" Esme asked concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said quickly.

We headed out of Alice's room and down the stairs slowly, Esme kept to my pace. We walking down into the living room which is where everyone was sitting. As soon as we walked in Edward's head snapped up. His eyes were red and puffy. He tried to smile but it wasn't coming across as one. I sat down next to Alice and Esme handed me the sandwich. I smiled at her and took a bite. Everyone else looked on nervously.

"I just want to apologies to everyone, Edward you especially. I've spoken to Bella and I'm hoping that she will eventually forgive me." Esme said sadly.

"Esme please." I started to say.

"Bella please it's fine." Esme said smiling at me. "I know I should have listen to you before jumping to conclusions. I love you and I just panicked. I know I shouldn't have but I did and there is no excuse for it. I know what I said was unacceptable, and I trust you enough to know that all of the things I said weren't true but unfortunately I just saw red. I should have thought before I spoke and I didn't. I hope that you will forgive me Edward." Esme sobbed. "Carlisle. I know we will talk later but I'm extremely sorry to you as well. I know that you have to respect your code as a Doctor and I know that if Edward had of come to you in confidence that you would never break that either and I admire and respect that about you but for a moment I felt betrayed and I know that it is stupid and irrational but I hope that you would forgive me."

"Esme love I know you were upset. I just wish that you had waited for the kids to tell you everything. I know we do need to talk later and I will eventually forgive you but I just need some time." Carlisle said reassuringly. "Edward."

"Yeah ok fine. I will probably forgive you but right now I can't." Edward said stiffly not looking at his mother. "What you said about me hurt, I honestly hope that you don't think so poorly of me. But what you said about Bella was uncalled for. That hurt the most, that you could think those things of her, she would never do anything like that."

"I understand and you are completely right Edward." Esme said sadly.

"I guess I should apologise too." Rosalie said. "I know if I didn't open my big mouth that none of this would have happened this way."

"Yeah that's fucking right it wouldn't have." Edward said angrily.

"Edward." Carlisle scolded him.

"Edward don't." I said quietly. Everyone already felt bad, which was bad enough and we didn't need to make it worse. Edwards head snapped towards me and he looked so pained. I felt bad, it was my fault. I didn't notice that I was crying until Alice handed me a tissue.

"Bella, I'm sorry. Please don't cry." He said pained. I just nodded my head and took another bite of my sandwich.

"Wow so today has definitely been interesting." Emmett said trying to break the tension that suddenly took over the room. Everyone just looked at him and rolled their eyes. "So I'm going to be an Uncle, hell cool. You better have a boy. Boys are better than girls and I can play with a boy."

"Emmett really." Edward said angrily as he got up and walked out.

I hung my head. I knew he was angry and it was my fault. I got up slowly.

"Fuck." Emmett cursed.

"Language son." Carlisle said sternly.

"I didn't mean to upset him. I mean you guys aren't really breaking up right?" Emmett said sadly looking at me.

"I don't know Emmett." I said honestly as I started to get up.

"Where are you going?" Alice asked.

"To find Edward. I guess we need to talk."

"Come on I'll show you to his room. He didn't leave the house so that's where he will be." Emmett said.

Emmett came over and picked me up.

"Emmett I can walk." I stated.

"Yes you can and I have seen you do so but after today I am carrying you. We need to go up two flights of stairs probably safer if I carry you." He said as he started to walk towards the stairs. I sighed and gave in.

Emmett carried me the two flights of stairs like I weighted nothing. He stood me upright in front of Edwards door and walked away. I took a breath before I knocked.

"Go away. I don't want to talk to anyone. Just fuck off." Edward yelled through the door.

"Um Edward it's me." I said quietly. I didn't know if he would hear me but he obviously did because the next thing I know the door was flung open and Edward is standing in front of me.


	27. Chapter 26: The Talk

****A/N. Sorry I'm a day late, been really busy! I wanted this chapter to be longer but unfortunately I don't have time to make it longer, unless you wanted to wait another 3 days for it so I decided to post what I have! It's better than nothing!  
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****Thanks to everyone (**maella2012, TheSpunkRansom, jadedghost22, J.M. Rose, & 13ddenelle)** ****that posted a review/comment for my last chapter! It means a lot to me! ****

****I'm hoping to update once a week (fingers crossed) but that day may change each week over the next few weeks as I'm working longer hours (as one of my co workers is now on materity leave and due to this time of year being busy at work!) I apologise in advance if i don't update every Wednesday as I have been for the last few weeks!****

****Ok so let me know what you think of this chapter! I hope you all like it!  
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****Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 26<strong>: The Talk

Edward stood in front of me shocked. He was looking me up and down as if he thought that I might disappear at any moment.

"Bella." He whispered. "Is everything ok? Are you alright?" I just nodded. "What are you doing here? I don't understand?"

"Um we should talk, can I come in?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't know if he would want to talk to me after what happened earlier but I knew we needed to.

He nodded his head and moved to the side so I could enter his room. I had never been in here and I think that it would have looked a lot different earlier today than what it does now. I have a feeling the banging and smashing I heard earlier was Edward reeking havoc on his room. His room was painted a dark blue, like Alice he had a large four poster bed however his was a different style and very masculine, he had a desk on one wall, a leather sofa against the window, three large bookcases that housed an extremely large number of CDs and books, he had his own bathroom and a walk in closet. I'm sure he kept his room cleaner than this but it honestly looked like a bomb had gone off. There was paper, books, clothes thrown all around the room, his desk chair was overturned, his guitar was smashed and in two pieces, and photo frames that had pictures of his family were shattered and pieces of glass lying everywhere.

"Sorry about the mess." He said sheepishly. "Here um sit here." He moved some stuff off of the sofa and placed it on his desk. He seemed somewhat hesitant to be around me, nervous even.

"Thanks." I said as I sat down. Edward picked up his chair and sat it a few feet in front of me.

"So you um wanted to talk." He said cautiously looking at his hands.

"Yeah I guess so." I said shyly. "I'm sorry about today and what was said. It shouldn't have happened."

He looked at me for a moment, many different emotions flickered across his face most of which I couldn't decipher.

"Bella. Please don't." He said running his hand through his hair. "It wasn't your fault what happened. We probably could have avoided all this if Rosalie wasn't a bitch and opened her mouth."

"Edward don't say that about your sister. I know she probably should have let us tell everyone but you still shouldn't call her that." I said timidly.

"How can you be so understanding Bella? Because of her everything is changed. I now am not talking to my mother, I am really disappointed in my Dad, I hate Rosalie and because of her you don't want to be with me and hate me and it's all because of her." Edward said angrily.

I couldn't believe that he thought I hated him. That was far from the truth. It was wrong that he wasn't talking to his Mother and I had no idea why he was disappointed in his Dad and to use the word hate to describe how he felt about his sister was wrong. I needed to make this right.

"Edward." I said softly. "I don't hate you far from it." His head snapped up quickly and he looked at me, trying to read me, probably to see if I was lying to him.

"Bella what ... why? I don't understand, if you don't hate me then why ... why did you break up with me?" He cried.

I couldn't look at him. It was for the best. Even if his family is ok with this they weren't when they found out and they're not going to change their minds regardless. If they had that reaction to begin with it just shows that they aren't happy with the idea, they are probably only saying they are now because of what happened. I don't know if they are actually genuine with their opinions or feelings now, they could just be saying they are because they feel sorry for me.

"Edward. You saw how your family reacted today. This isn't right, what we are doing. It just should never have happened and I see that now. I'm being selfish. Your Mom pointed out a few good reasons why I shouldn't be with you."

"Bella. This is right. I know this is right. I can feel it and I know you can too. You're just scared that's all and today hasn't helped. I know you have been doubting yourself and us, Bella that needs to stop. I don't care what everyone else says, I've said that all along you know that. Us that's all that matters." He said strained as he pulled on his hair. "And as for what my Mother said, none of that matters Bella. None of that matters if I don't have you. We don't know what is going to happen in the future but we can deal with that and face it together. No matter what it is or what life throws at us we can do it together."

"Your Mother is right, a baby is a big responsibility and I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with that let alone have you deal with it too when it isn't your responsibility to."

"Bella, we can do this together. I want to be there for you and the baby. I want this Bella, I want us and that includes a baby and I know that." Edward said desperately.

"Edward don't do this. I can't take it anymore. You don't know how it's going to be, it isn't fair on you. You can have a normal life and not be tied down." I sobbed. I knew he was desperately trying to get me to see things his way but I just couldn't especially with what his Mother had said, I mean I would be lucky if I ever finished high school let along got to go to College.

"Bella God, this would be so much easier if it were my baby." He muttered, he probably didn't want me to hear what he said but I did. "We are just going around in circles here. We aren't getting anywhere, you know this, I know this. Just please Bella don't do this." He sobbed.

I didn't know what to do. I was torn. Edward looked so miserable and it was my fault. It was a tough decision either way Edward would suffer and I didn't know what was best. Maybe I was wrong to end this. Edward looked up at me then and there was a look of determination on his face. He got up off his chair and came and sat next to me on the sofa. He placed his hands on my face and turned me to face him. His thumb started to rub my cheek, and there was this look in his eyes and it made me want to take everything back, to still be his girlfriend. He leaned forward slowly, I could feel his breath on my lips. He kept looking into my eyes and I couldn't find it in me to turn away, I knew I should, this was only going to make it worse to walk away. I knew he would stop if I said something, I knew what this was leading to. He moved his lips closer to mine and I could just feel his lips brush mine. All I could think of was him kissing me. This was going to be my first real kiss. And then our lips met. His lips were soft and gentle on mine, one of his hands moved to the back of my head and he weaved his hands through my hair. He moved himself closer to me. He kissed me a few times, each time longer than the last, before moving back a fraction and rested his forehead on mine.

"I'm sorry Bella."He whispered breathing fast, I didn't know what he was sorry for. Was he sorry for kissing me, for what happened today, or something completely different? I had no idea. "If you want this to stop now, stop me or else I'm going to keep kissing you. If you don't want me to, just say no but you better say it now."

He waited a moment, waiting for me to tell him to stop. I honestly knew I should stop him. It was the right thing to do but his lips felt mind-blowing on mine. I wanted them back, I wanted him to kiss me and it was wrong and illogical but I needed it. I wanted to remember his lips, I wanted to dream of this kiss and how it felt. I wanted to dream how incredible his lips felt on mine, how natural it was and replace the memories of the last person that had his lips on me. Before I could think anymore he crashed his lips to mine, he was a little less gentle now but still sweet. He ran his tongue over my lip trying to gain entrance to my mouth and I willingly gave in. Our tongues collided and he deepened the kiss. His tongue against mine felt amazing. After what felt like hours he pulled away. I immediately wanted his lips on mine again. I knew why he did this but I didn't care and I knew I would regret it later. We were both breathing a little heavily.

"I know I probably shouldn't have done that." He said nervously. "But Bella that was the most wonderful, amazing, mind-blowing kiss I have ever had. Please tell me you think that too?"

I nodded and looked down. I just, this just made it more difficult. I didn't know what to do.

"Bella. You make me feel whole. It was like I was missing a part of me and I met you and everything just fit. It felt right. That kiss, that felt like home. Please don't end this, don't end us." He pleaded.

I was slowly starting to crack and I didn't know how much longer I could hold on. I wanted to be strong and to do what was best but now I was doubting myself and what the right thing to do was, maybe there was no right or wrong in this situation.

"Edward." I whispered.

"Bella, I don't care what anyone says about us or what people think. If they think this baby is mine then so be it. I want to be there for you and the baby. I know I must sound crazy and you probably think that but don't push me away. If you want to do what is right, something that won't hurt me and make me happy then please don't end us. You know how I feel, I can't say it any other way, just please Bella."

"I'm sorry Edward." I whispered as the last resolve of my strength fell away. I leaned forward and crashing my lips to his. I moved my lips against his which didn't react at first but then he gave in and started kissing me back.

"Bella does this mean ..." He asked pulling back and looking at me confused. I just nodded. "Oh Bella." Edward said before his lips met mine again.

He soon leaned back and pulled me into a hug. "You have just made me so happy. I thought I had lost you. Thank you baby."

We sat like that for a while, his arms wrapped around me. I didn't want to move. I was just so drained from the physical and emotional rollercoaster that was today. I eventually pulled back and looked around his room. He seemed to notice me surveying his room.

"Um yeah I kind of trashed my room. I normally don't do stupid things like that, it's just that I was so upset about what had happened and I thought that I had lost you, well I guess I did for a while, but yeah I normally don't deal with things like that." He stated nervously.

"Do you want me to help you clean up?" I asked.

"No it's fine. I'll do it later. Do you want to go downstairs and get something to drink?"

"Yeah sure." I said hesitantly.

He took my hand and helped me up, we walked downstairs and towards the kitchen, all the while with Edward holding my hand.

"What do you want to drink?" Edward asked.

"A soda would be good."

We walked into the kitchen and Alice and Jasper were sitting at the breakfast bar. She of course squealed and jumped off the stool, knocking it down in the process. She came over and hugged me tightly while Edward walked over to the fridge shaking his head.

"I just knew everything would be alright." Alice said happily. "Everything is alright?"

"Yeah we are ok." I said.

She studied me for a moment before nodding her head.

"Alice." Edward warned as handed me a soda and put his arm around me. "Don't."

"Fine, fine. I won't." Alice said dejectedly.

"Bella I should probably take you home." Edward said suddenly.

"Why what's the time?" I asked.

Edward looked at his watch briefly before answering "6.30."

"Oh yeah I should probably get going,. Charlie is probably wondering where I am."

"Ok Bella well I'll see you tomorrow at school." Alice said happily as she came but to hug me before whispering. "Don't worry everything will be fine."

"It was good seeing you Bella. I'm sorry about how things went today." Jasper said as he gave me an awkward hug.

Jasper and Alice left the room talking quietly to themselves. Edward and I started to make our way towards the door but before we did Carlisle can down the stairs.

"Bella, Edward where are you off to?" Carlisle asked.

"Just taking Bella home before Charlie comes looking for her."

"Probably a good idea but first I just want to check her blood pressure again. So just come into the living room for a moment."

We all made our way into the living room. Carlisle quickly checked my blood pressure and informed me that it was still high but not as high as before. He double checked that I was still coming to my appointment tomorrow afternoon and I said I was so he was happy. Edward and I left then, we didn't see any more members of his family.

We drove to my house in relative silence. I didn't know what to say to him, I was drained from today. We pulled up out the front, Charlie's cruiser was in the drive way. I was actually hoping to beat him home.

"Um I think we should tell Charlie soon." I said quietly to Edward.

"That would probably be best. It wouldn't be good for him to hear it from someone around town." Edward said nervously.

"No one would be game enough to tell him." I said smiling. Edward just looked and me and shook his head. "I should get going."

"You are probably right. Don't want the police chef coming out waving a gun at me now do I. Can I pick you up for school tomorrow?"

"He wouldn't do that, I don't think, and yes that would be nice. I'll see you tomorrow." I said.

"Goodnight Bella." He said as he leaned over and kissed me quickly on the lips.

I made my way quickly up the front steps and waved to Edward before I opened the door. As soon as I walked in I heard the TV on and of course when I came into the living room Charlie was seated in his favourite recliner chair watching a game.

"Bells your home. Did you have a good time?" He asked.

"Yeah it was interesting." I said hesitantly.

"That's good." Charlie said paying more attention to the game. "I ordered pizza, should be here soon."

"Ok well I might go have a shower and if the pizza gets here while I'm in the shower I'll just heat it up." I said as I quickly made my way upstairs.

I quickly showered and changed, not bothering to wash my hair as I didn't have the energy to blow dry it. When I came back down stairs the pizza had already arrived so I had to heat it up. Once I organised my dinner I sat down in the living room with Charlie as he watched the game. I didn't really feel like eating and the pizza didn't smell all that appealing so I only took a few small bites before I pushed it aside.

"You right there Bells?" Charlie asked concerned as he looked at my plate.

"Yeah I just ate too much at lunch." I said quickly. I didn't really eat much but I didn't want Charlie to worry.

"Do you want to watch something else?" Charlie asked.

"Um no it's fine, keep watching the game." I said as Charlie nodded in acknowledgement.

After a while of watching the game in silence and eating our pizza, well Charlie eating his pizza, Charlie decided to make conversation. "You sure you are alright Bella? You look tired. Please tell me you took it easy today."

"I'm fine, just a little tired that's all. I didn't do too much just played pool and watched a movie." I replied.

"You played pool, ok. Maybe you should get an early night, you do have school tomorrow."

"I was planning on it." I said as I stood up slowly and started to collect the plates.

I headed to the kitchen and cleaned up the mess from dinner. There wasn't much but it was easier to clean it now rather than later. I said goodnight to Charlie and headed to bed. I didn't have to wait too long to fall to sleep because as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out cold.

When I woke up in the morning I felt like I'd been hit by a train, not that I have ever been hit by one but this is how I imagine it would feel like. I didn't want to get out of bed. I just felt really weak and tired even though I slept all the way through the night, which was a first for me in a long time. I didn't want Charlie to worry and I wanted to see Edward today so that was my motivation for getting up out of bed. I got ready for school slowly, putting on one of the outfits I had bought on the weekend – a pair of tights, a white long sleeve shirt and I threw on my new blue button up shirt that was loose fitting over the top. I threw on my converse shoes, which Alice would disapprove of but I didn't care they were my favourite and comfortable. I headed down stairs to try to eat breakfast. I decided on toast, I place two slices of bread in the toaster and got out the butter from the fridge and the peanut butter from the cupboard. I made my toast and as I was about to eat it I stopped. I decided against eating it, just the smell alone of food was unappealing, just like the pizza was last night. I picked up the toast and threw it in the bin and slammed the plate down on the counter. This was just getting to be ridiculous.

I finished getting ready before Edward arrived. When I heard his car pull up I grabbed my bag and headed outside. When I got to the bottom of the steps I was met by Edwards crooked smile, I loved his smile, he held out his hand for mine and pulled me into give me a hug and a kiss on my forehead. We both go into the car and headed towards school. We made general chit chat, Edward asking how I was, of course I lied and said I was fine but something told me that he knew I was lying.

The day was passing by rather slowly. My first few classes were somewhat boring and the other students kept looking at me, well they were all staring and they weren't being too subtle about it either. By the time lunch came around I was thankful for it. I was over the other students stares and I wasn't feeling the best, I really just wanted to be at home in bed. Edward was waiting for me once I finished my last class before lunch.

"Hello Bella." His said.

"Hey Edward." I replied.

"Do you mind if we sit with my family today? Alice is driving me crazy with her asking, well she is actually demanding but we don't have to if you don't want to." He asked nervously.

"I'd like to." I said smiling at him. It was true I would like to sit with them, I still wasn't sure about Rosalie but I really did like Alice.

Edward smiled at me and started leading me towards the cafeteria, all the while everyone staring at us. Edward seemed oblivious to everyone's stares but it was getting on my nerves. We waited in line to get our food, I wasn't in the mood to eat. Being in the cafeteria wasn't helping, the smells were almost making me want to throw up. I put my hand in front of my mouth, willing myself not to throw up – I didn't even think I had anything in my stomach to actually throw back up. Edward seemed to notice my movements and looked on with a worried expression, I tried to smile to let him know I was fine but I don't think it was that convincing.

Edward collected some food on the tray, I didn't pay any attention to what he picked out, and I highly doubt if I'd actually eat anything anyway. Edward paid for our food and we headed towards the table that his family was sitting at. When we arrived Alice looked up and smiled.

"Hey Bella." Alice said excitedly.

"Hi." I said as I looked around the table acknowledging everyone.

Edward and I quickly sat down, Edward on my right and Alice on my left.

"Oh so no one says hi to me then?" Edward said pretending to be hurt.

Alice just rolled her eyes. "Really Edward we only just seen you earlier. I haven't seen Bella all day."

Jasper was looking at me strangely. "You ok Bella?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah I'm good." I said quickly.

We all ate lunch talking about anything and everything but avoiding what happened on the weekend. I could tell everyone was watching me and notice that I wasn't eating. Everyone just looked at me concern written all over their faces, Edward especially. I just kept moving my food around my plate not really interested in it. Eventually lunch was over and Edward and I walked to Biology together.

On the way everyone we passed were whispering and pointing, Edward must have noticed me watching them because he pulled me closer to him and kissed my hair reassuringly. In Biology was uneventful, I sat close to Edward and he helped keep me distracted enough to not notice the staring and the whispering.

Edward walked me to gym, kissing me briefly on the lips before walking towards his class. I walked in not really wanting to be away from Edward, I wasn't looking forward to this class. The teacher called me over.

"Now Bella, I've got some work for you to complete considering you can no longer do the physical aspect of gym. They are just some essay questions. I'd like you to at least write 5 pages on each question you do there are 10 questions to choose from and I'd like you to at least answer 4 questions. Some of the questions are more in depth than the others so I'd like you to at least pick 2 questions from group A. You can go straight to the library from now on instead of coming to the gym. If you have any questions come and see me during Lunch or put a note on my desk in my office and I'll come find you during one of my free periods." He said smiling at me. 'Do you have any questions at the moment."

"No Sir. Thank you." I said as I turned to leave the gym.

I made it to the library and sat down, I really wasn't feeling well and for once I was glad to be able to get out of gym. I hadn't been feeling well all day and I felt worse as the day wore on. I was starting to feel dizzy and lightheaded, I hope that food would start to be more appealing to me. I began looking through the questions, trying to decide which ones to answer. I narrowed it down to 5 and decided that if I got the chance I would attempt doing 5 even though I only had to do four. Eventually I decided I needed to use the bathroom. I got up slowly, the dizziness starting to get worse, and collected my things, there was only 10 minutes left so I decided to take my things with me.

I got out the door and headed towards the nearest bathroom. I didn't get too far before I ran into Lauren. I could tell that she was going to start something by the evil looking smile that slowly formed on her face.

"Well, well, well Bella. How are you today? Any morning sickness?" She sneered.

"Lauren really grow up." I said.

"Oh come on admit it Bella you are pregnant with Edward Cullen's baby. Everyone knows it so there is no use in denying it. I mean why else would you get out of gym so easily."

"I'm not getting into this with you Lauren." I said as I started to walk away, I didn't get too far before I was pulled back roughly by Lauren. My head spun from the sudden movement.

"I can't believe you." She sneered angrily at me as she pinned me against the wall.

"Lauren move now." I said sternly as I started to panic. I could hear my head beat pounding in my ears. I started having trouble breathing and everything was getting hazy.

"You're a stupid bitch you know that. He felt sorry for you. That's why he slept with you. That could have been me but no you had to come and destroy everything." She said angrily as she got closer into my face.

Everything was getting too much. I could hear Lauren continue to talk but I couldn't register what she was saying. I was having trouble focusing. I tried to learn back against the wall but it wasn't there anymore. I looked at Lauren's face and she looked panicked, her eyes were wide in shock before everything went black.


	28. Chapter 27: Acceptance Finally

******A/N Ok so I'm sorry it's been so long since I have posted - the longest time between posts ever. Don't hate me!******

******So today is Christmas, hope everyone is enjoying their day wherever you are in the world. ******

******Here is my Christmas present to you all, a Chapter on Christmas day!******

******So thanks to everyone who posted a review/comment on my last chapter! ******

******Let me know what you think of this one! I hope to post another chapter soon!  
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******Disclaimer: **All credit goes to Stephanie Meyer, I don't own twilight or the Characters, I'm just borrowing them!****

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><p><strong>Chapter 27: Acceptance (Finally) <strong>

I could hear the faint sounds of something beeping, it was a constant beeping that was just bordering on annoying and I could make out the faint sounds of people talking. Why no one turned the damn beeping thing off I have no idea but the beeping was slowly becoming louder as were the voices. I tried to move my hand but it was caught and something was pulling at my skin. I started to open my eyes, everything was somewhat blurred and I had to blink a few times before I could focus properly. I had a feeling I knew where I was due to that sterile smell that assaulted me when I started coming to and that could only be one thing, I was now at the hospital. I didn't want to be here, I hated hospitals but I couldn't remember why I was here. The beeping started to come more frequently, I moved my free hand to my stomach. I knew that that action wouldn't confirm if the baby was alright but I just needed to. I wanted someone to come and tell me that the baby was alright.

"Bella calm down. You're alright." Dr Cullen said soothingly. "You're both alright."

I had no idea where he came from, or how he got to me so quickly, but he and my father were looking over me with concerned looking expressions on both their faces.

"W-what happened?" I managed to croak out, it didn't even sound like my voice.

Dr Cullen handed me a cup.

"Here you're probably thirsty." He said with a warm smile.

I tried to sit up but was having some difficultly, Charlie seemed to notice and helped me while Dr Cullen retrieved another pillow to put behind me. The water was just what I needed, I didn't notice how dry my throat was. I quickly drank the cups contents and leaned back on the pillows. I looked at Charlie and he honestly looked so tired and older somehow. I felt bad that I had caused him to worry. I didn't even remember what happened. I tried to move my hand again but quickly found out that I still couldn't.

"We had to put an IV in Bella." Dr Cullen said quickly. "You were severely dehydrated and you haven't been eating properly therefore we need to both for your health and the baby's. I know you dislike hospitals but unfortunately you are in here for a few days at least. I honestly did not know how server you morning sickness was."

I just nodded. I knew I hadn't been eating properly and I knew that was something of concern but I just didn't want to deal with it. I've had so much to deal with already that I was just over everything and I guess it finally caught up with me.

"Dr Cullen thinks you will be in here for at least 2 days Bells." Charlie informed me. "Don't argue please Bella, I'm worried about you."

"Ok." I replied. I couldn't make him worry more than he already was. "The baby?"

"The baby is ok Bella. You just need to start taking care of yourself and talk to me if you are worried or concerned about anything regardless of how trivial you think it might be. The morning sickness for example I didn't think it was as bad as it actually is. You can't let things like that go Bella, it is unhealthy for both you and the baby." Dr Cullen said. "It could have ended up a lot worse than it did today. You need to be able to eat and keep your food down. You have a growing baby inside of you that is taking what it needs from you and if you aren't eating then it affects you both."

"I'm sorry." I said as I burst out into tears. I truly was but I just didn't want anything else to have to deal with or people worry about me. I already knew that Edward was worried but to make everyone else worry too it just wasn't fair on them.

"Oh Bells. No one is mad or anything at you, we are all just worried. I know it is a lot to deal with but I just wish you had of talked to me or anyone for that matter. I am here for you sweetheart." Charlie said and he came over to hug me. "I know I'm not the easiest person to get on with sometimes and I know it's not the same as having your mother around but I am here for you and you can talk to me if you want, if not me then someone Bella. You don't have to go through this alone."

After a while he pulled away and smiled at me reassuringly.

"Ok. What happened?" I asked again.

Charlie's whole demeanour changed, he clenched his jaw and his eyes became hard. I had very rarely seen my Dad like this but he was pissed off and that was an understatement. I knew he was trying to control his emotions but I could see straight through it.

"I don't know what exactly happened but I do intend to find out the whole story. All I know right now is that Lauren Mallory cornered you, had words with you and shoved you at some point. This is all second hand knowledge from Angela Webber but she is a very respectable and trustworthy girl, I know her family, so I have no reason to doubt her or what she saw. Do you remember anything Bella?" Charlie asked his face softening slightly.

I tried to focus on what happened, even to just remember something. I honestly didn't recall much.

"Um I remember that she was outside the library when I came out, maybe I don't know. She wanted to talk to me about ... oh god." I said as I started to cry again. I buried my face in my hands.

"Bella you need to calm down." Dr Cullen said.

I nodded and tried to calm down. She thought the baby was Edwards, something I didn't want to happen. I looked at Dr Cullen and he smiled at me reassuringly.

"Bella sweetheart. What is it?" Charlie asked cautiously.

"She wanted to talk to me, well more like yell at me." I said quietly.

"What, why Bella? Do you remember what it was about?" Charlie asked, it was like he was in his police mode but still being my father.

I just nodded.

"Bella sweetheart please."

"It was about Edward." I whispered.

"Edward. Why on Earth would she ..." Charlie started to say before recognition hit and he raised his eyebrow. "That is why he was so upset earlier. He was worried about you. He kept asking about you and wanting to see you."

Charlie looked at Carlisle then and Carlisle nodded at Charlie. This was great. I didn't want Charlie to find out about Edward like this. I wanted to be able to tell him and ease him into it and not be forced to tell him. I didn't know how Charlie would react when I told him at a good time let alone while I was in hospital. I knew he was going to have words with me over it, maybe no right now – seen as how I was currently in hospital – but I knew it was going to come.

"Are you and Edward together?" Charlie asked warily.

I just nodded.

"How long?" He asked, trying to hold in his anger.

"Not that long." I replied looking at my hands.

"Bella why didn't you tell me?" Charlie asked sounding somewhat hurt. I found that odd, I thought he would be furious with me but hurt never crossed my mind.

"I think I'll leave you to it. Press the call button here." Dr Cullen said as he showed me the button. "If you need anything." And with that he was out the door.

"Bella."

"I was going to but I wasn't sure if we were going to stay together or not and I was going to this weekend." I replied, as I looked at my hands and played with my ring.

Charlie exhaled loudly and I looked at him, he was rubbing his chin, something he did when he was thinking or annoyed. I was hoping it was more thinking than annoyed.

"Ok. So why was Lauren talking to you about Edward." He asked suddenly.

"She thinks the baby is his. She found out somehow that I am pregnant and jumped to conclusions, which is why I wasn't sure if Edward and I would stay together it isn't fair on him." I sobbed. "I didn't want people to think that about him and they are and it is my fault and I told him we shouldn't be together but he wouldn't listen."

"Bella honey calm down. Please it's ok, just calm down." Charlie soothed. "Do I need to get Dr Cullen?"

"No ... I'm fine." I sobbed.

This was so not how I thought Charlie would find out about Edward.

"Have you and Edward talked about how people might think the baby is his?" Charlie asked suddenly.

I was shocked that he would ask that. I didn't know where this conversation was going. I thought he would just be angry.

"Yes and he doesn't care. If they think the baby is his then he isn't going to correct them but that is wrong I don't want people to think that about him." I said sadly.

"So would you like people to know the truth?" Charlie asked.

"What .. what do you mean?" I asked shocked.

"Do you want to tell people the truth about how you became pregnant?"

"N-n-no. I don't want anyone to ever know." I said.

"Well then people are either going to assume the baby is Edwards, or that you became pregnant and fled to Forks or you tell them the truth. It's a small town Bella and people will talk as much as I wish they wouldn't they will." He said. "I am also a little mad at you for not being able to feel like you could talk to me and tell me about you and Edward."

"I know dad. I am sorry, I was going to tell you. I just ..." I started to say but Charlie interrupted me.

"Bella what's done is done. No point dwelling on it. I don't like that you didn't tell me and that I found out this way but it's done sweetheart." He said quietly and he rubbed his chin again. "I'm going into the school tomorrow to find out more about what happened and see what is being done about that Lauren girl."

I just nodded. I didn't want to even think about Lauren or seeing her again. I knew she hated me because of Edward and I but she shouldn't have done what she did.

"I'm also going to call Renee and let her know you're awake." He said sheepishly.

"What! Dad please no. Tell me you didn't call Mom." I asked panicked.

"Bella." Charlie warned. "She is your mother and deserves to know."

"Yeah I know. I just don't want her to worry." I said, but the truth was if I knew my mother, and I did, she would either have already booked a ticket or half way here.

"Bella she is your mother of course she is going to worry. You will see soon what it is like." He said smiling at me. "Do you want me to get Edward for you?"

"Um is he here?" I asked shocked. I looked out the window and it was rather dark.

"Yeah he and his family have been here since you were brought in."

"What time is it?" I asked.

Charlie looked at his watch. "7.30."

"Wow really." I said rubbing my head.

"You were out for a while." Charlie said shuffling his feet. "Do you want me to get him? I know he is eager to see you."

"Yes please."

"Ok then. I'll see you soon." He said as he started to walk out the room.

"Um Dad." I said quickly.

Charlie spun back around. "What's wrong Bella?"

"Are you ok with Edward and me?" I asked.

"I do want to talk to you and Edward but if this is what you want and he treats you right then I am fine with it Bella but if he does anything to hurt you and I mean anything at all he will live to regret it. I will not let anyone hurt you again." He said as he walked out the door.

Not too long later Edward walked in. He looked like he had been crying, his eyes were red and puffy and I hated that he was upset. As soon as he laid eyes on me his whole demeanour changed, his eyes lit up and he instantly had a smile on his face. He walked carefully over to me, his eyes running all over me from head to toe.

"Bella, I was so worried about you, about both of you." He said as he placed one hand on mine and one on my stomach.

"I'm ok really." I said reassuringly. He gave me a look that said that he didn't believe me. "Ok obviously I'm not fine but ... well you know what I mean."

"Yeah I think I do. What happened?" He asked.

I replayed what I said to Charlie and well to say Edward was angry was an understatement, he was absolutely livid. I tried to reassure him but of course it didn't work. He told me that I was being stupid about worrying about people getting the wrong idea but really I still couldn't see how he could be so calm about it. Edward and I talked about what happened and some random stuff as well. It was good to just talk to him, however we were interrupted by a knock on the door.

"That better not be Alice." Edward muttered.

"Come in." I said giving Edward a questioning look.

Edward of course was right, but it wasn't just Alice, it was Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett as well. Alice had in her hand a small suitcase, that looked rather expensive.

"Oh Bella you're ok. I was so worried about you and the baby." She said quickly as she placed the bag on the chair in the corner. "Oh I stopped by your place to pick up some things for you. I figured you might need them."

"Um thanks Alice. You didn't have to." I said quickly before realisation hit, how did she get in? "Alice how did you get into my house?"

"Oh Charlie gave me the keys. I figured you wouldn't want your Dad going through your things and picking out what you might need and he obviously agreed with me." She said with a chuckle.

"Um yeah probably right." I said grimacing, the thought of my Dad going through my things wasn't something I would have wanted.

"So Bella how are you and my little nephew going?" Emmett asked.

"Emmett you do know that it could be a girl, right?" Jasper asked.

"No it can't be, I won't let him be a girl." Emmett retorted smiling smugly.

"You know you can't decide that right? And anyway it is going to be a girl." Alice stated.

Edward and I just looked at each other and shrugged. It was nice to see them, help get my mind off being stuck in this hospital bed.

"Well if it comes out a girl, it can go back where it came from until it decides to be a boy." Emmett said.

"Hell no. It is definitely not going back where it came from Emmett." I shrieked, how on earth did he expect that to happen. I shuddered at the thought.

Everyone in the room burst out laughing. Alice had tears rolling down her cheeks. I just looked at them all narrowing my eyes at them. Just then there was a knock on the door and Carlisle peeked his head in.

"Can we come in?" He asked. I just nodded while still scowling at everyone. Carlisle and Esme walked into the room and just looked at everyone confusion written all over their faces.

"What is going on?" Esme asked.

"Y-y-y-you should have s-s-seen your face." Jasper said between his laughter as he clutched his stomach. "o-oh i-i-it hurts to l-la-laugh."

I just shook my head at them all. I'm glad they thought it was a funny idea.

Eventually everyone stopped laughing and explained to Carlisle and Esme why they were laughing, even Carlisle had a chuckle about it but Esme had the same response as me. I still didn't feel one hundred percent comfortable with Esme but it seemed as if she was trying and if she was then I was too. They stayed a little and we all spoke about random things, I knew they were trying to take my mind off of being stuck in the hospital. Emmet of course tried to make me laugh and tried to steal my jello when my dinner was brought in but quickly gave it back when Rosalie hit him on the back of the head. Dinner was, well disgusting to say the least, it was definitely an acquired taste or for people who didn't have tastebuds. The jello was the only good thing and Emmett must have been delusional if he thought he could eat it.

Once I finished my dinner Emmett decided to talk about what happened. I could have throttled him for that. I didn't want to talk about what happened especially in front of Esme, I didn't know how she would react to what Lauren had said.

"So what happened Bells?" He asked. "There were different rumours around school but I think most a bullshit."

"Language." Esme and Carlisle both chastised Emmett, which caused Edward and Jasper to smirk at Emmett and for Emmett to flip them the bird behind his parents backs.

"Um just Lauren being a pain." I said vaguely. If I knew Emmett he would want to get involved but I didn't want him to get into trouble.

"Bells not sitting right, truth come on." Emmett said raised an eyebrow in Emmett's direction. "I need to know what happened and who I have to hurt."

"Emmett you will do no such thing." Esme said sternly.

"They hurt my sister of course I am going to do something."

He just said what, he called me his sister. Edward squeezed my hand and gave me a reassuring smile. I couldn't comprehend what was happening and why Emmett was referring to me as his sister.

"Emmett let the school and Charlie deal with it. Don't get involved and besides Lauren is a girl and you don't hurt girls. I taught you that when you were 5. Did I not teach you well enough." Carlisle said firmly.

"I wasn't going to physically hurt her." He pouted. "But fine whatever. Bells spill it come on."

I sighed before telling him and the rest of the Cullen's what I had already told Charlie, Carlisle and Edward. They all seemed shocked and angry about what Lauren had said but I didn't know if it was because they were worried about Lauren telling people that it was Edwards or that it caused me to end up in hospital. Alice, Emse and Rosalie seemed to answer my unasked question.

"I can not believe she said that. I should knock that bitch out." Alice fumed.

"Alice I think I would better handle that sweetie, I am taller than her." Rosalie said seriously. "And I already want to knock her out for the way she tried to hook up with Emmett at that party we went to when we first got here and she also annoys they shit out of me."

"Girls there will be not hitting or physical violence. I don't want you to get into trouble at school. She isn't worth it. I don't like what she has said or how she has treated Bella but violence is not the answer. Let her say what she wants, we know the truth and if people believe what Lauren says then let them. It seems to me that that girl likes to cause trouble and it will soon catch up with her." Esme said confidently.

"Wait what?" Edward asked shocked. "You don't care that she might tell people that the baby is mine?"

I am glad he asked that question because I wanted to but I couldn't find my voice, I was just too shocked that Esme had just said that. I mean she must know what that would do to Edwards reputation and the rumours that would cause.

"Edward, you have chosen Bella. She is a part of your life now which means she is a part of our family which means that so is that baby and if you and Bella are ok with people thinking that the baby is yours then I am not going to say otherwise. I just want you to be happy and if Bella makes you happy then so be it, who am I to tell you who you can date or not. I love you and I respect your decision, no matter what." Esme said sincerely.

I was shocked to say the least. I couldn't believe that she had just said that. She just gave us her blessing, in a way.

"Thanks Mom." Edward said as he got up to hug his mother. She whispered something into his ear and he nodded. I was curious to know what was said but I was just happy that it seems that his family was accepting us, all of us. The one thing that I was dreading the most was finally over and I could be happy. Happy that Edward wanted me and my baby, that his family, all his family, was fine with us being together. I knew today was a turning point in more ways than one.


	29. Updating: Sorry not a new chapter guys

A/N.

Hey everyone. I know its been a while, well a very long while since I've updated my story and for that I am sorry to those who kept up with my story and wanting updates. Things in my life have been somewhat crazy since I stopped posting, which has been both good and bad. Ok so the good news, I am hoping to start updating again soon, yay. I am currently going back through and re-reading my story – haven't finished doing that yet! Once I do I hope to start writing again. The updates definitely will not be as frequent as they were before at the moment I will aim for one update a month and any more than that would be a bonus!

Ok so the reason why I haven't updated is due to my life being completely changed. I now have an 8 month old baby and being pregnant was not an easy thing! I had a lot of complications during the pregnancy and the birth was not as I had planned! I was rushed into having an emergency C-section and then complications from that, which was fun to say the least. My little one hasn't been the easiest baby either, he has had bad reflux, has had trouble keeping his food down and doesn't believe in sleep at all!

So that is only part of the reason of me not being able to update, things happened prior to me getting pregnant with family and things but the pregnancy and having a baby was the main reason. However I am hoping that things are going to change now and I will at least be able to update once a month. If I can I will try to do more but I am not going to make any promises on that one! I am hoping to have a chapter done by the end of the month if not early in October for you.

I hope that you all are still interested in my story and like where I take it and how things play out. I had an idea when I started writing where I wanted it to go but now who knows!

Thanks guys

Kylie


	30. Chapter 28: Going back to school

A/N

**Ok so here is the first chapter in a while. Sorry it is short. I was expecting to write one so soon. I was writing it after I put my son to sleep and well guess what he is now waking up (put him down at 6.30pm and here it is 8.10pm and he is awake again!) I was hoping to have more time to write and get this a little more further in the story and more words etc but I thought I'd upload and see the response I got and if people were going to be interested in read this story again as it has been a very long time since I have posted a new chapter. **

**Anyway let me know what you think and if i should keep writing.**

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><p>Chapter 28: Going back to School.<p>

Here I am sitting in my room staring at the ceiling, this is what I have been doing for the past 5 days. I got out of the hospital after spending two nights in there, Carlisle made sure that I was able to keep food down – however this was with the help of these tablets that Carlisle had given me and honestly they were miracle tablets- before letting me out of the hospital. I was excited the day I got out but that soon faded. When I arrived home Renee was there waiting for me, this I was not looking forward to. I had spoken to her on the phone and I reassured her that I was fine but of course this wasn't enough for her and she had to come out to make sure I was alright. So for the past 5 days I have had to put up with both my parents fussing over me, as well as Edward and his family. During the day I had my mother, while everyone else was at school or work, and then in the afternoon it was a rotation of the Cullen's, yes and even Rosalie, however Edward stayed for as long as possible every night before my Father kicked him out.

Alice and I would talk, when we were left alone that is, about what was happening at school. Well Alice just loves gossip but me not so much, however I was interested in what was happening and the story that was being spread round school about me. Some of them were rather ridiculous if I do say so myself. One rumour was that Lauren was also pregnant with Edwards baby and that we were both fighting over Edward, Alice and I had a good laugh at that one but Edward not so much. There were even rumours around school saying that I had lost the baby and that I wasn't returning to school at all. I honestly do not know how or why people jump to conclusions or find that it is ok to gossip about people like that or spread false rumours.

I actually wasn't looking forward to going back to school but knew that eventually that I would have to. I knew that it was going to be awkward and it was probably going to be worse than my first day because everyone will have some stupid misconception about my situation and they will all be dying to figure it out so that they can of course gossip about me some more behind my back. I knew that it wasn't going to be as bad because I had Edward with me and the rest of the Cullen's and I knew that they wouldn't let anything happen to me.

I had found out that Emmett had gotten into a fight with someone as they had said something not too nice about me, I didn't manage to find out what – no one was willing to tell me so it must have been pretty bad - but it was upsetting to know that Emmett had hit someone defending me. I didn't want Emmett or anyone else getting into trouble because of me, whether or not they were defending me isn't the point, it just wasn't right.

Charlie and I had talked a few times over the past few days. It was uncomfortable to begin with but I guess it needed to happen. Charlie had told me that Lauren hadn't been back to school and that she had been suspended for 2 weeks due to our little altercation. She also had to participate in an anger management program with the school counsellor, she was also on detention for 2 weeks when she returned to school, she was being switched out of all of my classes and she was not allow to talk to or about me, and if the principal finds out that she did she is on automatic suspension. I was glad that she wasn't going to be at school when I returned, it was one less thing I had to worry about and it was even better to know that she wasn't going to be in any of my classes.

Charlie and Renee had decided to have a little chat with me about my relationship with Edward. Now that was a conversation I could have done without, and it was worse because they tag teamed me. The talked about why I didn't tell them, and felt I needed to keep it secret which honestly I wasn't trying to do, I wanted to see how Edwards parents and family would take to hearing the news about my condition and if they didn't take it well then there was nothing to tell, I was merely putting off telling them. They didn't really like my "excuse" as they called it but they let it go rather quickly, probably worried they were going to stress me out too much.

Eventually Charlie let up, he seen how much I wanted to be with Edward and how happy he made me. He wasn't totally on board with the relationship but he dropped it. Of course that meant that Charlie now kept a careful eye on us when Edward was over. I honestly don't know what Charlie was worried about it wasn't like anything of the physical nature would happen between us but of course that never stopped him from watching us.

Of course last night we all went over to the Cullen's for dinner, that included my parents, and that was definitely an experience. Dinner was lovely, but it was the conversation and somewhat of an interrogation after that was an experience. Dinner and the conversation around it was fine but I knew what was coming, the talk from the parents. Normally I don't think that parents would do this sort of thing, but I guess given the current situation Charlie was worried about me and I assume the Cullen's wanted to get to know my parents more. The interrogation was somewhat interesting, Charlie was in full cop mode and somewhat grilled Edward about his intentions towards me and the baby. Carlisle and Esme sat back and let it happen which I thought was rather odd but I guess they knew that this was something that needed to be done. Edward handled himself very well against Charlie's questioning and I was quiet surprised at some of his answers and Charlie seemed to be as well. I didn't know that Edward felt so strongly about me or the baby but he definitely made his intentions clear, he was in completely and when Charlie asked what he would do if people started thinking the baby was his Edward didn't hesitate to say he wasn't going to correct them. I think that took Charlie by surprise but not Carlisle, Esme or Renee. Charlie dropped his interrogation then but made sure that Edward knew he would be watching and that he wouldn't stand for me being hurt again.

So now I am wasting time laying in bed trying to find the courage to get out of bed. Today was my first day back at school since the incident with Lauren. I didn't get much sleep last night, I was up worrying about what would happen today. I guess it was a rather pointless thing to worry about because it wasn't something I could control. I finally got the courage and started to do my morning routine, I was glad that my morning routine hardly ever consisted of my meeting with the toilet bowl. By the time I had my shower and got dressed Charlie was sitting down eating breakfast, well if you could call it that, and Renee was standing at the stove cooking.

"Morning Bella. Have a seat sweetheart and I'll make you a plate." Renee said cheerily, which was a little too cheery for my mood this morning.

I quickly took a seat and Charlie looked over at me shook his head. Obviously what Renee had made for breakfast wasn't that appetising.

"Bella, Phil called this morning and I'm heading back home tonight so I won't be here when you get back from school."

Charlie looked on awkwardly and then stood and placed his plate in the sink.

"Well I better head into the station. Renee, I'll come back and pick you up at 2 o'clock and drive you to Port Angeles. Bells I'll see you tonight."

"Charlie you don't need to do that." Renee started to protest.

"Renee it's fine really." He said as he quickly walked towards the front door.

"Thanks Charlie." Renee yelled towards the front door. Renee then placed a plate in front of me and I hesitantly started to eat it. "Oh baby girl. I'm sorry I have to go so soon but Phil needs me."

"Mom it's fine really, I understand."

"We don't get to talk as much now that you live here. Oh now you're going to be a mother soon and you won't have me here to help you and I feel like I'm letting you down." Renee said sadly.

"Mom it's fine really. You're just a phone call away. It's ok really, don't worry about me I'll be fine." I tried to soothe her.

"Yes I guess you are right, you'll have Esme to help you."

"You're still my mother, that's not going to change and we can always visit each other." I said reassuringly.

"Oh sweetheart I'm sorry. I shouldn't be getting you upset or making you feel guilty. I know why you had to move. I still can't believe I didn't notice. I've let you down."

"Mom you haven't let me down not now and not ever. It's just something that I had to do. I like it here now. I have Edward and the Cullen's and well we all know Charlie needs me. I'm amazed that he has survived this long, especially eating take out most nights."

"I know. I'm glad you have someone but Bella be careful, he might want to be with you now but that might change later once the baby is actually here. I just don't want you to get your heart broken." I tried to protest but Renee wouldn't let me. "Bella I just want you to be careful that's all. Ok well let's leave that there. I love you Bella. Now eat your breakfast before it gets cold."

With that Renee got up and started to flutter around the kitchen cleaning it up, well I think that is what she was trying to do. I quickly ate some of my breakfast, which wasn't as bad as I had expected it to be, and said goodbye to Renee. It was sad to see her go but I knew she had to eventually and I would soon get use to her being gone again soon. Of course I couldn't get too worked up over Renee's departure because there was a knock on the door, which meant that Edward was here. As soon as I opened the door Edward was standing there, a smile on his face.

"Hey." I said quietly.

"Hi Bella. You ready to go?" He asked as he took my hand in his.

"Yes. Bye Mom." I yelled out.

"Bye Bella, Edward." She yelled back.

Edward picked up my bag for me and we walked towards his Volvo. Always the gentleman he opened my door for me and helped me in.

"Hey Bella." Alice said from the backseat scaring the crap out of me.

"Really Alice please don't do that. You scared me half to death." I said as I tried to slow my heart rate down.

"Alice really did you have to scare her?" Edward said somewhat angrily, as he slide into the drivers seat.

"It's not my fault you didn't tell her I was here." Alice said smugly.

"Yes well I did not really want to drive you to school now did I?" Edward said irritably.

"Yes well you should have thought about that then and left earlier or something."

"Well next time I will." Edward took a deep breath. "Bella how are you this morning and the baby?" He asked concerned.

"We are both fine." I replied.

They both seemed to realise that I didn't want to talk and let me be. I was nervous enough about going back to school and I didn't really want to talk, that would help take my mind off of it. All too soon we arrived at school, already other students heads turned to looked at the Volvo. It was like they knew I was in it.

"It's going to be okay Bella, trust me." Alice said reassuringly as she got out to the Volvo and walked towards Jasper and the others.

Edward came around to my side and opened my door. He picked up my bag for me and helped me out of the Volvo.

"Alice is right, come on love. Let's head to class. Don't worry about them, let them stare." Edward said reassuringly.

Edward and I walked hand in hand towards the school buildings. Edward was right, everyone stared but I just ignored them. I was thankful that when Lauren swapped classes that meant that another student from the class she swapped to got put into mine and well that meant that I now have Edward or Alice in all of my classes which honestly is great.

The first part of the morning involved everyone talking and pointing at me and it was even worse when I was with Edward but he ignored it complete and it didn't seem to faze him. Classes were to say the least boring as ever but it was less boring than usual because I at least had someone to talk to him the classes. The one thing I was dreading the most was of course lunchtime in the cafeteria.

Edward reassured me that everything would be fine as we headed towards the cafeteria, I wanted to believe him but honestly I didn't. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice were all standing out the front of the cafeteria waiting for us, which actually made me feel a little more relaxed. It felt like we were standing together and not letting everyone get to us, even though they were getting to me a little, well a lot but I wouldn't tell Edward or anyone else that.

During lunch there was gossiping and pointing more than normal. I mean come on it was pretty much confirmed that something was up considering that I had spent time at the hospital and a few days at home afterwards. At one point one of the students walked up to our table and I had no idea who it was.

"Hey Edward so you're going to be a dad." Said the student.

"Max you might wanna shut it." Emmett warned, he didn't look happy at all and was ready to get up and pound the shit out of him if necessary.

"Emmett it's ok." Edward said calmly. Why he was so calm I have no idea. I mean for someone to come up and out right ask was daring and somewhat rude to say the least. "What's it to you anyway?"

"Well everyone is talking and there are a lot of rumours going on and I also lost a bet and had to come over and ask." He responded sheepishly.

"You came over because you lost a bet. How fucking rude. Do you not have a brain or a heart?" Rosalie screeched. "I mean are you a complete and utter moron or what."

"I'd say moron." Alice responded angrily.

"No guys its ok." Edward said just as calmly as before. Everyone just looked at him with a stunned expression, including myself. "Bella I hope you're not going to be mad with what I am about to do but I'm over everyone talking and gossiping and coming up with their own stories and lies and bullshit. I am going to put a stop to it and I'm going to do that now."

I had no idea what he was going to do but I trusted him completely. I just nodded to him hoping that he wasn't going to do anything stupid.

Edward stood up and climbed onto his chair. I just looked on completely confused as did his family. Then all of a sudden he whistled and gained the attention of the whole cafeteria. Oh no this was not going to be good, what the hell was he going to do. It was completely silent and everyone was looking at Edward and our table.

"So you all I guess want to know what is going on. Honestly it is none of your business but this gossiping and rumours are complete bullshit. You all should be ashamed of yourself. How would you like to be gossiped about and rumours be made about you. You wouldn't." Edward yelled getting increasingly agitated. "Well honestly it is none of your business and why you feel like you should be able to know is beyond me. Bella and I are together, yes she is pregnant. Get over it. Move on. I am tired of the gossiping and rumours. Leave us alone. I better not hear any more bullshit lies about Bella or her being pregnant. No more pointing or staring."

Emmett and Jasper stood up then. "Yeah or else there is going to be hell to pay." Emmett added.

"We aren't bullshitting either." Jasper added.

Both Rosalie and Alice stood up. "Yeah you better not mess with Bella." Alice yelled.

"Or else you will have us to deal with and we aren't kidding" Rosalie added sternly whilst looking around the room.

The room was in a stunned silence. I didn't know what to do. I can't believe they just did that and that Edward said what he said. I was in shock of the whole situation. What would be the result of what just happened. What would the gossip and rumours now be, would it be worse or better. Before I could fully contemplate or come to terms with the ramifications of what just happened. A teacher walked over to our table, which probably wasn't a good thing.

"Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Rosalie you are all required at the principals office now." Said Mr Smith.


End file.
